Stuck in a World of Fiction
by TREBOR117
Summary: Instead of starting a new game, I end up living it. Now, stuck in a world meant to be fiction, I must use my knowledge to save this universe. OC/Ashley, Femshep/Liara. Rated T for language. Newly rewritten and improved.
1. The Begining

**This Self Insert started as a response to someone else's. I was reading it, and I wanted to facepalm when they failed to use information they would have had from playing the games. I don't even remember what it was called or who wrote it, or even when I read it. But that forgotten story is what caused all this. **

**What started out as a rough response to that story, what would happen if I was put in that spot, has turned into a story longer than anything I ever thought I'd write. **

**And I never, in my wildest dreams, imagined that it'd have over nearly 300 favorites, and over 500 reviews. What I really want to say is- thanks guys. **

**But that was only a first attempt.**

**So, without further ado, I present the final version of:**

**Stuck in a World of Fiction**

* * *

I was almost positive I was dreaming. Or going insane.

First of all, my head was ringing, and it was hard to think straight. Even the simplest thoughts were draining.

Secondly, I had no idea how I had gotten here. I was in a lush field of grain, maybe corn or wheat. Something about it was off though. Of course, I couldn't be sure, because of the other reason I thought I was dreaming.

I was running for my life.

_How could this have happened? _Some part of me dared to ask as bullets flew inches past my head. It was a miracle I hadn't yet been hit. Thankfully the field of grain was as hard for my pursuers to see through as it was for me to run through.

I had no sense of direction, I was just running blindly, constantly praying that my next step would not be my last. I almost fooled myself into believing it.

* * *

About an hour earlier, or so far as I could guess, I'd just been down in my game room, starting a new play through of Mass Effect. It was old, outdated, and the gameplay was nowhere near as good as the sequels.

But I had played through the third game a dozen times. And while the ending no longer sucked thanks to the new DLC, there were only so many times you could play through.

But I still thought Mass Effect was the best series that had ever been put into code. I was a borderline fanatic. I had read more fan-fiction than I could remember, devoted so much time to the games I was almost embarrassed, and raged at the original ending for a full fifteen minutes straight. I had then proceeded to start another run to see how different it was. Yes, I know: Nerd.

Ten playthroughs later… and here I'd moved back to the first installment, starting yet another game. Or rather, a second new game. I wanted two new versions to import, renegade and paragon. I tended to play good, then evil immediately after (or vice versa).

I had just played through the first two games with possibly my most evil version ever. Iron Shepard, a vanguard bent on killing as many people as he could. He made my other renegades look like Boy Scouts. Or Girl scouts, but you get the point. I basically made it his goal to kill as many people as possible.

To contrast, I wanted someone a little different than normal. Paragon, but still with a little bite in her.

I thought for a second, going through possible names. I never liked using normal names. Why name a character something like Megan, or Michael, when you could find names like that on the street? Iron, Shade, Snake, Venom, Matrix, Blade, all names I'd used. I'd even named a paragon adept Hero; she'd been my last play through before starting with Iron.

But I wanted something a little farther out. _Let's see, what would the soldiers under her command nickname her?_

The first name that came to mind was "Raptor." It signified speed and lethality, yet also sounding vaguely heroic. Just what I wanted.

* * *

My reminiscing was cut short by another near miss.

I came to edge of the wheat field, and froze, my advantage gone. In what I was wearing, I would stick out like a sore thumb.

I had two options. I could continue running, and hope they didn't catch up. _Or I could make a stand_. Both of them sounded insane.

But if I was going to die, I wanted to be looking them in the eye, not get hit in the back and see the ground rising up to meet me as my vision passed into the light of the afterlife.

It took a lot of strength to turn, but I did. I felt my blood race, my adrenaline surging. I felt ready for anyone.

But whatever it was that parted the grass and raised a rifle at me, it definitely wasn't human. No suit could create those three fingered hands. No human head would fit in that angled head, holding a single glowing light.

_Great, just when I thought I had reached the limit of my craziness, I get a Geth here. And it's not even a nice friendly one. _

I reached for the gun I had salvaged.

* * *

Raptor Shepard. A name that suggested a mysterious past, one filled with pain, no less. A tragic hero.

If only the face was easy to decide on as the name. It never was. I didn't want her to be ugly, but with a name like that, she definitely couldn't look like some weakling. I had seen some versions of Femshep that made me want to hurl, even before they got renegade scarring.

_Ok, start simple. Like with the hair. _Black and Shoulder length. Her skin was slightly tanned, looking like it had lightened over time.

She had a scar near her left eye, and a matching one on her well pointed chin. I preferred such to makeup. _Shame it'll vanish in the second game though. _

And the piece de resistance: Glowing purple eyes, looking almost cybernetic. I tended to have weird colored eyes in my characters as well. Despite the seemingly unnaturalness, they fit in well.

It was a soldier's face, but still a woman's face. It radiated kindness and compassion, while at the same time possessing a certain hardness warning you that she wasn't someone to be crossed. If you did, she'd put a bullet in your head.

Add the colonist back ground and sole survivor service history and it added up to someone with a mysterious past, someone that wouldn't reveal it easily.

I now had a mostly paragon soldier that wasn't afraid to go Renegade when someone really got on her nerves. By which I meant that I planned on going Renegade on the really annoying people. Udina, the Council, etc. It was something I tended to do quite often.

Something about the person Raptor represented got me actually eager to play the game for more than just a unique import. I figured this would probably be my last time through the first game. For a long time, if not forever.

I looked her over one more time, and was ready to go.

That's when the thunder started. Or at least I thought it was thunder at the time. Looking back, I'm not so sure.

But my immediate response was to curse out the storm. _Crap. Guess I better cut this short. Last thing I want is a 200 dollar X-box getting fried because I couldn't wait. I don't have the funds to spring for a new one._

I reached forward to turn it off, and the ground seemed to shake. I looked around, wondering how close the storm could be, for I assumed it to be merely lightning hitting the ground.

I reached for the X-box again, and the strike seemed closer. It seemed more prudent than ever to turn it off to preserve it.

Suddenly, the quaking was closer to me than ever, and I was frozen in place. A red flash filled my vision, and pain shot through me, like I was being skinned alive. I felt both stretched, and compressed at the same time. My very bones ached, snapping again and again.

I must have screamed, but I didn't hear it. All I heard was a loud whistling, wind rushing around me. I heard a banshee's scream.

Then, there was only blackness.

* * *

The first sensation that told me I was alive was pain. Everywhere. Even my face seemed to throb.

Still groggy, the first thing I said was "How much did I drink last night?" I just stayed where I was, face planted on the ground.

My limbs felt heavy, and my head was throbbing. Everything seemed brighter. My first thought was that I'd had too much to drink and blacked out, though it had never happened to me before. _Then again, there's a first for everything._ Of course, I think I'd still at least remember a party beginning, but I didn't. I couldn't. Slowly I raised my head, looking around. What I saw only added to what I now realized was a mystery.

I was in some sort of valley, with farmland on all sides. And something about the whole scene seemed… off. I couldn't place why, but this didn't seem like where I was from. It didn't even seem like it was even in the USA. _Ok, did I drink, or did I trip out and get dropped off in Canada?_

I got to my feet slowly, and stumbled. One look was all it took to figure out why my limbs had felt heavy.

_What the hell?_ _I was not wearing __**this**__ yesterday_. I was covered in some sort of... _I have no idea what the hell this is._ It was black and white, in a camouflage pattern. And it was made of some sort of metal. It covered all of me except my head, but it was segmented so I could still move. It looked some Armor straight out of a Sci-fi Movie.

_Oh, I get it. Very funny guys, faking some sort of alien abduction thing or something. Real original. _

There was a Red Symbol on the right side of my chest, the greek letter Omega. It was spotless, almost looking polished.

I reached to touch it, and realized the glove for my right hand was missing.

I looked at the palm of my hand, seeing a familiar sight. It was covered in a spider web of scars, from when I was too young to remember. In my blurry-minded state, that was about as much as I could process.

I reached over to my left arm, trying to see what it felt like from the outside. My hand was stopped a hair's width away, by no apparent means. I frowned, trying to find a way past it, but the strange barrier held firm.

The only term that came to mind was force field. I shook my head at my own stupidity. _Or maybe they plastic wrapped it to make me think that. Have to give them credit for detail though. Wonder how I'll get them back?_

I wondered why my right hand was uncovered, and cast my eyes around on the ground to look for a matching glove as on my left.

I turned, and my mouth fell open, seeing what had been behind me this whole time. It was amazing I hadn't realized its presence before.

It was a twisted heap of metal, easily twice the size of any car. It was also on fire. I could see a faint outline of fins, which some part of mind saw as wings.

But this was no plane I had ever seen. _Ok, if they really went to the trouble to build a spaceship, they really need to get a hobby. Or girlfriends. _I frowned, trying to think of who could even have done this, but nobody came to mind. I attributed this to the drinking, or whatever I'd been doing before. But part of me was starting to doubt this was a mere prank.

I looked again for my other glove, trying not to come to the obvious conclusion. I found it after a moment and pulled it on, noting how certain sections hardened as soon as it was on, whereas the whole thing had been pretty limp and flexible before. I could still move my fingers and had my full range of movement, but I was still ignoring what was becoming more obvious with each passing second.

I scanned the area for anything else that might tell me what was going on. I took an experimental step, expecting the suit to make it hard to move, but my body adjusted to the extra weight like it had been trained for it.

I shook my head. _Ok, get your act together. You have no idea how you got here, no idea where here is, and you're wearing some sort of armor. _

I realized suddenly that it might actually act as armor, considering that it was made of some sort of metal. _And the barriers would probably hold up against a lot._

My eyes widened at the thought, but seemed to aggravate my throbbing head. It seemed focused near the back, and when I felt back there, I could sense a definite bump.

_Ok, so I must have hit my head or something. That explains the memory loss, but not much else. Well, unless someone knocked me out to do this. _But that seemed a bit unlikely.

_When I do find out who did this, they're getting sued. _I kicked at the ground in frustration, and my foot hit a small metal box, maybe the size of a small novel.

I bent down to pick it up, turning it over in my hand. It seemed familiar, but I couldn't place it. A twig snapped nearby, and I turned to the sound, my left hand snapping up to cup my right as the box unfolded. My nerves were stretched as thin as paper.

For a moment, I was too focused on the possible threat to realize I was now holding a gun like I was born with it in my hand. The second I did, I dropped the thing like it was a live snake. I hit the ground a second later, half expecting the thing to go off when it hit the ground. I covered my head and waited for the sound.

After a moment I realized nothing had happened. Uncovering my head, I hesitantly touched it again, holding it gingerly, and making sure to keep the business end pointed away from me. I stood back up, warily keeping an eye in the direction I'd heard the sound.

I half wondered if it even was a gun; the thing was closer to the size of a Nerf gun or something. I'd had the chance to fire a few guns, but I'd never seen or heard of any gun like this one.

_Figures. This is the one clue I find! The last thing I need right now is a gun! _The second I thought it, the gun re-compacted into a small box. I looked at, sitting in the palm of my hand. _Ok, I've also never seen a gun do that. Except in…No, couldn't be. Could it?_

I my gaze turned back to the… I gulped, and forced myself to say it aloud. "Space ship."

It was crazy. _Scratch that, it's completely utterly insane._ Visions of strait jackets and padded rooms flashed through my head.

I took another look at the armor, comparing it my head to what I'd seen in Science fiction. More advanced than Gears of War, but much less so than The Master Chief's.

_John 117, John Shepard, Mass Effect._ The puzzle pieced itself together as the connections ran through my brain. I shook my head, trying to get my thoughts back in order.

But of all the insane scenarios, nothing else made sense. No amount of Military secrecy could hide something like this.

And given that my other idea was aliens, this fit in perfectly.

_Now all I need is an Omni-Tool_ . I thought sarcastically.

I almost was unsurprised when the orange device popped up on my arm. Actually no, I _was_ surprised, but I didn't have the energy to react anymore.

I sat down on the ground, still not believing what everything was telling me. I was trapped in Mass Effect.

I was stuck in a world of fiction.


	2. Eden Prime

_I __have__ to sit and think this crazy thing out._ It was a scenario that had been written more times than I could count. I was smack dab in the middle of Mass Effect. The difference being that it was now happening to me. While it was interesting to read about when it happened to someone else, it was pure nightmare in reality. I was only just keeping myself from panicking. And for obvious reasons, I was no longer convinced I was fully sane.

The glowing Omni-tool on my arm still bathed the ground in faint light, and I willed it away. It faded, and I lowered my arm. I slid the gun I was still holding onto my right thigh unconsciously, still trying to process this.

_This is insane! _Was my only thought for several minutes. My next thought was "How?"

_How? How the hell am I in Mass Effect? _I tried to stay calm, which was a struggle. _Ok, think this out._

The most obvious explanation was that I was dreaming. But if I was, then as soon as I died or something, I'd wake up. But since I was fairly sure I was awake, it didn't seem the smartest thing to try it out.

_Ok, so is this another universe, or is this the future and it just seems to be just like-_ I cut that line of thought. It didn't really matter.

I walked over to the crashed ship, putting my hand against it. I jerked it away quickly; the surface was hot enough that I could feel it even through my armor. That's when I saw my reflection in the polished metal, and what I saw made me jerk back, and I fell flat on my ass. I stayed like that a moment, mind reeling, in full denial. But I forced myself to go back and take a longer look. It wasn't my face that was looking back, not exactly.

It was like someone had taken my features and changed them, like in Photoshop. My face was a bit tanner, and I was actually clean shaven, lacking the usual stubble that seemed to grow no matter what I did.

But those minor details weren't at the forefront of my mind. Before, my hair had been a deep black, but now it was light brown. And it was cut almost to the scalp; if the color were lighter, it might not be visible at all.

Before, my eyes had been a dark almost-black brown, but the eyes staring back from that reflection were a vibrant blue that seemed to glow faintly. I wondered if they had been cybernetically enhanced or something. I had been a bit near sighted before, but now I seemed to be seeing perfectly, and I could tell I didn't have contacts in.

As I looked at myself again, it wasn't my face that appeared in my mind, but another's. Iron Shepard, the evil vanguard that had been unleashed upon the universe not so long ago. As I looked at my face closer, I could see why. Other than the differences in hair and eyes, in his case red and crimson respectively, I had made his face as similar to mine as I could get. My face had the same hardened look he'd had. Yet it was also somehow different.

It looked almost as though we had been fused. I shook my head. _This is interesting and all, but I have bigger problems than my appearance. If I'm really worried about it, I can buy some hair dye and colored contacts. _

_Assuming I live that long._

I eventually gathered enough composure to stand up and look around again, seeing if there was anything I could use. A pistol wasn't exactly a heavy hitting gun, and this was a dangerous place. All I could see was the remnants of Space Ship everywhere. _I need something to scan through all this._

My Omni-Tool popped back up, and I saw it had opened some sort of scanning program. I spun in a slow circle, letting the thing do its job.

A red circle on the glowing screen got my attention, and I walked towards it. Under a small piece of metal, I found three identical knives. I groaned, having been hoping for guns. _Better than nothing though_. I picked one up, letting the scanning program fade. They looked like what I imagined were standard combat knives, about 9 inches long, including the hilt. The 5 inch blades were razor sharp on both sides.

I slid them into sheathes on my left shoulder, the right side of my belt and left boot. I had them stored before I even thought about it.

I stopped cold, knowing something was wrong. Even more so than just being here. _How do I know how to handle a gun? How did I know sheathes would be there?_

Another question came to me: What was my name?

The thought that immediately followed loosely translated to "F*** my life."

Ok, so my memory loss extended farther than I thought. On top of everything else. What was next? Would an arm turn out to be robotic? Would I really be a Quarian modified to look Human? Would I turn out to actually be this universe's Shepard? Hell, I already looked like one version of Shepard! Or he looked like me… either way. I shook my head, trying to sort out the possible from what wasn't.

_So, to summarize, I'm in Mass Effect. And my memory was apparently damaged by that crash. Oh, and I have some sort of combat training, plus knowing how to use the Omni-tool. I'm pretty sure I didn't know that stuff before._

_God, I hope I'm not on some mission for Shepard and I've forgotten about it now. _That seemed to be the standard procedure in this scenario. Meet up with Shepard, stop Saren/Reapers, help save galaxy. God, it was done so often it was practically going to be the plot of a fourth game.

_God, saving the Galaxy. I couldn't even save one world, let alone all of them._

Speaking of which, I realized it might help to figure out where, and possible when, I actually was. I brought up my Omni-tool, something I was adjusting quickly to. It was basically just a fancy IPhone.

An IPhone that was implanted into my arm, had a holographic interface, and might possibly have a diamond hard blade somewhere in it. _Which would admittedly be cool, but not really helpful for my sanity. Or lack thereof maybe._

I shook my head, and looked at what it said. "Eden Prime, 2183." I muttered aloud, trying to place the date. _That's when… Saren first attacked with his Geth!_

Then the twig I had heard earlier was echoed. "Crap."

I started running.

* * *

And now here I was, holding a gun I somehow knew how to use, aiming at something that shouldn't have existed, and somehow not panicking. Whatever training I must have had and forgotten, I was grateful to it, though I really wished it had been unnecessary.

I fired, a near miss. The Geth raised its Sniper Rifle, and I dove to the side, turning it into a combat roll. I slid behind a nearby boulder, letting my heart rate even out.

I listened, hearing a very faint rustling of grass. I spun around the corner, gun up and aimed. I took its head off, and pumped several rounds into its chest.

I stood over the fallen synthetic, panting, and trying to swallow back my bile. I looked at my gun, turning it from side to side, but it didn't look like it took heat sinks, which fit in with the date._ Good. I get the feeling I'm not going to be all that accurate, so having unlimited ammo might help._

It was too much to hope for that I wasn't where I thought I was. _Right in the middle of the first attack by Saren's Geth. An entire freaking Army of them. And that's assuming they didn't also bring Krogan._

The thought made my knees shake. A Geth was bad enough, but a Krogan? I almost lost my lunch then at there at the thought of what one of those could and would do to me.

And I had just fired a gun right in the middle of them. Which meant that there were almost certainly others closing in on my position.

I had to move, but I forced myself not to panic. That would only get me killed. I brought up my Omni-tool, and looked at a map of the area.

It seemed like my best, and only, course of action was to find Shepard, whoever they were in this version of reality.

My map showed the direction to the Space Port, and I started heading that way. Hopefully I wouldn't be too late. I didn't really know what I'd do if I didn't meet up with Shepard.

_Hell, I don't know what I'd do if I did!_

* * *

After about an hour, I heard the sound of gunfire. The smart thing to do would have been to go the other way, so I of course ran towards it, despite only having the faintest idea what I was doing.  
...Hindsight really is 20-20.

I nearly ran face first into a Geth. The only reason I didn't die was because I surprised it. I didn't have time to grab my gun or a knife, so I did the only thing I could. I punched it in the face.

Which, as my fist was already in motion, I realized was maybe not the best move. I flinched, but instead of breaking my hand, the Geth went flying. I watched it crash into a wall, brain moving slowly. _Ok… what just happened?_

Before I could figure it out, its friends started shooting at me. I ran to the side, jumping down into the ravine, and rolling behind a large boulder, drawing my gun.

If I hadn't been scared stiff, I might have almost been impressed with myself. I probably looked badass.

"Who the hell are you?"

At least, I would have looked badass if I hadn't jumped at the unexpected voice. I turned, finally seeing another human, and grateful for it. The white and pink armor was familiar, but I didn't have time to focus on it as bullets went flying by.

"I could ask you the same thing." I snapped. A bullet shaved off a piece of the boulder we were hiding behind. "But under the circumstances, I think we have bigger issues. Unless you really want to get into it."

"Good point." She said, readying her rifle.

"Any idea how many there are?"

"A lot."

I darted my head around the corner, yanking it back almost instantly, bullets only barely missing. I took a deep breath, trying to figure out how many I had seen. "I think there's about a half dozen, give or take. We might be able take them out if we're smart." I motioned with my hand. "Go left, I'll take the right."

She nodded, sliding to the edge of the rock. I spun around on my side, shooting at the first target I saw. Despite my low expectations, most of my shots hit the mark.

_Ok, so I'm an expert shot now. Well universe, any other surprises waiting for me? _I ducked back behind the rock, letting my gun cool.

The Universe answered my question by placing a Geth right in front of me, and having it hit me in the chest with a gun. I fell on my back, my gun going flying.

It towered over me, and my hands went up instinctively_._ It pointed its gun at my head.

_No, not like this!_ I felt a surge of power flow through me, focusing into my hands. As the Geth aimed its shotgun, I pushed. That was the only word for the sensation. It went flying, like the other one had, and this time I saw the traces of blue energy covering me.

For a moment, I thought it was fire, and hoped it would somehow disappear. It did, and I sat up. I narrowed my eye, focusing on a nearby rock, imagining it rising in the air. It did so, covered in the same blue energy that had surrounded me before, and was now surrounding me again.

_Of course. Biotics. Why do I keep asking that and jinxing myself? _ I forced myself back to my feet, turning to face the Geth. _Well, maybe that explains why I look like a certain psychopathic Biotic. _

I raised my hand towards them, really hoping I wasn't imagining things. I focused on sending the rock flying, and it tore through one of them. Which still left three.

I would have cursed my stupidity if I hadn't been about to crap my pants.

Then the closest Geth went flying into the other two. _What the hell? I wasn't even trying that time._

Then two loud shots rang out, and they both died. The last Geth looked in the direction of the shots, and then it too fell to a single bullet.

I looked over my shoulder at my new partner. "Uh, was that you that did that?"

The question went unanswered; apparently she was focused elsewhere. "Yo! Sargent Pink, I'm talking to you!"

She just turned and glared at me.

"Am I missing something here?" I asked, turning my gaze the way she'd been looking.

Two figures in black armor were walking towards us, thankfully human this time.

I could clearly make out their features despite the distance.

The guy on the right still had his helmet on, but the glowing blue energy around him answered my question about the Geth, and I could make out enough of his face to realize it was Kaidan.

It was the woman next to him that really had my attention anyway. She held a sniper rifle like a pro, and was moving in slowly, apparently ready to score another expert shot like the one that had been my attackers' undoing.

Her eyes were what really got made me take notice. They were purple, and glowing faintly. They were both kindly, and piercing. They took in my armor, and turned to my companion.

The rest of the face I knew almost without looking at it. This was Commander Raptor Shepard. The last Shepard I had created. And it looked like it would be the last version I'd ever meet.

_Ok, I found Shepard. Check. Done. So what's next?_


	3. Shepard

_Ok, I found Shepard. Great, done, what's next?_

It was only partially rhetorical. Then I remembered: I didn't exist here, so how was I supposed to give her my name? The second I did, they'd be able to check records and see that I didn't really exist.

Of course, since I couldn't even remember my name, it was a moot point. I thought desperately for a name that would withstand scrutiny. _No memory, trained to kill, deadly…. Maybe use Iron's name, and some generic last name? No, nobody really has a name like Iron, what am I thinking? Then again, nobody ever had a first name like Raptor either._

I forced myself to focus, and tried to compose my face. It was a perfect poker face already. _Ok, just how much training did I get crammed full of?_

_Focus! Name! I need a name! Come on you Jason Bourne wannabe, think of a name and… huh, that's actually pretty accurate. Ok, that'll work. Not like anybody's going to remember those movies now. I hope._

"You two alright?" Shepard's voice was just like in the game.

"Well, I'm still breathing, so I'd say I could be worse." The woman in pink replied. It occurred to me who she was right as she said her name. "Ashley Williams of the two twelve. You the one in charge here ma'am?"

"I suppose I am. What happened here?"

"You mean other nearly having my face shot off?" I quipped. The look she shot me made me regret my big mouth. Always had been a problem before. _Ok, that's going to cost me. Then again, I'm already risking pretty much everything else too. _

"Yes, other than that. Mr…"

"Bourne. Jason Bourne." If it had been in any other time, I would have facepalmed as soon as I realized just how much that made me sound like 007. But I had bigger issues at the moment.

She glanced at my armor again, lingering on the greek symbol affixed to my chest. "You with the Alliance?"

I crossed my arms, keeping my face controlled. "You think I'm Alliance? I guess I should be flattered. That, or they've really lowered their standards. Try again."

Shepard's eyes seemed to flash dangerously.

I met her gaze evenly, though those glowing eyes were hard to look at.

She turned back to Ashley. "Ok, can you tell me what happened here? Since apparently he's being stubborn?"

"Maybe if you asked nicely, I'd be more inclined to answer."

She shot me a look clearly telling me to shut up. I decided it was a good idea to listen. I got the feeling Shepard wouldn't suffer idiots gladly. _Wait- I think I just burned myself._

"We were patrolling the perimeter when the attack hit." Ashley turned, pointing in that general direction. "We tried to get off a distress call, but they blocked communication. I've been fighting for my life ever since."

"Any idea what sort of enemy we're facing?" Shepard asked.

"The type that aren't friendly. " I said with a small smile. She turned to me, and I hurriedly added "I'm pretty sure they're Geth. Unless there's another type of Synthetic life that I'm not aware of." _Other than the obvious. Which she has no idea about. _It occurred to me just how much I knew now, at least for the next few years. If I lived that long.

Ashley nodded agreement. "That sounds right to me."

Kaidan spoke up. "What? The Geth haven't been seen outside the veil in nearly_"

"Nearly 200 years, I know." Maybe it wasn't the smartest move to cut him off with my knowledge of what would be said, but I normally would have skipped most of this conversation. Old habits die hard. "If you got a better explanation, let's hear it."

"Why would they have come here?" He shot back.

"They must have come for the beacon." Ashley said.

"The what?" I asked, feigning ignorance.

Shepard turned to me. "It's classified."

_Oh, so that's how she wants to play it._

I chuckled. "Oh, you mean that Prothean Beacon that they unearthed not long ago." _Ok, turn it around to knowing more than I let on. Or it's a rumor I heard._

"How did you hear about it?" Ashley confronted me.

"I could ask you the same thing."

"I'm actually in the Alliance."

"Good for you." I turned back to Shepard. "You guys can try to censor this stuff all you want, but things are still going to leak through. Most people don't have enough sense to keep quiet, so it gets spread around."

"Fair enough." She admitted grudgingly.

"I assume you were sent to retrieve it?"

She nodded.

I looked between her and Kaidan. "Gotta say though, even with a service record like yours, I'm surprised that they only sent two people."

Her eyes flashed again. "They killed our other squad mate."

That stopped me cold, and I cursed myself for being 7 kinds of an idiot to forget about that. I usually just skipped through the whole thing by now, but nonetheless… "I'm sorry. But even so, it seems like you'd need more than that for something like this. I'd have expected some opposition, albeit something other than the Geth leaving the veil for the first time in centuries." I shrugged. "Since my other plans are shot, you want some back up on that?"

Shepard frowned. "If you aren't Alliance… I'm guessing by the armor that you're a mercenary?"

I nodded, sensing the easiest explanation. It occurred to me a moment later that Mercenaries didn't have the greatest reputations. "Well, Ex-Mercenary. Or at least, that was my plan coming here. Like I said, that seems pretty much shot to hell at the moment. Besides, way I see it, there's safety in numbers."

"With all due respect commander, maybe we could use the help." Kaidan said.

She looked me critically.

I glanced at Ashley. "Is there anybody left from your squad?"

She shook her head. "I'm all that's left."

"I'm sorry." I turned back to Shepard. "I've heard a thing or two about you Commander. But if these things can wipe out a whole squad… well,"

She just glared at me harder. _Ok, I know the future, but I still have no idea what a woman thinks. Good. Glad that much is still the same._

"I guess I can't be too picky under the circumstances." She admitted after a moment. "What about you chief? Can you take us to the dig site?"

"Aye Aye ma'am." Ashley said with a nod. "It's time for payback."

I suddenly realized my pistol was still on the ground where I'd dropped it. I turned to it, already reaching for it, when it flew into my hand. I was grateful my back was turned to them, because for a moment my composure slipped, and shock painted my face.

It seemed that my Biotics were very responsive to what I wanted. _I'll have to get a hold on those. I really don't want to kill one of them by accident._

I stored the pistol, putting my poker face back in place. _Or for that matter, rip myself in half. Also very bad. _

Shepard looked at my sidearm, and shook her head. "Is that the only gun you have?"

"My ship crashed a few miles from here. Or it was shot down I should say. I was lucky to scavenge this much." I figured I might as well start figuring out my story now. "I picked one hell of a day to show up here."

"Did I see you using Biotics before?" Kaidan asked.

"What, a guy can't be a Biotic and still know how to use guns?" I snapped, stress wearing my nerves down heavily. And well, Kaidan had never been my favorite character. I could understand why some people could like him, but I wasn't a big fan.

He held his hands up placatingly.

Shepard stepped between us. "Even if you can give us some support with your powers, it would be a help."

I backed off a few steps. She was more than a little intimidating. "I guess. Kills me to not have a real gun though."

"If we find guns along the way, you'll be the first to have rights to them." Shepard deadpanned.

I nodded grudgingly. I knew that I'd be safer with Shepard than with anywhere else, but with all the Geth, it'd be nice to actually have a shotgun or something with more oomph than the handgun. Sure, I had apparently gotten Iron's abilities along with his looks, but that didn't mean I had all the biotic training he had. _Then again, I apparently have the same relationship with guns that he had…_

Shepard turned back to Ashley. "I don't suppose one of you saw a Turian Spectre around here?"

Ashley shrugged. "There aren't any Turians here as far as I know. Not sure I'd be able to tell if one was a Spectre anyway."

"If you saw the guy, you'd know. Carries enough firepower to wipe out a whole platoon." Kaidan commented.

I forced a laugh. "He's on our side, right?"

"Luckily, yes. I just hope he hasn't done something stupid and gotten himself killed." Shepard muttered.

"I doubt that commander." Kaidan put in. "Spectres know how to handle themselves. That's why they're only recruited from the best."

Shepard nodded, but I got the feeling her mind was elsewhere after that comment. After all, she was now a Spectre candidate. _Is it creepy that I know that about her and we've only now really met? _

_Actually, I'm not sure that question needs an answer._

"No offense, but maybe we should get going before more of those things show up?" I suggested mildly.

Shepard nodded. "Kaidan, you and Bourne take the lead. Williams, switch to your Sniper Rifle, and we'll cover them."

_That is really not what I was hoping for._ I thought, turning to the direction Shepard had pointed, my gun already up and pointed. It would be pointless to argue, not to mention suspicious.

Kaidan and I moved up, and I could feel Shepard's aim ahead of us. I hoped it was ahead of me at least. I got the feeling she didn't completely trust me. Not that I blamed her; _a Biotic that looks like mercenary shows up, claims to be a _former_ mercenary, and then offers to help, no strings attached? I wouldn't trust me either._ _Though that's going to make my job a lot harder._

"So, does this always happen in the Alliance?" I asked Kaidan in a low voice.

"Does what?"

"Sending the Biotics in as bullet magnets? While she gets to hang back and-"

Shepard's voice suddenly crackled in my ear. "Relax Bourne. I'm a Sniper; nothing's getting close to you. Just keep their attention and get them to where I can see them."

"Just checking." I said, now realizing I had an ear piece in. I hadn't noticed it before, focused on everything else. I got the feeling it might also be a translator for alien languages.

I guessed that Shepard had connected me to the network, or it had done so automatically. I wasn't going to ask though, too much of a risk. I made a mental note to look up a few things on my Omni-tool when I got the chance.  
"I mean, if you miss and hit him, he at least has a helmet."

"I don't miss. If you get shot, it'll be on purpose."

"That doesn't exactly reassure me." I muttered, really hoping she was kidding. It occurred to me that Shepard wasn't wearing her helmet either. When I was playing the first game, I usually kept it that way because the things looked more like something that belonged on a motorcycle, rather than a marine. _But why would she actually prefer to lose the helmet, yet Kaidan is still wearing his? Ugh, I hope I won't have to wear one of those things._

I suddenly noticed that Kaidan had fallen behind. I turned, and he was standing in front of a pair of Spikes, which had been impaled through a pair of colonists. It took me all of 5 nano-seconds to recognize them.

I walked over to the Dragon's teeth, on edge lest the things actually release the bodies as husks. Those things weren't too tough in the games, yet I wasn't eager to have one on top of me. But looking at them, I guessed that they were fresher than that. Looked normal at least, no signs of the reapers' conversion yet.

"This is brutal. Why would the Geth do this?" Kaidan asked, mostly to himself.

"Hard to say. Intimidation maybe?" I shrugged. _Probably a bad idea to tell them that it'll turn those corpses into cyborg-zombie things. I'd just sound crazy._

"Maybe."

Ashley's voice crackled in my ear. "Synthetics trying to intimidate? Yeah, I'm not buying that."

"Just because they don't have emotions, doesn't mean they can't exploit ours. Seems like this would take the fight out of a lot of people" I responded coldly.

"Nothing we can do for them now either way." Shepard said. "How far to the Beacon?" She asked Ashley.

"Should be at the end of this ravine. Let's just get there before Bourne does so he doesn't break it."

I opened my mouth to respond, when I saw the glint of metal from the corner of my eye. I ducked on instinct, a shotgun blast missing my head by mere inches. I didn't think, I just reacted on instinct.

Blue energy formed around my fist, and I hit the Geth with a punch to the chest, denting it and knocking it onto the ground. I stomped on its head, finishing it off.

I stood over it for a moment, breathing heavily; not from exhaustion, but just from the adrenaline rushing through me. _Ok, so maybe I don' t need that Omni-blade after all. And this certainly supports the whole "Got my powers from Iron" thing. _I caught additional movement ahead, hiding behind cover.

"Bourne! Move!" Shepard's voice shouted in my ear, galvanizing me into action.

I ran ahead, crouching behind the first piece of cover I could. "Hey Commander Sniper, now would be a good time to-"

My sentence was cut off by a pair of shots that took down three Geth. I think my jaw might have dropped.

"I'm sorry, were you going to finish that sentence Bourne?"

It was followed by a shot from Ashley that took down a fourth.

I grumbled a negative as I moved forward. _Guess this Shepard is different, just like I'd planned. My normal strategy was to rush in with a shotgun. Then again, I did want something a bit different than the usual paragon Soldier. First off, she's a chick, and they normally were Adepts, Infiltrators or Engineers. Does that make me sexist? _That actually made me crack a smile. _I think. With this pokerface apparently programmed in, who can tell what my face looks like?_

Shepard took down another Geth.

_Ok, guess she's a sniper. Makes sense, I wanted something different, and that would do it. And those things are pretty deadly. Still rather use a shotgun though._

As if the thought was reality changing, a Geth jumped out from behind cover right in front of me, with a Shotgun aimed at my face. I ducked under the gun and punched it in the leg as hard as I could, Biotics flaring up around my hand as I did so. Its leg snapped in half, and it fell to the ground, dropping the gun.

I grabbed the gun with my powers, and shot it clean through the head. Then I put another round in its chest. I looked at it with approval. _That'll work. Better than the pistol at least._

"You alright Bourne?" Shepard asked as she jogged over.

I motioned towards the inactive Geth. "Better than that thing is." I noticed the Geth that Ashley had taken down was still moving, pitifully crawling away. I walked over to it and aimed the gun at its head. "And I found a new gun."

I pulled the trigger. It took me a second to realize nothing had happened. I looked at it, shook it, then tried again.

"I'm impressed Bourne. I've never seen anyone break a weapon that quickly." Ashley chuckled.

I started slapping the gun with my hand, and I knocked out something that was red and glowing. _Oh, right. Geth actually use heat sinks. Ok, glad I can work on my aim while I've still got unlimited ammo. But so much for getting a new weapon._

I resorted to just hitting the Geth in the head with it. It was still moving, so I hit it again. "Must have some sort of fail safe. Still effective as a club at least." The gun was now bent and distorted; it would be useless even with a heatsink. I threw it away in disgust.

Kaidan unholstered his own shotgun and held it out to me. "Maybe you'll have better luck with this one."

I reached my hand out for it, and it flew into my grip. I shouldered it, testing the weight. It was unsettlingly familiar. "Thanks."

_I'm not sure I like it, but I guess it's better than you having it. You can barely even use the pistol. _

Shepard looked at Ashley. "How far to the dig site?"

"About two inches. It was right here, it must have been moved."

"By who, our side or the Geth?" Kaidan asked, more to himself than anything.

"Doesn't really matter." I responded, still checking the gun, barely knowing what I was looking for, but somehow finding it anyway. "If it was the Alliance, they'll need backup against the Geth. And if it was the tin cans, we've got some killing to do. Or making them go offline or something. You know what I mean."

"Well, you've already proven how good you are at breaking things." Shepard commented.

"It wasn't broken, it was deliberately sabotaged."

"Yeah, well, using it as a club broke it. " Shepard turned back to Ashley. "You think anybody survived here?"

"Maybe hiding up at the camp."

I looked around. "I don't see any bodies. Worth a look at least."

Shepard nodded agreement.

A voice suddenly crackled over her radio, and onto ours as a result. "Change of plans Shepard" the voice said in a voice that didn't sound quite Human. "There's a small space port up ahead. I'll meet you there."

"Roger that."

"Who's that?" Ashley asked.

"Nihlus. The Spectre I mentioned before."

I felt a cold hand grip my gut, the true reality of the situation finally hitting me full on. Before, I'd been more wondering how I had gotten here, and worrying about what I would do. But Nihlus's call was a double pronged blade.

Firstly, there was the fact that he was an alien, and thus I'd be the first person from my time to meet one. _Although, I did already meet a few Geth. Then again, they're more like robots than aliens._

Secondly, I realized that my statement wasn't quite right. I'd be the first to meet an alien yes, but it wouldn't be Nihlus. I'd only "meet" his corpse. Getting myself killed was one thing, but letting someone else die by my own inaction?

My conscious screamed at me to tell them about Saren. To warn Nihlus of what would happen.

Another part of my mind screamed back not to. I had just met Shepard, so why would she believe something so far-fetched? Not to mention the disbelief I'm sure the Spectre would have.

None of this showed on my face as we moved up the ridge towards the camp.

I knew what would happen if I stayed quiet, but the results of opening my mouth were unknown to me. I hated myself for it, but I couldn't reveal what I knew. It would only go south. It was unavoidable.

"Looks like they hit the camp hard." Ashley commented as we got to the top.

Her words set off a whole new chain of thought, as unwelcome as the last. It involved her, and Kaidan, and a certain explosive device on Virmire. I forced the thought away. It was too soon to think about that, especially in a hot zone. The last thing I needed was to be distracted.

"This is a good place for an ambush. Keep your guard up." Kaidan commented, eyes scanning the field.

I realized just how much I had thought about between those two sentences. _Great, another mystery. Because that's exactly what I need. Now I even think faster? _

The sharp sound of metal sliding on metal snapped me back to full awareness. My shotgun was up and ready almost before I knew it.

"Oh god! They're still alive!" Kaidan shouted as the dragon's teeth released their deadly payload.

"What did the Geth do to them?" Ashley seemed to ask the air. I knew, yet I found myself thinking the same thing. They only looked vaguely human, the same basic shape.

But that skull like face, those robotic eyes, the light shining off of them, the electrical pulse surrounding them… I knew they were beyond saving.

That was what made me raise my shotgun, and blow the first one's head clean off. I turned to the second one as it ran at me, but the electrical pulse it emitted threw my shot off.

I tried to get off a third shot, but my gun was now over heated.

I growled some obscenity and rolled to the side; it ran past and stood there a moment, mind no longer what it once was. I holstered the shotgun and drew my shoulder blade in one fluid movement. It finally turned around to face me, right as I drove the knife through the skull. The electrical shock shorted out my shields as it traveled over from the knife. Its eyes flickered as it died.

I pulled the knife free, and the corpse collapsed. I looked at the knife, and it appeared undamaged despite having been forced through the thick bone. _Yeah, maybe the whole Omni-Blade thing is over-rated. Assuming the things have even been created yet._

A shot suddenly shot past my head, barely missing me. I ducked, turning to see Shepard lowering her rifle. I looked behind me and saw a husk I hadn't even noticed behind me, with a small hole between its eyes.

"You could have just told me it was there instead of scarring the hell out of me." I said as I got back to my feet, switching the knife for the shotgun again.

"Didn't figure a big man like you could get scared." Shepard smirked. So she had some sense of humor at least. But the smile was gone almost as soon as it came. "Come on. Let's get to the Space Port quickly." _Ok, what if we get there as Saren does? I need to distract her somehow._

I glanced at the locked lab nearby. Shepard followed my gaze. Holstering her rifle, she walked over to the door and brought up her Omni-tool.

My shields started recharging, and I wondered how I was supposed to keep track of it. An indicator suddenly flashed across my vision, along with a status indicator for the gun. It seemed to be projected onto my eyes.

I shrugged, both in response to her comment, and the new add-ons. It wasn't the weirdest thing I'd seen today.

_Unfortunately. _

"God Damn it!" Shepard shouted as the door's light turned a flashing red.

_Ok, that does come close though. But I guess I did that a few times in her place too, so maybe I shouldn't talk._

"Maybe some Omni-gel could get it open." Kaidan suggested.

Shepard slung her sniper rifle into her arms. "We don't have enough at the moment. I just hope there wasn't anything important in there."

I had to fight laughter at her expression. "Looks like we're both pretty good at breaking tech." I said, then was no longer able to hold it back.

She shot me a glare that stopped my laughter in my tracks. "I'm a soldier, not an engineer."

I gestured to Kaidan. "Yeah, well, maybe we should let the Sentinel handle any tech we come across from now on."

"How did you know he was a sentinel?"

I shrugged, cursing myself for the slip. "Lucky guess."

She scrutinized me a moment, then gestured for me and Kaidan to take the lead again. She still seemed perplexed, and a bit suspicious, but apparently she didn't feel like pursuing it.

_And disaster is averted. Well, other than the whole "Stuck in a place that shouldn't exist" thing. Ok, maybe it's more like minor disaster put off and major trouble still here. _

_Damn, maybe I should have just- forget it._

"Come on. Let's get this over and done with." Shepard muttered as she unslung her rifle again.

A single loud shot split the air.


	4. Saren

A single loud shot split the air, and I knew what that meant. I had just killed someone, someone that I had never known, that had done nothing to harm me.

_And I did it to save my own selfish skin._

"That was loud." Ashley muttered.

"It came from the direction of the spaceport." Shepard said grimly.

"Think it was Nihlus?" Kaidan asked.

I didn't trust myself to speak. I stuck to a noncommittal shrug. I'd never been the most religious guy, but I was suddenly praying to whatever god there was that my face wouldn't give me away.

"Maybe." Shepard said. She raised her gun to her eye and waved us forward. "Double time it people! Move!"

I was sprinting there, hoping that I could somehow save Nihlus, give him back his life. But as soon as I turned the corner, I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Look at that! Off in the distance!" Kaidan shouted, unnecessarily loud._ Yes, we all see it, thank you Captain Obvious. _

I had played the third game a lot, but a Reaper was a lot bigger in person than on a TV screen. And the devastation one could cause…

"It's a ship! Look at the size of it!" Ashley's voice held equal parts fear and awe._ Again, no one here is blind. We all see it._

I didn't even want to think about what that thing would do if it decided to land. Geth were bad enough. Getting someone killed was horrible enough. But trying to wrap my head around casualty numbers like that…

Shepard stopped next to me. Her face was a lot less controlled than it had been. She looked worried, and rightly so.

"Bourne, have you ever seen anything like this?"

"You're asking the wrong person Shepard." I turned to her. "Only time I ever saw something that big was in a movie."

"A what?"

I cursed myself for using the older terminology. "Old word for vid."

"Never heard it before."

"It's a bit antiquated. A lot of the stuff I say is. What can I say? I like the classics." I turned back to the Reaper. "For example: WTF? Basically translates to 'what the hell is that giant ship?' Paraphrased of course."

There was a sudden stab of pain in my head and the world spun around me.

I must have tottered, because Shepard put a hand out to stead me. "You alright Bourne?"

Whatever it was passed quickly. I shrugged her off. "I'm fine."

"The ship?" Kaidan asked. "I felt something too. Like it was in my head."

I raised my shotgun again. "We can worry about it later." I said as a screeching moan filled my ear drums. "More of those Husk things inbound!"

Shepard's gun was already up and aimed. "These things move fast. It's hard to get a bead on them."

I held my gun with my left hand, and snapped my fingers. Blue energy crackled around my fingers. "Maybe I can help with that."

_If I can figure out what the heck I'm doing._

I took a deep breath to steady myself. _Sometimes you have to run before you can walk._ I looked at the Geth, thinking of what Shepard needed. _ Right there. _

I aimed my hand, and something flew from it. I felt my jaw drop as I watched all the husks nearby lift into the air, revolving around what I had just done. Shepard moved up to the end of the ramp. Using it as a vantage point, she started scoring headshots on all of them, and I could see the vortex itself hurting them. Ashley switched to assault rifle and started shooting.

_Ok, back up. Iron was a Vanguard, and it's pretty clear I got all the powers from him. So how the heck did I just make a singularity? _

_I mean, I don't know what I expected to happen, but that certainly wasn't it. _

"Nice work Bourne. Didn't figure you could make one of those." Kaidan commented as he threw another husk back.

I once again didn't speak, not trusting myself. I aimed my shotgun at a Geth, pulled the trigger, and watched the pellets spread out so much that not a single one hit it.

_Oh, right. Not good for range. _I suddenly wondered if maybe my Biotics were controlled by thought, rather than the hand motions and maneuvers that seemed more standard. It would make a weird sort of sense, considering that that's what I'd really done when playing.

I raised my hand towards the Geth, glowing blue, and I willed that the Geth would be shredded apart. Something shot from my hand, different this time. It sped towards the Geth, and when it hit it, it swirled around the synthetic, tearing it up. _Oh. So that's how you Warp._

I looked at another Geth, keeping my hand at my side and willed the same effect. Blue energy shot from around me, and the Geth was destroyed on impact, already weakened by the others' fire.

Shepard surveyed the battle field from her vantage point. "Looks clear from here. You see anymore?"

"Negative commander." Kaidan responded.

Shepard backtracked to get to us. Kaidan turned to me. "You know, I've seen a lot of Biotics in the Alliance. And you're as good as any I've met. Maybe better even."

"Thanks." _This certainly complicates things. Warp wasn't really a vanguard's ability either. So, if I didn't just get my powers from Iron, who else did I get them from? I mean, I did have half a dozen Biotic versions of Shepard. Though I'm guessing I didn't get anything from the sentinels._

It made an odd sort of sense. If I was going to end up in Mass Effect- _Ok, maybe the fact that I'm talking about that so casually should worry me. More than I'm already worried. –_ It had to be that I needed to do something important. Like saving the universe.

And considering Iron's usually style of rushing in with a shotgun and no plan, maybe it was better I swapped a few powers. Once or twice, he had died so many times in a row that I just ended up lowering the difficulty. Vanguards were the most fun to play as, but also the least fun. I loved moving around the battlefield quickly and tearing stuff up. I hated the dying. _Ok, really glad I can be smarter than that here. I don't think there'll be a save and reload feature. But speaking of the charging…._

I looked at a point in the distance, and willed myself there. Nothing happened, as I suspected. _So, no charging. But is that because of- Ah screw it. Just go with it man, you don't need more mysteries. _Yet I still ended up juggling with ideas.

I was shocked to suddenly realize we were at the space port.

My eyes instantly fixed themselves to one spot.

"Commander, it's Nihlus."

_So, that's what an alien looks like._ I was almost unsurprised to realize I wasn't shocked at this point.

My feet carried me forward. I looked around, making sure we were alone for the moment. Saren still being here was unlikely, but I certainly wasn't going to take that risk.

Shepard knelt beside him.

I did the same. I couldn't help myself. I was morbidly curious, considering I had as good as killed him.

"Damn it Nihlus, why did you have to go alone?" Shepard said to herself. I don't think I was meant to hear. But heard it anyway, quickly realizing just how much had changed. In more ways than one. I had somehow managed to rationalize to myself that it would have happened anyway, so I wasn't guilty. I hated myself for hoping that pattern would stay. I knew I would have to kill others in the future, probably a lot more directly.

"Was he a friend of yours?"

Shepard hesitated. "I don't know. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. But we respected each other."

"I'm sorry."

My eyes were drawn to the back of his head. Not just at the strange ridges and crests that were there, but also the big gaping hole leaking blood and brain matter onto the ground.

I forced myself not to hurl. Geth were one thing. The husks were monstrous enough that I could detach myself. But I couldn't distance myself this time. Even if this had been necessary, it was still brutal to someone who'd never seen a corpse outside of a funeral.

"I think I found what killed him." I muttered. Shepard heard me as easily as I'd heard her.

She moved around to take a look. "What do you think did it?"

I shrugged. "Hard to say." I decided to go for a risk_. I must have gotten __some__ knowledge of guns in all those playthroughs and novels._ "But I'm guessing it wasn't a shotgun. If it was, he wouldn't have a head left." I frowned, pretending to realize something. "And it seems like just about every geth has been using one of those, or an Assault Rifle. But one of those doesn't seem right either."

Shepard nodded agreement. "You're right. It would have taken a lot of sustained fire to bring down the shields in the first place. And nobody would stand still that long."

"You're more of a sniping expert than me. Think that might have done it?"

"If it could go through his shields, it would have punched clean through his head."

"So, pistol?"

"Right. And I can't see the Geth using one of those unless they had to."

"And even then, a clean shot to the back of the head would have been unlikely unless he was taken by surprise. It would have had to be point blank."

"I doubt he would have been taken by surprise." She frowned. "It must have been that loud shot we heard. Modded pistol."

"What, you recognized the sound?"

"Now I do."

I looked at her oddly, waiting for an explanation.

She shrugged. "I'm best as a Sniper. I've learned that sounds can be as important to pay attention to as what I'm seeing through the scope. Hearing a footstep while I've had my eye up to the scope has saved my life a few times."

"Ok, I get it. You're good."

"Another time someone had too much cologne on. I could smell him."

"You're shitting me."

"No. I do take exception to what you said before though. I'm not good, I'm great."

I forced myself not to roll my eyes. "But some more info on what happened here would be even better."

I stood up and turned to the nearby stack of crates. "Maybe you could tell us what happened?" I said, raising my voice a bit.

Nothing happened. I narrowed my eyes. "I know you're back there. Come out."

Shepard stood up next to me. "Um, Bourne, I'm not sure someone's back there."

_Is it possible he didn't survive the attack? _I wondered. If he hadn't, how would Shepard find out about Saren?

I felt a surge of anger, and my powers flared around me. The crates also glowed, and then the pile ripped apart, flying all across the spaceport. The others raised their hands on reflex, shielding their faces. The carnage revealed a very scared man who'd been knocked to the ground. A stain was rapidly spreading across his pants.

He looked up at me, and was plainly terrified.

I couldn't hold back a satisfied smile.

Shepard looked at me like I was crazy. "You realize that stunt could have killed him?"

"He should have showed up the first time then." Considering all the other crap I had just learned to do, scarring the piss out of one dockworker -_literally_- wasn't going to weigh on my mind quite so heavily.

I walked over to him. "So, apparently your listening skills aren't the greatest if you didn't hear me ask either time."

He raised his hands up over his face like I was going to hit him. "I'm sorry! I was hiding from those creatures! I didn't know who you were! You could have been a mercenary for all I knew!"

I glanced at the blood red Omega on my armor. And then at the trio of knives spread over me. And there was the oddly off-putting grey cameo pattern. _Damn, no wonder Shepard guessed I was a Merc. _"Fair point." I admitted. _Maybe I should replace this at some point._

_Nah, looks way too badass._

_Good point. Glad that's taken care of._

It occurred to me that I was talking to myself. Not a good thing when I might already be crazy.

"Bourne, back off!" Shepard said. Her tone made any argument I might have raised die on my tongue.

I took a few steps back, crossing my arms. I was a little angry with myself now.

"We aren't going to hurt you." Shepard assured him, putting her sniper rifle away. "But we need to know what happened here."

He glanced at me again.

"I won't hurt you unless you make it necessary." I tilted my head to the side in question. "Will it be necessary?"

"No Bourne, it won't." Shepard said, voice sounding like death.

"Glad to hear it. Now talk." I said to him. "What happened to this guy? We right about it not being Geth?"

"No, it was a Turian."

Ashley, who I had almost forgotten about, spoke up. "You're saying a Turian killed him? Another Turian?"

I groaned. _That's the one thing I never liked about her. Such a damn racist!_ "Yes, Turians kill other Turians. Big shocker, I know. It's not like Humans have ever killed Humans before. Oh, wait, never mind, yes they have. Would you like some examples? "

She shot me a very dirty look but shut up. Wasn't much she could say to something like that.

"Go on."

"The other one got here first. He was waiting when your friend showed up. I think they knew each other."

Shepard turned to me. "So Nihlus would have let his guard down. Explains how he got jumped."

The Dockworker nodded, still on the ground. "Yeah, exactly. And as soon as your friend let his guard down, that bastard shot him right in the head. I'm just lucky he didn't see me behind the crates."

"Why were you hiding behind the crates?" Shepard asked.

I was less worried about that info than a certain name this guy had yet to mention. "Did you happen to catch this other guy's name?"

He thought for a second. "I… I can't remember."

I ground my teeth together in a fierce grimace and crouched next to him. "Think harder." I growled.

He stammered, trying to remember.

My hand went slowly towards my boot knife. The way I was crouching would make it very easy to use it on him if it came to that.

"It was Saren! Saren!"

That stopped me. I could see the terror on his face, hear it in his voice. In an odd way, it was very satisfying. In another, it terrified me what I was willing to do. But considering how pivotal this was to everything… Not stopping Saren would be very bad. I had already seen one Reaper. But there were a lot more.

_Is that really the most important thing? Does what I just did to him not matter?_

I realized I'd been frozen too long to play off, and my face had lost its calm mask. The surprise I had with myself shown through cleanly.

"Saren? Are you sure?" I asked, trying to cover it up. "Can you describe him?"

"I don't know, I haven't seen many turians before." Eyeing my knives again, his memory quickly got much better. "But he didn't have any of those clan markings on his face. And one of his arms was a prosthetic of some sort."

"Bourne, ease up." Shepard commanded.

I stood up, and looked her right in the eye. "I've heard that name before. He's a Spectre, supposedly one of the best. But if even half the rumors I've heard are true… he's not a fan of Humans. And he's brutal. Only works to preserve life if ordered specifically. And even then he doesn't work very hard at it. This is extreme for him, but it would fit."

She just glared at me. "Was it necessary to threaten him though?"

I shrugged. Like I said, I was guilty of a lot worse at the moment. "Maybe, maybe not. We got the info, isn't that the really important part?" I was trying to justify it too myself as well. It took me about five milliseconds to realize I had effectively put my foot in my mouth and then used duct tape to secure it. Raptor was meant to be paragon, but part of me was still thinking Iron's renegade tactics.

"No Bourne. What's important is-"

"Please don't give me a lecture on morals. I've had way too long of a day for that."

She glared harder.

"Look, maybe you can get negotiations and sweet talking to work, but I usually have to go with _aggressive_ negotiations."

"And what, pray tell, are those?"

"Negotiations with knives or bullets."

She sighed. "I can tell already bringing you along was a good idea."

"Hey, if I wasn't here, this guy would still be hiding behind the crates." I said, gesturing to him. Then I realized he was trying to slip away. "Hold it! I'm not done with you yet!"

He slowly turned around.

"You can either walk over here on your own, or I can drag you over. With my Biotics." I held up a hand, glowing blue for emphasis. "Your choice."

He held his hands up, slowly coming back, so I killed the powers. "What else do you want? I've told you all I know!"

"Maybe you can tell me why you were the only one behind the crates? Why didn't anybody else hide back there?" Shepard asked, crossing her arms.

"Well…." he hesitated.

"If you don't feel like talking, maybe I'll change my mind about Bourne's tactics." She sounded irritated, and I couldn't tell if it was with me, or him. _Or maybe both. Yeah, still no idea what a woman is thinking._

"I was already behind the crates when the attack hit."

Kaidan held a hand up. "Wait, you were already hiding before the attack?"

"Sometimes I need a nap to get through my shift-"

I interrupted. "So you were just lucky enough to be lazy enough to not get killed."

"You survived because you're lazy?" Ash sounded scandalized.

"Yeah, I sorta just said that Williams."

Shepard shook her head. "Luck break for you. If you hadn't been snoring, the Geth would have got to you too."

"I guess. I don't want to think about it."

"Well here's something else to think about. Where's that Prothean Beacon that's got everyone so worked up?" I asked, trying to move things along. This whole thing would normally be done by now. Just rescue him, get his grenades and upgrades for said grenades, then move on… _Wow Bourne. Just, wow. You took this long to remember the frakking grenades. What is wrong with me? Other than the obvious?_

"It's on the other platform where Saren headed after he killed your friend. Take the cargo train." He looked around, worried. "Can I go now? I don't know anything else."

"Give us that military gear you're smuggling and I'll be happy to let you go."

"Ok, I'll…" his face suddenly changed as he realized what he'd said. _Looks like the cat that ate the canary. Huh, I think I just might like being this all-knowing. _ "I mean, I, uh-"

I just smiled.

"You're smuggling military gear while we're our here dying for you?" Ashley said. Her hand twitched towards her pistol.

I waved a finger. "Tsk tsk. Don't you know smuggling is illegal? But then again, if you were to give it to the Alliance Commander here, maybe it wouldn't be."

Shepard looked at him, face impassive.

He hung his head in resignation. "Ok, you can have the grenades."

"Anything else you want to give us?" Shepard and I asked at once. We looked at each other, and we had the same expression.

_Ok, that was a bit… weird. Then again, so is everything else right now._

"Well, there are also some high explosive upgrades…"

I crossed my arms. "Just assume that anything else you might be hiding can be extracted via me hurting you badly. So with that in mind, anything else?"

"No! That's all! I swear!"

I stared at him hard for a few moments. Then I turned, not sure I'd be able to keep a straight face if I kept looking at his expression. "Then you should probably get out of here before more Geth show up."

He almost tripped over his own feet he took off so fast.

_That was easy._

I suddenly heard an unfamiliar noise. Then I recognized it as the electronic communication of the Geth.

"I think we have company." Shepard muttered, sliding her Sniper Rifle over her shoulder.

_I really should know better than to jinx myself like that. I'm really glad I have a shotgun. And super powers. And a good poker face. _


	5. Stop Stealing My KIlls!

There were only two Geth particularly close to us.

One got a bullet right in the eye, courtesy of Shepard. I blasted the other one with my shotgun. It stumbled back, damaged but not dead.

I aimed my gun again, but Shepard had already put a bullet through its head.

_Oh, that is not cool._

"Going to have to be faster than that Bourne." She said with a small smile.

"That can be arranged." I growled, switching my shotgun for my pistol. I was no combat expert, _Unless maybe all this made me into one somehow, which wouldn't be all that big a surprise, but_ any idiot knew that a Shotgun wasn't going to do much good at range.

"Then less talking and more shooting."

I didn't bother replying to that one. I just followed her down from the spaceport onto the platform leading to the cargo train, where a few dozen Geth were waiting for us.

I opened fire, but my pistol was too weak to take them out in a few shots. Their rifles tore through my shields, and I got a warning in my ear.

I got low behind cover, while Shepard did the same across from me.

She raised a hand to her earpiece. "Williams, Kaidan, where are you?"

Kaidan's voice came over a moment later. "We're still at the ramp. If we try getting to you, the Geth will be all over us."

I popped my head out for a quick look, drawing back after only a moment, bullets flying by. I closed my eyes, trying to focus on what I had seen.

_I never realized how much I took the camera that could see over objects for granted._

But my mind had fixed the positions of the Geth. And more importantly, I had seen something that might come in handy. "I've got an idea, but you'll have to be quick."

"What?" Kaidan asked.

"Just be ready to move" I activated my powers. "I think the Geth are about to have a big distraction."

"Bourne, what are you talking about?" Shepard asked.

I stood up, glowing blue, and the Geth opened fire. My shields were down after about five seconds.

_Man, these shields are crap. I need to upgrade soon. _ I thought as I raised my hand on instinct to protect myself.

I was suddenly surrounded by a thick field of energy. _Ok, Barrier. That'll come in handy. What's next? Am I going to Reave one of these morons? Or maybe send a Shockwave at them?_

I focused back on my original target. "Get ready to move." I said, lifting the explosive barrel I had seen.

"Now!" I threw the container into the Geth, and the resulting explosion took down the three that were closest. It also blocked the view of the Geth at the far end. I ducked behind my cover, barrier taking some serious hits. I let it fade as my shields recharged.

Kaidan and Ashley came sprinting down, firing as they did so. I stood up and started firing blindly at the Geth, distracting them.

Ashley joined me behind my wall while Kaidan crouched near Shepard.

"Thanks Bourne, we were pinned up there." He said.

"Fight isn't over yet." Ashley replied.

Shepard stood up and popped off a pair of headshots. _Damn, she's a lot better than I would have been. Though maybe that's because she's actually had military training. _

She cursed and ducked back as the gun overheated.

"Hey Shepard, you ever considered a gun that can get off more than two shots in a row?"

She shot me a glare.

"I'll just take that as a no."

She vaulted over her cover and ran at the Geth. I stared after her a moment before following her lead.

She raised the gun to her eye, while still moving and fired at something I couldn't even see. There was a large explosion.

"Oh, so first it's stealing my kills, now it's taking my ideas?"

She slid behind cover as the Geth regrouped. I was only a few seconds behind her. "Haven't you ever heard Bourne? All's fair in love and war."

"What, are you hitting on me or something?"

She shot me another glare. I was starting to wonder just how paragon she actually was. _Or, maybe she just has no sense of humor._

She suddenly took off on another run and shoot, and I once again found myself running after her.

I was amazed at how fast I was moving now. I wasn't exactly slow before, but it was starting to dawn on me just how much my body had changed. The Biotics were obviously new and I looked much different, but that was only the obvious stuff. I slid behind cover as my shields came perilously close to falling. Despite the pace I'd set, I was barely even breathing harder than normal.

I activated my powers, supplementing them with a Biotic barrier. As I popped my head up for a quick locations check, I realized my memory had been changed as well. _Well, beyond almost completely losing it. _It seemed to be photographic_. Or at least, that's what I would call being able to take one look at that arrangement and instantly memorize it._

I stood up and fired at where a Geth had been a moment before. It had moved slightly, and instead of the near miss it would have been had it not moved, I hit it right in the eye. It fired blindly, taking out one of its friends.

"Not bad Bourne." Shepard said as she took down another one.

"I've had a lot of practice killing these things today." I said. _No way am I admitting that was an accident. _

A Geth much bigger than the others, a Destroyer I thought, came rushing at us. It was suddenly knocked down as a ball of blue energy flew past me.

"Nice one Lieutenant." Ash commented as she joined me again.

"Man, we have got to stop meeting like this." I joked.

She just shot me a glare and started firing at the Geth.

_Not much of a conversationalist. _I shrugged and stood up. I saw a group of three and launched a singularity at them.

The other three destroyed them in a brutal cross fire.

They stayed that way, looking down the barrels of their weapons.

"I think we're clear commander." Kaidan said.

Shepard nodded, lowering her rifle. "Bourne, Williams, take the lead. Alenko and I will cover you from here."

Ashley grimaced but did as ordered.

I followed her, keeping my Biotics at the ready, and my eyes scanning the area ahead. I wasn't sure, but it didn't seem like there were enough dead Geth. I was hoping there weren't any more, but I knew how realistic that was.

I suddenly saw something moving up ahead, and I moved past Ashley, putting an arm up to stop her.

"What are you…"

"I saw something moving up there. I don't think we're done with these Geth yet."

She looked at me, and rolled her eyes. She pushed past me.

I put my hand on her shoulder, stopping her in her tracks. "Is there a problem here Williams?" My voice held an edge I would have never been able to put into it before. I had put up with a lot today, and I didn't have much patience left.

She turned, knocking my hand off. "Short version: I don't trust you."

I blinked. "Ok, you get points for honesty." I crossed my arms. "But in case you forgot, I'm on your side."

"No, you're just against the Geth. You aren't Alliance, and I'm not going to be all that trusting of a former Mercenary."

"Emphasis on former." _I really should have known that saying that was a bad idea._

"Says you. For all we know, you could be with these things."

I opened my mouth, but then everything seemed to slow down as my adrenaline kicked in. Over her shoulder, I saw a rocket headed right at us.

I tackled her to the ground, the rocket passing through where she'd been only a few seconds before.

Some instinct made me roll over her and land in a crouch.

The Geth, three of them, had been sorely hurt by the loss of their friends. With so few left to network with, they'd be much slower to react.

_God, never thought all that nerd knowledge would be good for something. _

Still in motion, my hand grabbed the knife from my boot as I stood up, and I flung it at one of the Geth.

Before it even hit, I was already drawing my shoulder blade and throwing it at its friend.

The first knife went right through one's head, and the second hit another in the chest. Both fell, leaving just one alive. _And of course, it's the one with the rocket launcher. Way to go._

It raised its rocket launcher. My guns had been knocked off by that tackle and roll, so I fell back to basics.

I activated my powers, not sure what I was doing, and clapped. _Way to go Bourne. This is how you're going to die, looking like you're applauding the-_

Then a ball of energy jumped from the ends of my hands and went flying at the Geth. _- thing that's going to kill you. _

It didn't throw it back; it tore the thing's head off. It just stood there a moment, headless, and still aimed at me, then just toppled over. _Well, I stand corrected. Thankfully._

I stared at my still glowing hands. _Damn, I gotta be careful where I point these things._

I looked back at Ashley, who was just getting off the ground. It occurred to me just how fast it had all happened.

"Still think I'm on their side?" I asked coldly as I brought my guns back to me. A quick check showed that they were undamaged, and I stored my shotgun on my back, keeping my pistol at the ready.

I walked away before Ashley could reply.

* * *

Raptor Shepard had been in the Alliance Military since she was 19 years of age. She had served with more than a few Biotics, but this Bourne guy seemed to outclass almost all of them.

Having Biotics didn't necessarily make them bad soldiers, but a Biotic that was both proficient with his powers and a crack shot with weapons was the exception rather than the rule. Bourne seemed to be that exception.

She walked forward, Sniper Rifle resting in the crook of her arm like always. It was her best weapon, bar none, and unless it was absolutely required, she almost never switched.

But when she did, she was just as accurate a shot.

Bourne grunted as he pulled one of his knives out of a Geth corpse. He looked at it, then wiped off the synthetic blood on his shoulder before storing the knife in its sheath.

"You're pretty good with those things." Shepard commented as she walked up behind him.

Somehow, he had known she was approaching. "You aren't too bad with that Rifle yourself." He chuckled. "Well, when you aren't stealing my kills that is."

Shepard fought back the sharp retort she would have had for someone serving under her. She had to remind herself that this man was doing this because he wanted to, not because he had to.

She gestured to the Geth on the ground "I didn't kill these three for you did I?"

He shrugged. "Good point." His face seemed abnormally devoid of emotion, but Shepard could tell it was training and habit, not just his nature. She'd met a lot of people in the military that were the latter.

"No offense Commander, but maybe we should get going?" Kaidan asked mildly.

It was always frustrating when her fellow soldiers were the type that idolized her. It was usually for the wrong reason. She was just another soldier, she didn't deserve preferential treatment. Maybe she was a better sniper than most, but still… She shook her head, cutting off that line of thought. "Yeah, good idea."

"What, you don't want to stay here and watch all this great scenery? I mean, just look at all the Geth blood everywhere." Bourne said sarcastically.

Shepard glared at him. He met her gaze evenly, something most people weren't able to do. Between the force of her glare and her glowing purple eyes, it usually made them at least a little bit uncomfortable.

But his own eyes glowed slightly as well, and Shepard wondered just who this man was. He was as good a Biotic as most in the Alliance- if not better- he clearly knew his way around a battlefield, and he seemed to be in pretty good shape if he could keep up with her.

"I'll just take that as a no, you don't want to stay here." He said after a moment.

"Not really, no." Shepard said in a low, dangerous voice.

To his credit, Bourne was smart enough to shut up after that. Kaidan and Williams joined them on the cargo train, and it rolled off towards the other port.

"So, I don't suppose anyone has a plan for when we get there?" Bourne said, leaning back on the rail.

"Kill anything that isn't Organic." Ashley answered.

"What, you aren't worried I'm helping them?"

The gunnery chief glared at him. "I'm sorry, isn't our main theory that a Turian is helping them? As in-"

"That's a turn around. Before you seemed scandalized at the very idea of one Turian killing another."

Shepard stepped between them. "Both of you, knock it off."

Bourne glared, but he backed down.

"We have bigger issues right now. I'd like to find that Beacon before the Geth steal it and take it to god knows where."

"No offense, but I feel like a Geth attack actually is a bit of an issue."

"I didn't say it wasn't, I said that the Beacon is a bigger issue." Shepard said, patience rapidly fading.

He shrugged. "Fair point." He lowered his voice, and Shepard didn't think she was meant to hear what was said next. "But you'll forgive me if my priorities might be a bit different."

That sounded a bit suspicious, but Shepard really doubted Ashley's suggestion. Especially after he saved her.

She didn't confront him about it though. He looked down at his feet, face still unreadable. He looked like he was thinking about something.

Shepard was content to wait, and leaned back against her own side of the train.

The rest of the ride passed in silence, the conversation more or less killed entirely.

Eventually, the train slid into the port.

Bourne pulled out his shotgun. "What do you think the odds are that there won't be any Geth here?"

Shepard's attention was brought to a device nearby. "Well, I'd say pretty slim."

He followed her Gaze. "Uh, is that-"

"A demolition charge? Yeah." Kaidan replied.

"Get on disarming it. We'll cover you." Shepard said to the Sentinel, rifle already up, eyes already scanning for enemies.

"I don't suppose we might be lucky enough that this is the only one?" Bourne said, clearly not serious.

Kaidan stood back up, Omni-tool scanning the area. "Negative, there are three others."

"That figures." Bourne muttered. "I suggest we disarm them before we get all blown up."

"You think?"

Bourne switched for his pistol, glowing Biotically. "How's this for a plan: You take care of that, rest of us take care of the Geth?"

Shepard had already lined up a shot on an unsuspecting Synthetic. "If you think you can keep up Bourne."

He glanced at his gun, then put it away. "I think I'm going to need to borrow that." He said, hand glowing Biotically.

Kaidan's assault rifle flew off his back into Bourne's hands.

He shouldered it, testing it. "Yeah, I think this might work better at this range."

He ran up the ramp to the upper level as Kaidan turned from the bomb. The Sentinel stared at his retreating back. "I'm beginning to wonder if it was such a good idea to let him come along."

There was the unmistakable sound of gunfire, then they saw a Geth, glowing blue, falling from the upper level to the ground below.

"Ask the Geth if it was a good idea." Shepard commented as she sprinted after Bourne, firing at any Geth heads she could see.

The other two weren't far behind her.

"You know Bourne, you're a real piece of work." Kaidan commented.

"Thanks." He replied, activating his powers and sending a singularity into the Geth. "Now, if you'd be so kind as to keep the bombs from blowing us all sky high, I'd appreciate that."

The Lieutenant sprinted to the nearest Bomb, covered by the other three.

"You know Bourne, if it weren't for one thing, you might do pretty good in the alliance." Shepard said as she slid to cover next to him.

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"You don't know when to keep your damn mouth shut."

**Alright, I'm hoping my audience found this alright. So, like I said, the original version will no longer be updated. I'll be posting new chapters here instead, and giving updates if needed.  
**

**It seemed like a more popular decision, and honestly it just seemed easier than uploading all 50 plus rewritten chapters at once in the original.**

**So, I guess I'll see you guys monday.**


	6. The Beacon

"One more down" Shepard heard Williams yell. Shepard ducked behind cover as bullets flew by, letting her gun cool off. She wondered how the Geth were able to fire so near constantly.

_They must have found a way to reduce overheating somehow_.

She and Ashley had to watch their rates of fire, or their weapons would overheat and become useless. Shepard cursed herself for not bringing a better rifle, but she hadn't expected such heavy opposition.

Bourne, however, had no such problems. Next to Shepard and Ashley, he was sending singularities into them, giving the two soldiers plenty of opportunities to take them down.

And he wasn't letting them do all the work either. He wasn't half bad with Kaidan's assault rifle, shooting anything he wasn't destroying with his Biotics.

_He's better than most Biotics._ Shepard thought again as she watched him pull a pair of geth off the platform to their deaths.

"Ok, am I the only one getting Bored?" Bourne asked as he ducked behind cover, gun close to overheating.

Shepard shot him a look of disbelief. "You're making jokes while-"

"I figure it's better than panicking and screaming. Unless you think that would help."

"It's a good thing you're actually helping, or I might let you do that to distract them. Or more specifically, so you could be bait."

"Wow, tough crowd." He muttered as he stood back up and pulled another two Geth off the platform into empty space.

"Alright commander, only one charge left, down there." Alenko broke in. Shepard looked and saw him pointing to the far end of the port.

"There's a lot of Geth between you and it."

The Sentinel ducked behind cover as the Geth opened fire. "I've noticed. We need to deal with them quickly."

"Hey, how much do you think those crates weigh?" Bourne asked suddenly.

"What?"

"Those big shipping crates? Like the one you're taking cover behind right now?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Because, if they're empty, they might be useful as a weapon."

"A weapon?" Shepard broke in. "How?"

"Give me some covering fire so I can get over there, and I'd be happy to show you."

She considered it a moment, wondering if she should trust him. It didn't make any sort of logical sense, but her gut said that he knew what he was doing.

"Williams, switch to assault rifle and be ready to fire on my mark."

The gunnery chief nodded and switched guns. Shepard looked at her own Sniper Rifle and grimaced as she switched.

"Bourne, get ready."

"Just give me some sort of signal so I know-"

Shepard stood up and threw one of her now improved grenades at a group of them, then took aim. Williams was only a second slower in opening fire.

"Alright, that works."

Keeping low, Bourne ran across the bridge to the crates.

The second he was clear, the two marines ducked back down.

"So what's your plan Bourne?"

He didn't reply, but she saw him storing his weapon on his back.

"Alenko, however much you can lighten this thing, do it."

Turning to face the crate, he glowed with the telltale sign of biotic abilities. Shepard realized what he was planning a half second after his fellow Biotic did. Kaidan managed to lift the crate a few inches off the ground. Bourne added his own abilities, further lightening it.

Bourne thrust his arms forward, and the crate went flying forward, flattening everything it hit.

_Have to give him credit: that was a good idea. Unorthodox, but effective._

Only three geth were still functional after being hit with the flying crate and the reanimated colonists had been utterly demolished.

"I think that did the trick." Raptor said with a slight smile. "Alenko, get to that detonation charge and take care of it. Bourne, cover his back. Williams and I will keep them off of you."

Shepard and Ashley made short work of the remaining Geth as the two Biotics moved forward, pistols at the ready.

Kaidan knelt in front of the demolition charge, activating his Omni-tool to interface with the control.

Bourne collapsed his pistol and stored it; Shepard noticed it was his right hip he stored it on.  
Any military operative- or most anybody else who'd carry a pistol- stored it on the left thigh, where they could reach over and grab it.

She shrugged and started walking over to them, flanked by Ashley. "We clear Bourne?"

He shook his head, pulling his shotgun from his waist. "Murphy's law says there's still a few on the platform down there."

Shepard walked to the railing, looking over the area. She could see the green glowing beacon, but there weren't any Geth in sight.

She turned back to the Biotic. "I don't see anything, but nothing wrong with being cautious." She swung her sniper rifle over her shoulder, feeling the familiar weight. "Let's move in. Just keep an eye open."

He nodded. "Yeah, I'd expect them to have left at least a few units back here."

"Maybe they did at first. But we took out quite a few of them, even before you pulled your little trick." She gestured to the crate, which had been dented to the point of almost being unrecognizable.

He glanced at the beacon. "Maybe."

* * *

Shepard had a point about us tearing up a lot of Geth, but it still didn't feel right. I didn't argue further though. If I did, she'd want to why I thought there'd be more Geth. _And "because that's how it happened in the game" wouldn't exactly be a great argument. _

_I guess it doesn't matter too much though. There can't be more than half a dozen at most. And the three of them could tear through a group that size without problem. Even without my help. I have no idea how I ended up with the super powers, but they're really coming in handy so far. _

I glanced at the beacon again, putting the thought aside. _That beacon is what's going to start all of this off. It'll put the vision in Shepard's head, warn her of the Reapers. _

As we moved down on the platform, I looked around warily. _So I should probably make sure that if there is another Geth around here, it doesn't do something to that beacon. Everything depends on it. And if something happens to Shepard… god, I don't even know where to start. But nothing about it would be good. _

"Alright, let's make sure we don't have any more surprises waiting for us here." Shepard's voice interrupted my thoughts. "Bourne, Williams, take west. Kaidan, you and I will take east."

I nodded assent, moving to the far side. Ashley flanked me, Assault Rifle ready for anything.

I fought the urge to look back at the beacon. _Not with possible enemies still here. And it would really be suspicious, and their trust in me is already minimal. _

_That, and I've apparently memorized the damn thing._ It occurred to me for the first time that while I didn't remember anything about my life, I did remember pretty much anything and everything I knew about Mass Effect.

Which meant that if thing went the way they should've, then as soon as we were clear, Shepard would call the Normandy for an update, and one of the marines would get too close to the beacon, getting drawn in.

_Then Shepard pulls them out of the fire, gets the vision, gets knocked out for a few hours, and then we… Wait, that might be a problem. We. At this point, I'm not really part of them. I'm helping them , but that won't get me onboard the Normandy. Not on its own. _

_So the question is, what will? _ _I need a plan… _That time, I wasn't able to keep my gaze from straying to the beacon. And the pair of Geth that had snuck up on me.

I put up a barrier on instinct, just in time. I could see the pellets from their guns flying at my face, bouncing off my barrier. It terrified me to know I'd been so close to death, but it also caused my combat instincts to kick in.

The duel blasts took down my barrier, but I'd I was already firing a couple blasts of my own, taking down their shields.

I dropped my now overheated gun, biotics flaring around my hands. I punched the closer Geth in the head, knocking it almost clean off. It stood a moment longer, then fell to the ground, head held on by a few scraps of metal.

Its still active friend fired another blast at me, dropping my shields and leaving me vulnerable as well.

Still glowing with power, I ripped the shotgun from its grasp, throwing it to the other side of the platform.

The synthetic stood still, processing the new development; I didn't give it the chance to act.

I grabbed it by the arms, blue energy surrounding us both. Without even thinking, I pulled the arms away from each other and literally ripped the Geth in two.

I dropped the two halves, breathing hard from the exertion. _Well, that's one heckoffa wakeup call. _ I saw my shotgun on the ground and pulled it to my outstretched hand.

A noise behind me made me spin around, gun up and aimed. I lowered it as I saw it was Shepard. "Geez , you want to not do that? Or did you not see what happened to the last guys that tried getting the drop on me?"

She looked at the ripped apart corpses. "You don't do subtle, do you?"

I glanced around the area one more time before storing my shotgun. "What, You didn't figure that out when I used the crate as a battering ram?"

She glared at me.

"Besides, you making someone's head explode from a distance isn't exactly subtle either."

She shrugged. "Good point." Her rifle swung up and I rolled to the side as she fired.

My pistol flew into my hand as I moved, and I aimed it at her head. "What the hell are you-" I cut the sentence off as I saw a now headless Geth fall to the ground.

"For Christ sakes." I swore as I lowered my gun. "Will you knock that off?"

She just smiled wryly and stored her gun. "Maybe."

She turned away from me to look at the beacon, walking over to it.

"Hmph, Women." I angrily shoved my pistol back onto my hip.

"Looks like the Commander keeps showing you up." Ashley commented from behind me.

I'd almost forgotten she was there. "Laugh it up Williams." I snapped, fighting back a stronger response.

_Well, that isn't going to help me get on her good side and therefore on the ship. I'm fairly good at the whole killing Geth thing, but that might not be enough. I need a plan, and quickly. _

I walked back over to the beacon. _Can't be that long before Ashley or Kaidan will end up getting sucked into that thing. _I didn't get too close to the device, wary of being sucked in myself.

_Wait a minute… They might not bring me as is, but they wouldn't just leave me here if I was knocked out… this is either a really great idea, or the dumbest idea in history. ]  
_

Shepard activated her radio, and I could hear talking to the Ship. _But, in the absence of other ideas… just have to time it right. _

"Can you believe this? A working Prothean Beacon?" Kaidan asked as he walked towards it. _This is it. Any second now one of them will get too close. _

"It wasn't doing anything like that when they dug it up." Ashley replied, referring to the green aura surrounding it. "What do you think it's-" She stopped as it glowed brighter. She started being drawn into it. Digging her feet in did no good; she continued to move.

I sprinted towards her, already seeing Shepard in motion. We arrived at almost the same time. I pushed and Shepard pulled, and the Gunnery Chief was tossed away from it.

Shepard and I were caught in its grasp instead, and it pulled us into the air. _Ok, good news- it worked. Bad news- this is going to hurt. A lot.  
_

All other sensations and thoughts were suddenly wiped out as images flashed through my head. They were chaotic and disjointed; if I hadn't seen the image dozens of times, I'd have no idea what it meant. As it was, I was disoriented and felt like I was drunker than I'd ever been.

My sight suddenly returned, and I saw energy collecting in one central point, readying itself to explode.

_Worse news, this is going to hurt even more. _The green energy exploded outward, throwing Shepard and I onto the ground.

The wind was knocked out of me, and for a moment I didn't realize I was still conscious.

"Bourne! Shepard!" Ashley ran towards us.

I slowly pushed myself to my knees. "And that is why you don't go near glowing alien tech if you don't know what it does." I said, then collapsed again, barely holding myself off the ground.

"Williams, looks like Shepard's out cold." Kaidan said, kneeling next to the commander.

I slowly got back up, head still ringing. As I saw Shepard lying on the ground, unconscious, I wondered why the same thing hadn't happened to me.

I rubbed the back of my head, where I already had had a bump. "Yeah, that was one heck of an explosion. Wonder why she got hit worse though?" I was still dazed, or I wouldn't have said it aloud.

"It looked like you threw up a barrier to shield yourself." Kaidan said distractedly.

_Ok, so that did not go like I'd planned. _ "Can you contact your ship?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I'll tell them to have the med bay ready." He glanced at the destroyed beacon, then back to me. "How bad are you hurt?"

"Hit the ground pretty hard, but I'm fine."

He gestured to Ashley. "Can you help the chief carry her?"

I nodded, sensing a way to get at least closer to the Normandy. I threw one of Shepard's arms over my shoulder, while Ashley did the same on the other side.

"Glad you're good for something Bourne." She commented as we started moving.

"Says the one that turned that thing on in the first place."

She didn't say anything, but I saw her expression change under her helmet.

"...Alright, maybe that was a low blow."

"Let's just get her onto the ship."

I nodded, and became silent.

But my mind was racing. Helping them bring Shepard aboard might help me get aboard, but that didn't mean it'd allow me to stay.

_Anderson's the one I really need to convince. I have a name now, but I don't have a past. I need to figure that out. _

I thought about what I knew about this place, and what I knew about Anderson. Between novels, comics, the wikia, and the games, I knew a lot.

_Alright, so the story needs to end with my ship crashing. Heck, I can probably find the wreck again if I want; I've got memory like a drell or something now. But thankfully without the poetry._

_Argh, Focus! You need a beginning to your story Mr. "Jason Bourne." _ _How did you become a mercenary? Who trained you with the Biotics? What's with the Omega on your chest? Why do you…_

I was struck by a thought, and I glanced down at the red symbol. _Hmm, maybe I do have a plan. Of sorts.  
_

_Depending on the definition of plan I use._

* * *

**You know, I was going to wait until Monday to add another chapter. But you guys changed my mind, with over 50 of you adding this to favorites in one day, and all the positive feedback.  
**

**I know it means that the sequel will take a little longer, but trust me, It'll be worth the wait.  
**

**Anyway, see you next week, and enjoy your weekend. I'm going to get back to writing. It's going a lot faster now, so I may end up posting two chapters next week, depending on how my backlog holds up.**


	7. Anderson

I grunted as we got to the base of a particularly steep hill. _Well, that'll be fun to climb. Not. _"How much farther is it?" I asked.

"The Normandy landed on the other side of the hill." Kaidan answered. "Dr. Chakwas and the Captain should be waiting for us."

"Good. Shepard's not exactly getting lighter." I glanced at the unconscious commander. She was completely motionless. If I didn't know better, I'd wonder if she was even still alive.

We'd been carrying her for about half an hour, and she hadn't so much as twitched.

And it wasn't easy on either of us.

"You weren't fighting all day before this." Ashley snapped. "Quit complaining."

"Hey, the Biotics aren't exactly energy conservative either." I shot back as we started up the hill.

"Maybe we should just focus on getting there?" Kaidan said, sounding vaguely like it was an order.

It was enough to get Ashley to be quiet, so I stopped talking as well, not wanting to further aggravate her.

I doubted that being on her bad side would be enough to keep them off the Normandy, but it certainly wouldn't help matters.

I could see Anderson pacing as we reached the top of the hill. I'd only heard Kaidan's side of their conversation, but I could guess the reason the Captain was pacing.

_I know as much about Saren as he does, more in fact. That gives me a motive to want to help. As long as he buys the other part of the story… _ I'd given it a lot of thought on the way over here, once I was able to calm down and think more clearly. I had it pretty detailed, so I could call upon it if I needed, though I was hoping I would be able to stay nice and vague.

_Why did I have to say I was a merc? _I cursed. My mistake limited my options severely.

_Nothing I can do about it now though. _

_And on the bright side, if this goes wrong… ok, I thought there was a bright side, but now I can't think of one. _

I shook my head as we went down the hill. _Ok, maybe the bright side is that if they do catch me in a lie and try to arrest me or something, I'd be able to fend off four people. Unless they bring more out from the ship, in which case my chances go down quickly… damn it, this was supposed to be the bright side!_

I forced the thought down with some effort. Anderson had already seen us anyway, and was waving us down.

I glanced over at Ashley. "I know that military protocol is important and all that, but if you drop Shepard because you salute …"

She looked over at me, looking like she was fighting a smile. "Noted."

We reached the bottom of the hill and I noticed the Normandy for the first time. _Wow, that is a lot bigger in real life. And this is the smaller version. _

I couldn't help being impressed, but it wore off more quickly than I'd expected. _Probably because I've seen the thing about a million times before. _

Alenko sped up his pace, taking point. I knew he was the highest ranking of the three of us, so I accepted it.

Nearly running into him when he stopped short to salute, on the other hand, tempted me to put him in stasis for a while.

"Captain Anderson."

"At ease Lieutenant." He said, returning the salute. "Has there been any change?"

"It feels like gravity is affecting her more now." I deadpanned.

He only then seemed to notice the two of us carrying Shepard.

"You must be the mercenary Alenko mentioned."

My unearned skills weren't enough to keep me from glaring at him. "Ex-mercenary." I forced myself to compose my face. "Jason Bourne. I'd offer to shake your hand, but mine are a bit full at the moment."

I couldn't tell what he was thinking as he looked at me. "We should get her to the medbay."

The airlock opened, deploying a ramp up to the ship. _Ok, I should be able to get in now as long as-_

"I can take her from here Bourne." Kaidan said.

_That doesn't happen. Crap. _My mind raced, looking for a solution as the ramp slid down to the ground, stopping with a loud thud.

I saw the Sentinel wince from the corner of my eye as the noise hit him. _Wait a minute…_ _L2, migraines that leave him sensitive to light and sound… _

"Alright. Williams, can you handle her by yourself for a second?"

She moved so she was holding Shepard up by both shoulders, and I let go of my side. _Now, I just have to make this look like an accident._

"Oh, that reminds me. I never did give you these back." I disconnected his shotgun from my back, keeping it collapsed so it would be apparent I wasn't attacking. _Not with bullets anyway. _

I swung it around so he could grab it. As I did so, I used the shining metal to reflect the setting sun right into his eyes.

The effect was that he clutched at his forehead, nearly doubling over. I dropped the gun to my side, acting surprised, and guessing the noise would also affect him. _Wow, that worked better than I thought. _

Guilt and satisfaction battled for dominance. "You ok Alenko?" I asked, adding just enough guilt to make it seem convincing.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He answered in a way that meant the opposite was true.

I could see Dr. Chakwas shaking her head. "Another migraine Alenko?"

He hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah, I guess the Biotics earlier must've made it worse."

"L2?" I asked 'innocently', already knowing the answer.

"Yeah."

"Well Lieutenant, maybe you should let-" Chakwas stopped short. "I'm sorry, I don't think I caught your name."

"It's Bourne. And yeah, I got it." I motioned for Ashley to move over so I could help her again. "But seriously, this armor is really freaking heavy."

"Are you calling the commander-"

"I'm blaming the armor. I happen to enjoy being able to walk."

* * *

I leaned against the wall, arms crossed as Chakwas looked over Shepard.

Anderson and the two marines were there as well. Kaidan was looking at the commander worriedly, as were the other two.

But while Alenko's gaze never wavered, Anderson and Ashley kept returning their eyes to me.

At the captain's request, I'd given him my pistol and knives, along with returning Kaidan's weapons. But from their faces, it was clear I still looked threatening. _Probably soaked in along with Iron's powers. Or maybe it's because I have said Biotic powers. Or maybe it's the armor. _

_Hell, maybe I have something caught in my teeth, I don't know. _

I hadn't had a chance to talk to the captain yet, which worried me a bit. Having him kick me off the ship would be the worst case scenario. _Just play it by ear. I have a past worked out now; I just need to be careful to not give too much. I need them to trust me, not know every last detail of my fake life._

Chakwas finished her examination and turned to the captain. "I can't find anything physically wrong with her. She has some abnormal brain activity though, and her rapid eye movement indicates intense dreaming."

"So in other words, you have no idea what happened?" I commented.

She gave me a sideways glare before looking back at Anderson. "I heard bits of what happened, but the full story might help."

"That prothean beacon must've had some sort of security field, or maybe it was a malfunction. Short version, it exploded, knocked Shepard out, and knocked me on my ass."

The captain looked at me. "How exactly did you get involved anyway?"

"To make a long story short: I wanted a new start, so I figured I'd try Eden Prime. Isolated, small, seemed like a good place. But the Geth had other ideas, and while I was trying not to get killed by them, I ran into these three."

I shrugged. "I'd heard a few rumors about a prothean beacon being uncovered here. When I got them to admit they were here to retrieve it, I figured they could use some help."  
_And here's the part that gets Anderson to let me stay. _"And when I heard Saren's name thrown around-"

Like clockwork, Anderson held up a hand to stop me. "What do you know about Saren?"

"He's a Spectre, hates humans, and given recent events, apparently has an army of Geth." I shrugged again. "I knew he had a bad reputation, but I'd _normally_ have dismissed it."

"But you didn't?" Anderson guessed from my tone.

"It seems a bit farfetched that the guy who witnessed it could just pull out a name of a Spectre. And throw in the physical description… there's a point where skepticism turns into just being a moron."

Ashley looked at me oddly. "And how exactly does a mercenary know all that?"

"First off, it's _ex-mercenary, _thank you. As for how I know… let's just say Saren is a rather infamous name in a lot of places. Criminals hate and fear him-for obvious reasons- but he's also got a rep among average citizens. He's not above killing someone to erase a trail."

The Captain looked away, lost in thought. "That certainly does describe him. He once told me that he never kills without a reason."

"But that he can always find a reason to kill someone?"

He looked back at me. "More or less. He's a cold hearted bastard for sure. But he's one of the Council's top agents; they aren't going to be happy to hear an accusation like that."

I waited for him to say more.

"If you could give your account, it might help." _That's what I was hoping to hear. _

I raised an eyebrow, acting confused; in reality, things were going according to plan. "No offense, but I don't really see how the word of an ex-merc will really help."

He nodded. "You're right. It won't. But…"

"If I was an alliance soldier, they might give my words some more credit?"

"Excuse me?" Ashley sounded absolutely scandalized.

"Did I stutter Williams?" I said with a slight smile. I let my face return to its emotionless state as I turned back to the Captain. "That's actually what my plans- if they could even be called that- were aiming towards. You know, before my shuttle got shot down and everything."

"What happened to 'I came here because it was quiet and isolated?'" Ashley pointed out.

_There's my chance. Just a hint. _ "I said I wanted a new start, not a new identity. I figured whatever action I'd find here would still be better than… well you get the point. Besides-" I snapped my fingers, letting blue energy swirl around them. "It's one of the few ways I can use the Biotics and not get a mob after me."

Kaidan nodded in understanding. "That makes sense. And you certainly know how to use them."

"Thanks. I might not be formally trained the way you guys are, but it does give me an edge over some raw recruit. " I chuckled. "And to be frank, there's also that 'biotics get a huge signing bonus' appeal."

"Where exactly did you get your training then?" Anderson asked. _Oh come on, nobody thought that was funny?_

I shook my head. "Not to be rude captain, but do you tell everyone you meet every detail of your past?"

His face hardened.

"Look, I'll admit I'm not exactly a saint, and there are reasons that I wanted a new life. But you also need to realize I'm not just going to share those reasons with a total stranger. No offense."

"Point taken." He said after a moment.

"Thank you." I said sincerely. _Because if that little hint caused such a big reaction, I may need to rethink that story of mine. _

"And based on what I heard from Lt. Alenko, you seem to know your way around a battlefield."

I nodded hesitantly, trying not to get my hopes up, but not fully succeeding.

He glanced at Shepard. _Probably also thinking about how I've helped her already._

He held out his hand. "Welcome to the Normandy Operations Chief Bourne."

I shook it, feeling relieved that my act had worked. Though as I saw Ashley looking at me from the corner of my eye, I got the sense she wasn't happy about it. I realized a moment later that it was because I was now a rank above her. _Only by one rank, but nonetheless… what the heck happened there? Did he just mispeak? No, he knows what he said... question is why he said it. _ _I mean, I wasn't expecting to be a Commander, but even Master Chief is lower ranking than me. _

I filed away the thought for later. "So then, can I have my weapons back now?"

The captain nodded. "Come on, I'll show you where the lockers are, and then we can take care of the paper work and get you squared away."

He motioned to Ashley. "And if you're interested Williams, I can get you transferred here as well. I looked at your service record, and we'd be happy to have you."

She snapped off a salute. "It'd be an honor sir." She let her arm drop. "And it's not like there's anything left for me on Eden Prime now."

I kept a straight face and pretended that I hadn't heard, though I felt more than a little sympathy for her. I didn't say anything though. I wouldn't be able to comfort her, and I doubted she'd want it even if I could.

_Well, I'm on the Normandy now, and I'm not just another petty officer, so that's mission accomplished I guess. _

As we left the medbay and headed into the elevator, I glanced at the rows of sleeper pods.

_Now for my next mission: getting done with all this so I can get some sleep before Shepard wakes up._

* * *

**Alright, I just wanted to thank you readers that actually reading this and not just giving me crap about making you wait for the sequel.  
**

**Anyway, Sayonara.**


	8. Killing Time on the Normandy

An incessant beeping in my ear woke me up, and it took me a moment to realize where I was. As I looked at the glowing orange orb hovering over my hand, it came back to me. _Oh, yeah._ I touched the orb, which expanded into my Omni-tool, and I shut off the alarm. _I'm in a video game. Now I remember. _

I shook my head. _Yeah, that's a perfectly sane and normal thought. On opposite day. _

I pushed open the sleeper pod, stretching out as I left the cramped space. _Ok, not that I really remember, but I think I preferred an actual bed. _

I let out a bitter chuckle. _Yeah, good luck with that one Bourne. Captain's cabin is for the Captain, or by tomorrow, Shepard. _

I grabbed my pistol from the storage area attached to the pod and clamped it onto my thigh. I wasn't paranoid enough to sleep with the thing, but I still wanted to carry it otherwise. Biotics were good, but I wasn't sure they were reliable enough to discard a gun. _Better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it. _

I brought up my Omni-tool to check the time as I headed for the mess. _Wow, I can't believe it's only been 12 hours since I ended up here. _ So much had happened, it boggled the mind. _And since Shepard ought to wake up 15 hours after the beacon, I still have a couple hours left to kill. _

I grabbed a ration pack and sat down at an empty table. _Not that there's many people here. _ There was only two other people within site, an engineer almost too absorbed reading a datapad to remember to eat, and Kaidan was doing something at his terminal.

It didn't really surprise me though, since the ship had a skeleton crew. During the tour Anderson had given Ashley and I, the ship had seemed relatively empty.

_Or maybe it's because I'm here. _I hadn't shown it, but I'd noticed most of the crewmembers staring at me as the three of us walked around the ship. I'd been paying minimal attention to Anderson, since I already knew most of the ship from the game, preferring to look around for myself. Most of the people stared at me until they realized I was aware of their scrutiny and hurriedly turned back to their work station.

It was hard to say what drew their eyes most. It might have been my armor, the deadly aura I'd inherited from Iron, or a million other things. _Maybe it's because I was new? _I wondered as I ate.

But I dismissed the idea after a moment; they'd stared far more at me than they had at Ashley. And even after I'd stored my armor in the locker in the storage room, the looks had continued.

_Hmm, here's an idea. Maybe it's because you chose the cover story of being a mercenary. _I didn't see any way I could've avoided it, but it still was irritating. _They take one look at me and assume I'll kill them if they look at me funny. _ _Then again, considering how much I look like the guy that tried to do pretty much just that…_

I shook the thought away. Iron was evil and insane because I wanted him to be. I was nothing like him. But a small voice at the back of my head said otherwise, reminding me how I had treated that dockworker only a few hours back.

_I'd do it again in a second if I had to. Nothing says I like doing it, I just am willing to do what it takes. _ I didn't know who I was trying to fool.

_Iron was just a character from a video game. _ I though furiously. But my eyes flickered to Kaidan without thinking.

_Isn't everyone here? Ashley, Chakwas, Anderson, Shepard, none of them should exist. And yet, I know that they're as real as I am. _

Images of strait jackets once again flooded through my mind. But if this was just some delusion, then I should still have had my memories. Even if it was some form of split identity, I should still have remembered something.

I reached for my cup without looking at it, and knocked it off the table. Or I would have, if I hadn't activated my biotics to stop it from falling more than a few inches. I slowly raised it back onto the table as I stared at it. The instinct with which I'd done it surprised me, considering my hesitation earlier. _Maybe it has something to do with how I got them? Or maybe… Argh, I hate not knowing! _

I glanced again at my Omni-tool for the time. _Shepard shouldn't wake up for another couple of hours, so… Yesterday- or maybe it was earlier today, I don't know how that works on the ship- during the tour it took about 20 minutes to get from the mess to the training room, so… _I did some quick estimates, then got up and headed for the elevator. _So I have some time to figure out just how good I am. _

_Or how bad I am, but no reason to be pessimistic. _

As I stepped into the machine though, I did have one slightly pessimistic thought. _I really hope this thing is faster than in the game. _

* * *

As it turned out, it took two full minutes to get down to the storage room. _You'd think on a ship as advanced as this one… _

I shook my head as I went over to grab my weapons and armor from my locker. I'd noticed something odd about the lockers before, but hadn't been able to place it. It suddenly hit me. _There's seven lockers now, not just six like in the game. _It was almost as if the universe had been changed just by my being here.

That actually gave me pause. _Despite my being here, nothing much has changed. I mean, I got the vision like Shepard did, and I'm on the Normandy, but that's about it. But that makes no sense. I mean, one guy gone in "It's a wonderful life" and look how much that messed things up. Seems like adding a person would have the same sort of affect. _

_Then again, I deliberately have tried not to change anything. _I felt a pang of guilt again over Nihlus' death. _But… maybe I wouldn't have been able to change it anyway. If the beacon and everything still happened normally… when I grabbed Ashley to pull her out of the thing, I might've just as easily been the only one to get the vision. And I could've been knocked out just like Shepard. _

_But… Shepard will firmly know that the reapers are real as well as I do. That gives us a common drive, and maybe a reason to trust me. And then there's the rank. Not that I'm complaining, but it's still a bit odd. I mean, right off the back? And nobody really batted an eye. _

_It's something to keep an eye on at least. _

I reached my locker, and popped it open.

I saw a flash of motion to my right, and my hand instinctively dropped to my gun as I turned to it.

Ashley was staring at me in surprise, and she had her hand wrapped around one of the guns on the table.

We stayed that way a moment.

"Um, at ease?" I said, trying to break the tension that hung in the air.

She took her hand off the gun, and I moved my hand away from mine. "Sorry. I guess I'm just a bit jumpy after…"

"I'm not surprised." I shrugged as I turned to my gear. My armor took up little room in the locker, being semi collapsible like the guns.

"Yeah… you ought to start making some noise when you walk."

I didn't stop what I was doing, but I rolled her words over in my mind a moment. _She didn't hear my walking up to her? _

I motioned to the guns. "Maybe you were just absorbed in your work." I chuckled. "Is it ironic that the gunnery chief seems to be in charge of-"

"With all due respect sir, don't you need to be somewhere else?" She said, turning back to the weapons.

_Why is that whenever someone says with all due respect… _I had to chuckle again as I slid my guns onto my back. It suddenly occurred to me that they weren't really my guns; I had just never given Alenko back his guns.

I pulled them off my back, looking them over. They were pretty low quality guns on a closer inspection. Back when there were Geth shooting at me, I wasn't able to be picky. _But at the moment…_

"Actually, I do need to talk to Alenko about giving him these guns back. I think the captain just handed me back whatever he took."

She shrugged. "Or he can just get new guns next time we go out. Sentinels tend to lose them pretty often."

I puzzled over that for a minute. "I'm not really sure what you mean by that."

She sighed. "You know, maybe you should read the Alliance handbook sometime."

_That actually isn't a bad idea. Especially since I'd only need to read it once. _"Well, since I hardly have time to digest a whole book right now…"

"Sentinels are more of a support role most of the time, since they can use both tech attacks and Biotics. But since most of their training is with those, and some basic pistol work, they mostly carry the other guns in case someone else needs it."

"Hmm, I guess that makes sense" I lied. _Whenever I played through as a sentinel, I didn't just let the squad do the work, I went to town on the other guys. They did more of the support than I did for crying out loud!_

As I made my way to the training room, I vaguely wondered if the difference was because it was Shepard that had been a sentinel. _I mean, every version of Shepard was an elite N7 operative. Maybe the extra training is why Matrix would be a better sentinel than Kaidan? _

_Then again, I never could compare the two because Alenko died on Virmire in that play through. _

Still wondering over several things at once, it took me a moment to fully process that thought. _Died on Virmire…_ Suddenly, it was all I could do not to have a full panic attack in the middle of the hall.

An engineer who was passing by looked at me strangely, and I forced myself to continue on my way to the training room.

I was thankful that it was empty, and I let my emotions show fully on my face. _Virmire. _I'd thought about it back on Eden Prime, but at the time I was able to push down the thought, focus on staying alive.

But there were no such distractions here. I knew that only one of them could live, and I had no idea which one it would be. I hadn't really given consideration to who Raptor would romance when I first started, so either one might be sacrificed.

_What am I thinking!? Am I really going to let one of them die?_

As much as I hated to admit it, I knew the answer had to be yes. Losing a squadmate might be that crucial motivation Shepard needed to save the galaxy. Letting one of them live, I knew what would happen. But if they both lived, I had no idea what that might do to the timeline.

I admitted that it could have positive effects, but I also knew that the effects could just as easily doom everything.

_Just like what happened to Nihlus. _I hated the thought, but it was true. My being here hadn't caused some horrible change, but it might only be a matter of time before it would. I had to take pains to avoid it whenever I could.

I shook my head, pushing the thoughts back down. _Denying it won't help, but neither will dwelling on it, and I have enough on my plate as it is._

I tried convincing myself that I might be able to save them both. _Emphasis on try. _But it was weeks -maybe even months- away. _Whereas a fight where I could get shot in the head is bound to happen within a few hours. Unless the council somehow decides to not be complete morons. _

_Yeah right. _

I moved to the shooting range, which I discovered projected holographic enemies and environments. I looked through the various options and preprogrammed options, before randomly picking one.

I was suddenly on an open plain with a pair of Krogan charging at me from less than six feet. My brain knew that they were just holograms, but my instincts were still to jump to the side as they ran at me.

My pistol flew into my hands, and I opened fire. I barely took down their shields before they suddenly disappeared.

A loud buzzer indicated that the time allotted for the scenario had passed.

I looked over the programs again, looking for the one I had selected. It was labeled "Sniping Pratice."

I shook my head. _Ok, now I believe Shepard when she says she was good at sniping. If she could take them both out that fast, I am severely impressed._

I selected a more normal scenario, but quit after a few minutes. I had no trouble hitting the targets with any of my weapons. I wasn't a crack shot like Shepard, but I was good enough. _Even if I spent the rest of my time in here, I doubt I'd improve much. Which, I guess Iron __was __N7, so if I have his skills…_

I sighed, seeing that I was wasting time here.

I turned to look at the rest of the room, and a glowing datapad caught my eye. There was an impressive set of weights and cardio machines set up nearby.

I reached my hand towards it, and the datapad flew into my hand. It took only a glance to see that Shepard used it to keep track of her activities in here.

_300 pound bench press? Damn, she is good. _I glanced through the rest of her records, which impressed me further.

_A 4 minute mile? _I thought back to how I'd been able to keep up with her sprinting before. _Oh come on Bourne, no way you're that good. _

But I was curious how good I actually was, and I still had some time.

It only took me a moment to remove my gear and set it aside.

I stepped onto the treadmill, and the holographic interface showed a program labeled "Shepard's run." _How hard can it be? _I hit the button, and the belt began to move beneath my feet.

* * *

I only made it a half mile before I was breathless and covered in sweat. I nearly jumped off the treadmill as it continued to roll, standing there with my hands on my knees.

_Ok, that was a really dumb idea. Jogging: good. Sprinting so much you feel like puking: bad. Doing that when you know there's going to be fighting later: really fucking stupid.  
_

I reached for my armor, biotics bringing it to me. A flash of light caught my eye, and my pistol flew into my hand.

I saw someone aiming a pistol back at me, and I nearly fired before I realized it was my reflection. I sighed in relief.

_Whew, glad I didn't shoot that. I get the feeling the replacement would come out of my paycheck. And I don't even have my first one yet. _

I looked at where I'd dropped my armor on the floor, and again reached for it. I saw the flash of light again, and this time I saw where it had come from.

Holding my armor forgotten at my side, I looked at my reflection in the mirror. It was the first time I'd seen my reflection when I wasn't in full gear.

My first thought was that I was in pretty good shape. _I mean, I'm no Hulk, but I'm certainly not a 90 pound weakling either. _ My muscles were more like those of an athlete, defined but not comically so. I couldn't help checking to see if I had a six pack._ Heh heh, sweet. _

I shook my head. _Alright, enough screwing around. _

I turned my attention back to what I'd seen before. My eyes seemed to faintly glow in the semi-dim light. I clenched a fist, biotics flaring around it. My eyes instantly began to truly glow, irises bright as a star.

I let my biotics fade, and my eyes returned to normal as well. _Ok, I'm not an expert, but that isn't quite normal. Cool, but not normal. _

_Hah! What the hell is normal anymore? I wouldn't be surprised if I suddenly turned into a Krogan. Well, maybe a little bit, but not much. _

I looked at myself in the mirror again. _Hmm, I wonder… _ I activated the tiniest flicker of my powers, and my eyes glowed just as bright. I glared at my reflection, and I was pleased with the aurora of menace the glowing eyes gave off. I let them fade once more.

_Man, if I can make a guy piss himself without doing that… I think I'm going to have way too much fun with that. _

I looked at my omni-tool, and was surprised at how much time had passed. _Probably should finish up here if I want to be there when Shepard wakes up. _

_...Man, that sounds really creepy in hindsight._

* * *

**Man, I'm really liking having a backlog of chapters so I don't have to sweat it if I get stuck on one section. Because certain charecters are... not easy to write for. **

**Now, normally I don't recommend fics (unless I'm being shameless in promoting my own writing), but I'm making an Exception here. "Users" by Starspike7 is one of the better fics I've found, and it doesn't have nearly the amount of readers that it deserves. I'd appreciate it if you guys checked it out and gave him some feedback.**

**Anyway, see you guys on Monday.**


	9. It's Going to be a Long Day

"Ugh…"

"Hey doc? I think she's waking up."

Shepard opened her eyes, slowly sitting up. It took a moment to recognize the room before realizing she was in Normandy's medbay.

"Well, either that, or she's sleepwalking."

Shepard turned to the voice, and was slightly surprised to see Bourne standing nearby. She glared at him a moment for the comment, before turning to face Chakwas as the doctor walked around in front of her.

"You had us worried there, Shepard. How are you feeling?"

"Like the morning after shore leave." She deadpanned, feeling a lingering headache from… _Actually, what happened? _ "How long was I out?"

"About fifteen hours. Something happened down there with the beacon."

"That's one way to put it." The armored mercenary said with a slight chuckle. "I don't know how much you remember, but Williams got a hair too close to the beacon, and triggered some sort of security field. Then we ended up getting her out of there, but we got caught instead."

"Then why aren't you in a cot somewhere?"

"Alenko said he saw me put up a barrier on instinct before it exploded. If it makes you feel any better, I did get knocked on my ass pretty hard."

"Yeah…Wait, did you say the beacon exploded?"

"It was either another security thing, or a system overload, but it went up in smoke either way. And-if you didn't already notice- it knocked you out. The three of us carried you back to the ship."

"I appreciate the help." She said. What she didn't ask aloud was why he was still here.

Chakwas spoke up before she could. "Physically, you're fine. But I detected some unusual brain activity, abnormal beta waves. I also noticed an increase in your rapid eye moment, signs typically associated with intense dreaming."

Shepard got up off the cot and leaned back against it. "It wasn't really a dream. It was more like some sort of vision."

"Oh? Of what?"

"I saw… I'm not really sure what I saw." She said, playing it over in her mind. It had been blurry, indistinct, but some images had been clearer than others.

Bourne cleared his throat, and she turned to look at him. "I don't suppose it was synthetics butchering organics?"

"How did you know-"

"I saw the same thing right before the damn thing blew up."

Chakwas glared at him. "Is there a reason you didn't mention it?"

"Two actually. One, you didn't ask." He said with a smirk. "And secondly, It's sort of my policy to avoid telling people stuff that would make me sound crazy."  
He shrugged. "I figured that if Shepard said something about it, then it might be from the beacon and have merit. And if she didn't, it wasn't important."

"Usually seeing things like that are important." Shepard said, glaring at him slightly.

"I agree." The captain said from the doorway. Shepard hadn't heard him come in.

But judging by Bourne's reaction, he was a bit less surprised. "Well, nobody's perfect." He said with a shrug. His face looked utterly emotionless, but Shepard could swear he was fighting a smile.

The captain glowered at him for a moment before turning to the doctor. "How's our XO holding up?"

"All the readings look normal. I'd say the commander's going to be fine."

"Good. After how far we had to carry her, it'd really suck if she went and-"

"Do you ever shut up Bourne?" Shepard snapped.

He actually looked surprised a moment before his face went back to its blank emotionless state. "You have no sense of humor."

The captain looked at him in annoyance. "Might I remind you that she outranks you?"

Shepard looked at him in surprise, then back to Bourne. "Outrank?"

The captain didn't answer, instead turning to the doctor. "Could you excuse the three of us please?"

"Of course." She went into the other section of the medbay, closing the door behind her.

"It sounds like that beacon hit you pretty hard Commander. Are you sure you're okay?"

She gestured to Bourne. "Did I miss something?"

"That sounds like a semi-polite way of asking why I'm still here." He muttered.

"I'll be honest Shepard, things look bad."

"What, you mean the dead Spectre, Geth army, or the fact the Beacon got trashed?"

Both of them turned to glare at Bourne.

"Sorry, just thinking aloud. Force of habit I guess."

Shepard couldn't help but feel satisfied as he shifted uncomfortably. His face never lost that blank mask though, which irritated her a bit.

Anderson turned back to her. "He's right for the most part though. Between all that, the Council is going to want answers."

"I didn't do anything wrong Captain. Hopefully the council will see that. But that still doesn't answer my question."

"At this point, the only suspect we have for planning all this happens to be a Spectre. One of the Council's best and favorite Spectres." Bourne answered. "But like I said back on Eden Prime, he isn't a fan of humans, so this would fit his style."

Anderson nodded. "Pretty much. But we're going to have a hard enough time convincing the council as it is. And his testimony will be more effective if it's given as an Alliance Marine."

"Whereas people tend to distrust ex-mercenaries." Bourne said wryly.

"I can't imagine why." Shepard dead panned.

"I think it's because they're jealous of my good looks."

She glared at him. "The only reason you're not doing a few hundred pushups for that comment is because it's your first day."

"Noted." He said, though she couldn't tell whether he actually meant it or not.

Shepard turned back to the captain. "So what's our plan then?"

"Saren's allied himself with the Geth. I don't know how or why, but it has something to do with that beacon. You said you saw something before it self-destructed?"

"I hate to give him credit, but Bourne's description was pretty accurate. Some sort of synthetics slaughtering organics."

"You know, now that I think about it, maybe there's a relationship between the beacon, geth, and giant ship we saw." Bourne commented.

Shepard thought over what she'd seen again. "Maybe the ship was in there somewhere."

"It's a big ship. Twice the size of anything I've ever heard of."

"Are you going somewhere with this?"

Shepard had to admit that he was good at keeping his emotions off of his face. She couldn't tell if he was thinking, hesitating, both, or maybe just deciding how to say it.

He shrugged after a moment. "Maybe. I'd wait for more evidence before we call it though. But if Saren was after info from the beacon, maybe he's the one that set it to explode. So nobody else could use it."

"You think he could do something like that?"

"Well, I'm no expert on tech like that. But a Spectre probably could get access to some pretty advanced stuff. I'd say it's at least possible."

"We need to report all of this to the council." Anderson broke in.

"No offense, but I don't see how that'll help. We don't have solid proof for any of it, just some semi-educated guesses."

"What about your vision?"

He looked at Shepard. "You got hit with it too. Your call as much as mine."

She shook her head. "Telling them we had a bad dream doesn't seem like a very effective strategy. If we have to, we can bring it up. But otherwise-"

"Otherwise we sound like complete lunatics." Bourne finished.

Anderson shook his head. "We have no idea what was stored in that beacon-"

"No, we don't. Which makes it another shaky piece of evidence in an already shaky accusation." Bourne cut him off. "What we do know is Saren's reputation. He thinks humans are a plague on the whole damn galaxy. I know I'm not a politician, but this seems a tiny bit like an act of war or something. Hence, telling them about a scary dream seems like a really dumb move."

Anderson thought for a moment, then nodded. "Maybe. But whatever information was in there, now Saren has it, along with a Geth army. He isn't going to stop until humans are wiped from the face of the galaxy."

"I'll find some way to take him down." Shepard said firmly.

"Not if I find it first." Bourne said with a chuckle. "No offense Commander, but I didn't join up just so I could sit on the sidelines."

"It's not that easy." Anderson pointed out. "He's a Spectre. He can go anywhere and do almost anything. That's why we need the council on our side."

"So if they don't listen to what evidence we have, _which seems pretty likely, _we find evidence a bit more solid." Bourne said.

"If we can get proof, Saren can kiss his Spectre status goodbye." Shepard agreed.

"Yeah, if. Somehow, I don't think it'll be that easy." Bourne muttered.

"I'll contact the ambassador and see if he can get us an audience with the Council. He'll want to see us as soon as we reach the Citadel."

Shepard nodded.

"We should be getting close. Head up the bridge and tell Joker to bring us into dock." Anderson said, turning to leave.

"Roger that."

* * *

I watched the door close behind the captain, then turned to Shepard with a sigh. "Alright, he's gone, so you can drop the act and just tell me how you distrust me." Somehow, my face stayed expressionless unless I deliberately chose to show emotion, but Shepard was a bit less subtle in that respect.

The way she glared at me just backed that up that thought. "I am a bit skeptical."

I shrugged. "Can't say I blame you. But I saw the same thing you did." _Though it was on a TV most of the time. _ "I think we can both agree that letting someone like Saren get his hands on that stuff is a bad idea."

She crossed her arms. "So it's about saving lives? Somehow, that doesn't seem your style either."

I felt a surge of anger, and my biotics flared around my hand for an instant.

Her eyes widened slightly as my own eyes lit up like twin suns.

I forced myself to calm down. "Look, if you don't trust my motives, at least trust that we have the same goal." _Well, the same main goal. But I get the feeling at some point I'm going to add 'beat the crap out of insert annoying person's name here' to my goals. Probably Udina.  
Man, I haven't even met the guy yet, and I still know I'm going to want to do that. _

"What type of mercenary were you exactly?" Shepard asked.

"The same type as any merc. A really stupid one." I answered, drawing from the backstory I'd created for myself. "I was a kid when they got me, and it took me a long time to wise up."

She didn't look convinced. "A lot of kids do stupid things. Most of them don't join gangs though."

"If circumstances had been different, you might've ended up in the same place." I said testily. _Considering that's the first pre-service history I ever used, I ought to know._

"Maybe, maybe not. Doesn't change my point."

"Yeah, I'm sure you've done an absolutely perfect job your whole career." I snapped.

Her hands clenched into fists, and I could hear her teeth grinding. She radiated menace.

I was wearing armor that could stop bullets in their tracks, was armed almost to the teeth, _I have superpowers for god sakes! _ And yet I was dubious about my chances if she attacked me in earnest.

"I'm going to pretend you're not actually talking about that incident, and are just referring to my career in general." She said through gritted teeth.

I didn't let my confusion show on my face, but I couldn't keep it out of my voice. " What do you mean?"

She kept her fists clenched as she decided whether or not I was being genuine.

She sighed as she relaxed her hands. "You might be the first person to not know about Akuze the first time you talk to me."

… _Ok, note to self. That is a minefield to steer clear of. Which I am still trapped in the edges of. _

"I might have heard a little bit about that." I said carefully. "But it wasn't really what I was referring to."

Her hand absentmindedly went up to the scar on her chin. "It's not something I like to talk about. But it's all most of the people I meet want to know about."

"I understand. I'm usually not that open about my past either." _Mostly because I don't remember my real one, and my fake one involves being a damn mercenary! And she didn't even hear a hint of the details! I might really need to rethink- No, it's still the only explanation that makes any sense. _

She sighed. "Alright, how about I try to not distrust you?"

"Better than what was going on a minute ago." I shrugged.

"I guess I better go tell Joker to bring us in, then go get suited up."

I gestured to my gear. "Want me to go tell him, since I'm already ready?"

"I'd appreciate it."

_Ok, awkward moment over. Good. _

Shepard went to her locker to start gearing up.

I followed her out of the medbay, and saw Ashley standing near the stairs.

_Ok, I jinxed myself on that one. _

I thought about going up the other set of stairs, but she'd already seen me and it seemed like a pretty lame thing to do.

I sighed internally as I got closer to her.

"Is the Commander okay?"

"Well, a minute ago she looked like she was going to bite my head off… So yeah, I'd say she's in perfect health."

"Is she mad about me setting off-"

"I doubt it." I cut her off. "She doesn't seem like the type to hold a grudge like that." I jerked a thumb over my shoulder at Kaidan. "Besides, not like you knew what would happen. If you hadn't set it off, Alenko would have, or I would have." _Though if I had set it off, it would have been because one of you didn't, and I needed to get things moving._

"I guess."

"Look at it this way. Between the career marine that did something anybody might've and a former mercenary that I'm pretty sure she wants to punch in the face… I think you're in the clear."

"Strangely, that actually makes me feel better."

I chuckled as I climbed up the stairs. .

I could hear her footsteps behind me even before I heard her voice. "So, what's up with the full gear?"

"We're almost to the Citadel, so Shepard told me to tell Joker to pull into dock."

"Joker?"

"You know, the guy that flies this thing, hopefully keeps us from crashing?"

"Oh, right. I guess Ididn't catch his name yesterday."

"Well, I'm pretty sure it isn't his real name."

"I must've had other things on my mind, and didn't hear the captain."

I thought back to when the Captain had given us the tour. "I think you were looking out the windows of the cockpit at the time."

"How could you possibly remember that?"

_If I knew the answer to that… Actually, it would probably just raise a dozen more questions._ I stuck with a noncommittal shrug.

"So, have you been to the Citadel before?"

"Never seen it in person." I answered, hiding a smile at the truth in that statement.

"So, I guess I should probably go get my gear too, huh?"

"Probably should tell Alenko too. I'm guessing Anderson will want all of us there to answer questions or whatever."

"Yeah, good idea."

I turned around to face her. "Listen, about earlier… is there some way we can put all that behind us? I mean, we're probably going to be stuck on the same ship for a while. And I think having one person want to punch me is more than enough."

"I'll think about it."

_Which is women code for no. I think. Argh! How is that I got every superpower except knowing what a woman is thinking? _

I muttered profanities under my breath until I reached the cockpit. "Anderson said to tell you to bring us in."

Joker jumped a foot in the air at my words, swearing.

I looked at him in confusion. "What, is it that hard to do?"

"You want to not sneak up on me while I'm piloting the ship? So we don't crash into an asteroid or something?"

I crossed my arms._ First Ashley, now him. Am I just naturally ninjaesk now? _

"Maybe you just should install a rear view mirror or something."

"I wish." He muttered. "So, you're that mercen-"

"It's ex-mercenary." I cut him off. _Seriously, how can these guys not get that through their thick skulls?_

"Right. Operations chief now?"

"Yep. Highest ranking after the Captain, and Shepard, and Lt. Alenko… and maybe the engineers, I wasn't really paying attention when they explained it."

He chuckled. "And they call me Joker."

"What's the matter, scared of losing your title?"

"You want to see something scary, you ought to look in the mirror."

"Why, are you going to be standing behind me?" I countered.

"No, if I saw your face in the mirror, I think I'd turn into stone. _Really brittle stone in my case_." He muttered

"I think we'd both turn to stone from seeing your face."

He was quiet a moment, clearly trying to think of an answer. "Maybe I can just convince Shepard to throw you out the airlock."

"Joker, what did I tell you about using me as a threat?" Shepard said as she walked up to us.

"I think you said you'd do to me what I threatened to have you do."

I chuckled. "Then I hope you can breathe in outer space."

"Well, with a helmet on."

"Hopefully one with a one-way faceplate."

"Bourne, will you stop encouraging him?" Shepard complained.

"Hey, he started it."

That only earned me a glare.

"You know, I think you broke a stereotype."

"What, that Commanders put up with BS from their subordinates?"

"No, that women take forever to get dressed. It took you what, a minute to get that stuff on?"

"Years of practice. I can take it off pretty quickly too."

"Hitting on me again?"

She slugged me in the arm hard enough that I felt it through the armor. "No, just hitting you."

"Seriously, no sense of humor."

"I let you on board didn't I?"

"Not really. The captain let me on; you were snoring at the time."

She shook her head. "Remember what I said back on Eden Prime?"

"Probably, but you'd have to be more specific."

"You'd be a good soldier if-"

"If I could learn to shut my damn mouth?"

She looked at me for a second. "Good memory."

"I like to think so."

"If only your sense of humor was as good."

"…Touché."

"So, is it a new policy to abuse anyone lower ranking than you?" Joker asked.

"Unless you want to find out, I suggest you focus on driving." Shepard said, though it was clear she was joking.

"Aye aye, commander, bringing us into the citadel now. Time to see that taxpayer money at work."

I could see the Mass Relay up ahead, but somehow I wasn't as intimidated as I would have thought. _Which is either because I'm a Biotic, so I can do the same thing it does, just one a smaller scale. Or it's because I've just become so desensitized to all this, nothing short a Krogan charge could phase me. _

_I don't know which of those two reasons is less terrifying. _

_Then again, if I have all the powers that Iron had, maybe I also have his memories subconsciously? _

_God, there aren't words to describe how bad that would be. I can't even figure out how many people he killed, and I've got the perfect memory. _

I was too distracted by the thought to really notice as we passed through the relay.

I was suddenly face to face with the Citadel. _Of course, that doesn't faze me much either. _

_What else is new?_

"How long until we dock Joker?" Shepard asked.

"Depending on traffic, about ten minutes give or take."

"Good. I don't want to be late to meet with the ambassador."

_Then again, if I had Iron's memories, I'd be able to remember killing Udina when he inevitably pisses me off when I meet him. _

I fought a sigh. _So, now I have to deal with idiots, get three new squad mates, fight a ton of people, deal with idiots again, Shepard gets turned into a Spectre, and then possibly some missions on the side. _

_It's going to be a long day._

* * *

**Man, I am loving being far enough head that I can release new chapters on a fairly regular schedule. Hopefully I'll be able to keep it up._  
_**

**Anyway, unless something unexpected happens, I'll see you guys again on Friday.**

**Saynora.**

**BTW, I just realized I've gone 9 chapters without saying I don't own Mass Effect. I mean, I guess It's pretty obvious, but I just felt I should point it out.**


	10. They're Definitely Idiots

It took me all of five seconds to decide that Udina and the Council were idiots the first time I met them.

Hearing them in person instead of a on a screen, it took me about a tenth the time to decide to hold firm to that impression.

"This is an outrage! The Council would step in if the Geth attacked a Turian colony!" Udina ranted at the council's holograms. _What an idiot. Albeit an idiot with Humanity's best interests at heart… for now. Doesn't make it easier to resist the urge to shoot him though. _

"The turians don't have colonies on the borders of the Terminus, Ambassador." The salarian countered calmly. Kelly had described Mordin as a hamster on coffee. _This guy is like a snail that's high on weed. _He was somehow both passive, and offensive at the same time. _Him, I don't think I want to shoot, so much as I want to just knock out so he shuts up. _

The asari was just as bad, in a different way. "Humanity was well aware of the risks when you went into the Traverse." She wasn't as dismissive, but it was like she was trying to play to both sides. _Huh, she might be the only good politician here. Emphasis on might._

"What about Saren? You can't just ignore a rogue Spectre. I demand action!" Udina shouted.

_On the other hand, cue the Turian. _"You don't get to make demands of the Council, Ambassador." _If Garrus acts like there's a stick up his ass, this guy acts like he has a whole damn tree up his. He almost needs the bullet more than Udina. And a second bullet on top of that._

"Citadel security has investigated your charges against Saren. We'll discuss the findings at the hearing, not before." The asari said. _Yep, there she goes, trying to keep everyone calm. Which would be fine and dandy if we didn't actually have something to be mad about. But since we do, she needs to just shut up. _

Their holograms abruptly faded.

_... Speak of the devil. _

Udina turned to face us. "Captain Anderson. I see you've brought half your crew with you."

_Then again, now we have to talk to this prick directly. _

"Just the ground team from Eden Prime. In case you had any questions."

"I have the mission reports." He glanced at me. "And if they are accurate, I must express that letting a merc-"

"It's EX-MERCENARY." I said, eyes blazing as I barely kept myself from warping his head off. _Seriously, how hard is that to remember!? _ _I've said it a half dozen times now!_

"Be that as it may, it won't exactly endear you to the Council."

"Right. Because I'm sure that little 'I demand action!' endeared you to them." I shot back, crossing my arms.

"At least you convinced the Council to give us an audience." Anderson said, cutting off his reply.

Shepard shot me a warning look as she stepped in front of me. _Hey, I didn't shoot him, did I?... although I can't guarantee that I won't change my mind about doing so.  
_

"They weren't happy about it." Udina said.

_No shit Sherlock. _

"Saren is their top agent. They don't like him being accused of treason."

"And at what point did they get the false idea I care?" I asked rhetorically.

"Bourne has a point." Shepard said, shooting me a stronger look. "Regardless of whether they like it, Saren's a threat to every human colony out there. He needs to be stopped." She shook her head. "We have to convince the Council!"

"It's not that easy Commander. Your main witness is a mer-" He stopped himself as my glowing eyes burned into him. "-ex- mercenary." He amended. "And you've done more than enough to jeopardize your candidacy for the Spectres. The mission on Eden Prime was a chance to prove you could get the job done. Instead, Nihlus ended up dead, and the beacon was destroyed."

I had to restrain myself from activating my Biotics and sending him into the presidium's lake.

"That's Saren's fault, not hers!" Anderson defended her.

"Not to mention the Geth that came out of nowhere." I added. "Which was also Saren's doing."

"Then we better hope the investigation turned up evidence to support our accusations. Otherwise the council might use this as an excuse to keep her out of the Spectres."

"Isn't it your job to keep them from doing that?" I said.

"Her recent association with you is another hindrance."

I glared at him._ If it wasn't for the fact that killing you would mess up the timeline…_

He was oblivious to my thoughts. "Come on captain, I want to discuss a few things before the hearing. Shepard, you and the others can meet us at the Citadel Tower, top level. I'll make sure you have clearance to get in."

He left, and I seriously had to talk myself out of at least grazing him with my pistol.

"And that's why I hate politicians." Ashley commented.

"At least we agree on something." I responded. "Honestly, I thought about throwing him out the window into the lake."

"Bourne…" Shepard glared at me.

"I said I thought about it, not that I did it. And admit it, you wanted to punch him too."

"Wanting to punch him is one thing. Throwing him into the lake is with Biotics is something completely different." Kaidan said.

"I know. The Biotics make it a lot more fun."

"That's the sort of thing that makes people so prejudiced against Biotics."

"Which is I actually do it in combat, and restrict them to my imagination otherwise." I grinned. "So, obviously those and the guns are out, but what about one of these?" I activated my biotics, and my blade flew from my boot into my hand.

"Put it away Bourne." Shepard said, her own hand dropping to her pistol.

"I'm just saying. If I threw it right, the hilt would hit him instead of the blade. I get satisfaction, and Udina doesn't get blood all over the nice clean floor."

She glared at me.

I knelt and slid it back into its sheath with a huff. "I was kidding." _Mostly. _

"Do me a favor. Don't."

"At least admit it would be satisfying."

"So would be punching you, and yet I've restrained myself from doing that."

"You slugged me back on the Normandy."

"History tends to repeat itself."

"So we can expect-" I cut myself off before I said something I'd regret. "-You to get a ton more head shots?"

She smiled slightly. "Smart move."

"But seriously, back in the training room, I picked your little sniper practice thing by mistake. I mean, really, two Krogan in that little time? At that range? With a sniper-"

"Jealous?"

I shot her a disbelieving look. "Shepard, you're good with a gun-"

"Good?"

"-But considering that I can literally move things with my mind, I don't think jealousy is going to be a problem for me." _Which is good, considering i already have the__ memory loss, crushing responsibilities, and being mostly forced into this._

"Don't get a swelled head Bourne. You aren't the only biotic there is." Kaidan said.

"I'm not getting a swelled head, I'm trying to keep Shepard from getting one."

She crossed her arms. "You're the only one whose head is in danger of swelling. Because I'll raise a lump on it if you can't learn to keep your comments to yourself."

"Would you rather have someone that just mindlessly agrees with you?" I retorted. _Seriously, I could've sworn I made her a paragon, who just happens to not want to deal with stupidit-… argh, I could just kick myself if my legs bent that way. _

She turned away, and I thought she was hiding a smile. "Good point. Come one, let's get going. They'll be even less likely to listen to us if we're late."

She stepped through the door, and I rushed up so I was next to her. "You don't think they'll listen?"

"Sure they will. It's how much they'll believe that worries me."

"Have to agree with you on that one. If they do believe us, I'll eat my boots. But I'm not going to heat up the barbeque while I'm waiting."

"Then we just will have to find a way to make them believe us."

_You have no idea. _"I hope it'll be as easy as you make it sound." _At least I know what's coming. _

_On second thought, I'm not so sure that's a good thing. _

* * *

As we reached the top and stepped out of the elevator, we saw two Turians arguing.

One of them was in formal wear, and barely held any recognition for me, while the other's blue armor and visor was much more familiar to me.

"Saren's hiding something! Give me more time, stall them!" Though I knew it was him, Garrus still looked odd to me with his undamaged face and unblemished blue facial markings.

"Stall the Council? Don't be ridiculous! Your investigation is over Garrus." The other turian turned away in a clear dismissal.

Garrus looked dejectedly at the ground a moment before noticing us.

"Glad I'm not the only one with a grumpy boss." I muttered.

"Bourne, 'grumpy' is only a couple more bad jokes from turning into something a lot more painful."

"...To be honest, I didn't think you'd actually hear that one."

"I'm sorry, did I hear your name was Bourne?" Garrus broke in. "Jason Bourne?"

"That's him." Shepard confirmed.

"Which must make you Commander Shepard."

"You obviously know who we are, but I'm afraid I can't say the same for you."

"Garrus Vakarian. I was the officer in charge of the C-sec investigation into Saren."

"So, judging by his reaction, I'm guessing your boss wasn't giving you a raise?" I asked.

I couldn't read his face, but I was guessing it was a dirty look he sent my way.

"Ignore him, that's what I do." Shepard suggested.

"You don't ignore me, you usually just tell me to shut up, then follow it up with a threat."

"So-" She said to Garrus, actually ignoring me this time "- was that your boss, or is Bourne just acting like an idiot?"

"Both." He said, mandibles twitching into what was probably a smile. "That was Executor Palin, head of Citadel Security. He'll be presenting my findings on Saren to the Council."

"Doesn't sound like you're a fan of his." I commented.

"No, I'm not. I don't trust him, something about him rubs me the wrong way. But since he's a Spectre-"

"Everything he does is classified?"

"Exactly. I can't find any solid evidence."

"I'm not all that surprised. I'd expect him to have covered his tracks." I sighed. _Well, try to look on the bright side. I don't have to eat my boots, which saves me the trouble of buying a new pair._ "At least you tried. More than the Council is doing."

"Well, you were sort of an obstacle too."

"If you call me a Merc instead of Ex-merc, I can't be held responsible for my actions. I've heard that way too many times today."

"Either way, it isn't going to help your story."

"Do you believe it?" Shepard asked him.

"I've seen crazier things." He shook his head. "But it's a pretty shaky case."

"I know."

"Looks like the council's read for us Commander." Alenko cut in.

"Good luck Shepard, maybe they'll listen to you at least." He shot a look at me. "But if you want my advice Bourne-"

"I don't." I cut him off, brushing past him. _It's either going to be to shut up, which I'm not going to do, not when this is so important, or it's going to just be some dumb joke or something. _

"Do you want my advice Bourne?" Shepard asked as she caught up to me.

"Sure." _Besides, I get the feeling it'll be an order if I don't listen. _

"Make sure you have your safeties on. If earlier is any indication…"

"Yeah, good idea." I said, pistol flying into my hand. It took me less than half a minute to safety all of them. "You got yours on?"

"I think I'm in better control then you."

"But do you?"

"… Yes."

I just smiled in satisfaction. But it was a smile that quickly faded as I got my first sight of Saren.

Anderson hurried us in, the hearing already started. The Asari was saying something, but her words fell on deaf ears. All my attention was on the giant hologram of our enemy.

I'd only seen a few Turians up close, but Saren was clearly the most menacing of all that I'd seen. I'd never believed in such things before, but I could almost sense an aura of evil around him.  
His face had no markings, and his eyes seemed to hold no light.

I had to fight to keep my powers from manifesting on instinct.

"An eye witness saw him kill Nihlus in cold blood!" Udina shouted angrily.

I refocused myself in time to hear the Salarian talk. "We've read the Eden Prime reports Ambassador. The testimony of one traumatized dockworker is hardly compelling proof. Neither is the word of a mercenary."

"Ex-mercenary." I growled under my breath._  
_

"I resent these accusations. Nihlus was a fellow Spectre. And a friend." Seeing Saren was enough to convince me that he was dangerous. But his voice held a note of pure menace, pure evil.

_I know these guys are idiots, but how can they not see that this guy is a psycho!?_

"That just let you catch him off guard!" Anderson said angrily. _At least one person still has his marbles._

"Captain Anderson. You always seem to be involved when humanity makes false charges against me." Saren said calmly. "But I must say, this is a new low. Using a merc-"

"Ex-mercenary! I swear to god, the next person to call me a mercenary…" I let the threat hang in the air.

"Yes, I can see why you wanted him on your side." His voice was dripping with sarcasm. "And that must be your protege standing next to him. The one that let the beacon get destroyed."

"Shifting the blame? Interesting tactic Saren." I commented. _Boom, hit you with your own line before you can even use it._

"I fail to see how that is 'shifting the blame' as you call it. It seems more like you might be doing so." He turned to the Council. "If it was not Shepard, which I feel is doubtful, then it seems that this 'ex-mercenary' would be the most likely suspect in her place."

_Ok, try to look on the brightside. At least he got the 'ex' part right. _

"Such actions are what I'd expect… from a human."

"Wait a minute, how'd you even know about the Beacon in the first place? That was top-secret info!" _Which, I'm hoping you won't turn around on me. _

"With Nihlus' passing, his files were passed to me. I was unimpressed."

"Funny, I was about to say the same thing about your Geth."

"We still have yet to see proof that Saren was involved." The Turian reminded me.

I crossed my arms. "So, let me see if I have this straight. The dockworker saw someone kill Nihlus, can we agree on that?"

"That much I will believe."

"He happened to see a Turian." I motioned to Saren. "When asked if he could describe him, he said he hadn't seen many Turians, so he couldn't really describe him."

"Then how-"

"BUT, he did specifically mention that the Turian in question had an artificial arm, and no clan markings on his face. Bit of a coincidence that both of these things just happen to apply to Saren."

"And the name." Shepard cut in. "How could he have just come up with Saren's name randomly?"

Saren seemed to be rolling his eyes, or the turian equivalent. "It would be quite a coincidence. If it were true."

"You calling me a liar?" I said, eyes blazing as my biotics were barely held back.

I was severely annoyed that Saren didn't even flinch. "Perhaps. You may just be misguided." He looked down at the Council. "Perhaps that explosion damaged their memories."

That part of me that didn't want to kill Saren, a very small part of me, was pretty impressed that he could play it off like that.

"Saren despises Humanity! That's why he attacked Eden Prime!" Shepard said angrily. But she shot me a warning look as she did so. If looks could kill, her look would be like a tactical nuke.

Yet I thought at least part of it was directed at Saren. She was a ticked off with him as me, if not more so. Her experience just left her better at controlling herself.

I kept my face expressionless, and tried to push down my anger.

"Your species needs to learn its place. You aren't ready to join the Council. Shepard isn't even read to join the Spectres!"

I saw Udina open his mouth, and I spoke up before he could. "I don't think it's your job to decide."

"Bourne is correct. Shepard's admission into the Spectres is not the purpose of this meeting." The asari agreed.

"This meeting has no purpose. The humans are wasting your time, and mine as well."

"What's the matter, we keeping you from a meeting with your pet Geth?" I said, eyes glowing as bright as fireworks.

"Saren's hiding behind his position as a Spectre. You need to open your eyes!" Shepard stated angrily. She turned her head to glare at me, her purple eyes glowing faintly. But she was surprised to find my own twin stars meeting her gaze calmly.

I turned my attention back to Saren. I was dimly aware of Ashley and Kaidan looking at me in awe. Ashley looked like she agreed with me, but Alenko clearly thought I was nuts.

_Sorry to disappoint there Kaidan. But I just might be the sanest one here. Which is really disturbing when it's put like that. _

The salarian shook his head. "What we need is evidence. We've seen none so far."

_Ok, Shepard told me to turn on the safeties, but she said nothing about the knives. _

"There is still one outstanding issue: The vision that both Chief Bourne and Commander Shepard had. It may have been triggered by the beacon."

_May have been? Thanks Anderson, way to undermine the whole thing._

"Are we allowing dreams into evidence now?" Saren asked rhetorically, sure of the answer. "How can I defend myself against this kind of testimony?"

"So we're just ignoring the fact that we both saw the exact same thing?" I said.

"I agree with Saren." The turian said. "Our judgement must be based on facts and evidence, not wild imaginings and reckless speculation."

_Ok, maybe I can make an argument about the knives being left out._

"Do you have anything else to add?" The salarian asked us both.

"You made your decision, I won't waste my breath." Shepard and I said almost exactly at the same time. We looked at each other, but this time it wasn't a glare she shot me. _Probably because she said literally the same thing. _

"The Council has found no evidence of any connection-" I tuned the Asari out, knowing that her words would just piss me off. I focused all my attention on glaring at Saren.

"I'm glad to see justice was served." Saren glared back mockingly. But it also seemed like he was approving or something. I was too mad to try figuring it out.

"This meeting is adjourned." The Asari said.

I sighed as the Council disappeared. "You think it'd make me feel better if I said that could've gone worse?"

"I think it could've." Shepard responded. "Thanks for keeping the weapons put away."

"It got pretty tempting, I won't lie. Once or twice-"

"Why don't you just leave it at 'you're welcome'?"

"Yeah, that might be for the best."

* * *

**Well, I guess that'll do it for this chapter.**

**Although, I do want to once again recommend checking out**

**Starspike7's** **story, Users. ****It's a bit of a crack fic in some places, but it's a pretty good read overall, and it doesn't have anything close to the audience it really deserves. **

**See you guys monday- unless I kick it into gear with rewriting chapters and decide to post any extra one. Not super likely, but you never know.**


	11. That Guy Had It Coming

"It was a mistake bringing you into that meeting captain. You and Saren have too much history." Udina said bluntly as he waved the rest of us over.

_You'd think that a politician would be better at reading people's moods.  
_

"Then maybe you should've thought about that beforehand." I said, poker face gone for the moment.

He turned to glare at me. I glared back, but since my eyes were like twin novas, it was much more effective than his.

He turned to glare at Shepard instead. "It made the council question our motives. And bringing Bourne along was an even bigger mistake."

I crossed my arms. "You do realize that I'm standing right here? And that I'm already in the mood to punch something?"

Anderson turned to look at me, and I mentally braced myself for a reprimand. But he was looking at Shepard as well. "I know Saren. He's working with the Geth for one reason: to exterminate the human race."

_Well, actually he's working with the Geth to unleash the Reapers, which will exterminate __every__ race. Close enough though.  
_

"Every colony we have is at risk. Every world we control is in danger. Even Earth isn't-"

"I think we get the idea." I cut him off. He looked at me in irritation. "Either we can talk about it, or we can actually do it."

"Military protocol aside, I think I agree with Bourne sir." Shepard said. "Though I'm curious just how you know Saren."

_Ok, if they actually get into a discussion about that, I'm going to snap. It was boring enough hearing it a second time in the game, before I read the novel. _

"Is now really the best time and place to talk about it?" I pointed out.

"I suppose not. But I know what he's like. And he has to be stopped."

"So, do we have a plan?" I asked. _Because given a choice between meeting Garrus again, and running the risk of pissing Wrex off… actually, I think both of those kinda suck in their own ways. One'd be kinda awkward since I all but told Garrus to go screw himself, the would suck other because I kinda enjoy breathing. _

"As a Spectre, he's virtually untouchable. We need to find some way to expose him." Udina said, thinking.

"What about Garrus, that C-Sec investigator? We saw him arguing with the executor." Kaidan suggested.

"Wasn't he asking for more time to finish his report? Sounds like he might be close to finding something on Saren." Ashley agreed.

"If we find him, I'm hereby ordering Bourne to not talk." Shepard said.

"Unless he calls me a mercenary. Then I can't be held responsible for what happens." I said.

"What, because it's true?" Ashley said.

"Not anymore." I shook my head angrily. "It's a moot point if we can't find him. "

Udina nodded. "I have a contact in C-Sec who can help us track Garrus down. His name is Harkin."

"Forget it. They suspended him last month for drinking on the job. I wouldn't waste time with him." Anderson said.

"You won't have to. I don't want the council using your past history as an excuse to ignore anything we turn up. Shepard will handle this."

I faux coughed to get their attention. "I doubt that Harkin and Garrus are our only options." I said when they turned to me. "So, is there a plan B or what?"

"You could talk to Barla Von. Over in the financial district. Rumor has it he's an agent for the Shadow Broker." Anderson said.

"That might work." I agreed. _If Wrex doesn't bite my head off or something. Come to think of it, he could _literally_ bite my head off. Wow, now I really regret mentioning it._

"The Shadow Broker?" Ashley questioned.

"He- or at least that's what I've always thought- is an information broker, one of the best and most connected. Buys or sells secrets to whoever pays the most. Doesn't give a damn about politics, just money. One of his agents would probably know something." _Also, we're going to get to kill him in the future. Oh, and did I mention he's even bigger than a Krogan? And tougher too?_

"The information won't come cheap." Anderson said.

"I didn't sign up for this because I thought it would be easy. Maybe we'll get lucky and the Shadow Broker has some grudge with Saren." _At least I know what's coming. It has its good parts along with the bad.  
_

I shrugged. "If he doesn't tell us anything, we're in the same spot we are now. If he does, we're a step ahead. Actually, same thing goes for Harkin."

Shepard looked like she was thinking. "Maybe we should split up, cover more ground."

"I was about to suggest the same thing."

She nodded, then turned back to Anderson and Udina. "Kaidan and I will talk to Barla Von. The other two can try tracking down Garrus."

It took me a second to realize that since I was a rank above Ashley-_For reasons I still don't understand-_ it meant I'd be the one giving orders. Kaidan was only slightly slower to realize this.

"With all due respect commander, is putting Bourne in charge really the wisest move?" He asked.

"Again, standing right here, Sir." I said, annoyed, poker face firmly back in place.

He turned to look at me. "It's not that I don't trust you, but as second highest ranking-"

"Exactly. Second highest. Hence, Shepard's call, not yours."

Shepard stepped between us. "It's not about rank, it's about who compliments who best. Your tech and biotics back up my shooting, and Bourne's abilities compliment hers."

"You can spend the rest of the day arguing with her, which I don't think will do that much good, or we can actually get to work. Personally, I vote for the latter." I said

He nodded after a moment's consideration. "Alright, point taken."

"Glad we agree." _Because I want to get this over with before I really get a chance to think it over and realize how stupid I am for doing it. _ "So, if Harkin was suspended for drinking on the job, I'm guessing a bar would be a good place to look?"

"He's probably getting drunk at Chora's Den. Dingy little club in the lower section of the wards."

"Got it." I said, turning to leave.

"If you find anything, Radio it in. The sooner we do this the better." Shepard said.

"I assume you'll do the same?"

She answered that one with a very clear look.

"I'll just take that a yes and move out of your punching range."

* * *

The rapid transport car opened its door, and Ashley and I got out.

"Chora's den should be just around the corner." She said.

"Look, I didn't ask to be put in charge here. Shepard's the one who gave the order."

She looked at me in question.

"You've been pretty quiet ever since we split from the others."

"What is there to say?"

"I don't know. You could be honest and tell me you're pissed off I ended up with a higher rank. "

"It's not all that surprising to me." She muttered.

"Why not?"

"You're the one that said we could talk, or we could do the job."

_If I didn't know about her grandfather being the reason she's still that rank, that would probably drive me crazy._

We rounded the corner, and I saw the sign for the place. "Look, all I'm saying is-" I stopped short as I saw several turians with guns aimed right at us.

"That's him." I heard one of them say.

_Ok, this one's on me for forgetting that they'd be here. _

I acted on instinct, biotics flaring around me. The nearest merc got thrown against the wall, and even from that distance I could hear bones snapping.

I ducked behind the railing as his friends opened fire, bullets bouncing off my shields. Ashley followed my lead.

"Ok, I knew I should've asked to switch jobs." I said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Do you have any sort of plan to deal with them?"

"I was just going to make it up as I go." I said, sliding my boot knife from its sheath. One of the mercs rounded the corner, and I hurled the knife right at his throat. He dropped his gun, clutching his neck as he fell to the ground. "It's worked so far."

I drew my shoulder blade, and raised it above my head. I angled it so I could see the other two in the reflection. "Hmm, the other two are right by each other. Bad news for them." I swapped my knife for my pistol.

"Get ready to start firing."

Ashley nodded and readied her rifle.

I stood up and launched a singularity between them. It drew them into the air, spinning them around, and making it impossible for them to aim.

Ashley and I mowed them down in a crossfire.

"See, if I'd planned that out, I might've come to my senses and realized it probably wouldn't work." I said, storing my pistol again.

She rolled her eyes as she stored her weapon. "Looks like that's all of them."

"If I were a betting man, I'd guess they were expecting us."

"Gee, what tipped you off?"

I activated my Omni-tool, establishing a link to Shepard.

"Probably should warn Shepard and Alenko. I'm guessing Saren sent them, so there may be more."

"Good idea."

I put a hand to my earpiece, and heard a bunch of background noise that told me the link was set up. "Shepard, I've got news."

Her voice sounded in my ear. "You found out where Garrus is?"

"Not yet. We're still outside Chora's den, and just got attacked by a group of mercs. I'll give you three guesses who sent them, and the first two don't count."

"Saren's definitely hiding something if he's sending assassins out."

"My thoughts exactly. Watch your back, I doubt he meant to send them my way."

"Well, maybe you pissed him off at the hearing."

"Yeah, good point." I said with a chuckle. "Any luck on your end?"

"Uh, not quite. I got side tracked a bit."

"What, you see someone cute and try to get their number?"

I could hear her taking a deep breath. "You are very lucky I'm not there in person. Long story short, I had to break up an argument between C-sec and a Hanar that didn't have a license to preach."

_Of course you did. _"I'm going to go talk to Harkin and try not to think about what you just said." _Because with perfect memory, I do not want to get a super long sermon on 'the enkindlers' stuck in my head._

"Roger that."

I shut down the comm channel, and walked over to get my knife.

"What was that about getting someone's number?" Ashley asked.

"Just an effort to lighten the mood. Which didn't go over very well, and I'm pretty sure she'll punch me for it later." I wiped the knife off on the body, then slid it back onto my boot. "Wish I'd seen her face when I said it though."

"Are you trying to get demoted or something?"

I chuckled. "Might put me at the same rank as you. Then maybe we'd be able to have an actual conversation without rank getting in the way."

She crossed her arms and huffed. "You're only one pay grade higher."

I grinned. "Jealous?"

She rolled her eyes. "Can we just get this over with? The sooner we get done, the sooner I won't have to be stuck with you."

I shook my head, and walked into the club. "I'll take that as a yes and...and..." I trailed off as I looked around.

I'd never before been so glad to have such a perfect poker face as I took in exactly what I was seeing.

Ashley sighed next to me. "A million light years from where humanity began, and we walk into a bar filled with men drooling over half-naked women shaking their asses on a stage. I can't decide if that's funny or sad."

"In retrospect, I don't regret this job quite so much." I said with a chuckle.

"Hey Bourne, put your tongue back in your mouth before you trip on it."

"Yeah yeah, spoil sport. Come on, let's see if getting shot at was worth it."

"So, if this guy's supposed to be a drunken bum, how are we going to pick him out of this crowd?" She asked rhetorically.

_Leave that to me. _"Maybe I'll get lucky."

"Ok, don't even try to tell me that wasn't-"

"Subconsciously, it probably was. Consciously… that's perfect acceptable to speculate about."

She grunted in annoyance, and I fought back a smile.

I spotted Harkin sitting at a table alone. "Well, have to start somewhere." I said, walking over to him, trying to make it look random.

He glanced at me as I walked towards him, but then his gaze swung towards Ashley, a lewd grin on his face.

"Hey there sweetheart. You looking for some fun? I gotta say, that soldier getup looks real good on that bod of yours. Why don't you sit down besides old Harkin? Have a drink, and we'll see where this goes."

Ashley looked like she wanted to murder him._Well, that puts my little joke into perspective, doesn't it?_

I stepped in front of her, right in front of him. "You can beat the tar out him once we get the info we need." I muttered to her.

"I'm going to hold you to that." She answered quietly.

"Hey pal, you're blocking the view." Harkin said, annoyed.

I crossed my arms, and my eyes glowed fiercely. "Do I look like I care?"

"I could've been a marine you know. Instead, I joined the goddamned Citadel Security. Biggest mistake of my life."

"You're about five seconds away from making a bigger mistake: Pissing me off."

"Security would be on you like-"

I slammed my hands on the table, leaning in close, eyes blazing. "How about we make this quick so I don't have to send you to the hospital, Harkin? I'm looking for Garrus Vakarian. You can tell me now, or I can beat it out of you. And right now, things are leaning towards the second option." I stood back up, hand near my gun. "Where is he?"

" Alright, alright, lay off and I'll talk. You said you were looking for Garrus?"

"Did I stutter?"

"You must be part of Anderson's crew. Poor bastard's still trying to bring Saren down, eh?"

"You know where he is or not?"

"Yeah, I know where Garrus is, but you gotta tell me something first. Did the captain let you in on his big secret?"

I flared my biotics in answer. "Patience might be a virtue, but it's not one I'm particularly good at. Keep that in mind."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Ashley put in.

"It's all related, don't you see? The captain used to be a Spectre. Didn't know that did you? It was all very hush-hush. The first human ever given that honor. And then he blew it. And now he blames Saren, says the Turian set him up."

"Forgive me for being skeptical." I said, sarcastically. _Seeing as I know that isn't exactly what happened._

I raised a glowing fist. "Now tell me where Garrus went before I have to make you even uglier than you are now."

"I heard he was sniffing around Dr. Michel's office. She runs the med clinic on the other side of the wards. Last I heard, he was going back there."

"Took you long enough." I turned to Ashley "Come on, let's get out of here, before Shepard does the job for us." _Then again, that would mean that she'd be headed here, and there'd be bullets flying. _

We turned to leave.

"Maybe next time you're in here, we can get some private time away from him." He called after Ashley.

_Ok, that's it! _I turned and drew my shoulder blade in one motion, throwing it and using my biotics to guide it. The hilt hit his forehead with a loud thud, and his eyes rolled up into his head as he slumped from the chair, out cold.

"Shouldn't have tried to get the last word." I commented as I sent my knife back into my hand.

A few of the patrons looked at me, but a quick glance at my still bared knife and glowing biotics sent them back to their drinks and dancers.  
The Krogan bouncer sent me a warning look, and gestured to the door. It was a pretty clear message:I could leave or I could get thrown out.

I figured it wouldn't do us any good to invite anymore unnecessary trouble, so we left without a word, but I didn't sheath my blade until we were outside.

"Shepard's probably going to kick my ass for that, but I think it was worth it." I said.

"I'd take your side if she tried. That guy needed something like that to happen. Might teach him not to pull crap like that in the future." Ashley answered.

_Then again, he'll become an identity eraser instead… I'll have to ask Garrus to bring me along on that one. Though I'm not sure I'd save that bastard from a bullet in the leg. _"We'll see."

"So, think we should tell Shepard what we found out?"

My first instinct was to say yes, but something made me pause and reconsider. _If I could bring Fist down on my own… Alenko might be higher ranking, but Shepard still put me in charge. That says something, even if I'm not quite sure what._

_Is it because I'm more experienced than him? Or rather, because she thinks I am?  
Or is it something else? _A thought hit me, but I wasn't quite ready to accept it without more proof.

_Either way, if I can do it on my own, it might win me a few points with her. Or it'll blow up in my face. Then again, with what I know, I do have an edge here. _

I shook my head. "I'd wait. For all we know, Harkin might just have been lying, or he didn't really know. It'd be better if we know for sure what we're doing." _One nice thing about that loser: He has almost no credibility, so that's a valid excuse. _

"What about the Captain? About what he said about him being a Spectre?"

I shrugged. "I can't see him making it up on the spot, but I doubt it played out quite like that. Either way, I wouldn't worry about it right now. We should see if the other info was any good."

"I'm right behind you."

* * *

_Ok, so this time, actually remember what happens so you can be prepared for it. The fact that those mercs didn't do more damage was pure luck._

_Or was it more than luck? _I wondered suddenly. _I didn't really think about it before, but everything going on isn't much different than it should be. Really, I'm the biggest change. _

_I don't know much about how- I don't know __**anything**__ about how I got here, but maybe- _

I shook my head. _Interesting as the idea is, it doesn't really matter now. _

"So, are we going to a different med clinic than this one, or did you just lose interest?"

Ashley's words got my attention, and I realized we'd gotten to the med clinic already. I hadn't been paying too much attention to the area, having seen it so many times playing the game. Hence, I'd walked right past it.

I glanced back at her. "I was looking to see if Garrus might've already left, or if he was on his way."

"Yeah, good idea." She looked at the door. "It would be kind of a waste if we came here for nothing."

I chuckled. "Well, there's a bunch of stores over there. We could take a look around real quick if nothing else."

"What, you going to get some more knives?"

I smiled at that. "Well, these three have come in handy so far. Who knows, I might."

She looked at the door. "Maybe we should check to see if he's in there first."

I opened the door, and I saw just what I expected.

Garrus was crouching behind a pillar, gun at the ready. The several thugs around the doctor wear clearly his target.

"I didn't tell him anything! I swear!"

"That's smart doc. If he come around here again, you're going to stay smart. Keep your mouth shut or we'll-" The thug suddenly noticed me, and grabbed the doctor. His gun was suddenly pointed at me.

"Who are you!?" He shouted.

I smiled. "It's not me you ought to worry about." I said, drawing my shoulder blade.

I saw something blue moving from the corner of my eye, and blood spurted from the thug's head as a bullet tore through it.

The doctor screamed as the corpse let go of her and slid to the ground.

The other thugs were surprised for a moment, and I took advantage of the fact. I threw my knife at the closest one. Unlike Harkin, it was the blade that went into his head.

My boot knife flew into one hand, the knife on my belt flew into the other, and I threw them as well. One of them dodged to the side, but my biotics kept the blade on track regardless.

The last one tried running, but Ashley and Garrus quickly put a stop to that with their combined fire.

_Maybe more knives would be a pretty good idea after all._

"Huh, didn't expect to see you here Bourne." Garrus said as he stored his gun.

"I wasn't expecting you to be here either." I said, retrieving my knives.

"Harkin told us he'd be here." Ashley commented.

"Exactly." I turned to Garrus. "Looks like we need to talk."

_So I hope he doesn't decide to blow me off and go calibrate something. _


	12. New Allies

"Looks like we need to talk." I said to Garrus, hoping he wouldn't decide to blow me off.

"I guess I owe you that much. Your timing was perfect, gave me a clear shot at that bastard."

"I figured a distraction would do the trick. Nice shot by the way."

"Yeah, sometimes you get lucky."

It took a lot of effort not to comment on that statement.

"Dr. Michel? Are you hurt?" He asked.

"No, I'm ok thanks to you. All of you."

"What were those guys after anyway? And you do know anything about who they're working for?"

"They work for Fist. They wanted to shut me up, keep me from telling Garrus about the Quarian."

_Oh boy, now I get to play dumb about all this. _"Fist? Isn't the guy that owns Chora's den?"

"That's the one." Garrus confirmed.

"This has something to do with Saren, right? Or did I just go on a wild goose chase?"

"A what?" Garrus looked confused to me, though I wasn't completely sure. His face wasn't exactly human.

"Never mind." I shook my head. "You said something about a Quarian?"

She nodded. "A few days ago, she came by my office. She'd been shot, but she wouldn't tell me who did it. She was scared, probably on the run. She asked me about the Shadow Broker. She wanted to trade information for a place to hide."

"Let me guess" I interrupted. "Fist's an agent for the Shadow Broker, so you put her in contact with him?"

She nodded.

"He doesn't work for the Shadow Broker anymore. He's working for Saren now, and the Shadow Broker isn't too happy about it." Garrus corrected.

"Ok, what sort of dumbass move is that? Does he have a death wish or something?" I said.

Dr. Michel looked like she agreed. "Saren must have made him quite the offer."

"And if he was willing to pay that much, he must've wanted it pretty bad. Especially since he's pissing off the Shadow Broker in the process."

"The only thing that would get that sort of reaction would be evidence." Garrus said.

I looked at the doctor. "She say anything about what the info was?"

She shook her head. "I'm not sure… Wait, she did say something about Geth. It had something to do with Geth."

"Something that can link them to Saren, that's the only explanation."

Garrus nodded. "The council can't possible ignore this."

"Well, I hate to be pessimistic, but they seem to be pretty-" I was cut off by my beeping com. "Hang on, I have to take this."

I activated it.

"Bourne, I have news." Shepard's voice came over.

"So do I."

"Are you still at Chora's den?"

"No, but I'm heading back there now. Quarian, info linking Saren to Geth, Fist betraying Shadow Broker, any of that sound familiar?"

"… How did you-"

"I said I had news too. I managed to track Garrus down, found the info from there. What about you?"

"The Shadow Broker hired a mercenary to kill Fist, and he told me pretty much what you just did. He'll help us find the Quarian if we help him with Fist."

"Tell him to consider Fist dead then."

"I don't think that's what he meant. You should wait for backup anyway."

"Yeah, probably should." I cut the com. "Come on. We're going to go pay Fist a visit."

"Shepard didn't tell you to wait for her?" Ashley asked, clearly suspicious.

"Technically, no. She said I should wait. More of a suggestion than an order."

"And you said Fist had the death wish."

"I figure it'll give me extra motivation. If I pull this off, she's more likely to forgive me."

"You know absolutely nothing about women."

I tried in vain to think of a response, before just giving up and agreeing.

"Bourne, I'm coming with." Garrus said, without even a hint of question in his tone.

"Saren's a Turian." Ashley said, crossing her arms. "Why do you want to take him down?

"I couldn't find the proof I needed in my investigation, but I know what's really going on. Saren's-"

I cut him off. "Welcome aboard Garrus."

"Bourne, with all due respect-"

"Shepard put me in charge Williams, so it's my call. Besides, considering how likely I am to get demoted for doing this, I'm taking advantage while I can."

She glared at me, but didn't comment further.

"Come on, let's go."

* * *

It only took a few minutes to get there.

"It's quiet. Too quiet." I said, smirking. _Clichéd, but appropriate. _

"Fist knows we're coming. He either saw you two earlier, or heard about the bounty hunter the Shadow Broker hired." Garrus responded.

I stopped before the door, and motioned for the others to wait as well. I pulled my assault rifle over my shoulder, then darted around the corner. Gunfire instantly started eating away at my shields.

I activated my biotics, reinforcing myself with a barrier, and started firing back as I ducked behind cover.

With most of the mercs focused on me, Garrus was able to get some quick headshots while Ashley moved up with her assault rifle.

I saw a group of mercs clustered together, and hurled a singularity into the middle of them. Ashley and Garrus opened fire on the helpless enemies.

The Krogan that came my way was a lot less helpless. I had to roll to the side, barely avoiding his charge. He turned around, and I threw a nearby table at him, which stunned him for a moment. It gave me enough time to switch my assault rifle for my shotgun, and at such close range the pellets tore into him.

He fell to his knees, and I fired another pair of blasts into his head point-blank to make sure he was dead.

"Don't move." A thug said, holding a gun pointed right at me. I rounded on him, squeezing the trigger.

Nothing happened, and I realized the gun was overheated.

I cursed loudly, which just made the thug grin. "Not so tough now, are you?"

I responded by throwing him against the far wall. I could hear his spine snapping as he hit. _Moron.  
_

"Is that all of them?" I asked.

"Looks like it." Garrus answered, moving in from the door. He swapped his sniper rifle for his assault rifle. "Let's go get Fist."

I nodded agreement.

We went through a door at the back, and saw two more armed people. "Don't come any closer." One of them said in a shaky voice.

"Warehouse workers? All the real guards must be dead." Garrus muttered.

"Stay back or we'll shoot."

I rolled my eyes. "Maybe you didn't notice, but the last twenty people who said that just died. Rather painfully. " I gestured with my shotgun. "Now would be a very good time to change careers. While you still can."

They looked at each, then dropped their guns and bolted past us.

I chuckled. "Way too easy."

"I wouldn't have thought of doing it that way." Garrus commented.

"Shooting people isn't always the answer." Ashley responded.

"Yeah, sometimes it's enough just to threaten to do it." I said. "Well, I could've just knocked them out instead, but that just wouldn't have been as satisfying."

I turned towards the door. "Get ready. Unless Fist is deaf, he knows we're here."

I opened the door, and slowly rounded the corner.

"Why do I have to do everything myself?" Fist said in a low voice that I easily heard. "Time to die little soldiers."

He activated a pair of turrets. _Ok, at least I remembered about those this time. Even though I have no idea how to take them down_…

_Wait a sec… What if I don't need to?_

Popping around the corner, I activated my biotics, and imagined a giant hand reaching in front of me, grabbing Fist.

He was raised into the air, and I pulled the hand back, bringing him with it.

I retreated back around the corner as Fist came flying towards me.

I slammed him against the wall and pointed my shotgun at his head. "I'll give you to the count of three to drop your gun."

He dropped his pistol, and put his hands in the air. "Don't kill me! I surrender!"

"Smart move." I slid my shotgun back onto my waist, and drew my shoulder blade. "Now then, are you going to tell me where the Quarian is, or do we have to do this the hard way?"

"She's not here, I don't know where she is. That's the truth!"

I sighed. "Hard way it is then." I took a step towards him.

"Wait, wait, I do know where you can find her."

"That's better." I said, stepping back.

"She isn't here, she said she'd only deal with the Shadow Broker himself."

I crossed my arms. "Ok, now I'm just getting annoyed. If you can tell me where she is, I won't have to slit your throat. But if you keep stalling … I've never claimed to be very patient."

"She said she'd only deal with the Shadow Broker himself-"

I cut him off with a punch to the gut that made him double over. "You must think I'm an idiot. Nobody meets with him in person. Now, either you can spill your guts…" I raised my blade. "Or I can do it for you."

The blood drained from his face.

"Now stop giving me the run around and tell it to me straight." I already knew exactly what I needed, which it made it all the more annoying that I had to wait for him to say it. And it definitely made me feel less guilty about getting rough with him.

He managed to stand back up. "You're right, nobody ever meets him face to face, and even I don't know who he really is. But she didn't know that. I told her I'd set a meeting up. But when she shows up, it'll be Saren's men waiting for her."

I grabbed him by the throat and slammed him against the wall. I held my blade right in front of his eyes. "Then you should really tell me where that meeting is before I have to get your blood all over my nice clean knife. And I really hope you do tell me, because cleaning this thing is a major pain in the ass."

"The back alley by the markets, here on the wards. The meeting's in a few minutes, you might make it if you hurried."

I let go of his throat, and he dropped to the ground. "Remember when I said I wouldn't slit your throat if you told me where she was?"

His face paled.

I put my blade away. "Lucky for you, I'm a man of my word."

He sighed in relief.

I activated my biotics, and slammed a fist into his head hard enough to knock him out. He slumped to the ground. "There. Throat is still unslit."

"Bourne come on! That quarian's dead if we don't go right now!" Garrus said, pulling out his assault rifle.

I nodded and readied my shotgun. "Get ready for another fight. I'm betting some more mercs will have shown up."

I motioned to each side of the door, and they got into position. I delayed long enough to biotically grab the OSD from Fist's desk and place it on my belt. _Man, old habits really do die hard._

I opened the door, and was suddenly face to face with a Krogan holding a shotgun, and I fired on instinct. The twin blasts sent him stumbling back, but his shields held. I ran at him, and hit him with the hardest biotic punch I could muster. He was thrown into the bar in the center of the room, landing behind the counter.

There was flash of motion to my right, and I turned with my shotgun raised to blow the guy's head off. Then I stopped as I saw his face.

"Alenko?"

He lowered his weapon. "Bourne?"

I heard someone clearing their throat behind me. I turned to see Shepard standing there with her arms crossed. "As I recall, I told you to wait."

"Well, actually, you said that I _should_ wait for back up. You never actually _ordered_ me to wait."

She glared at me.

It didn't show on my face, but my heart suddenly leaped into my throat as I realized what I'd just done. The sight of the Krogan I'd thrown getting back up didn't help.

_Oh crap, I just attacked Wrex. I am dead. Dead, dead, dead. _

"Is this one with you?" He asked as he lumbered over. "Because if he's not, then he'd better start running."

I fought back a gulp, and tried to get my voice as emotionless as my face. "I was expecting reinforcements for the mercs, not you. Hard to tell the difference when someone's right in my face with a shotugn.

"Anyone would have made the same mistake." Shepard said, clearly trying to placate Wrex and keep him from shooting me in my face with said shotgun.

He towered over me, and pointed right between my eyes. "It happens again, that's where the bullet goes."

"I'll… keep that in mind. I take it you're the guy hired to kill Fist?"

"He already dead?"

I almost said no, and then rethought it. _Ashley and Garrus saw me punch him in the head with Biotics, but they don't know how hard I actually hit. And if I say he's dead, one of two things will happen. I'll either make some easy money, or he'll shoot me in the head. _ "He's back there, out cold." I said, jerking a thumb over my shoulder.

_Ok, I hate to chicken out, but since he probably already wants to shoot me, probably better not to risk it._

Shepard shook her head. "Bourne, technicalities aside-"

"We don't have time for a lecture Shepard. I found out where the Quarian is, but if we don't get moving she'll be dead by the time we get there!"

She nodded, though I could tell the conversation wasn't over yet. "Lead the way."

* * *

A Turian approached Tali as she stood waiting for Fist and the Shadow Broker.

"Did you bring it?"

She moved her eyes, scanning the area. There weren't many places for others to hide, but they were there. And she had a bad feeling about this whole thing. The doctor had sent her to Fist, and while she trusted her, she didn't trust him. Not completely.

And she didn't trust this Turian either. Something about him was sending warning signals through her head. "Where's the Shadow Broker? Where's Fist?"

"They'll be here." He said, reaching up to stroke her hood. "Where's the Evidence?" he continued in that oily voice. He moved his hand down her side.

Tali swatted the hand away. "No way. The deal's off." She tried to sound confident, but didn't much succeed. _Keelah, I hope I won't need to use this shotgun._

Of course, that was before she saw two salarians with guns ready appear from behind a crate.

Tali knew she was in trouble. She hurled a combat mine at them, set to explode. It stunned one, knocking it down, and killed the other.

She drew her shotgun, not willing to go down without a fight. She turned towards the Turian, who now also had his gun out and was flanked by two other Salarians.

His head suddenly exploded, and he fell to ground.

His two Salarian companions looked past Tali, and raised their guns. Something blue whizzed by her and hit one of them in the head, killing him instantly. Another blue object hit the second one with a dull thud, and he fell to the ground as well, a second before a bullet would have torn through his skull.

"You'll have to be faster than that if you want to hit anything Williams."

She saw two human women and a Turian, each holding a sniper rifle. There was also a human male, but he seemed to be empty handed.

He reached out, hands glowing, and the blue objects flew from the corpses into his hands. Tali realized that they were knives, and he was a biotic.

One of the other humans spoke, the one wearing pink armor. "Just because you can't hit anything with a gun, and have to stick to knives-"

"No need to be jealous." He said with a chuckle as he slid them back onto his shoulder and belt.

"Knock it off you two." The other women said. She was wearing black armor with a red stripe down one arm.

She walked forward, storing her weapon as she did so. The other two kept their weapons out.

"Fist set me up. I knew I couldn't trust him!" Tali said mostly to herself before turning to face the newcomers. The woman and the biotic didn't look hostile, but Tali was wary of the other two.

Given her people's undeserved reputation, C-sec had held her for several hours before letting her wander around the wards. And the woman in the pink armor just looked dangerous. She seemed to be glaring, though she realized a moment later it was directed at the biotic.

"Did you get hurt in the fight?" The striped woman asked, concern clear in her voice, surprising Tali.

"I know how to look after myself." She answered.

The biotic looked at the blackened area caused by her mine. "So I can see." He said with a chuckle. "But considering that you were out-numbered 3 to one…"

"I do appreciate the help" Tali said to him. She turned back to the woman, who she was pretty sure was in charge. "Who are you?" she asked. She was surprised that humans would help her, to say nothing of the turian. She noticed he and the marine had finally holstered their guns.

"My name's Shepard. I'm looking for evidence to prove Saren's a traitor."

"Is that why it took you so long to catch up to me?" The biotic answered. He glanced behind him. "Speaking of which, what happened to Alenko and the big guy?"

"Kaidan just fell behind; we were running pretty fast. And I think Wrex went to take care of Fist."

"Ok, no, _I_ took care of Fist. Wrex showed up late. Killing someone I knocked out is a lot different than actually fighting them, then finishing them off."

"You do remember that you were violating orders when you did that?"

"It was an implied order only."

Both humans were now glaring at the Biotic.

"It sounds like I have two things to thank you for then." Tali said, privately wondering what they were talking about.

"If you have evidence to prove Saren's a traitor, that'd be a good way to thank us." He said.

"But not here. We need to go somewhere safe."

"Let's head to the ambassador's office at the Embassy" He said in a tone that made it clear he'd rather go anywhere else.

"Good idea" the Woman in pink said. "Udina will want to see this anyway."

"Yeah, but now I have to deal with a politician. In my book, that makes it the exact opposite of a good idea."

"Do you ever stop whining Bourne?"

"I'm `pretty sure I don't talk in my sleep."

She groaned. "With all due respect sir, I hate you."

_Keelah, what have I gotten myself into? _Tali wondered as they started moving.

* * *

**Well, that'll do for this chapter. I have to say, I was expecting this to be a lot harder. I guess since I have things more planned out/already written, I can just focus on removing excess crack and fixing convention errors.  
**

**I know I may have jinxed myself, but that's why I'm keeping a backlog. May have to switch to once a week updates instead of two a week, just a heads up. Hopefully I won't have to, but I'm trying to keep things regular and not just whenever I manage to finish another chapter.  
**

**Anyway, see you monday.**


	13. How Did I Not See That Coming?

Udina had his back to us as we walked in. "You two aren't making my life easy. Firefights in the wards? An all assault on Chora's Den? Do you know how much paperwork you've put on my desk?"

_Don't know, don't care. _

He turned around, his gaze solely focused on me. "And you especially Bourne! I knew that letting a mercenary join this cause was a bad idea!"

My eyes blazed dangerously. "Udina-"

He cut me off. "Your actions have erased what little hope we had left in this venture! Now Saren's actions can go unpunished, and humanity will be set back another decade! We won't even be able to get a Spectre now!"

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. _If I blast him, Shepard will kill me. At best. But-_

"You might as well-"

I activated my Biotics and hurled a stasis field at him. -_That doesn't mean the powers are off-limits. _He was frozen in blue energy as the rest of the group looked at me in shock, several of them with hands near weapons.

"Now then, since I have your attention Udina, here's what I want to happen. I want you to shut up and listen so I don't leave you in there permanently. Blink twice if you agree."

His eye lids were still able to move, and he did so. I ended the stasis, and waited to see if he'd start lecturing again/ He had apparently learned his lesson though. _I'm almost disappointed. If he'd ranted some more, I could've actually… Well, maybe next time._

"Now then, three things. First off, it's _ex-mercenary_, and if you call me otherwise one more time I'll do to you what I did to Fist. Which brings me to point two, which is that I'm the one that actually attacked Chora's Den. Shepard didn't show up until afterwards, so that one you can actually put on me instead. As for the firefight in the wards, that's because we were saving her." I gestured to Tali. "She has evidence that can link Saren to the Geth."  
I shook my head. "See, if you'd actually let us get a word in edgewise, you could have found that out a lot sooner, and I wouldn't have the strong urge to put you back in stasis anyway."

_Ok, that last part might be a lie. I'd still want to do that, just maybe not as much. Nah, who am I kidding?_

"Bourne, as much as I agree with you about him needing to be quiet, don't pull something like that again." Shepard's voice made it clear she wasn't asking, and added an unspoken "or else."

Udina apparently found his nerve again as Shepard spoke up. "Maybe we should just start at the beginning miss…?"

"My name is Tali. Tali'Zora nar Rayya."

I mentally cheered at the now public revelation, having had a difficult timepretending to not know her name._  
Of course, now I have to sit through all this about the pilgrimages. And the whole linking Saren to the Geth thing. Which I've heard more times than I can count.  
Guess no good deed goes unpunished here._

I mostly tuned out the conversation, already knowing pretty much everything that could be said. _And if I really need to, the perfect memory is probably picking all this up anyway._

_And I'm fairly sure all this won't change. Not if my theory is right. But without more evidence, a theory is all it is. And I'm not even sure what evidence there could be.  
And it's farfetched to start with. _

_On the other hand, we barely got there in time to save Tali, but we still made it. Just like in game. And now that I really think about it, we walked right through that alleyway on the way to Chora's den. Why wasn't she there then? It would have been, what, five minutes earlier?_

My mind drifted further away as my thoughts went deeper. _Did we really have to take Fist down to find her? Why couldn't I have just waited in that alley until she showed up? It's not like Fist is overly important to the timeline. If he dies, he's dead. If he lives, we can run into him on Omega. _

_Unless something is keeping things the way they should be. It's the only explanation. But as for what's keeping it all in check-_

"-to the return of the Reapers." Benezia's voice came from Tali's Omni-tool.

That name brought an instant end to my wonderings, and I refocused on the conversation.

"I don't recognize that second voice. The one talking about Reapers?" Udina commented.

"I can't really say why-" _because it'd make me sound nuts "-_ but I feel like I've heard that name before." I said.

"Yeah, I know the feeling." Shepard agreed.

"According to the memory core, the Reapers were a hyper-advanced machine race that existed 50,000 years ago. They hunted the Protheans to total extinction, and then they vanished… Or, at least that's what the Geth believe."

_The ironic thing is, while I'm sure it sounds insane to everyone else, that's one of the sanest things I've heard since waking up on Eden Prime. _

"Sounds a little far-fetched." Udina said.

"As I recall, the Council said something similar about Saren being a traitor. And look how well that prediction turned out."

Udina turned to glare at me.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with Bourne. That vision from the beacon, it's about the Reapers. The vision was of them wiping out the protheans." Shepard backed me up.

"That would explain it. I guess." I said.

"The Geth revere the Reapers as the pinnacle of non-organic life, and they believe Saren knows how to bring them back." Tali expanded upon it.

"The council is just going to love this." Udina muttered.

"Tell you what. Let's worry about the crazy Spectre first. Then we can try convincing the council that there's a race of giant robot boogeymen lurking out there somewhere." _As if they'll believe it before the evidence shows up and starts blowing crap up._

"For someone that actually saw them, you don't seem worried about them." Shepard commented.

"What I mean is that trying to convince the council seems like a lost cause."

"It's worth a try."

I grunted noncommittally. _If they actually believe it, I'll be pleasantly surprised. Apart from how hard my chin would be bruised from hitting the ground._

_It would make things a lot easier, but the way my luck's been going lately…_

"The Reapers are a threat to every species in Citadel Space. We have to tell them."

"I agree. But I seriously doubt the Council will feel the same way." _Seriously, I'm not even going to pretend it's possible._

Anderson shook his head. "Whatever they think about the rest of this, those audio files prove Saren's a traitor."

Udina nodded. "The captain's right. We need to present this to the council as soon as we can."

_That might be the first time we've ever actually agreed on something. Well, that and when he called the council "A bunch of self-concerned jackasses"_

"What about her?" Garrus asked, gesturing to Tali.

"You know, the same thing could be said about you." I pointed out. "Shepard's the one in charge here."  
I turned to her. "But personally commander, I'm not one to throw away talent. Garrus might almost be as good a shot as you."

"I wouldn't go that far. But I get what you're trying to say." Shepard said. "I was planning on asking you if you wanted to come along."

"Like I said to Bourne-"

"Actually, I cut you off before you could finish talking, remember?"

He glared at me. "Funny how history tends to repeat itself. Like how I have the same urge to punch you that I did when we first met."

I just grinned at that. "Yeah, I suppose that is rather funny."

"And you saw me in the alley Commander. You know what I can do. Let me come with you." Tali said.

_Yeah, you blew something up. Not exactly a unique skill set around here. But no sense in pointing that out. Besides, even if it was somehow a good idea not to bring her, and was somehow able to get Shepard's mind the same way, Udina would overturn the decision and put her onboard anyway._

_Better not to say anything I guess._

I suddenly realized that she and Shepard were already shaking hands, so it was decided anyway.

"Anderson and I will go ahead to get things ready with the council. It might be a while though; their schedule is almost full." Udina said.

"We'll let you know when they're ready for you." Anderson said.

Shepard looked at Garrus and Kaidan. "Saren already sent mercs once. And he's bound to find out that they're about to present the evidence to prove his actions"

"You want us to go with them and keep them safe?" Kaidan guessed.

"Pretty much."

_Hmm, with Kaidan off doing that, I'm the second highest ranking person here. Did she do that deliberately?_

_Then again, why in the hell would I want to complain about that?_

_Especially since it gets me away from Udina._

"So, what exactly are we supposed to do while we wait then?" Ashley pointed out.

"I guess we can just explore the citadel." Shepard answered.

"Sounds good to me." I lied. _Side quests. How did I not see that coming?_

"Isn't there a market down in the wards?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah, we passed it on the way to the med-clinic." I answered.

"Let's head down there then."

We opened the door, and I heard what I instantly recognized as an emotional elcor's voice. Which meant it basically sounded like "Distressed. Continue sentence in same flat tone and say whatever emotion a certain part is meant to be."

"I'll be right back." Shepard said, walking by us.

"Well, this can't possibly end well." I muttered.

Ashley looked like she agreed.

I got just far enough away from the door so I wouldn't hear the conversation. _Not something I want, not with my perfect memory._

"Hey Bourne, I just realized something." Ashley said.

"You realized how good looking I am?" I said with a smirk.

"You walked by the med clinic before realizing it was there, so how did you remember the wards?"

"I told you, I was making sure-"

She cut me off with one look.

I sighed. "Look, let's just say I have a good memory and leave it at that."

"Oh? Then what was the first thing I said to you?"

I chuckled. "I believe the exact phrase was 'who the hell are you?'"

She looked at me strangely.

I shrugged. "I hate to say I told you so-"

"Then maybe you shouldn't."

I chuckled and leaned against the wall.

Shepard came out of the room again a moment later. "Come on, we're going to see the Consort."

_Ok, no way am I letting __that __line pass by. _I thought as she walked past me. "I didn't think you swung that way Shepard."

She stopped mid-step. Slowly, she turned around. _Wow, I didn't know a face could be that red on a human. _I had to bite my tongue as the expression on her face made it hard to decide whether to laugh, or start running as far from her as possible.

"That is **Not **what I meant. Apparently, she's been leaking rumors about that elcor diplomat." Her tone made my decision for me.

I took a few steps back. And then a few more. "Geez, I was kidding." My eyes glowed, but this time it was because I was trying to keep my biotics from covering me in a barrier to protect myself.

She glared at me a few moments more, then turned around and kept walking, face still red.

I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. _Now that was a close call._

_Weird that she reacted like that though… unless… what the hell am I thinking? No way can she _actually_ swing that way, right?  
Can she? I mean, I did want her to be something new, and I only ever went after Liara with maleshep. _

I had a sudden urge to kick myself. _I've been shot at multiple times, I have superpowers, and I'm trying to save the galaxy, and yet I'm wasting time trying to figure out if there's going to be chicks making out on the ship? … maybe wasting is the wrong word. _

_Argh, get your mind out of the gutter Bourne! Just focus on saving the galaxy for right now. That's more than enough to worry about. _

"Excuse me, Commander Shepard? Could I have a moment of your time?" I heard someone ask. I turned and saw Samesh standing near the foot of the stairs.

"How about I go see what he wants, and you go enjoy the consort's company?" I suggested.

"Bourne…" She warned.

"Lighten up Shepard."

Her expression changed from angry to murderous.

I backed away slowly.

"You and Ashley go talk to him. If he needs something from me specifically, wait until I'm done with this consort thing. By then I'll hopefully be more relaxed."

Despite my best efforts, I couldn't keep my face completely composed as she said that.

So she realized a moment later exactly what she'd said. "If you say a single word-"

I managed to get my face emotionless again, though I still had to bite my tongue to keep from grinning.

"Why do I have to go with him again?" Ashley asked.

I resisted the urge to answer that, not wanting to piss the two women off any further.

"Because if I have to spend one more minute with him, I'm going to do something I'd regret. And if I let him loose without supervision, he's going to do something I regret."

Suppressing another comment that would no doubt land me in hot water, Ashley and I went over to Samesh, Shepard staring daggers into my back the whole time.

"Sorry, Shepard is a bit… occupied at the moment. Is this something we can help you with?"

He hesitated, and for a second I wondered if I actually would be able to do this instead of Shepard doing it. But then I saw something on his face, the look of a man with nothing to lose.

"My name is Samesh Bhatia. My wife was in the 212 on Eden Prime."

"Wait," Ashley interrupted "your wife was Servicemen Narihili Bhatia?"

_Ok, not sure how this slipped my mind. But, since it'll take longer thanks to her, Shepard will have more time to cool off and maybe lose the urge to shoot me. _

"I'm Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams. I served in her unit."

"Chief Williams? It is a pleasure. Narihilli spoke of you with great respect."

"I'm very sorry for your loss Mr. Bhatia. She was a good woman."

I cut into the conversation again. "So then, what is it you need?"

"I've requested that my wife's body be returned to me for cremation. But the military has refused my request."

"Do you know why?" _Because I do. So now I just need to get him to tell me who to talk to, then I can do my good deed for the day. Well, besides the whole stopping Saren thing. And the saving Tali thing. _

"No. All I know is that they have declared it impossible for my wife's body to be returned to me."

Ashley put it much better than I could. "Don't worry. We'll make sure this is put right."

"Do you know who's in charge of your case?" I asked. Well, pretended to ask since I already knew.

"Mr. Bosker. When I last saw him he was in the expensive bar over there. Thank you for your help- " he paused. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."

"Bourne. Jason Bourne." _And I again sound like 007 when I say that. In hindsight, maybe I could've come with a name ahead of time instead of making a split second decision when I met up with Shepard. Well, could be worse. A lot worse._

"I simply want to make sure my wife's body is given the proper respect."

I went up the stairs to go talk to him. _By which I mean *Talk* to him. Which is probably going to end up involving glowing eyes and threats._

"How will we know which one is Bosker?" Ashley asked.

"Well, he's some sort of lawyer, so I'm expecting horns and a forked tail."

"I'm serious."

I saw him standing against the wall. "Let's ask that guy if he's seen him." _He probably has if he's looked in the mirror lately. _

"Excuse me, do you know if one of these people is Mr. Bosker?" I asked, standing in front of him.

"That would be me. How can I help you?"

I turned to Ashley "What do you know? First time lucky." I gave her a look that said to let me handle this. _Which she might ignore, but at least I tried._

"I'm Operations Chief Bourne, with the Alliance military. I'm here on behalf of Samesh Bhatia." I crossed my arms.  
"He said that you refused his request to have his wife's body returned. I was hoping you could explain why." There was the slightest hint of a threat in my voice, though he apparently didn't notice it with my face completely blank.

"Ah, Mr. Bhatia. I'm sorry he dragged you into this, but there's really nothing you can do for him."

_Hmm, I was half expecting that to happen. This is meant to be Shepard's job after all. Well, maybe if I drop her name it'll do the trick. Or I'll be in the same spot and know that I can't do Shepard's jobs for her._

"Hmm, maybe Shepard would be able to do something for him then."

"Shepard?" Bosker asked, surprised.

"Commander Shepard. My CO."

He hesitated, and I knew from the look on his face that it had worked. "Well, maybe Shepard could help him."

"Then maybe you should explain it to me, and I can tell her."

He hesitated again, but nodded. "As Mr. Bhatia no doubt told you, Servicemen Nariili Bhatia died on Eden Prime. Her wounds are inconsistent with any known weapons. That's why her body is being held."

"I fail to see a connection."

"By conducting tests on her body, and the wounds, we hope to be able to develop better weapons against Geth attacks."

"You're holding her body so you can dissect her like a Science Project!" Ashley exploded.

There was only one thing on my mind when I saw Ashley's reaction: _This guy is so dead. _

"With all due respect, she may save more lives in death than she ever did in life."

_Oh come on dude, even I know enough about women to know you just screwed up with that line._

Ashley took a step forward threateningly, and I held an arm up to hold her back.

"I understand what you're trying to do, but we both know this isn't right." I said. _Or particularly smart. _A moment later, I realized I'd inadvertently addressed them both.

Bosker shook his head regretfully, and Ashley stopped trying to get past me and tear the idiot a new one. I was surprised but grateful for that.

I doubted that I would have been able to stop her without hurting her, something I didn't want to do.

_Which I don't want to do. _I actually surprised myself with the thought, but I didn't have time to dwell on it further before Bosker's voice broke through my thoughts.

"I'm sorry but it isn't up to you." Bosker said.

_Ok, time to stop being nice. _"Look. My friend here was in Ms. Bhatia's unit, and I really am starting not to like you. And we're both serving under _The _Commander Shepard. I'm betting you had a hard enough time rejecting Mr. Bhatia. You'll never be able to reject someone like her."

He tried to speak up, but I plowed on and cut him off

"Look, it would take about three minutes to turn this whole thing into a big media incident. Then, people are all going to start hating on the Alliance, and all the pencil pushers are going to be looking for someone to blame. And I'll be sure that they blame you, Bosker."

He opened his mouth to speak again, but I raised a hand, cutting him off.

"Or you can just turn over Ms. Bhatia's body to her husband, and we can forget this whole unpleasant event never happened."_ Ah, renegade options. Gotta love them. _

He sighed. "Alright, you win. I'm not going to risk an incident over this. Go tell Samesh his wife's body is being shipped back to Earth. I'll see to it personally."

I smirked. "Smart move pal." I let my grin fade. "But if I hear that the body doesn't get back to him, you'll be the first one I go after."

I turned away before he could reply, and walked back down stairs to Samesh.

"Chief Bourne? Did you have any luck convincing Mr. Bosker?"

Ashley interrupted, and I let her tell him the good news. Before he turned to walk away, she added one more thing. "Samesh, I don't know if this helps, but Nirili loved you very much." She forced a smile. "She missed your cooking and she played recordings of you every night before she went to sleep."

Samesh nodded. "I know Ms. Williams. But thank you. It is nice to hear it again."

With that, he walked away.

"Hmm, think this'll keep Shepard from murdering me?" I asked jokingly.

"I think the only way to make that happen would be to never talk again." She replied.

_Yeah, that'll happen… when pigs fly._

"In all seriousness though, thank you. It's good to know that she'll get the respect she deserves."

I wasn't quite sure how to respond to that, so I stayed silent.

"You keep doing stuff like this, I might not mind spending time with you so much."

"Uh, thanks? I think?"

She chuckled. "Come on, let's see if we can find Shepard."

"Aren't I the one in charge?" I said wryly. "I think I should avoid going near Shepard until she's had some time to cool off."

"Scared?"

"Well, it's not that I'm scared, far from it. It's just that I have this policy about dying: it's not really my thing."

"So that's a yes then?"

"Maybe we should go down to the markets and look around until Shepard says she needs us."

My radio suddenly started beeping.

"Or maybe not." _Ok, is she spying on us or something? Because that seems like the only way the timing could be that perfect.  
Well, there is that other theory which has almost no proof yet. _

_Ok, I have got to get real. I mean, do I honestly believe that I'm somehow bending reality to fit what I know is meant to happen?_

_Huh, I thought actually saying it like that would make it sound less believable, but now I think I believe it._

_Whatever, I have bigger problems anyway._

"So how did your meeting with the consort go?" I asked as I answered.

"… I'm just going to pretend that was an innocent question instead of something that makes me want to hit you."

"Works for me."

* * *

**Alright, that'll do it for... well, probably this week. I'm making good progress with the updates, but it's not enough to keep up a cushion and upload twice a week.**

**And since I started another story that I'm also somewhat working on, that'll also slow things down a bit. **

**Hopefully before too long I'll be able to just make some minor edits and have the chapter done. Don't know when exactly that'll happen, but that's my end goal.**

**Though based on some of the reviews, I might change things I wasn't going to change before. No promises but, if there was anything in the original version that irked you... now's the time to say it.**

**I'd also like to thank those of you that have given me feedback, since almost all of it has been good. I was a bit worried at first that it was stupid to do this instead of a sequel, but I'm glad that I was wrong about that.  
**

**Cause you guys are half the reason I write this thing. I mean, I'd probably do it anyway since I enjoy doing it, but it's a lot more fun when you know that other people are enjoying it too.**

**Man, got kinda sappy there for minute. Anyway, see you next week. **


	14. Wait, Seriously?

Shepard walked out of the Consort's office, and waved Tali over from where she'd been waiting in front of the Krogan memorial.

"So, where to now?" Tali asked her.

"Well, I think I should check in on the other two before we do anything else." She replied, activating her com.

"So, how'd your *meeting* with the consort go?" Bourne answered.

She took a deep breath. "I'm just going to pretend that was an innocent question instead something that makes me want to hit you."

"Works for me."

"So how much trouble have you gotten into without me?"

"Eh, not too much. Beating up a Krogan, resisting arrest, stealing a C-sec shuttle, some red sand- you know, the usual." Shepard couldn't remember hearing so much sarcasm in a single sentence in her life.

"What, no Asari hookers?"

"… did you not just walk out of such a place?"

_And right into that joke, apparently. _ "What were you really doing?"

"Turns out the guy's wife was in Ashley's unit back on Eden Prime. They wanted to hold her body for study, see if they could learn anything from Geth Weapons."

"Why do I get the feeling violence was involved on your end?"

"Nope, no violence. I just calmly explained to the guy in charge why keeping the body instead of returning it was a bad idea."

"So there was implied violence?"

"Well, Ashley looked like she wanted to beat him into a pulp, does that count?"

"You're telling me you didn't threaten him at all?" Shepard said skeptically.

"I didn't say that. I told him if he didn't return the body, we'd make it into a big public incident, so the Alliance would lose a lot of public support and he'd probably lose his job. He agreed pretty quickly after that."

"Ah, so it was blackmail."

"…I suppose you could call it that. At least it was blackmail for a good cause."

Shepard sighed. "Alright, when you're done causing trouble, meet Tali and I at Chora's Den."

"Why? I already took care of Fist. And shot just about everyone else that was there."

"I don't really understand how, but it's open for business again."

"… How is that even possible?"

"I said I didn't understand it. Bottom line is: The Turian General that started circulating the rumors about the consort is probably there."

"Alright, I guess I'll see you there then. I guess I can always try getting him to stop my way if you can't. Not like I didn't already put a dozen bullet holes in the wall."

"You're that bad of a shot?"

"… Touché Shepard. Touché."

"Just do me a favor and don't do all that unless I say so."

"Come on, I'm not _completely_ trigger happy with _no_ self-control."

"Am I still talking to the right person?"

"I didn't shoot Udina. "

"No, you just put him in stasis."

"Exactly. He is un-shot."

She groaned.

"Alright, I'll see you there."

"I'll be sure to have my safeties just in case you make another joke." Shepard said, actually double checking them.

"Oh come on, I'm not that- yeah probably a good idea. Speaking of which, did you remember to schedule a second appointment with her?"

Shepard just hung up when he said that. But it wasn't just because it made her mad, it was because it was closer to the mark than he probably knew.

She'd always been strangely attracted to Asari, though she doubted that Bourne actually knew that. _To him, it's probably just a stupid joke. Especially with a prostitute like Sha'ira involved. _

"Come on, let's take a rapid transit cab. It's faster than walking, and a lot faster than the elevators."

* * *

Shepard stepped out of the car, and saw us waiting for her.

"So, remind me why we're doing this again?"

Shepard looked slightly surprised. "What do you mean?"

"Did you forget your cred chit when you went in there and this is how-"

"You do not want to finish that sentence Bourne."

"… Well, I do, but I want to continue breathing more than I want to finish the joke."

"So, Bourne said that we're looking for a Turian General?" Ashley said, changing the subject before I could dig myself deeper.

"Yeah, for some reason he's been spreading rumors about Sha'ira."

"What, you're on a first name basis with her now? Wow, she must really-"

Shepard slugged me in the arm hard enough for me to feel through the armor.

"If you were any less of a good fighter, I'd have you drilled out of the military so fast it would make your head spin."

"I'm sorry, who was it who took Fist down? Never mind, you weren't there so how would you know?"

She glared at me, but I could tell she knew I was right. I let my face look smug for a moment before I got it back into "poker face mode."

"Let's just see if we can find him and get this over with."

"Works for me." _The sooner we're done, the sooner we can get after Saren._

She led us into the bar, and some of the patrons seemed to recognize me. A quick glowing glare in their direction was enough to discourage most of them.

A few kept staring, a hand on a gun.

Shepard led us over to Septimus, the General, and I leaned against the wall so I could keep an eye on anyone who might get trigger-happy.

"Commander Shepard." He clearly wasn't in the mood to talk, judging by his voice, and the drinks in front of him. "What do you want?"

"I'm here on Sha'ira's behalf. Your lies are hurting her."

"Good. Her lies have been hurting me for days."

I rolled my eyes. _How melodramatic can you get? _

_If it was a girlfriend, I might have some sympathy. But getting this drunk because a hooker doesn't return your calls? That's just pathetic. _

"I've seen a lot of horrible things in my time, and there's only one woman in the whole damn galaxy that can help me forget."

_Seriously, what did you expect? That's basically her job._

"You mean one Asari in the galaxy?"

All of us just looked at Shepard in confusion.

"You know, the whole mono-gendered thing? So they aren't technically women?"

I sighed and just covered my eyes with my hand. "Know what? I'm not even commenting on that one."

"That might be a first." Shepard muttered.

"Besides, does it really matter?" Septimus asked rhetorically. "She's the only one who can-"

"Then why spread lies about her if you feel that way?" I cut across, not wanting to hear more of his whining.

"Because she rejected me! ME! Septimus! General of the-"

"Yeah, I think we got the idea. You got rejected by an upper-class _whore_. It looks to me like you're just whining at this point."

He glared at me, then turned back to Shepard. "I… Appreciate what you're trying to do, but don't waste your time."

_Not to mention everyone else's time. I mean, seriously, Shepard could've been dragging us around looking for keepers, something for science. Or those two arguing whether or not to get the gene treatments for the kid, something worthwhile.  
Instead, Shepard's reward is going to be some weird-ass fortune telling...Well, I'm assuming that's as far as she'd go. _

_Great, there's an image I'll never be able to get out of my head. Stupid perfect memory._

"Did you ever win a battle by sitting in a bar and trying to drink your troubles away?" Shepard asked him.

He gave a humorless laugh. "It certainly feels like war these days." He leaned back in his chair. "How did it come to this?"

"Do you _really _want me to answer that?"

"No Bourne, he doesn't." Shepard said, glaring at me.

"You really think it's so easy then? Just straighten up and act like a general?"

"Yeah, pretty much." Shepard and I looked at each other in surprise. _Huh, that's twice that's happened now. _

"Is that getting creepy to anyone else, or is it just me?" I asked.

She ignored me and turned back to the general.

"Maybe you two have a point. She's worth the effort, even if she won't have me back."

_Seriously dude, you're going to try apologizing to her, just so you can keep throwing hundreds of creds down the drain? How about you just try getting a girlfriend? Do they not having online dating in the future?  
_

"I agree. This is no place for someone of your stature general." Shepard said, almost chiding him.

_Ok, now we go back to the elcor, then hopefully someone will call us and I can go watch Shepard yell at the council some more._

_Man, that Elcor is probably going to be all emotional too, so I'll almost die trying not to laugh._

_But then again, Shepard will have to go talk to the consort again, so at least I can hit her with a joke on the way out._

* * *

"Ok, all jokes aside, she has been in there forever." I muttered as Ashley, Tali and I waited outside the consort's office.

"What, are you jealous?" Ashley said, sounding annoyed.

"Asari aren't really my thing, so no."

She looked at me skeptically. "I recall you saying something in Chora's Den about-"

"That was a joke." _Mostly. _

"Uh-huh."

"What? It was! I mean, they might be easy on the eyes, but the whole brain melding thing is not something I want to try out." _Especially with everything going around in my head. _

She still seemed skeptical. "So, if Asari aren't your type, what is your type?"

"I know I'm new to the military thing, but is this normally the type of thing soldiers talk about?"

"Not really, but I somehow doubt you care too much about those types of protocols."

"Yeah, good point." I shrugged. "Thanks to my… circumstances, I haven't really had any sort of lasting relationship."

_Which is technically true. I don't remember anything, so it might even be actually true._

"What? I'd think you'd just be pulling in the ladies."

"Is that an admission of something?" I asked slyly.

She turned slightly red, and looked a little embarrassed.

I laughed. "Let's just say there weren't a whole lot of suitors lining up on Omega."

"Omega?" She asked, curiosity piqued.

"Hellhole in the middle of the terminus. Leaving that place was the best idea I ever had." I shook my head. _If I'm going to spill my guts about my *past*, it ought to be to Shepard, and somewhere a little more private._

"I really don't like talking about it." I said, looking towards the building and seeing Shepard walking out.

"Geez, Shepard, what took you so long?" I asked her.

"I'm not even going to reply to that Bourne." She turned to the other two. "Just got a message from Udina. The Council is ready to hear the evidence."

"Let's hope they believe it this time." _Because if they don't… ok, I can't think of a good metaphor, but it's going to suck. _

* * *

"Come on, Udina's presenting the evidence to the Council." Anderson waved us in as we approached.

Kaidan and Garrus were standing not far behind the ambassador.

I heard the recording play again, and I felt a chill as I heard Saren's voice in all its evil glory. Before he had only sounded menacing, but then he had been hiding his true self from the Council.  
I'd been too busy thinking to really hear the recording the first time, but this time I was paying much closer attention.

I wasn't sure of a lot of things anymore, but I was sure that signing up to stop Saren was the most important thing I'd ever done.

"You wanted proof? There it is." Udina said.

_For once Udina, I couldn't have had put it better myself._

"This evidence is irrefutable Ambassador. Saren will be stripped of his Spectre status and all efforts will be made to bring him in to answer for his crimes."

_I love how there's not even a hint of an apology. Hmm, now would be a good time for some "I told you" line. Well, other than the fact that I've probably pushed Shepard far enough for one day. Or week.  
_

_Then again, since I'm the one that took Fist down and rescued Tali, and am therefore indirectly responsible for the fact that she'll be made a spectre in a few minutes, I think I might've earned it._

"I'm more interested in the Reapers."

Again the name of the real enemy got my attention refocused on the conversation.

"What do you know about them?" The salarian asked us all.

"According to the Geth's memory core, they were an ancient race of machines that wiped out the protheans." Anderson said.

_Geez, for all your combat experience Anderson, you suck at being subtle with things like that. I mean, I know I'm the pot calling the kettle black here, but-  
_

"The Geth consider the Reapers to be their gods, and they think Saren can bring them back somehow." I added to Anderson's words.

"We think the Conduit is the key to bringing them back. Saren's searching for it. That's why he attacked Eden Prime."

"Do we even know what this Conduit is?" The salarian asked.

"They think it can bring back the Reapers. That's bad enough." Shepard and I said at the same time.

_Ok, seriously, that is really getting creepy. I hope I don't start ending every conversation with "I should go" too.  
_

"Listen to what you're saying! Saren wants to bring back the machines that wiped out all life in the galaxy? Impossible." The turian said dismissively.

"I seem to recall you saying something similar about Saren being a traitor." I commented.

"Then where did the Reapers go? Why did they vanish? How come we've found no trace of their existence?"

_In order, dark space, so they could wait another 50,000 years to harvest us, and because you keep confusing Reaper tech for Prothean tech._

"If they were real, we'd have found something."

_Oh how I'd love to tell you everything that proves you wrong.  
But while the look on your face would be extremely satisfying-assuming I'd be able to read a Turian's face-it would completely screw up the timeline._

"We tried to warn you about Saren, and you refused to face the truth. Don't make the same mistake twice." Shepard admonished them.

"This is different." The asari insisted. "You proved Saren's betrayed the Council. We all agree he's using the Geth to search for the Conduit, but we don't really know why."

"Did we not just tell you like, what, 50 seconds ago?" I said.

"The Reapers are obviously just a myth Bourne. A convenient lie to cover up-"

"Or you three are completely wrong, in which case I hope I'm there to say I told you so when proof is found."

Shepard stepped past me, shooting me a look as she did. "50,000 years ago, the Reapers wiped out all galactic civilization. If Saren finds the Conduit-"

"-Then we're all screwed." I cut across.

She shot me another dirty look.

"What? It means the same thing as what you'd have said. I just was more honest about it."

"Saren is a rogue agent on the run for his life. He no longer the rights and resources of a spectre. We've stripped him of his position." The Turian pointed out.

"That's not good enough!"

I instantly wanted to wash my mouth out with soap for saying the same thing as Udina. _Hell, boiling water wouldn't ever make it feel clean. Hydrochloric acid maybe?_

"You know he's hiding in the Traverse. Send your fleet in." Udina said, ignoring my outburst.

I sighed. "I cannot believe I'm saying this, but Udina is right."

"A fleet can't track down a single man." The Turian scoffed.

"A citadel fleet could keep the geth from attacking anymore of our colonies."

"Or trigger a war with the Terminus Systems."

I sighed. "I really hate politics."

"We won't be dragged into a galactic confrontation over a few human colonies."

"So you're just going to sit on your asses and let Saren do whatever he wants?" I said skeptically.

"Bourne is right!" Udina said. "I'm tired of this council and it's anti human bul-"

"Ambassador!" The asari interrupted. "There is another solution, one that does not involve fleets or armies."

_And, cue Turian objection._

"No! It's too soon! Humanity is not ready for the responsibilities that come with joining the Spectres."

I crossed my arms. "In case you didn't notice, Shepard already did something in a few hours that all of C-sec and you guys couldn't do in an entire day."

"That is-"

"It's win-win. You don't have to put a fleet in the traverse, the ambassador gets his human Spectre, Shepard stops Saren and the Geth, and you guys actually do something right for a change."

After a moment of glaring at me for the last bit, he reluctantly nodded.

"Wait." Shepard held a hand up.

_Huh? That wasn't supposed to happen._

"If I'm going to do this, it's on one condition."

_They should've just moved on to a big dramatic cutscene, and she should've just gone along with it._

"Condition? What Condition?" The asari asked.

"Bourne becomes a Spectre too."

Her declaration was met with stunned silence. I had pretty good control of my face most of the time, but my jaw dropped as I realized what she'd said. Mine wasn't the only one either.

"You want us to promote a merc-"

"Ex-mercenary!" I corrected on reflex.

"- Ex- mercenary to Spectre status?" The Turian amended.

"Why not? He's as good a Biotic as they come, he got the same vision I did back on Eden Prime, and he's already helped me. Hell, he's the one that did most of the work dealing with Fist."

_Ok, someone pinch me, because I'm pretty sure I'm dreaming. Of course, since I might already be dreaming, that would make this inception, but seriously what is going on?_

I was expecting the council to object- _hell, I'm thinking about it mysel_f- but what I saw on their faces was much more surprising.

_Wait, are they actually considering it? What the heck is going on?_

My mind raced as I tried to figure out what might be going on. _We literally haven't even known each other two days! Why would Shepard-_

_No, it can't be. It's impossible._

"Hmm, having two Spectres on the same case is rare, but against someone as experienced as Saren it might not be such a bad idea." The Salarian said.

_So they're just ignoring the fact that they don't know me at all? But why?_

_I mean, I was barely able to get a lousy clerk to release a body, and that was only by bringing up Shepard! _

"Hmm, it is rather unexpected." The asari said, but it was in such a way that it sounded like she was saying yes.

_You__ think its unexpected lady? I'm the one who's from another reality where this is just a video game, who's now basically becoming a second protagonist!... Christ I need to find a new way to put that._

I had to admit, it was better than being just another squadmate, but still...

My mind suddenly went 'eureka!' as I pieced the puzzle together.

With my knowledge, it would be impossible for me to remain on the sidelines. But if I was like Shepard, if she trusted me, then very little would change.

A team instead of just Shepard, but that would be the only difference.

It was the only way to have all this play out the same way.

_It would make the whole warping reality thing a lot more convincing of a theory. Hmm, if I could figure out a way to control it…_

"Very well." The Turian finally said.

_Well, I was trying to set him on fire, not make him agree, but close enough I guess. For now._

_Now then, can someone please promote me?_

_Because no way should Alenko outrank the Spectre. That'd just be freaking ridiculous. _

I allowed myself to tune out during the Council's speech.

"Any idea where to find Saren?" Shepard asked.

"We will forward any relevant files to Udina" The Turian said testily_. Can't say I'm surprised he's pissed though. He didn't like just promoting Shepard, let alone both of us. _

"This meeting is adjourned." The Asari said.

Anderson shook Shepard's hand. "Congratulations." He turned to me. "I'm a bit surprised to be congratulating you Bourne, but nonetheless."

I shook his offered hand.

Udina looked annoyed. "I wish that you would have told me you were doing this ahead of time."

Kaidan looked like he agreed.

"But nevermind that. We have a lot of work to do. You're going to need a ship, a crew, supplies…"

"You should go down to C-sec and talk to the requistions officer." Anderson suggested.

"Anderson! Come with me, I'll need your help to set all this up."

_God, what an ass. _

Now that I was a Spectre, the freedom from the law meant I could've shot him then and there…

I noticed the look that Shepard was giving me and quickly cut off that line of thought.

She turned to the other four. "Can you excuse us for a minute?"

_Well, that does not bode well._

_Or, maybe it does. Who can tell with her?_

"Bourne, we need to talk."

_Ok, I'm going back to the first theory._

* * *

**And that'll do it for this chapter. See you guys next week. **


	15. I'll take it

Shepard waited for the others to leave, then turned to her fellow Spectre.

"Bourne, we need to talk."

His face showed no expression, as was typical. "You first. I'll admit that I act like one on occasion, but I'm not an idiot Shepard. I know what it means to get a human into the Spectres. Yet you risked all that to get me in? I mean, 'on one condition?' Seriously?" He seemed to consider saying more, but only said "Why?"

Shepard opened her mouth to speak, then stopped. She really didn't know. It was a pure spur of the moment thing. She had reasons, but putting them into words seemed impossible.

"It's… difficult to explain." She said finally. "The short version is that I know talent when I see it."

He seemed to mull that over for a moment. "While this might be an odd question given what just happened, do you trust me?" He asked, surprising her.

They'd only met yesterday, but for some reason she couldn't place, the answer was yes. Though there was a small part of her that thought otherwise, she'd trust her life to him in a heart beat.

"If I didn't trust you, do you think you'd still be here?"

"That's not much of an answer."

"It wasn't much of a question."

"Fair enough. I trust you, but I guess you've got good reasons if the feeling isn't mutual."

Shepard looked away for a moment, thinking.

Her original purpose had been to get him to own up to his past, especially given how much he hated being reminded of it.

But that would have been to figure out if she could trust him, something she'd realized she already knew the answer to. She turned back to him, deciding on another route. She liked getting to know her subordinates, talking to them often between missions. But she'd come to realize that trying to get them to reveal it all rarely worked. Bourne was clearly not going to be an exception.

"I just wanted to lay down some ground rules." She said, trying to hide her original intentions. She didn't know if he'd fall for it, but it was worth a try.

"Got it. Drinking is allowed as long as I don't get completely drunk."

She glared at him. "You aren't even going to try to take this seriously, are you?"

"Did you expect me to?"

"Yes, I do." She said, in a tone that seemed to finally get through his thick head. "You might not realize it, but ever since you've arrived on the Citadel, everyone's been watching you. Now, they'll even more-"

"Yeah, I get the idea. Whatever I do reflects back on Humanity, blah blah blah."

"It's amazing that you know that, yet you act so-"

"Shepard, you're the one that signed me up for the Spectre thing. Maybe I would've taken it myself they'd offered, maybe I wouldn't have. But I'm not changing who I am just because of some promotion."

He held up a hand, forestalling her reply. "Look, I'll at least make an effort to act more- professional, for lack of a better term- in public."

_Which obviously means he's not going to change a thing in private_ "It's a start at least." She said.

"But don't forget, we both are Spectres. That puts us on a level field." Bourne reminded her.

Shepard nodded. That had been one reason she was sure about when she suggested making him a Spectre. She hadn't technically given him an order to stay away from Fist, though she knew that he would have gone even if she had. And if she'd done that, then the whole investigation would have fallen apart.

In a circumstance like that, she didn't care, but the higher ups would.

"Heck, now I could flip off an Admiral if I wanted to, and he wouldn't be able to do a thing about it." Bourne mused.

_Not quite how I would put it, but that more or less sums it up._

"You know you said that out loud, right?" She asked.

"… Well, I do now."

She shook her head. "Maybe we should worry about all that later."

"I have no problem with that."

* * *

_This damn elevator on the other hand, I _do_ have a problem with. _

I did the mental equivalent of a shrug. _I guess it could be a lot worse. I mean, I'm a Spectre now! A honest to god mother flipping Spectre! I couldn't have planned that better if I'd tried!_

And better than that, Shepard seemed to trust me. That would take me pretty far in the long run.

The doors slid open, and I fought back a sigh of relief that the elevator ride was finally over.

Until I heard loud footsteps to my right, and saw Wrex walking towards me.

_Ok, I'm not great at reading a Krogan face, but I'm going on a limb and guessing he's pissed off. _

"Bourne. Shepard." He said in greeting.

_Then again, that's really just his default expression._

"Didn't expect to see you again Wrex." Shepard said.

To be honest, I'd completely forgotten it as well, with everything else going on. I had done playthroughs where I met up with him after taking down Fist; but since Shepard had already talked to him I half-expected he'd be long gone.

"I wasn't expecting it either." He replied. His gaze turned to me. "But that's not my only surprise today."

"Is it too late to apologize for that? I mean, the face punching wasn't deliberate." I had to work to keep my biotics from manifesting on instinct.

"Fist is dead."

"….I kinda figured that'd happen when you went back there."

"I mean, he was dead when I got there."

Extremely negative thoughts began swarming through my head; the last time something had differed from in game, I'd become the second human Spectre. It was too much to hope for that my luck would be so good twice in a row.

"Somebody beat you to it?" Shepard asked in surprise.

"Yeah. Bourne."

"What? I only hit him hard enough to knock him out." Not that I was going to lose much sleep over it if it had been me. I'd left him alive, but not out of mercy. I'd left him there for Wrex.

_Guess that's a side effect of waking up merged with a Renegade. Well, if it means I can do all this without crying or being completely traumatized, I can deal with that._

He shrugged. "He had a cracked skull. Must've hit him harder than you thought."

He took a step towards me, and though I wouldn't have thought it possible, he looked even more menacing.

"When I get paid to do a job, I finish it. Alone."

This time I was less successful in holding my powers back, and they flared around me. "Remember what happened last time you got in my face? You might want to back off a little bit." _Wrex only got in Shepard's face if Fist was killed without his help, and never pulled a gun till Virmire. My gut says he's not going to it now either. _

Of course my gut also said that it might have been completely wrong. Hence the Biotics.

He stepped back to how he'd been before. "I didn't finish this job. You did. I had the money transferred to your account."

"Wait, hold up. You're paying him for getting rid of Fist?" Shepard asked.

"Told you you should have gotten there sooner." I said with a hint of a smile.

"I'm not taking credit for someone else's work."

_You could've just said that you know. You didn't have to go all 'big bad dinosaur.'_

"I like the way you two handle things. And if you're going after Saren, I'm thinking I should come along."

Shepard looked at me, than back at Wrex. "Aren't you a mercenary?. What do you get out of going after Saren?"

"Riiiiiight, because it's not like there's anyone else here that's ever been a mercenary." I said sarcastically.

"I'm not in this for the money. I want to be where the Action is." Wrex said.

"I think I like this guy."

"There's a storm coming Shepard. You, Bourne and Saren are right in the middle of it."

"Why us? Saren already has Plenty of Krogan working for him." Shepard said.

_Come on, nobody else thought that was even a little bit funny? Or the 'yeah, nobody else here is a mercenary'? God, at this rate it'll be over two years before I meet someone with a sense of humor. At least, I hope Kasumi still shows up, considering I paid 560 points for that DLC._

"Those aren't Krogan! They're servants. They grovel at Saren's feet to lick his boots-"

"Alright alright you've convinced me." I interrupted. No way was I letting him go on a rant about the Krogan. It'd last for hours.

Wrex shot me what even I could tell was a glare and turned back to Shepard. "I won't bow down to Saren like the others.

"Welcome aboard Wrex."

"Oh, sure, don't consult the second Spectre or anything. Just feel free to make the decision on your own."

"Bourne, two things. One, you wouldn't be a Spectre if I hadn't suggested it. And two, I outrank you."

"Yeah, but didn't we already establish that ranking doesn't matter all that much with the Spectre thing?"

"Didn't we also establish how hard I can punch?"

"So, Anderson suggested we talk to the requisitions officer, how about we go do that."

She rolled her eyes. "Fine with me."

I let myself tune out as the guy looked us up, and opened the door to stacks of crates that held the various armor and guns.

Which judging from the muttered curses, were too expensive for Shepard to afford.

_Man, she's looked at like every sniper rifle here. I bet if she ever gets her hands on a Widow, she's going to sleep with the damn thing._

I leaned against a wall, bored. The others were looking around too, but it was pretty clear they were short on funds as well.

Something suddenly caught my eye, and I walked over to it. They looked like the arm guards to a set of armor, just lying out on top of a crate.

"What's the deal with these?"

The requisition's officer turned to look, though I got the feeling it was also to get out of the discussion he was having with Shepard over the price of a new gun. Specifically, that she thought it was way too high.

"Oh, those must have not been put away in the right spot." He said, walking over to me.

He picked one up, and the look on his face instantly changed.

"Something wrong?"

"These should be in evidence, not down here."

_A pair of arm guards? Unless Wonder Woman robbed a bank…_

Curiosity made me grab the other one with my biotics before he could. "What's so special about these?"

"That is a classified matter."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm a Spectre, remember? Consider it unclassified." I examined it, and noticed that it had slight indents wrapping around it.

"You might as well tell him." Shepard sighed. "He's too stubborn to give up until you do."

"I prefer to call myself persistent."

"I'm sure you do."

The req officer sighed. "We arrested a group of blue suns mercs a while back. One of them was really fond of knives."

He opened the crate the arms bands had been on. "I figured those would be in here." He pulled out a small metal rectangle, and hit a button on the side. A blade shot out, and I realized it was some sort of futuristic switch blade.

"Apparently the guy designed these himself." He retracted the blade and set it into one of the indents on the armguard.

"So, the thing's designed to hold a ton of knives?"

"And there's a belt for spares." He reached to put it away, then stopped. "There is one other impressive thing he added."

He slid the device onto his own arm, then hit a button near the bottom. The indents for the knives rotated until the knife was lined up with his hand, then it slid down to the closest row to his hand. He hit another button, and the knife slid forward into the palm of his hand.

"It still needed a little work, but I'm glad we caught him when we did. Someone with that many knives as that… he was really good at throwing them too."

_Ok, let's look at the facts. He said those are supposed to be in evidence, but they ended up here the day I show up. I also determined that I seem to be able to warp reality. Geez, even Watson could figure this out, without Holmes' help."_

"I'd hate to be on the receiving end of-"

"I'll take it."

He looked at me in surprise.

_The way he kept beating me over the head with how deadly it could be, I really don't get how he's surprised. No way am I passing this up._

"What do you mean you'll take it? It's not for sale, it's evidence in a pending-"

"You said the guy was a merc, right?"

"Yes, and-"

"And that these aren't really finished."

"Well, yes, but-"

"So did he use them when he got arrested?"

"We ambushed them in their hideout, so they didn't have the chance to fight back."

"What exactly are the charges against them?"

"Mostly smuggling and drug related charges."

I smiled in satisfaction. "So you're saying that the weapons he had doesn't really need to be used as evidence?"

He looked annoyed at himself. "I suppose not." He admitted.

"So what's the harm in giving it to me? Better it goes to someone like a Spectre than just rusting up in some evidence room."

He seemed conflicted.

"There's no way he's going to go for it." I heard Garrus mutter.

_Wanna bet? _I was pretty sure that if I'd ended up this close to them, then there was a reason. _That reason being that I can't do something as cool as those phoenix whips or even a Nova blast, so being able to throw a ton of deadly knives seems like the next best thing. _

"Alright, I suppose I could sell them to you for 5000 credits."

I smiled. "Good thing I just got paid then." _Thank you Wrex._

_Also, thank you reality warping. I mean, I probably could've just knocked him out and taken them, but that would've gone downhill pretty quickly afterwards. _

* * *

"I can't believe you actually got those things Bourne." Shepard commented as we got into the elevator.

I had 18 knives on each arm, and another 54 on my new belt. The req officer also said he'd ship the other few hundred knives to the Normandy.

"Well, it never hurts to be prepared."

"Unless you slip with one of those things." Ashley commented.

"So I'll just keep some medigel handy. Goes along with the prepared thing."

I looked at the buttons near the wrist, which activated the mechanics to move the knives around and into hand. "I'm going to have to modify it a bit though. Having to press buttons to get the knives sort of defeats the purpose."

"You want some help on that then?" Ashley offered.

I looked at her, somewhat surprised.

"I don't want you screwing something up and getting one of those right through the hand."

"Yeah, I guess I could use the help. But these are knives, not guns."

"What does that have to do with-"

"Unless your rank got changed from Gunnery Chief to Knifery Chief-"

Shepard slugged me on the shoulder, hard enough to knock me into the wall of the elevator, and I nearly lost my footing "Bourne, I've had all of the stupid jokes I can take in one day."

"Point taken. … and I swear, that was unintentional."

Shepard just sighed.

The doors opened, and we saw Anderson and Udina waiting for us. If they were surprised by the three aliens following us, or by the array of knives on my arm, they didn't show it.

_Then again, maybe Udina just has his head too far up his ass to notice._

"I've got big news for the two of you. Captain Anderson is stepping down as commanding officer as the Normandy. As of now, the ship is yours Commander."

Shepard opened her mouth, probably to object, but he turned to me and cut her off. "I also have some news for you Bourne."

_If he says the Council took back the Spectre status, I might just have to test how deadly these new knives are._

"I managed to pull some strings and get you promoted. You're now the Normandy's XO."

… _well, that wasn't quite what I was expecting. Maybe he isn't so bad. _

"Congratulations Lt. Bourne." Anderson said, reaching to shake my hand. _Lieutenant!? You put me at the same rank as Alenko?! _

I managed to shake Anderson's hand, though I really wanted to slap the shit out of Udina. _Seriously? You couldn't have made me a commander too? Shepard has to be completely in charge? Hell, Lt. Commander would still be-_

_Well, at least I'm higher ranking than Jacob. If I'd been made his rank, I probably would have just quit the Alliance and worked with Shepard as a freelance agent._

"Anderson, are you sure about this?" Shepard asked.

"She's quick, quiet, and you know the crew. She's perfect for a Pair of Spectres."

"I don't like the idea of taking from him anymore than you do Shepard. But we can't answer to anyone but the council. And this ship is top off the line." I added.

_As Tali has already noticed. _She was studying the ship, and I could tell that she was impressed.

"Bourne's right. And it's time for me to step down." Anderson agreed.

"Captain, come clean. You owe me that much."

_Oh, don't you dare start talking about the whole story! I've sat through enough that I already knew was going to happen for one day!_

"Ask me again later and I'll tell you the full story."

_Phew._

"Saren's gone, don't even try to find him. But he has his Geth Scouring the Traverse."

"Looking for the Conduit." I stated. It wasn't a question.

Udina started talking and I blocked him out, figuring that nothing he said would be something I'd want to hear.

After a couple minutes, I realized he was telling us where to start looking.

"We have one more lead. Matriarch Benezia, the other voice on the recording? She has a daughter, A scientist who specializes in the Protheans. We don't know if she's involved but it might be a good idea to try and find her. See what she knows. Her name's Liara. Dr. Liara T'Soni."

"Try saying that three times fast." I said, grinning. Shepard rolled her eyes.

Udina ignored us. For once, I couldn't really blame him. I still wanted to hurl him off the landing pad, but that was more on principle. "We have reports she was exploring an archeological dig on one of the uncharted worlds in the Artemis Tau cluster."

I turned to Shepard. "I say we start looking there. The Protheans, and the Reapers are the most important part of this. An expert would be a good idea."

Shepard nodded and turned to Anderson and Udina. "Sounds like we're heading for the Artemis Tau Cluster."

"It's your decision. You're Spectres now. You don't answer to us." Anderson reminded us.

"But your actions still reflect on humanity as a whole. You make a mess and I get stuck cleaning it up." Udina's words were directed mostly to me.

_You really shouldn't have told me that. Because now I might throw in some extra disaster just to annoy you._

"I'll be careful." I said as sarcastically as I could. "But then again, I might forget about that out in the field."

"Not the Answer I wanted to hear Bourne. Remember: you were a human an long before you were a Spectre."

I rolled my eyes. "If you're expecting me to have some deep ties to the Alliance or something, I'd just like to point out I've been in the military less than two days."

"Don't worry, I'll keep him in line." Shepard assured Udina.

"I hope so. I have a meeting to get to. Captain Anderson can answer and questions you might have."

He left, and Shepard turned to me, giving me that look again. I held up a hand, forestalling her. "Relax, I was just trying to get under his skin."

Tali stopped studying the Normandy and turned to look at me. "Get into his skin? I didn't know humans were capable of doing that."

Shepard and I exchanged looks, and I could tell she was fighting laughter as well.

"It was a figure of speech." I said, somehow managing to keep my voice composed.

Tali looked at us in confusion, then seemed to shrug. She went back to studying the Normandy.

"So, I guess we should get going then?" I asked Shepard.

"Yeah, go ahead onto the ship. I want to talk to Anderson before we leave though."

I went through the airlock, and made my way to the stairs. More than a few people saluted me, which was a tad uncomfortable.

I made my way into the elevator, intending to go down and work on the modifications to the knife system.

_And if I stay up here, Shepard's bound to want me to say something along with her speech. And I'd either say something completely cheesy, or else it would be something that Shepard would murder me for._

_Besides, I want to get to work with these things._ I looked at the gauntlets again. _Because I might have Iron's powers, but I don't have any of Snake's or Edge's brains when it comes to Tech. I need all the time I can get. _

I shrugged. At least it sounded like Ashley would be helping me, which would make it a little more bearable.

It took me a second to realize what I'd just said, but then it hit me like a thunder bolt.

_Wait, am I seriously thinking of… ok, its official. I'm nuts. The other stuff was just the primer, that's the final straw._

_I mean, she's not all that bad looking but… goddamn it brain, that isn't helping!_

_And I'm pretty sure she- well, she doesn't hate my guts as much anymore, but I doubt I'm at the top of her favorite persons list._

_Then again, I did help her out with the whole Bosker thing. I mean, it's not like she went so far that she spontaneously hugged me or something, but she did seem grateful. _

I suddenly realized something else that just made me smack myself. _She specifically asked me what sort of person I'd be into! Shepard walked back outside before I could answer though…_

I actually asked myself the same question Ashley had. Without more than a couple days' worth of memory, I didn't have much to go on. I knew about movies, or books that I'd read, but my real world experience was nonexistent.

_Well, I guess now's a good a time to figure that out as any._

_Ok, start obvious. No criminals or terrorists, or whatever. That right there eliminates 2/3s of my options. _

I chuckled to myself, then got serious about it. _I know a lot about Ashley, so I know what I'd be getting into. God I wish there was a way to make that not sound creepy._

_Ok, focus. Am I actually interested in her, or is it just because she's available? Minus the regs on fraternization, which technically don't apply to me because of the Spectre Status… did I just answer my own question then?_

I shook my head. _Flip side: is there even the slightest possibility she's into me? _

I almost burst out laughing at the absurdity of the question.

_Seriously, I don't know what I was thinking. Alright, time to see what I'm working with here._


	16. This is going to suck

Shepard rolled her shoulders to loosen them up as she walked into the training room. After making a short speech to the crew, reminding them what they were doing, the events of the day had caught up to her.

She'd ended up taking a nap for a few hours, not passing up the chance at a real bed in the captain's quarters. Part of her still felt guilty for taking the ship from Anderson, but she'd never slept well in the sleeper pods. The cramped pods reminded her too much of her-

She forced herself to cut off that line of thought. The chronic nightmares of that day were bad enough, without bringing them into the light of day.

_Then again, almost everyone else should be asleep by now. _She thought, looking around.

While a ship like the Normandy never really had night and day, most of the crew still ended up on the same schedule, leaving only a fraction of the crew to operate the ship, unless there was an emergency.

Although it was really the middle of the "night", Shepard was wide awake. She could never manage more than a few hours of restless sleep at a time, meaning that she'd become somewhat of a night owl.

She walked over to the bench press, tossing her collapsed armor to the side in case she wanted to hit the shooting range later. Most people thought that she was just naturally strong, which was true to a point. But the real reason for her strength and endurance was that she couldn't sleep, she'd work out until she was exhausted enough to sleep again. And she usually had trouble sleeping.

A dull 'thunk' caught her attention, and she looked towards the shooting range, unconsciously dropping into a fighting stance.

"Really? Again?" Bourne said, looking at his right glove in annoyance.

He took off the glove and moved it over to the bench normally used for gun modifying. "It just figures. I'm right handed, so of course it's the left hand that works like a charm. Where as the glove on the hand I actually use keeps launching the damn things like missiles." He took off his left glove and laid it next to the right. "At this rate we'll actually catch Saren before I get this thing working."

Shepard shook her head, smiling slightly. "Do you always talk to yourself Bourne?"

"…is there any good way to answer that question?"

"Maybe, but that wasn't it."

"Some comment about not usually doing it when other people are around to hear it maybe?"

"Or it might be that you're distracted by something else."

He shook his head as he turned to face her. "The design is… I want to say ingenious, but that word sounds ridiculous coming out of my mouth. Anyway, the guy had a good idea, but he clearly had no idea what he was doing with the wiring. Ashley and I spent almost two hours redoing it before she had to catch some Zs."

"Catch what?"

His face didn't change, staying completely expressionless, but Shepard could tell from the way his fists clenched that he was severely annoyed with himself.

"Get some sleep. Like I said, my vocabulary is somewhat… outdated. " He turned back to the gloves, grabbing a tool to move around the circuitry. "But, I think all that hard work is about to pay off, if I can just-"

A knife literally was launched from the arm guard, missing the targets and impaling itself in the far wall.

Shepard assumed whatever he said under his breath was profanity.

"I think you might need to dial that back a bit." Shepard said with some amusement.

He forced a laugh. "Yeah. Now all I need is a white hood and some parkour skills!"

"White hood and… what?"

He shook his head. "Nothing, that little failure just reminded me of something I saw in an old game." His hand glowed blue, and the knife flew out of the wall, back into his hand.

He examined it, then tossed it away in disgust. "Good thing I got so many of these things. That wall's already destroyed half a dozen."

"How long have you been working on this?" Shepard asked.

"Since Ashley went to bed? About two hours, give or take."

Shepard chuckled. "You think it might be time for a break?"

He looked at it a moment longer, then sighed. "Might as well. At this rate I'm only going to make it worse because I get annoyed."

"I'm guessing that it's more complicated then you were expecting?"

"Tech isn't my strong suit. A gun, I can add mods and stuff just fine. But this… yeah, way more complicated. I might have to ask Tali to take a look at it. Or maybe Garrus; I noticed him tinkering with the Mako earlier."

"Good. Maybe he can even out the suspension a little bit."

He grimaced in distaste. "I hope so. I've heard some real horror stories about that tank. Words cannot express how much I hope they were exaggerated."

Shepard shook her head. "Between the four of you, I'm starting to feel a bit guilty. Tali's apparently settled in with the engineers, Garrus and Ashley are working on weapons and the Mako, you're doing this… all I've done so far is take a nap."

He chuckled. "Well, you also made a speech."

She glared at him a moment, then just rolled her eyes. "What's up with you and knives anyway?" _Now's a good time as any to try to get to know him. Especially since I've ended up making him my partner, or at least second in command.  
_ "You seem to use them a lot more than most people would. One combat knife for close quarters is one thing-"

"Hey, if it works, it works." He gestured to where she'd stored her equipment. "Besides, I could ask you the same thing about the sniper rifles. I mean, you were offering to sell your shotgun to help pay for that one Sniper-"

"How could you possibly have known that?"

"My hearing's pretty good. So's my memory, for that matter"

He turned to his arm guards, reaching for them, and Shepard almost gasped in surprise as his eyes glowed; she'd thought it was just a trick of the light before, but in here the dim lights left little doubt.

She swallowed silently. "What about your eye sight?" She managed to ask.

He turned to look at her, a slight smile tugging at his lips. "You know, I was wondering when someone would get around to asking me about those." He shrugged. "Honestly, I have no clue. Biotics equals glowing eyes, no biotics equal not glowing eyes."

"I've never heard of something like that before. Not in humans at least."

"I like to think it makes me unique, but it does have its downsides. If I even get ready to use the biotics… well, it's kind of a dead giveaway. But then again, seeing a guy with glowing eyes tends to be pretty useful for intimidation."  
He chuckled. "But then again, I guess you probably know that."

Shepard looked in the mirror at her own eyes, faintly glowing purple. She nodded. "Yeah."

"What are you doing up this late anyway?" Bourne asked her.

Shepard looked at him in disbelief.

"Ok, yeah, that sounded less hypocritical in my head. He shrugged. "Nonetheless…"

Shepard chose her words carefully, not wanting to lie. "I had trouble sleeping in Anderson's room. It just doesn't feel right that I'm in charge now instead of him."

"Not your fault."

"Doesn't make me feel any less guilty." She said, though she didn't specify what she was guilty about. "What about you?" She asked, diverting the conversation from her past.

He shrugged. "Guess I'm used to late nights. Probably going to be a lot of them coming up."

"You think we'll be fighting Saren in the middle of the night?"

"No, I just get the impression paperwork is going to take forever."

She sighed. "Do you take anything seriously?"

"Of course. But not if I don't have to."

"That's an optimistic point of view, but not really the best for a military operation."

"Technically, since you and I are in char-"

She gave him a pointed look.

"Since you're in charge, it's technically a Council slash Spectre operation."

She smiled slightly. "Has anyone ever told you you're a smart ass?"

He pretended to think. "On average… 14 times a day." He said with a straight face.

"Better than being called boring I guess."

"Speaking from experience are we? No wait, I take it back. You hit people way too often to be called boring."

She emphasized this by slugging him in the arm. "Only when they deserve it."

"Don't know that I'd agree with you on that one." He muttered, rubbing his arm. "So, any specific plans for tomorrow?"

She nodded. "I set the course for the Artemus Tau Cluster. We'll reach Edolous in the morning."

He crossed his arms. "Didn't they say T'soni's a prothean expert? Why would she be on Edolous?"

His tone was too controlled for Shepard to believe he wasn't hiding something. "It's in the closest system to where we are. It's a place to start at least."

He looked at her a moment more and then nodded. "Well, I wasn't really expecting us to find her on the first try anyway."

"We'll do a scan from orbit and if we don't pick anything up we can move on." Shepard said, looking at him closely.

"Works for me." He said, turning to leave.

Shepard didn't know why, but she got the feeling he didn't think much of the decision.

_Then again, _she reflected, _a lot of people didn't think much of me choosing him as my XO. _

She shrugged. _I can't really do anything about it now. I guess I'll just have to see how it plays out._

* * *

I had to suppress a grimace the entire way to the sleeping pods.

Part of me blamed Shepard, part of me blamed the stupid knife system I couldn't get to work, but mostly I blamed myself for being a moron.

_Well, what the hell did I think would happen? That she'd pick Therum right off the back? Actually, yeah, that sort of is what I thought would- God, why are these thing so obvious in hindsight?_

I was annoyed that we'd have to waste time on a side mission- _Again! – _but at least it wouldn't take too long. _I hope. _

_Well, it shouldn't be that hard to get Shepard back on the right track. _

_Emphasis on should. I would only be slightly surprised if it took all day to get to the right place. _

_Man, I ought to look into whether I can install Angry Birds on the Omni-tool. Or at least get some music on there._

I smiled as another thought hit me. _I bet it's a lot easier to illegally download music in this day and age. And since I'm a spectre, I actually can do that legally. _

_Or semi-legally… I won't get the law after me at least, that's the part I care about. _

I shrugged. _It's a problem for tomorrow. _I thought as I climbed into my sleeper pod and shut the door.

"Beeep. Beeep. Beeee-" I hit the shut off on my alarm mid-beep, mentally throwing a few curses at it.

I reflected that having your alarm attached to your arm meant you couldn't throw it across the room. I rolled my shoulders as I climbed out of the tube. _At least I don't need as much sleep as most people. _

_But I really need to get some music on my Omni-tool just so I don't completely hate my alarm. _

"Long night Bourne?"

I had to suppress the urge to jump at Kaidan's voice, speaking from his terminal.

"You might say that." I said with a slight shrug.

_I thought _I_ was the one that people never hear. Not as cool when someone else does it._

"You might want to cut back on the late hours."

"Yeah, Shepard already gave me the spiel" I chuckled "Didn't listen to her either."

He gave me a strange look. "That doesn't seem the best attitude to take with a superior officer."

_God, and Jacob's going to be even more annoying than this guy? _

"Lest you forget, I'm a Spectre too, so rank doesn't mean a whole lot."

He shrugged. "Maybe not in theory, but in practice… and you never know when you might lose the Spectre status. I'm amazed the council gave it to you in the first place."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." I deadpanned.

"Oh, I didn't mean-"

"Relax, I know it was a big shock. Heck, I think Shepard even surprised herself."

"Well, I'm sure she had her reasons."

"Yeah. Let's just hope the reason doesn't turn out be some form of insanity." I said, walking past him to get breakfast.

_Though at this point, I would almost be happy if that were the case because it would be a more rational explanation than anything I've come with so far._

The mess hall was still mostly deserted, since I'd had my alarm set to wake me up early. _After all, Shepard said to not stay up late, but she didn't say anything about how late I had to sleep in. And since I don't need the sleep… _

_Well, why the hell would I want to sleep when I've got all this stuff going on? I mean, there are aliens on board. Actual extra-terrestrials! Not to mention, I have like an Iphone 5000-s imbedded in my arm! _

I wasn't quite panicking, but things were starting to hit me that I'd just taken in stride before. It was enough to distract me and cause me to knock over a pile of trays.

On instinct, I flung a singularity into the middle of them to hold them suspended in midair.

_Oh, and there's the telekinetic powers. Yeah, definitely better than sleeping. _

I started stacking them back up, and I heard faint footsteps coming up behind me.

"Can you hand me one of those? I think I'm about ready for some chow myself."

I took a guess on where he was based on his voice, and used my biotics to send a tray hovering in front of him.

"I said hand, but I guess that works too." He said, grabbing it as I let my powers fade. I detected a hint of disapproval in his tone.

I let it slide, that narcissistic part of my brain blaming it on jealousy.

I walked over towards a table on the far side, secretly hoping he wouldn't follow me over. I wanted to look up some "old" music, which might or not be seen as suspicious. _Also, I'm probably going to download it illegally. Being a Spectre does not suck at all._

"Hey, wait up a sec."

_Other than having to deal with certain annoying people on occasion. _

"I think you grabbed the wrong type of ration pack."

… _Ok, this one I can't wait to hear. _

I turned around to face him. "What do you mean? Do we have Dextro packs out or"

"Those are the standard ration packs." He gestured towards the blue stripes at the top of the packet. He grabbed another ration pack and held it out to me. "These are the higher calorie packs for Biotics."

I looked closely at it, and the stripe at the top was actually violet rather than blue, though in the somewhat dim lighting it was hard to tell.

"Technically you can just take two normal packs, but since there's only a handful of Biotics on the ship we're supposed to use these when we can."

I wondered how I didn't noticed that before. _Guess I just grabbed the wrong pack this time._

"Huh, there weren't any out yesterday." I said.

Kaidan looked at me oddly. "Yeah, they didn't have very many before since Normandy was only doing a shakedown run, so we ran out and switched to two normal packs."

I looked at him, sensing that I was missing something important. And judging by how he was looking at me, it was also really obvious.

I waited a moment, then asked "Ok, is there a subtext to this conversation that I'm missing, or am I just being paranoid?"

"How much did you use your powers yesterday?"

I shrugged. "Not as much as Eden Prime, but I've used them less." _Back when I didn't have them._ "Why?"

"Did you grab two of the normal packs?"

"Guess I didn't think about it. I only grabbed the one."

I suddenly understood why he was surprised. Biotics needed greater amounts of calories so they could generate dark energy and move things around and all that.

_Which means I somehow don't need to eat as much as other biotics. Which in other circumstances I might actually care about, but right now I honestly don't care.  
_

"Did I hear you were from Omega?" he asked, looking at me curiously.

"If you're asking me that, you obviously did. But if you're asking whether it's true, yeah, that's where I'm from."

He glanced again at my lower ration pack, then grabbed a higher ration pack and went back to eat it at his station.

_Hmm, not quite the reaction I was expecting. Saves me the trouble of having to come up with an explanation though, so time to go pirate some music. _

_Man, I love that I can actually do that now. _

_As long as a certain commander doesn't catch m-_

"You're up early Lt."

_Or Gunnery Chief. That also derails my plans a bit. _

"Unless you're sleep walking, so are you Williams." I responded with a chuckle as I turned to face her.

"Yeah, I guess I'm still running on ground time. Usually takes me a day or two to get reacquainted."

"Makes sense I guess."

"I didn't get much sleep anyway. I've-" she cut herself off and looked away.

"You've lost friends before, but not your whole platoon?"

She looked at me in surprise.

_Aaaannnd, way to quote the game almost exactly and possibly expose yourself._

"How did you-"

"Lucky guess. Whole crew seems pretty upset over Jenkins, so it'd make sense that- well…"

"It's still so fresh that… no matter how many people you lose, you never get used to seeing dead civilians."

"I can't say I had many pleasant dreams either." _Granted, that's because I didn't sleep long enough to get the chance, but no sense mentioning that. _ I shook my head. "Maybe we could sit down to have this conversation instead of just standing in the middle of the mess hall?"

"Yeah, I guess."

We grabbed the far table and sat down across from each other. I kept my face neutral, while Ashley's face was too actually too expressive for me to read. I could see guilt, anger, loss, regret, and those were just the obvious emotions, hiding the more subtle ones that might otherwise have shown.

She moved food around on her plate, her appetite apparently non-existent.

I decided it was probably better to let her break the silence, so I just started eating.

"It was my fault." I heard her murmur. Even from such a short distance, and uncommonly good hearing, I could only barely make it out.

"Nobody could have predicted any of that would happen." I said quietly, but loud enough that she could hear me.

_Which is mostly true. I knew about the attack, but about me getting sucked in, no way._

"I was in charge-"

"Nobody'd seen Geth for almost two centuries. On top of that, they're almost perfect ambushers. I mean, the damn things don't even breathe."

"They had flashlights for heads. Not exactly what I'd call stealthy."

"True, but then again, look at me. I don't exactly blend in to a crowd, yet people never hear me walking up behind them."

"Did I ever apologize for almost drawing a gun on you when you did that?"

"Yeah, considering my penchant for carrying knives, or breaking things with my biotics, I think it was a justified mistake."

"Mistake?" she asked skeptically.

"Well yeah. You really think you'd have gotten a shot off before I took you down? I mean, I hate to brag but-"

"Why did Shepard let you tag along again?"

"Let's see, good looks, unmatchable Biotic prowess, incredible combat skills, and I also make a damn good casserole."

"Don't sell yourself short. You also make a good human shield." I heard a voice from behind me. "Plus you're ugly enough to distract the crew from the aliens."

"Yeah, good morning to you too." I muttered as Shepard sat down next to me.

"If you're this cranky in the morning, maybe you should start going to bed earlier."

"Said the pot to the kettle." I grumbled under my breath.

"Speaking of your, quote 'incredible combat skills' did you ever get that knife system working?" Ashley asked me.

I shook my head. "Maybe I'll ask Garrus to take a look while we're out in the Mako."

"Mako?"

"We're going to have to use it to search the cluster for Doctor T'soni. Next stop is Edolous." Shepard explained.

"Shouldn't be much longer before we arrive." I said, shrugging. _But I hope the tank comes with barf bags if Shepard drives anything like she did in the game._

"Dibs on the guns." Ashley said.

"Well, we haven't decided on who else to bring." Shepard said, thinking.

"And what makes you think I haven't already called dibs on guns?" I added.

"You're the one that keeps making all the jokes about me being gunnery chief."

"And you're the one that's lower ranking."

Shepard sighed. "You're _already_ abusing that fact?"

I decided it was better not to answer that question. "So, who should be person number 4?"

Shepard shrugged. "We should probably wait to decide until after we do a scan of the planet. Depending on what we detect- honestly, I doubt we'll find her on the first try."

_Well, at least I can probably get her to go for the right planet on the next try._

I suddenly heard Joker's voice coming from Shepard's arm, and her Omni-tool flickered into being. "Commander, we're just now entering the planet's orbit."

"You know Joker, you're really lucky she's an early riser." I commented. "Anybody else would still be asleep and kick your ass for waking them up."

"I take it you don't want a wakeup call tomorrow?"

"I'm good, thanks. Get the egg heads to do a scan and-"

"Actually, that's why I called. We already picked up a signal. Looks like an Automated Distress Beacon."

Shepard glanced my way. "Maybe we're luckier than I thought." She turned back to her Omni-tool. "Can you tell who planted it?"

There was a momentary silence. "No, it's too simple to carry any sort of data like that. It's just sending up an SOS signal, but not saying whose ship, or what they need saving from. You know, nice and vague."

"Alright, get the Normandy ready for a Mako drop."

"Will do."

"Guess we should probably head down and gear up." I said, getting to my feet. "We'll meet you down there."

Shepard nodded. "Alright. Chief, do me a favor and make sure he doesn't leave without me."

"Oh come on, do you really think I'd- on second thought, maybe it'd better if you didn't answer that."

* * *

Looking back, I really want to kick myself for how long it took to realize the obvious.

Not that the Mako sucked, though I suppose that might also apply.

It was through something Garrus said actually.

"Hmm, this shouldn't be too difficult to fix." He said, looking at my knife gauntlets. "They just need a little calibration."

I faked a cough to hide my barely stifled laughter. "Thanks. It's a little beyond my expertise."

Garrus' face was hard to read, being as he was an alien, but I detected a hint of worry in his voice. "I just hope you don't end up needing them. That distress beacon is there for a reason."

"We're going to be in a several ton giant metal tank. With rockets and a machine gun."

He shrugged and opened up the gauntlets to see what he was dealing with while I went to finish gearing up. Ashley was already in her armor, but she'd decided to do some last minute modifications to her gun.

I shook my head at Garrus's pessimism. _Seriously, nothing short of a… oh, I don't know, maybe those giant Geth or a Thresher Maw… _I paused as the thought hit me, followed by the realization that one of those was exactly what we'd be up against.

…_god damn mother of fu- _ I went on that way for at least a minute. One or two people shot me strange looks for just standing in the middle of the bay, though a quick glare sent them back to what they'd been doing. It helped that I didn't need to fake my anger, only who I was directing it at.

_How is it I have perfect memory, yet it took me this freaking long to remember that? I was really dumb enough to let all the fancy tech and aliens and superpowers distract me?... ok, putting that way, I might be able to justify it. Maybe. _

It wasn't that I was worried we couldn't kill it; I was concerned over how Shepard would react to one of the things that had left her the sole survivor.

_I made a comment about how her career hadn't been perfect, and she automatically assumed that's what I meant… Wrex was less terrifying after I tried shooting him and then threw him across the room. Well, maybe that's actually a tie… I don't know the specifics of what happened on Akuze, but I know enough to get the gist of it._

I grit my teeth. _Damn! If I'd thought of this earlier, I probably could've told Shepard that Therum actually has prothean ruins. But since we already scanned the planet and found the distress beacon I doubt I can convince anyone not to investigate now. _

I felt a surge of sympathy for Shepard, but tried to suppress it and focus on the task at hand. _All I can do now is make this a quick as possible. Huh, I hope I actually know how to use the guns in that thing._

I suddenly heard heavy footsteps behind me, and turned to see Wrex. _Well, at least he didn't sneak up on me like just about everyone else. Then again, I don't see how that would even be possible._

"So, you got room in that thing for one more?"

I shrugged. "Shepard didn't say who else we're bringing, but unless she has an objection I don't see why not."

"As long as I get to shoot something."

"Don't worry. The way my luck's been going lately, I'd say we're pretty much guaranteed to find something we need to blow up."

He chuckled. "Better than sitting around bored while the politics argue."

"Couldn't have put it better myself. Apart from insulting the politicians a little more."

"Heh, you and I might just finish all this without killing each other."

I bit my lip and decided there was no good response to that. _ Though throwing on my armor and grabbing my guns might not be a bad one._

Ashley turned to look at me as I opened my locker. "Do you really think letting him come along is such a good idea?"

"I can't think of a single combat scenario where having a Krogan with you is a bad thing. With the possible exception of fighting a-"

"You know that isn't what I meant." She turned to face me fully, lowering her voice slightly. "He and Vakarian are both aliens. And this is the most advanced ship in the Alliance fleet. I'm not sure they should just be allowed to wander around. And letting Wrex watch our backs? Are we-"

"If you want to go and tell him to get off the ship, be my guest. Though I'd recommend you make sure you don't want to change your will first."

She glared at me.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Look, they didn't join up to spy on us or shoot us in the back. Garrus joined up because he wants to take Saren down, and Wrex joined because… he said he wanted a piece of the action, but I get the feeling he's also wanting to take down all the idiot Krogan Saren's got on his side now."

"No offense Bourne, but pep talking clearly isn't one of your greater skills."

"It was meant less as a pep talk, and more as a way to… well, it seems like you might be slightly biased when it comes to non-humans."

She opened her mouth to speak, but I cut her off.

"Look, I'm not going to waste both our time with an argument about it. I'm just asking you to try to keep a more open mind."

"There's also such thing as being too trusting, or trusting them because they're aliens. Sometime people trust them just so they don't seem xenophobic."

I shrugged, then improvised. "I've found people tend to fit into two categories. Either I distrust them until they've earned my trust- or until my instincts turn out to be right and they try killing me, which tends not to end well for them- or I trust them until they give me a reason not to. The latter usually didn't give me a reason to."

"So, either you trust someone, or they end up trying to kill you? I think there's a flaw in your logic there."

"Well… yeah, sure it sounds dumb when you say it like that. But my instincts don't usually lead me wrong, and I've learned to trust them. Besides, I doubt Shepard would be dumb enough to let them onboard if she didn't trust them."

She crossed her arms. "Considering that it's a Krogan we're talking about, I think trust had less to do with it than a desire not to piss him off."

I pretended to sight my rifle, using the reflection in the metal to check that Wrex hadn't walked up behind me before saying "I think we could have taken him."

She just rolled her eyes.

I heard the doors opening and turned to see Shepard stepping out. "You guys ready?"

"You know, now would be the perfect time for some "I was born ready" line, but it's such a cliché-"

Shepard cut me off. "Then let's get going."

I took another look at the Mako and fought back a sigh.

_Man, this is going to suck. _


	17. Sometimes I Hate Being Right

_Sometimes I hate being right. _I thought, lying stunned on the floor of the Mako. _So far, today does suck. Hard. _

"Having a nice nap there Bourne?" Shepard asked with a chuckle.

I slowly got back to my feet, grimacing as I moved my arm, reasonably sure that it was going to be bruised. "You could've warned me there was another part to the restraints."

"I figured that you'd realize that on your own." She said with a note of apology in her voice.

"Hell, these things fit someone my size." Wrex put in. "How do you screw something like that up?"

"Probably the same reason I'm letting Garrus finish the knife system. Technology is not my strong suit." I said, sliding into the weapons station.

"And you think that'll make me want you being the one using the weapons… why?" Shepard asked rhetorically as she undid her restraints and moved to the driver's position at the front of the vehicle.

I cracked my knuckles, examining the controls. By this point, I wasn't surprised that I knew exactly what everything did.

I smiled. "When I say tech isn't my strong suit, guns don't count. These, I can use."

She climbed into the front seat. "Well, hopefully we won't need them."

_You only wish. Unfortunately, we're going to need this things more than-_

My thought was cut off as I was thrown out of my seat, though this time I was able to put up a barrier and save myself the bruising.

Shepard stopped the tank and looked over her shoulder at me. "Forget the restraints again?"

"With all due respect Commander, shut the hell up."

* * *

Finally belted in, I kept an eye out on the monitor for anything that might need shooting. Unsurprisingly, I'd had little to do so far.

_I really ought to be careful what I wish for, considering that there's going to be a giant worm trying to kill us in about five minutes. _

_Specifically that same type of worm that murdered an entire squad that Shepard happened to be in charge of. _

_Great, I'm even apparently an even worse pep talker in my head than I am out loud. _

I was suddenly aware that Shepard had stopped the Mako.

"Something wrong?" Ashley asked.

"I see the distress beacon." Shepard said, and I would have bet that her eyes narrowed as she said it.

I swiveled the guns around to look, seeing what looked like an older version of a Mako and some scattered marine corpses.

"I take it I'm not the only one smelling a trap."

"I see bodies, but I don't see what killed them. They wouldn't have had time to set up that beacon if they were under attack-"

"Which means they were killed responding to it." I finished for her.

"Probably."

I sighed. "We're still moving in there, aren't we."

"You see another option?"

My silence was answer enough.

She slowly rolled us forward. "Bourne, keep an eye out for anyth-"

At that moment, a giant head emerged from the sand and roared at us.

_Well, look on the bright side. At least she didn't have us move in on foot. _I opened fire with the machine gun and launched a missile at it. It roared in pain and disappeared underground.

We waited for what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only a few moments.

"Well, that wasn't so bad." Wrex commented.

"Wrex! Don't you know it's bad luck to say that sort of thing?" I complained.

A sudden rumbling came from beneath us.

"Shepard! Floor it!"

She got us moving in the nick of time, and the Maw came out less than a foot away from where we'd been. I put as much lead and explosives towards it as I could.

The pattern repeated for what felt like a hundred times, but was probably less than five.

Eventually, the worm had enough metal and shrapnel inside it to kill it, and it collapsed to the ground.

Shepard circled it a few times to make sure it was dead, then she suddenly seemed to just shut down, no longer driving, just letting the Mako's inertia stop it.

I slowly took my hands away from the firing console, adrenaline rush fading. I'd been in several firefights by now, but dealing with something the size of a house was new.

I was slightly surprised I wasn't hyperventilating or something. But I was a lot more surprised that Shepard wasn't. She seemed to just be staring off into space.

"You alright?" I asked.

Wrex laughed. "Please. I killed one of those things when I was barely more than a child. You don't think-"

I made a motion across my throat, which I realized later was pretty stupid considering that I was talking to Wrex, but the jerk of the head towards Shepard seemed to get the point across.

I slowly got out of my seat and walked up front to where she was sitting. "Shepard? Are you-"

"Just give me a minute." Her voice was hoarse, and I could tell she was fighting to keep from showing any more emotion. Her purple eyes held traces of tears, though she was holding them back.

I nodded and walked back to where the other two were sitting. "Wrex, take over the guns. Cover us and make sure we don't have any uninvited guests. Williams, you're with me. We're going in for a closer look."

"What about her?" Wrex asked.

I lowered my voice. " I guess we give her a chance to shake it off. Don't call for pickup until we get back."

He nodded as he maneuvered himself into the seat, though it obviously never was designed for a Krogan. Minus a bit of creaking though, it seemed to fit him without too much trouble.

Ashley already had her helmet on, and I grabbed my own from my back and stuck it over my head.

The hatch opened, the barriers separating the atmosphere from the Mako's internal systems, while allowing the two of us to slip out.

As Ashley landed, her assault rifle was already in her arms, ready just in case.

I held my pistol in my hand as well, but my attention was focused more on the bodies. It was a short walk, but it felt even shorter, since the scenery didn't much change.

I looked at the scene, comparing it to the one in the game. In the game, the bodies were just- there. They hardly looked damaged at all. But these men had clearly not died peacefully. There were sections of armor melted clean through, showing organs that had long ceased functioning.

Blood spattered the ground and the beacon, and had I this type of thing before, I doubtlessly would have been throwing up inside my helmet. As it was I felt nauseous and had to fight back bile.

I couldn't see any of Ashley's face aside from her eyes, but it was enough to see she felt similar.

She knelt and examined one of the more intact bodies. "I recognize this insignia. These men served under Admiral Kohoku." She stood up, looking at the carnage. "They responded to the distress beacon and were slaughtered."

I nodded, glaring at the beacon. Until now, I'd been more focused on simply getting Shepard through this mission while minimizing additional trauma to her, and then moving on with life. But now, looking at all of this, it was one giant wakeup call.

Until now, I'd been almost able to forget this was no longer a game, but this was a dose of reality.

And while there'd been an investigation to figure out who was responsible, I already knew.

_Cerberus. _

The prohuman terrorist group that would in the future be both responsible for saving Shepard, and then promptly turn to trying to kill her.

That beacon seemed to embody it all and as I glared at it, remembering additional tragedies yet to happen, my biotics manifested themselves around me, and I was unable to restrain them- not that I wanted to. I wanted to disintegrate the device.

I raised my hand to do just that, energy glowing around it when it was suddenly pulled hard towards the ground, and I narrowly avoided warping apart my own foot, causing a scorched spot on the ground.

I looked at the hand grabbing my arm, than at the person it was attached to. I yanked my arm out of Ashley's grip. "I would advise you not to try that again, unless you want one of us end up missing a leg." I said, making only a slight effort to control my tone.

"If you had that little control over your powers, you wouldn't be here." She responded coldly. "We can't just destroy this thing."

"Watch me."

"These people had families. If you destroy this beacon, how are they supposed to find the bodies to bury them?"

I looked at the beacon again, then back at the scene of carnage. I thought about it a moment, but my rage had started to fade as abrubtly as it had come.

I nodded reluctantly. Destroying it would solve nothing but make me feel slightly better, so I needed to suck it up. "Alright, but we have to at least make it so no one else will fall into the trap."

"These things can be modified to put out a warning signal. Or at least, some of them can. Not sure about this one."

"Well, let's have a look." I walked around it and found a promising looking panel, which I opened. I looked at it a moment, and I grimaced.

"What do you see?" Ashley asked, coming around to the same side.

I looked at the mass of wires and omni-gel. "It appears to be made of metal." I said in exasperation. "I'm really regretting not bringing Garrus or Tali."

She looked in at it as well, and wearily nodded her head.

_She just had to stop me from vaporizing this thing, didn't she?_

* * *

After tinkering with it for a while with no success, I ended up just radioing the Normandy. One of the tech guys managed to talk us through it, and Joker broke in to say that it was now displaying a warning to stay away.

I gave Ashley a thumbs up. "Alright, zero in on the signal for a pick up."

"Will do Lt." His voice lowered. "Greatest pilot in the fleet and they're having me do a run into an area they just marked off as dangerous,without even telling me why. I need to ask for a pay raise."

I chuckled. "I'll be sure to mention that to Anderson next time I'm on the Citadel."

"… I left the Radio on, didn't I?"

"Did you figure that out on your own, or did someone help you?"

I clicked mine off and motioned for Ashley to follow me back to the Mako.

Shepard didn't seem to have moved, and I doubted she'd even noticed we were gone.

"Wrex…" I said quietly.

"If she wasn't breathing, I'd think she was dead." He replied.

I moved up behind her again, and opened my mouth before closing it again, trying to think of what I could say to her in such a situation.

Her head suddenly turned towards me, and I waited for a moment to see what she'd say as he mouth opened.

She said something I couldn't make out, and her head slumped.

I took a closer look, and wanted to kick myself when I saw her eyes were closed.

_How do you fall asleep after something like that? And how did I not notice?_

I sighed and went back to where the other two were. "Why do I get the feeling I'm going to be the one who'll have to carry her onboard the Normandy?"

"She's asleep?" Ashley asked in disbelief.

"Yep. Somehow."

She looked at her a moment, then back at me. "You sure we shouldn't wake her up?"

I shrugged. "No idea. But with all the stress she's been under, and the fact she didn't exactly sleep in, she could probably use the extra sleep. Besides, you really want to wake her up and have her pissed at us?"

"… yeah, good point."

* * *

Shepard woke up suddenly, rolling out of the bed and landing in a combat crouch instinctively, not recognizing her surroundings. After a moment, she realized she was back on the Normandy.

She let out a breath of relief that it had all been a dream, and went to wipe her forehead of sweat. That's when she saw she was wearing her armor, and she swore.

She sat down on the bed, resting her head in her hands. It was bad enough that she'd frozen up so completely, but during a mission?

_Unacceptable! _She berated herself.

She got back to her feet with a deep breath, trying to keep herself from having another break down and opened the door to the mess hall.

Bourne was just getting off the elevator, stopping suddenly when he saw her.

His face was- as she had come to expect- blank, but his stance was guarded, and from the way his eyes glowed slightly more than usual, she was pretty sure he was holding his Biotics in check.

She noticed his armor was different now on his arms.

"Did you finally get those knives working?" She asked, right before he opened his mouth.

He glanced down at them. "Yeah, Garrus got them working for me." He looked back at her. "Are you-"

"I'm fine." She insisted, much too quickly.

He crossed his arms. "I don't know that I'd call what happened down there 'fine.' Shepard… you've been out cold for five hours. And before that, you might as well have been..." he trailed off.

His tone wasn't accusatory, it was cautious, and from the way he was looking at her, he probably expected her to snap.

"I said I'm fine."

He looked at her with such intensity that she couldn't meet his eyes.

After a moment, he nodded, but she doubted she'd convinced him. "Can you handle a less… nostalgic mission?"

"You said I've been out for five hours?"

"Give or take."

"Alright, let me grab a bite to eat and I'll be ready to go."

He nodded. "Works for me. I'm ready to try these knives out on some real Geth instead of a stupid hologram."

Shepard forced a smile. "Then I hope you don't mind me sending you out in front. I'd rather not have you miss and lose an ear."

He rolled his eyes. "Give me some credit. Besides-" he gestured to her sniper rifle. "You came within a few centimeters of shooting me- thrice. In one day!"

"Would you prefer I let them get the drop on you?"

He looked at her a moment before turning and walking away.

She shook her head, then jumped to the side as he spun around, and his arm whipped forward. She saw something fly past where her ear had been and drew her pistol, pointing at his head.

"Now, imagine there was an enemy behind you just now." Bourne said, arm still out stretched. "Not so pleasant, is it?"

"Wouldn't be very pleasant if I'd shot you in the head either." Shepard responded, shoving her gun back onto her thigh.

"I've got shields you know. I doubt you'd be able to take them down before I got you to stop shooting at me or got to cover."

He flicked his arm back and his knife skittered across the floor and into his hand.

"There are better ways to make a point. What if you'd missed?"

"Exactly."

She glared at him.

"Besides, I was keeping hold of it with my biotics. It wouldn't have gone anywhere I didn't want it to."

"And if it had?"

"Same thing as if your hand slipped on the rifle. Tell you what- how about we just stop aiming weapons past each other's heads?"

She glared at him. "You've more than made your point."

"Admit at least one thing: You feel a little less 'fine' now than you did a minute ago."

She blinked, surprised to find that she did feel a little better with her attention somewhere other than nightmares.

"I'll take that as a yes." He said, turning back to the elevator. "Let me know when you're ready to go. According to joker, we should be there in about 20 minutes."

* * *

I sighed in relief as Shepard finally got out of the elevator.

"Bourne, give me one good reason-"

"Because I'll blast you out the goddamn airlock if you don't shut up about it! How about that for a reason Wrex?"

He growled at me, and I flared my biotics in response.

"What's the problem you two?" Shepard asked, a hand hovering near her gun.

I turned my head towards Shepard, though I kept my eyes on the gigantic alien. "We need a tech person more than we need another… whatever category of fighter he and I would fall under."

"He's got a point Commander." Ashley said, already grabbing gear from her locker. "Last mission it took Bourne and I almost a half hour just to convert a beacon."

Shepard looked like she was trying not to wince at the mention of the last mission.

I changed the subject hurriedly. "While I'm not going to say having a Krogan on the team would be a disadvantage, I'd rather be a little more… balanced, so we can deal with whatever we run into. You know, if it was a situation where we knew we'd be nothing but shooting the place up-" I gestured to Wrex. "Then I'd love to have him watching my back. Otherwise, having us both at the same time seems a bit redundant."

"Makes sense to me." She said after a moment's consideration.

Wrex grimaced, but acknowledged her decision with a nod. "Then there better be some real fighting later on."

"Oh, I'm sure there's going to be plenty to go around." Shepard said.

"On that Shepard, we can agree." I muttered.

He lumbered off with a grunt.

"So, now that that's settled, who are we taking?" Ashley asked.

"Probably Tali or Garrus." I answered.

"The Quarian? On a combat mission? She's just a kid!"

"She's also right in the engine room and she can probably hear you if you keep yelling."

Shepard put a hand on her chin. "Well, Garrus is pretty good with a sniper rifle, but so are the two of us."

"And I'm guessing Tali doesn't carry that shotgun around because it matches her helmet." I put in. "Which means if we take her, we've got you two for long range, and she and I for close range."

Shepard glanced towards the engine room. "You sure she can handle real combat?"

"Well, might as well ask."

* * *

"Bourne, you realize that's the tenth time you've checked the restraints?"

"11th actually. I'm not letting myself bounce around in this deathtrap a second time."

Tali's head wheeled towards me.

"Er, sorry, figure of speech."

She didn't look reassured, from what I could tell through the helmet.

Joker's voice broke in over the coms. "Alright, dropping in 3…2…1… goodbye."

My stomach flew into my throat, and I fought the urge to throw up a barrier. Or just plain throw up.

It eased up as the mass effect fields emitted by the tank cushioned our falls.

"What is the reasoning behind using this thing again?" I muttered as I unstrapped myself. "Dibs on the guns."

"I get them on the way back then." Ashley said, moving to navigation.

"Yeah, we'll see."

Joker's voice broke in. "Uh, Commander, Lt. I'm picking up some weird readings. Like, off the damn charts. It's coming from a compound a few clicks from where you are now."

"Roger that Joker. Moving out." Shepard moved forward, as I scanned the surrounding area for enemies to shoot at.

I was mostly just trying to distract myself, though it didn't seem like anyone else had issues with being shaken around. I figured the other two must have been used to this type of thing, while Tali probably had anti-nausea medication in her suit.

I suddenly caught a glimpse of sunlight reflecting off metal, and swiveled the gun around. "Dropship, one o'clock."

It dropped a pair of four-legged armatures, who wasted no time before they started firing at us.

Shepard hit the jets as the plasma bolts approached us, causing them to pass beneath us harmlessly.

I opened fire, and took down one's shields with a few moments of sustained fire. I shot a rocket its way to finish it off and turned to the other one. I was greeted to the sight of plasma coming straight at the guns.

Shepard hit the gas, so we went down a slope and under the blast. I let loose with a volley of machine gun fire, chipping away at the shields and armor of the synthetic. The gun overheated, but a rocket finished the job.

After a while longer- mostly uneventful- we rounded a corner, and a trio of heavy turrets was waiting for us.

"They have better numbers and high ground! We need to find another way!" Ashley yelled, watching me firing at the Geth.

Shepard took Ashley's suggestion and turned into a smaller valley to the side.

While there was still a turret there, it was like tissue paper when it was hit with a rocket.

About 25-30 Geth were waiting for us when we got into the compound, but they were bunched so close together I barely had to aim to take them down.

_Rockets are awesome. _I grinned as I took down 3 with one shot.

"Bourne, cover us while we open the gate." Shepard said, slinging her gun over her shoulder and popping the hatch.

I kept an eye out, but I was pretty sure I'd gotten everything in the area.

I saw the gates open and hit my radio to tell them it had worked. I was greeted with a burst of static in my ear, which was enough to make me wince.

I tried to break through as I saw them head into a different building.

"Wait, don't open those-" The gates slid open, revealing the turrets. "-Gates"

Realizing I was a sitting duck, I had no choice but to take them down before the Mako was completely destroyed.

By the time the first was brought down by a mix of rockets and machine gun fire, the shields were completely gone.

I turned to the next, gambling I might still be able to make it. By the time it went down, most of the armor was gone, and I could see flames when I moved the guns.

I was about to try making a break for and hoping I could get to cover before the turret tore through my armor's shields, knowing the Mako couldn't last more than another half minute.

Then I saw something go flying onto the turret, followed by something similar a few seconds later. I couldn't hold back a sigh of relief as Tali's tech mine took down its shields, allowing Shepard's grenade to destroy it.

I triggered the repair units and took a deep breath. _That was way too close._

Shepard came back in, followed by Ash and Tali. "I can't leave you alone for five minutes, can I?"

"Says the one who opened the gate and gave those things a shot at me in the first place."

Tali spoke up and I heard shame in her voice. "Actually Bourne, that was me. I thought the turrets would also be shut down."

I back tracked immediately. "Considering that you also killed that thing just in time, I'd say it balances out. Just do me a favor and don't do it again."

She slumped in her seat, and I half expected a death glare from at least one of the other two. I turned back to the weapons console, and took my agression out on the nearest group of Geth.

I took them down without really paying attention to our progress. We could have gone a mile, we could have gone ten, I wasn't paying any attention.

Shepard's voice suddenly caught my attention. "Bourne, watch out! Colossus!"

She hit the jets and narrowly avoided a burst of energy, while I let loose with the guns. The thing was at least twice the armatures, and apparently three times as tough. I fired a rocket that caught it dead on, and it wasn't even slowed.

I chipped away at its shields, and got ready to launch a rocket when they fell. I saw them fall and launched a rocket, right as Shepard hit the jets to avoid another blast. My rocket sailed over it harmlessly, allowing its shields to partially recharge.

I kept my aim as close as possible, but Shepard was in full evasive mode, and I couldn't really ask her to slow down; a couple of those blasts would take the tank down even faster than the turrets had.

I was able to eventually wear the shields down again, the machine gun requiring a less precise aim than the rockets. I smiled as its shields dropped and my rounds kept hitting the target, when they suddenly stopped. I swore as I realized the guns were overheated, and fired a rocket at it. My aim was off, but it caught a leg, making it topple. I let the guns come back online and fired at it until it overheated again, and launched a rocket at it to be safe.

I swiveled the gun around, and leaned back in my chair when I saw that there was nothing left in this area.

"Damn, those things are tough." I muttered.

"Want me to take over?" Ashley suggested.

"Just cause your rank is-"

"Don't make that same stupid joke again." She said, though I thought a saw a slight smile.

We rolled through the tunnels the colossus had been guarding. Even if I missed with the guns, Geth troopers were little more than speed bumps. I would bet Shepard had a grin on her face as she backed over one that was still intact.

The tank suddenly lurched as Shepard stopped. I barely managed to keep my lunch down.

"Why are we stopping?" Tali asked.

Shepard motioned out the window.

_Huh, we got here faster than I thought. _

I looked at the path that led to where I knew Liara was. As many attempts to try had taught me, there was no way the Mako could be coerced through that gap.

"Looks like we're going on foot." Shepard and I said at the same time. Shepard and I looked at each other, and I shrugged.

She and I were the first ones out. Shepard drew her Sniper rifle, then raised it to her eye, seeing what the opposition was.

I brought my Assault rifle into position, earning a question look from Ashley.

"I thought you'd be more of a shotgun type of guy."

I flicked a knife into hand in answer. "If they get close enough I'd need a shotgun, I've got a backup plan." I put it back and glanced at Shepard.

She seemed less distracted now, and with her eye to her rifle, she was somehow both more and far less relaxed.

"That won't do much at range." Ashley said, and I turned to see Tali holding her shotgun.

The quarian looked at the weapon, and seemed to be trying to decide whether to go with the pistol instead.

"Shepard's got range more than covered." I commented. "If they somehow get that close, it's better to have that I think."

"Knowing you Bourne, you're bound to let some of them get close." Shepard put in.

"Why's that?"

"You'll want to try out the knives."

"You really think I'd… well… ok, yeah, maybe."

Ashley raised her own rifle. "What makes you think you'll get them before me?"

I chuckled and raised my gun to my shoulder, taking point. Ashley and Tali flanked me while Shepard hung back a bit to get a better angle for her shots.

A bullet hit about a foot from where I was, and I fired in the direction it came from. I knew there was no way I'd hit the sniper at that range, but it gave the three of us time to get to cover behind a group of rocks.

I heard Shepard firing back, so I focused on a closer bunch of Geth. I lifted my rifle, using the shiny metal as a mirror to see what was there. _Half a dozen, bunched in pretty tight._

I took my hand off the trigger of my rifle, holding it with my left hand by the grip.

I stood up and launched a singularity into the group. All but one went flying helplessly into the air. I flicked my wrist, sending a trio of knives into my hand, and I threw them at the group, guiding them with my biotics. The one standing was hit in the eye, while 2 more in the air were hit in the 'neck'.

Ashley and Tali accounted for the other two.

The knives on the back of my arm rotated onto the wrist to replace the ones I'd thrown, and I looked at it in approval.

I grabbed a couple of knives from my belt and slid them into the vacant spots, then raised my rifle again and waved the group forward.

Shepard kept her fire on the snipers, allowing Ashley and I to take out the closer Geth. Tali's shotgun wasn't much good at that range, but she more than made up for it with her Tech attacks.

"You know, it's almost a pity these things don't show expression." I commented.

"Why's that?" Ashley asked, shooting down a hovering drone.

"Can you imagine the look on their faces when they go to fire a gun and realize it's now overheated, and then it explodes?"

I moved my aim to another target, but it dropped before I could even fire. I saw Shepard out of the corner of my eye, behind cover a few meters over.

"About time you joined the party." I commented.

"These things finally learned to get behind cover. I can't get a bead on one long enough to take them out."

"What about up on the ridge?"

"Pretty sure I got them all."

I glanced over the rock, realizing for the first time how much I'd taken the ability to look over objects and around corners for granted.

I couldn't see any of them, and I realized they were waiting for us to get closer. _Big mistake._

I slung my assault rifle back onto my back and grabbed my shotgun from my hip. _Huh, if I'm not carrying a sniper rifle, maybe it'd make more sense to store it in that spot._

"Cover me." I said, putting up a barrier and sprinting towards their positions. Fire bounced off my shields and barrier, and I slid into cover a second after they finally dropped.

I waited for them to recharge, catching my breath and trying to listen and see if they were approaching. All I got as a warning was a brief movement to my right, and I spun that direction, firing my shotgun as the Geth fired its own. My shields were already depleted, and the blast wiped them out, while the synthetic's shields were still at half strength.

Trading shots again wasn't going to cut it; I dropped my gun and ripped the Geth's from its surprised hands. It took a second to react, which was all I needed to hit it with a biotic punch that sent it to the ground. I retrieved my shotgun and shot it point blank, blowing a hole in its torso.

I suddenly noticed a new blip on my radar and turned around to see another Geth. It raised its gun, only to have its head promptly explode.

I looked and saw Shepard and the others coming down the hill. I swapped my shotgun for my assault rifle, and waited for them to get closer.

Shepard glared at me, and I took a step back before I could stop myself.

"Next time, warn us before you go off and do something that stupid. Or better yet, don't do it in the first place!"

"If you had another plan, should've shared it then."

She glared a moment more before pushing past me up the hill. "We'll discuss it when we aren't being shot at."

"The way things have been going lately, that's not going to be anytime soon." I muttered as I followed her up the hill, my eye open for the hostiles I knew would be there.

I knew that the colossus would be hard to take down, and was grateful that Shepard still had grenades.

We moved in, and I saw a Geth hanging on the ceiling. I shouted a warning as I warped it and it fell to the ground. Then several more Geth fell from a dropship to the ground.

I ducked behind a crate as the giant Colossus unfolded.

Shepard got into cover next to me, while Ash and Tali took cover behind a crate across from us.

Shepard ducked out and hurled a grenade at the colossus. It barely scratched it. "Tali, can you take down its Shields?" I asked as I threw a knife at one of the Snipers. _The fact that they're working is the only good thing about this situation._

"I don't know! Its shields are a lot more advanced!" She activated her Omni-tool, and its shields depleted after a few seconds. Ashley and I hit with some sustained fire and they dropped completely. "Shepard, now's the term to use those grenades!" I yelled.

"I'm out!"

I bit back a curse. I had been counting on her grenades to save our sorry asses. "Perfect."

I snuck my head around the corner, only to immediately duck back and put up a barrier. The pulse launched by the colossus impacted only inches from the crate. It completely tore apart my barrier, and partially depleted Shepard's shields.

_To quote Miranda "This is going to be one tough son of a bitch to take down."_

"Shepard, switch to your Sniper Rifle, and aim for its eye!" Shepard looked at me oddly, but did just that. Tough as it was, its eye was at least damaged by the high powered shots- as were its shields. I shot at it from my end as well, along with tossing a few warp fields to further weaken it. Ashley and Tali were keeping the other Geth distracted, allowing the two of us to focus entirely on it. Finally, the colossus shuddered, and collapsed.

I took a deep breath and looked over at the others. That breath caught in my throat as I saw the last Geth standing directly being Ashley, ready to blow her head off.

The seconds passed as a blur, my adrenaline spiking. I was taking action without really considering it, and my memory seemed to almost stop recording. Next thing I knew, I stood over the Geth's corpse, my gun smoking in my right hand, my left glowing blue. A single glance at Ashley showed that I'd put her in stasis. _What the heck did I just do?_

I cut off the biotic field, and she wheeled around, her muscles responding to signal she had been unable to properly relay before. She lowered her gun once she realized it was me. She looked at the corpse, then back at me. She was shaking slightly, not surprising.

"You alright?"

"You… you just…"

A Geth I'd thought was dead choose that moment to fire at me, and I threw a knife its way. I hit it in the torso, though I was aiming for the head. It still hurt it, though. It stopped, and I used the opportunity to hit it with a burst of rifle fire.

_Apparently I still need to practice with my left hand. Not nearly as accurate. Maybe I could get bigger ones so it didn't matter… I'll think about it another time. _

"I didn't even see what happened." Ashley said, finally finding her voice. "How did you-"

"Instinct I guess." I tried to keep my voice calm as I suddenly realized how I'd covered the distance and taken it down in what couldn't have been more than a few seconds.

_I biotically charged it? But, no, that's impossible!_ But the more I thought it through, the more sense it made.

_I must've put her in stasis to protect her, and then hit that thing at mach 2._

_But that doesn't make any sense! I can create singularities, and that's meant to be an adept-only ability! Charge was vanguard only! I know I'm not just an adapt, but still…_ _I know this isn't a game, so it's not going to mirror it exactly but something about it still seems weird. _

_It must've been a freak accident, an adrenaline spike. It's the only explanation. _I didn't like it, but like Holmes said, eliminate the impossible, whatever's left has to be the truth.

I realized I was being left behind and sprinted to followed the others into the complex.

Tali switched to her pistol, better for range.

I did as well, sending my pistol to my left hand, flicking my wrist and sending several knives into my right. A few Geth were waiting for us, but they didn't last long. I sent a tight grouping of knives into one's chest, and it fell backwards to the ground, landing in pieces. I shot another Geth, just accurate enough to hit it while the others finished off the rest.

_Note to self- practice with left hand. Around here, who knows when I'm going to end up unable to use my right?_

I knew there was no way I was getting the three knives back, so I replaced them with three from my belt. I rounded a corner, and another Geth was waiting for me. I threw it against the wall, and shot it a few times. That did the trick.

We moved down the rest of the platform without incident and headed towards the elevator. The others holstered their guns, and I did the same, though I kept a couple knives collapsed in my hand.

Ashley looked over the railing, then turned to me. "Dare you to spit over the side" She said with a smirk. I spotted a part of the Geth my knives had taken out, and complied, hitting it dead on.

I turned to Ashley. "So what's my prize?" I grinned. She slugged in me in the shoulder in response.

She looked at her fist a moment later, as if realizing what she'd done. I shrugged and turned back to the others. I probably would have felt it more if Shepard hadn't gotten me used to stronger impacts.

Shepard moved into the elevator, motioning us to follow. It dropped a few floors and we got out.

_Huh, that's weird. Shouldn't it have just stopped and made us jump?_

I got my answer when drones appeared and took down my shields.

_Oh, right, that's the next elevator._

I warped one in response, while Tali's shotgun accounted for another one, and Ashley shot down a third.

We boarded the elevator I had been thinking of, and after a few moments it suddenly stopped. I jumped forward out of the elevator, and waved the others to follow. Shepard dropped to the lower level, rifle raised, ready for more Geth. I didn't bother, knowing what we'd really find.

"Uh, Hello? Can somebody help me? Please?"

**And, that'll do it for this chapter. See you next week.**

**Also, on the off chance any of my "A New Strategy" readers happen to see this, I am working on a new chapter, it's just taking me a while. I haven't abandoned the story, I'm just focusing more on this one. **

**Anyway, until next time... Man, I hate it when I can't think of something to put there.  
**

**Although, I do have one question. How many of you came to read this because you read the original, and how many just stumbled upon this version first? Just curious. **

**Anyway, see you next monday morning/sunday night**


	18. If I Should Fall

"Uh, Hello? Could somebody help me? Please?"

Shepard started at the sound of Liara's voice, while I had been waiting to hear it.

"Tali, Ashley, watch our backs." I said, moving in that direction, Shepard right on my heels.

Liara looked a bit different than I remembered, since I'd become used to her appearance in the later games.

"Can you hear me out there? I am trapped and need help!"

"Huh, good thing you told me. I wouldn't have been able to figure out from the energy fields and-" I cut myself off as Shepard shot me a glare that clearly said to shut up.

_"_We're here to get you out of here" Shepard assured her.

"Thank the Goddess. I didn't think anybody would come for me." She answered, reassured but still understandably worried.

_At least she doesn't think we're hallucinations- though that would be a bit entertaining. Having Shepard ask about anything and everything on the other hand, not so much. _

"What is this thing?" I pretended to ask as I put my hand against the barrier, cutting off Shepard's own question.

"It's a prothean barrier curtain; I activated it to keep out the Geth. But I must have hit something I wasn't supposed to. Now…"

Shepard spoke up. "Now it looks like it's doing a better job of keeping you in. Any ideas how to shut it off?"

I shrugged. I don't see a way to turn it off from here. We'll have to find some way around it, and deactivate it from your side."

"Uh Lieutenant? Her mother is working with Saren. How do we know we can trust her?" _Sigh. I really should have seen that coming. _

"What? I am not on his side, or anybody's. I may be Benezia's daughter, but I am nothing like her-"

I spun around to face her. "Williams, now is really not a good time. How about we worry about it when there aren't Geth shooting at us?" I emphasized my statement by warping a Geth that had managed to sneak up on us.

Shepard's sniper rifle was in her hand before it even hit the ground. She took out a pair of Geth down below us, causing her rifle to overheat. Ashley provided covering fire, scattering the Geth, while I drew my Assault Rifle.

"You know, I'm really starting to hate these things. A lot." I commented as I saw a tightly packed group and let loose a singularity.

"I'm sure they feel the same way about you Bourne." Shepard replied as she took two of the trapped Geth down with headshots.

I took out the other three in the group with a warp and my rifle, and then waved the others down the ramp while I covered them. I couldn't hit much, but it definitely kept the Geth from moving to where I could. As soon as they reached the bottom, Shepard's voice came over my earpiece. "Ok Bourne, now you get down here."

I swapped weapons and jumped over the edge, slowing the fall with my biotics. As I landed in front of two surprised Geth, I gave each a shotgun blast to the face. "I'm here."

"Showoff" Ashley muttered.

I grinned, and threw a Geth against a wall. Tali took it down with her pistol, having swapped to the longer ranged weapon. Seeing a flash to my right, I rolled forward, barely avoiding a rocket. I spun around to face it, but it hit a crate directly behind me and the blast knocked me on my face. Shepard took it down as I got back up.

Two more Geth came my way, their rifles chipping away at my shields. I threw them into another group, and saw an explosion come from that direction.

"Nice shot Skipper!" Ashley grinned as she took down another Geth.

_Ah, gotta love all the explosive containers that are everywhere._

I turned to thank Shepard, but instead saw another Geth leveling its gun at me. I flicked my wrist and biotically sent it stumbling back slightly, a new trick I had picked up from practicing on the Normandy. My shotgun took its head right off. I heard a few more rifle shots from Shepard and Ashley, then nothing.

"Looks like that's all of them Shepard" Tali said. I holstered my shotgun, but drew my pistol just in case.

I walked over to Shepard. She had her rifle away and her pistol in her hand as a backup. I motioned to it. "What did you have to go and steal my idea for?"

"Do you ever stop screwing around?"

"It's been known to happen on rare occasions. Usually when I'm asleep and incapable of talking."

Tali interrupted us. "Do either of you see a way to get past the barrier?"

Shepard turned, scanning the room. She turned to me, but she just saw my back, as I was already heading towards the mining laser.

I called back "I don't see any way to get around, but I think I i just found a way through it."

I opened the controls, and the others walked over.

"Bourne, do you even know how to work that thing?" Shepard asked.

"Personally, I'd rather not have you hit the wrong thing and bring the whole place down on us." Ashley agreed. "Remember the last time you tried-"

"Alright, alright. Tali, think you can get this working?"

"Maybe." I moved aside, and she took a few seconds to study it. She pushed a few buttons, then the laser cut through the wall blocking our way.

"Nice work Tali" Shepard appraised her.

"Guess you were right about needing a tech person." I commented to Ashley.

She glanced at me- or maybe it was a glare- then turned and followed Shepard.

_Know what? Next time I'm taking Wrex so there's at least one person I can understand on the team. Cause women definitely don't qualify. _

We moved down the tunnel, and activated the lift, reaching the same level that Liara was on.

As we approached, she turned her head back to face us. "Oh, how did you-"

I cut her off. "We blasted our way through with that giant mining laser."

"Oh, of course, that makes sense. Please, get me out of here before more Geth arrive."

Shepard was already halfway to the release panel, then Ashley spoke up. "Well, I don't see any Geth shooting at us now Bourne. So now can we worry about it?"

"Williams…" It wasn't a request to shut up, it was clearly an order. Even I felt intimidated by Shepard's voice, and it wasn't even aimed my way this time.

Luckily Liara didn't seem to have heard.

"That button there should turn off the containment field." She told Shepard. Shepard hit it and released her, dropping her to the ground. She brushed herself off as she stood up.

"Do you know how we get out of here?" Tali asked.

"There is an elevator back in the center of the tower. At least, I think it's an elevator. It should take us out of here."

"Great, now I'm totally reassured." Ash put in. Shepard shot her a death glare and she shut up.

"Let's get moving" Shepard said

We proceed in silence, not wanting to attract more Geth attention.

Eventually, we reached the Elevator. "I still cannot believe all this. Why would the Geth come after me?"

"No idea. Maybe because you're Benezia's daughter, but I really doubt it, seeing as they don't seem to be here for benevolent reasons."

Ashley looked at me in irritation for defending her again.

"Saren's looking for the conduit. Think fast, Ms. Prothean expert."

This time I was the one who shut her up with a look, though mine was more disapproving than angry.

Liara seemed lost in thought a moment. "The Conduit? But I don't know-" her words were cut off as a tremor shook the ruins we were standing in.

"Well. That's just peachy." I said sarcastically.

"These ruins are unstable. That mining laser must have triggered a seismic event." Liara said.

"What? Oh Keelah, I knew we shouldn't have used it." Tali said.

"I disagree, but we can discuss blame when we aren't at risk of being buried." I said.

"He's right. We have to hurry" Liara agreed, activating the lift.

Shepard raised her hand her to ear piece and radioed Joker. "Joker, get the Normandy airbourne and lock in on my signal!"

"Aye Aye, ETA 8 minutes."

I grinned slightly. "If we die in here because you're late, I'm going to come back and haunt you."

"Really Bourne? Another horrible Joke? Even now?"

"If it'll get you here faster, then yes. Double time it."

The lift began rising, and I flicked several knives into each hand. I knew I'd had the right idea when I saw the Krogan that was waiting for us at the top of the lift.

Shepard waved her hand back, signaling Liara to back up away from the fight.

"Surrender. Or don't. That would be more fun." His hand twitched towards his gun as he added that.

"Is there a reason you're in our way?" I asked, biotics flaring. _In hindsight, not taking Wrex wasn't such a good idea after all. This guy looks like a tough customer, to say the least. Not to mention the squad of Geth._

"Take a guess. The Asari." He gestured to her. "Thanks for getting rid of those energy fields for us. Now hand her over."

Shepard unholstered her rifle, bringing it around to a ready position. "Not happening."

"You don't have a choice."

"You do. Leave here in one piece, or stay here in several." I said, eyeing the Geth, sizing them up and trying to decide who the bigger threat was.

"Saren always gets what he wants" He shot back, drawing his shotgun. _Well, that answers that question. _

I stepped forward. "Not today" My biotics flared across my arms. "You deal with the Geth." I said over my shoulder to Shepard. "This idiot is mine."

I threw my arms forward, sending the knives towards his face. He rolled to the side, only one so much as scratching him.

"You missed." He taunted, raising his shotgun, and firing right at me. I rolled to left and landed in a crouch. I saw my shields deplete, and I knew I'd barely avoided more of the blast.

I flung my arm back, and he roared as some of the knives turned around and flew into his back.

He flung a Warp field at me, so I put up a barrier. The two abilities canceled each other out; he hadn't been expecting that, so he was slightly slow to react. I threw him back against the wall, though it seemed to barely even stun him.

He threw me back as well, though I managed to roll as I landed. I still had the wind knocked out of me, but I managed to get back on my feet a bit quicker.

"If you give up now, I'll make your death quick."

"Not happening." I said as I threw another knife, right at his face. He just laughed as it went in, the wound already beginning to heal as he pulled it out and slid it along the ground.

"If that's all you've got, you've already lost." He lowered his head and ran towards me, charging me. I rolled to the side at the last minute, and it was close enough to smell him.

_Time to go for broke. _As he turned, I threw him against the wall again. Off balance, this time he was sent back a lot harder.

I spread my arms, using my biotics to pull off every knife I had on my arms. I saw his eyes widen slightly as he realized what I was planning. I clapped, sending forward a ball of energy that the knives were pulled along by.

His shields flared as they tried in vain to stop the large pieces of metal, but most of them hit their mark, as did the orb that solidly went into his head and knocked him off his feet.

_Well, that worked. Though if I keep doing that, I'm going to need to get a lot more knives.  
_

I slowly approached, and saw that he was still breathing, although most of them were firmly lodged in his head and neck. One of them moved as he rolled his eyes to look at me. He glared with his one good eye, while the other bled.

"You cannot stop Saren." He said.

"Is that so?" _From my point of view, his record is 0-15. Not counting reimports. _

"You have no idea what he's capable of."

"Enlighten me." I said sarcastically.

He said something I couldn't hear, and I moved closer so I could. I was suddenly knocked to the ground as he swung his arm into my side, knocking the wind out of me of and throwing me to the ground._ Damnit, I know Krogan heal fast, but I didn't know it was that fast._

I flung my arm up as he stood over me, and he was pulled into the air by the singularity I generated above him. He tried to aim his shotgun, but I tore it from his grasp with my biotics. I grabbed it from the air and pressed it to his head before he could react.

"Looks like you're the one getting a quick death."

I pulled the trigger and let the singularity fade.

I threw his gun to the side as my heartbeat started slowing down a bit. _That was way too close._

Suddenly, I felt, rather than saw, something behind me, and I rolled forward, a gunshot passing over me by mere inches. As I rolled, my head was temporally facing towards where I had come from, and I saw a Geth with a shotgun freeze for a moment, processing the fact that I was still alive. I landed, and threw my arms behind me. A few of my knives flew from my belt and hit it with their blunt ends. One, more by luck than anything, went into the eye, a blinding hit.

It moved its shotgun wildly, trying to hear me. I rolled again, backwards this time, and went right past its legs. It spun, trying to kill me in spite of its blindness, but I ducked below its gun, and sent my pistol into my hand. I shot it twice in the head, and fired into the chest until the gun overheated.

_I swear it was not this hard in the game._

"Bourne, come on!" Shepard's voice snapped me out of my all-consuming focus on my battles and survival. I hadn't even heard them killing the rest of the Geth. I ran towards them, and as I did so, the energy barrier blocking our way fell. We ran through the site, debris falling all around us.

"Come on! Move!" I didn't even know if I shouted it, Shepard shouted it, or we both did. We ran across a walkway, out a door, and ended up on a platform high above the ground.

_This isn't where- Dammnit! __ My delay must've slowed us down, caused more debris to fall, blocked off the normal exit. _

I heard the Normandy swooping in, and looked towards the end of the platform. I saw it hovering in air, its back hatch open, Garrus and Kaiden waving us towards it. Shepard ran towards it, followed by Ashley and Tali. I was right on their heels, but I stopped short as pain shot up my side where the Krogan had hit me.

_Damnit! He must've cracked a couple ribs._ The shaking platform got me running anyway, gritting my teeth against the pain.

I felt the platform shake again, and this time I saw the pillars holding it up collapse. It made me run even faster, pushed by adrenaline. I saw Shepard and the other two getting closer, but in my peripheral vision, I saw that the collapsing pillars were catching up to us, and the entire platform was breaking apart and falling.

The emptiness caused by a lack of platform seemed to follow me, gaining on me. I ran faster than I ever had before, my newly acquired stamina coming into play. I started catching up to Shepard. She and the others were less than 20 feet away.

But the collapse was right on my heels. I frantically tried to charge forward like I had before, but I was unable to do it. _No! There is no way I'm letting them die because of me!_

I halted and threw both arms forward, lifting and throwing them into the Normandy. Kaiden caught Shepard and Ashley with his Biotics, while Tali, being lighter, flew into Garrus' surprised arms. Liara activated her Biotics, and floated into the ship under her own power.

I started sprinting towards it again, but I only made it a few steps before I felt the ground collapse under my feet.

I felt my stomach go into my throat as I fell, and I closed my eyes, waiting for the end. _I should've known I wasn't cut out for this. At least Shepard and the others made it. _

I suddenly felt myself begin to slow down. My eyes snapped open again, and I saw I was surrounded by a blue biotic glow- not my own. I looked up towards the Normandy and saw both Kaiden and Liara leaning out, both glowing biotically. I realized they were what all that was keeping me from falling to my death. The Normandy seemed to grow bigger as I realized they were lifting me, and I added my own abilities to lessen what they needed to do. I knew Kaiden wasn't nearly as strong as I was, and was unsure how long Liara could last after being stuck in that barrier for so long.

Then I saw Wrex appear, also glowing biotically. The scarred battle master added his biotics to ours, and I felt myself rising faster.

After about half a minute, we finally succeed in getting me level with the Normandy, and they pulled me inside, seconds before the hatch closed as we left the atmosphere. I collapsed on the floor as the others finally wore out their Biotics. Even Wrex was panting from the effort.

I stayed there a moment, then Ashley helped me to my feet. "Do me a favor and don't scare us like that again."

I opened my mouth to speak, but stopped short as pain shot up my side, and I instinctively pressed my hand against it. I looked down to see the hilt of a knife sticking out of my armor. My hand was completely red, and blood had already coated my side, starting to drip down my legs.

I looked at Ashley, and saw her lips moving silently, horror on her face.

My vision faded as I fell backwards, and then all I knew was darkness.

* * *

Shepard ran forward to catch him as he fell, swearing. "When-"

"I don't know." Ashley said as she grabbed his other side and helped her lower him to the ground. "Maybe the Krogan?"

She nodded, and took in his injuries. The fact that he'd been sprinting could've shaken the knife around, which would explain why he was bleeding so much. Normally the knife itself would help seal the wound and prevent bleeding if it was left in.

"We need to get him to Chakwas." Kaidan said.

"He's been moved enough as it is." Shepard said, eyes not leaving Bourne.

_Ashley and I aren't going to be able to move fast, and the Biotics are going to be pretty drained too._

"Garrus, you're the only fresh one here. Get her down here."

He nodded and ran for the elevator.

Shepard looked at the knife, rapidly thinking through her options. In the field she'd have to be making do with a patch job, but with a doctor on the way, she might only make things worse.

_Can't apply pressure without removing his armor, and I can't do that without also taking out the knife, which would definitely not help. _

She triggered her Omnitool, using medigel to try holding the flesh together. The bleeding slowed, but didn't stop.

_Dammit Bourne, you better not die on me!_

* * *

**Ah, me and my cliffhangers, eh? Been a while since I got to torture you guys with one of these.  
**

**Anyway, see you next week. **

**(Although I really like how the next chapter came out, so if I can I may just end up releasing it early. No promises though.)**


	19. The Choice

For the second time in recent memory, I was pretty sure I was dreaming.

For one thing, my last memory was of seeing a knife jammed into my side, and then collapsing.

Although I knew this wasn't the Normandy, it took me a second to realize where I was now. I looked around, and recognized the beat up couch, and the shelf covered in video games.

I recognized the older 360, which was currently powered on and hooked up to the TV.

And I also recognized the person on the couch, starting a new game of Mass Effect.

_This is bizarre. _I thought, knowing how much of an understatement it was as I thought it.

I could see my reflection in the TV screen, and we…I… both versions of me looked similar, but different, thanks to my appearance apparently having been warped together with Iron's.

_Did I really keep my hair that long? _I wondered briefly. As I thought it, the hair became shorter, and I stared at it in confusion.

_They must be giving me some pretty strong pain meds to get me this fucked up._

I looked past the reflection, at the screen itself.

I could somehow 'hear' what the other me was thinking. "_Now of course_, s_he needs a name… something heroic sounding… Wasp? Nah, that's stupid."_

I had to agree with…uh, me.

"_Ah, but am I really you?"_

I frowned at the question, before I wondered how the other me knew I was here. _Or for that matter, where 'here' is._

Suddenly, lightning crackled around the controller, and the console itself. Before the past me could drop it, the lightning struck him, flowing through his limbs and forcing them into an x.

He screamed as the lightning blasted him apart, the light bright enough to blind me, leaving me seeing black spots when it disappeared.

I rubbed my eyes furiously, trying to get my sight back, and looked around again. I instinctively put a knife in my hand when I realized the problem.

It wasn't my sight that had gone black, it was the world around me that had. It was like being in a giant glass room in space; all I could see were tiny pinpricks of light, amidst an endless black void.

I told myself to relax, that it was only a dream.

_Unless I'm dead. _The thought came before I could stop it. I forced back the image, but I couldn't hold back a shiver. I was uncertain that my face was its usual blank mask either.

Suddenly, it felt a lot colder. A moment later, the black void was replaced, and the inner chill was replaced with a freezing wind I could feel even through my armor.

I saw someone that had to be me- or at least represent me-standing in front of the last living rachni queen. Those two things were crystal clear, but everything else around them was blurry and indistinct, not as important as the main issue.

I tried to move closer, to hear what was said, but my feet were frozen in place. I looked down at the ground, but saw nothing that should be restricting my movement.

When I looked back up, the only thing the same was that other me.

I looked around and realized I was on the citadel- which was attached to the crucible, judging by the view outside at the battles going on. And a certain AI I could see from where I was.

I wondered briefly if I could shoot that stupid holographic kid, who the altered version of me was currently talking to.

I/he was nodding, without actually listening. I could once again hear his thoughts. _"Hmm, if I take over, then I'll die in the process, but on the other hand, having full control of them is something I wouldn't mind. Whereas If I merge them with that green explosion, I'll die, but insure peace. Lame."_

I recoiled from the words. Something was clearly wrong, and not just the words themselves. The voice wasn't mine, not even close. It was much harsher, and far deeper. It was as though I'd thrown out my voice, or my throat had been burned and not fully healed.

"_So, I guess I'll go for destroying them all. I'm not going to last long anyway, but this option seems like the best outcome, since it means I get to watch everything burn."_

In one fluid movement as I/he turned, a knife was drawn and thrown right through the hologram. "That answer enough for you?"

The hologram turned and disappeared, voice distorted, but that wasn't what I really noticed.

Nor was it my/his voice, whit was just as bad out loud. Nor was the way I saw the Reapers destroying everything through the windows what got my attention.

It was the eyes of the other me. I was almost used to my new glowing blue irises, but this version had glowing red pupils as well. And the face was scarred nearly beyond recognition, cracked and glowing red on both cheeks, and above the eyes.

I could swear he was looking right at me.

"Good instincts." He said aloud as red energy flared along his outstretched arm, throwing me back several feet. The wind was knocked out of me as I hit the ground.

As he walked towards me, the red energy spread across the armor, causing it to shift and change color. The knives around the arms disappeared, replaced by heavy metal plates along the top of the arm. The grey cameo disappeared, replaced by a solid layer of crimson.

The red Omega on the chest plate was replaced as well. As I looked at the logo, N7 with a red triangle at the corner, I realized who this truly was. It wasn't just an evil representation of myself. No, it was far worse.

"_Took you long enough."_

His mouth's only movement was into a cruel smile, made even crueler as his shining blue eyes turned to a burning red. His hair was the same color now as well.

"_I don't believe we've met in person. The name's Iron Shepard."_

* * *

Shepard and the others looked up as Chakwas came out of the elevator, two of her assistants pushing Bourne in on a bed. His armor was gone, and he had several IVS jammed into his arms, along with a breathing mask across his face. Shepard couldn't see his side, where he'd been stabbed, but she knew it couldn't be good.

The doctor had ordered everyone out of the cargo bay so she'd have room to work, as he was too injured to be moved to the medbay. Since then, most of the squad had been waiting for news in the mess hall.

Liara was being checked over by one of Chawkwas's assistants, since she'd been trapped without food and water for so long, and been without sleep. And Kaidan's efforts in getting him onboard had triggered a migraine, and he was lying down.

Shepard motioned to the others to stay put at their table and got up to talk to the doctor.

Chakwas waited for her assistants to take him into the med bay and pulled Shepard aside.

"How is he?" She asked.

"He was lucky- relatively speaking. His armor was thick enough to stop the knife before it hit any major organs. But he does have several broken ribs on that side, and one of them punctured the lung. Not a large wound, but enough to put him out of action for a bit."

She sighed in relief. "I'm going to wring his neck for taking on a Krogan solo."

"Well, he's not quite in the clear Commander. I noticed that he was bleeding much more heavily than is normal for the type of wound he received. Since the knife was brought on board, I had one of my assistants take a second look at it."

Shepard didn't like the sound of that. "What did he find?"

"The knife was treated with some sort of toxin."

Shepard swore under her breath.

"I haven't been able to identify it yet, but it looks like he got a rather strong dose. As it is…"

"There's no real way to tell what it'll do to him?"

"It means I'm not sure what all of his symptoms from it will be. But his liver is beginning to decay, between trying to filter it from his system, and the toxins themselves. She paused a moment to let that sink in. "He's going to need a transplant."

"We don't exactly have a donor onboard."

"I know. I'm going to have to flash clone him a new one."

She understood the edge in the doctor's voice; while organ cloning was possible, precautions to ensure viability meant it usually had to be done in at least several weeks, if not months_- time Bourne doesn't have. _

Doing it so fast carried risks, but so did waiting until he could be transported to proper medical facilities.

She had to force herself to keep her voice calm. "Get on it, and keep me updated."

She turned to the squad, thinking about how she could be honest without being pessimistic.

"There is one other detail that bears mentioning."

Shepard looked back over her shoulder at her.

"While we were moving him into the elevator, his eyes snapped open for a moment. They almost seemed to be glowing. It may just have been a trick of the light-"

"Would he be able to use biotics? In his current state?" Shepard interrupted.

Chakwas considered it a moment. "It's rare for biotics to use their abilities while unconscious, but it's not unheard of."

"Do you have some way to keep him from using them?"

"…I believe there are restraints in the brig that negate biotic abilities." She paused. "Why do you ask?"

"He told me that it's a… to use his phrasing 'they glow when I use the biotics, they don't glow when I don't.' If they were glowing, it means he was at least getting ready to use them."

"I see… I'll have the restraints brought up. This isn't anything I've heard of before."

"That's what I said. And so far as he knows, he's the only human biotic that does something like that."

"I may run some tests on him to see if I can determine why. It may be a side effect of bad implants, or a genetic disorder. Probably harmless, but it bears checking up on."

Shepard looked at the medbay. "Let me know if anything changes."

* * *

I tried to get back to my feet, but a crimson boot kept me where I was. That, and the pistol aimed at my head.

"So, I'm sure you have a lot of questions right now. And to start with the most important, yes, I do use conditioner." He giggled like a maniac.

_Probably because that's exactly what he is._

_(Oh come now, there's no need for that.) _

I flinched at hearing his voice inside my head.

_(Well, technically this is all taking place inside your head; it's just that before you were imagining using your ears instead of this way.) _He swapped back to speaking 'aloud'. "Now, as I'm sure you know, I normally would just try to get to a position where I could kill you, but seeing as I already have you pretty much dead to rights… hey, let's roleplay."

_Oh you've got to be kidding me._

"Nope, not at all. By the way, since I'm going to hear your thoughts anyway, can you just direct them at me instead of trying to keep them hidden? I feel like that'd be easier for both parties."

I grit my teeth.

_(See, you'll be the player asking questions, and I'm the NPC/Plot device who answers them all.)_

I sighed. _)Ok. If my subconscious is going to choose this way to explain things, then screw it, I'll go along with it for now.(_

_(There's the spirit.)_

"Alright, I guess I should ask why you're the version of Shepard that showed up. Even if it wasn't Raptor, I'd have expected someone like Shock or Blade or H-"

"You really did pick the dumbest names for us, you know that?" He chuckled. "Well, there's the fact that I was the last version of- well, me- that you created before you ended up here."

"What's Raptor, chopped liver?"

He shrugged. "You hadn't hit 'accept' for her yet."

_(Oh, and there's also the fact that you ended up with my particular skill set. For the most part.)_

_) Then why can't I charge? - I mean besides the one time I did. If I'd charged onto the ship, I wouldn't have been so close to-(_

"Come on, isn't it obvious?" he gestured to the images of destruction still visible through the windows of the citadel. "Would you have done this? Or killed Wrex? Or the Rachni queen? Or Samara? Or the Council? Would you have wiped out the Quarians or the Heretics? Would you have done the dirty with the Consort?"

"How is that last one even comparable?" _Especially considering that it's the only maybe in the bunch._

_(You do remember that I can read your mind, right?)_

_)...FML.( _

"Anyway, I guess there's also the fact that I'm the one that's going to kill you and take over your body."

"… Was that another insane non sequitur or-"

"Look, the first thing you remember was getting zapped, right?"

I didn't answer, but he apparently was telling the truth about being able to read my mind.

"Well, to make a very long story short, when you got zapped here, since I was the most recent version of… me I guess, I'm the one you got the powers from. The biotics, the shotgun/pistol abilities, the extra ability to use an assault rifle- you get the idea."

I laughed. "I have to give my subconscious credit- well that or the pain meds I'm probably being pumped full of- but there's one major problem with that theory."

"Oh? What's that?"

"The fact that I can create singularities, yet can't charge- especially since you didn't have that ability in the first game anyway. And I've got a few other tricks that weren't exactly your style."

_(That's what I was saying about the whole 'renegade' thing. You're too soft to go for that sort of thing, so the fusion didn't quite take.) _He shrugged. _(The damage must've been replaced with by one of your adapts… probably 'Hero', since she was your last before me.) _

_)Will you stick to one form of communication or the other? You keep going from talking to telepathy, and I don't know which of your 'voices' I find more repulsive.(_

He rolled his eyes. _(Have it your way.)_

_)Alright, so assuming I believe you- which I don't by the way- there's still the question of how I got zapped here to begin with.(_

He shrugged. _(Not sure why you ended up here, but then again I don't care. You at least ended up with body instead of just being a voice in someone's head. But now, when I kill you, I end up with an actual body, a few extra powers from Hero, and my own set of skills. )_

_)You think I ended up here just so you-(  
_

_(Well, let's face it. I like killing things, and we both know that somewhere down the line, I was going to massacre the universe as much as possible.) _He smiled. It was a lunatic's smile, and combined with the way the glowing scars were warped by it, I couldn't fight back a shiver, even as my face remained impassive.

_(But that's only one universe. I figure… now that I'm here…I'm going to be the most powerful being in existence!)_

_)You're a lunatic.(_

_(I'm sorry, which of us attempted to kill Wrex?)_

_)There's a lot of difference between punching him and- You shot him in the face for Cripes' sake!(_

_(Exactly. I killed him. You only _tried_ to kill him.) _He gestured to his weapon with his free hand. _(And I'm not going to _try _to kill you.)_

_)And you think that if you kill me, then you'll somehow end up with my body?(_

_(Look who figured it out. And without any help either.)_

_)There's just a couple of problems with your plan.(_

_(I'm holding a gun pointed at your head. I fail to see any problem.) _He looked at it. _(Although, come to think of it, maybe a pistol isn't good enough.)_ He slid it back onto his hip. _(I think I'll go with the shotgun instead.)_

As he reached around to grab it, I created a ball of energy in my hand, and launched it at his back.

He went flying off of me, and I rolled back to my feet. "Problem with your plan number 1. You're a lunatic, and your plan would do nothing but kill me."

He shrugged as he got back to his feet. "I like killing things, so I'd say I win no matter what."

"Problem 2, is that thanks to you-" I slung my own assault rifle over my shoulder. "I'm not going to be so easy to kill."

He rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers, and suddenly my armor and weapons were gone.

_(You were saying? This is your nightmare, but it's my world.)  
_

I swore and rolled to the side as he opened fire with his own rifle. My barrier was enough to hold off what I couldn't dodge, though not by much.

_(You've got no protection, and no weapons. What makes you think you have a chance against me?)_

I answered by throwing him with as much biotic force as I could muster.

He managed to cushion his fall with a barrier, though he dropped his gun in the process. I threw a wave of energy towards it as well, sending it over the edge of the platform and into oblivion.

Iron snarled as he got back to his feet. _(Two can play that game.)_

He was suddenly right in front of me, punching me in the gut. I was thrown up into the air, and had all the air knocked out of me as I landed.

_(You might not have played through the later games with me yet, but you were thinking about how I'd be. I've got everything you would have given me. The armor, the weapons, the biotic powers… ) _He stopped for a moment, thinking_. (Though for some reason I don't have Dominate. What's up with that?)_

_)It was always the shields that got in my way with vanguards.( _I responded as I managed to get back up._)I was going to try Shield Drain on for size.( _

_(You were going to give me Tali's power? That makes no sense! I'm not a tech guy, and I hated her.)_

I took advantage of his distraction, hitting him with a warp field that left a hole in his chest plate, surrounded by blackened metal.

He looked down at it, then glared at me with pure rage. He pulled his shotgun from his hip, and I swore as a familiar orange hologram appeared around it. _(Let's see how tough you are when you're set on fire.)_

_)Crap(_

He slowly walked towards me, waiting until he got in range to fire. I took a step back, then realized I was at the edge of the platform. If I tried getting around him, I'd only be closer, but if I didn't do something…

_)Well, if I got merged with you, that at least explains why I've been wondering if I'm crazy.(_

He stopped and laughed. _(No, no, see, if you'd really been merged with me, you wouldn't be wondering. I know I'm nuts… and I like it. And there's another difference: I recognize true power when I see it)_

_)And what's that supposed to mean? You're not exactly a weakling when it comes to biotics, but-(_

_(Bah. Biotics are a mere side note.)_

_)Then what the hell kind of power are you talking about? _

_(You know as well as I do what the Reapers are capable of. Or more precisely, what they can and can't do.)_

_)…Huh?(_

_(No matter what decisions I made, or Hero made, or any other version of Commander Shepard, the Reapers never showed up before they were due. Wrex could only die in very specific places- same goes for Tali, Garrus, and pretty much every other squad mate. Otherwise an explosion could go off nearby and they'd be all healed up as soon as all the bad guys were dead.)_

_)What does that have to do with-(_

He laughed, lowering the shotgun without realizing it. _(I'm amazed you haven't figured it out yet. You already have used your powers without realizing it.)_

I thought back over the last couple days, but still was lost.

_(Why didn't you try stopping the beacon from going off?)_

_)Because I didn't know how that would change things.(_

_(Ah, but that's the thing. You couldn't change it at all to begin with. Just as you couldn't stop Shepard from becoming a Spectre; you could only get swept along for the ride.)_

_)What are you talking about?(_

_(I'm saying, you've got the same power here that you always had in the other world- the ability to limit what actually happened simply by existing. Think about it. Because you were a player of the game, the one controlling events, limits were placed upon what could be done by the very nature of the game.)_

_)… you're saying I'm a walking version of a plot?(_

_(Your being here has been warping reality into very specific paths, keeping things from deviating too much. Or maybe it's me. It could have actually been the various versions of Shepard that kept things in line, and since I merged with you, I gave you that power. I have your memories, and we both know you've already wondered about it. The more the two of you are kept together, the more things can be kept the same. If you just ran off on your own, using what you know, you could somehow change events and guarantee the Reapers' victory.(  
_

_)Just because it seems believeable, doesn't mean it's true. I've thought about it enough since I first ended up on the Normandy. You're nothing more than a bad dream, my subconscious trying to make sense of it all.(  
_

He laughed, both out loud and in my head. The result was almost unbearable. _(Oh, then tell me why the council actually made you a Spectre, solely on Raptor's recommendation. You can't believe there _wasn_'t something else pushing them to do it. Like I said, two instead of one.)  
_

_)That still doesn't prove anything.(_

_(Alright then, here's something else I'll bet you didn't know.)_

Instead of words, he sent me an image of Tali's face without the mask. Not the cop out photoshoped image, the real deal, because he'd seen it as she fell to her death. It was too realistic to be a product of a mind that had never seen it before.

_(Still skeptical?)_

_)Coming from you, yeah. Oh, by the way-(_

He saw in my mind what I was doing, a fraction of a second too late as his pistol flew from his hip into my hands as I also threw him back with plenty of force.

_)Pistols have a lot longer range than shotguns. Might want to keep that in mind next time.(_

This time he was the one that went on the defensive as I opened fire. His shotgun was useless at this range, and we both knew it.

Suddenly I felt something pressing into my gut as he appeared right in front of me, glowing blue. I pointed my pistol at his face, but he only grinned.

_(What about what happens with this distance?) _

I opened fire, but his shields and barrier deflected them.

_(Here, I think shotguns have the edge.)_

I winced as he fired, and expected to feel a lot of pain in my stomach, but instead I heard the sound of metal colliding with metal.

I wasn't sure why I wasn't dead, but I wasn't going to give him the chance to try again. I grabbed his shotgun, yanking it from his grasp, and kicked him in the chest, sending him staggering back.

As I did so, I saw the reason he'd failed: my armor was back. _)You know, I've had a lot of dreams that didn't make sense, but I think this one takes the cake.(_

I waved my hand, putting him in stasis as I stepped around behind him, shotgun now pointed at his back.

_(You will pay for this.)_

_)Somehow, I doubt that.(_

_(You know, you and I aren't really so different. Other than the question of sanity.)_

_)We might look similar, but that's it.(_

_(Oh? We both share the same style of fighting. We both are uncommonly powerful Biotics. And we're both willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done.)_

_)You do that because you're a soulless monster. I do what I have to in order to make sure the Reapers don't win.(_

_(Ah, but why don't you want the reapers to win? Admit it, you're not doing this for humanity, you're doing this to save your own selfish skin.) _Something in his tone changed. _(Isn't that why you didn't save Nihlus?)_

I tightened my grip on the shotgun as I heard my own thoughts repeated back to me. _)I couldn't risk messing with the time line.(_

_(Lie to yourself if you want, but you can't lie to me.) _

_)Maybe not. I can still shoot you in the head though, so I'd say that's good enough.(_

_(Maybe there's hope for you yet. Alright, how about this: I help you with stopping the reapers, and I get to be myself with some of the lesser-(_

_)I need you about as much as I need a spike embedded in my head.(_

_(So you agree with me then?)_

I surprised us both by laughing. _)You know something, I think I understand why my brain is showing me this.(_

As I said it, the crucible vanished, leaving us back in that black void. This time though, there were a hundred windows floating around, showing things that could come to pass. Morinth lay dead in one window, Samara in the same position on another window.

I saw Wrex leading the Krogan to victory, and I saw him die after being betrayed.

I saw Geth wiping out their creators, and I saw the Quarians wiping out their creations.

I saw the Rachni queen crawl to freedom, and I saw her die as Acid was released into her tank.

I saw the Collector Base being destroyed, and I saw it be preserved for Cerberus.

I saw the Council live, and I saw them die.

I saw all this and a million other choices.

_)All these choices I've been worrying about, it all boils down to this. I could accept 'your offer' and be the ruthless killer that gets results. Hell, maybe I would even get more powerful if I didn't care about consequences.(_

_(See, now you're talking sense.)_

_)But I won't. I don't need your help. Yeah, maybe I won't be as powerful. Yeah, maybe I won't reach my full potential, but I don't care. I'd rather choose my own path. So yeah, I'll accept your help. Thing is, I'm thinking of another version of you. And by the way, she can punch a hell of a lot harder than you can.(_

_(To quote a friend of mine, "Shit, you sound like a pus-(_

I cut him off. _)Maybe, but I can live with that. You, however-(_

I let down the stasis field, and fired even as he did his best to turn. The first blast knocked down his shields, and a second tore into his armor.

_)Can go right ahead and die!) _I dropped the gun and punched him with as much force as I could muster, backed up by my biotics. He was knocked through whatever barrier surrounded us and into the void of space.

_)And I just know I'm going to come up with a better one liner later.( _ I thought as the windows around me faded, leaving me floating once more in the pitch black reaches of space. Even the stars faded as I felt myself returning to consciousness.

* * *

Slowly, I opened my eyes. My vision blurred a moment before going back to normal, and I recognized my surroundings as the Normandy's medbay.

I similarly recognized the surprised faces of Shepard and Chakwas, who had stopped their conversation to look at me.

I forced a smile. "What'd I miss?"

* * *

**Yeah, not much to say here. Probably going to have a few complaints after this chapter, but oh well.  
**

**See you next week.**


	20. I Think It's an Improvement

"How's he doing?" Shepard asked Chakwas as she walked into the medbay.

"The transplant was a success, and the poison seems to have worked its way out by now." The doctor looked over at him. "It looks like he'll make a full recovery."

"You almost sound like you didn't expect him to."

"To be honest, I didn't. It would be lucky to survive an injury like that if a medical team was right there. Between the time that it took to get him onto the Normandy and the way he was brought aboard…to say he's lucky would be an understatement"

"Maybe, but I can't say I'm overly surprised." Shepard said with a shrug. "He's definitely a fighter."

"It's more than that commander. I found something interesting while I was scanning him. Several things actually, but as a whole it means he's had extensive genetic modifications."

It took Shepard a moment to process that. "What level of modification are we talking about here?"

"I'm not sure. You'd have to talk to him for the details."

"I plan to." Shepard said, wondering why he'd never mentioned it before. _Considering he's not exactly the most modest person, so it seems like something he would've brought up at some point. _

She filed it away for later. "So you think that's why he's still alive?"

"It can't have been a bad thing. He'll still probably be bedridden for another few days, and be out of active duty for about a week, but-"

A groan from the bed stopped her short, and both turned to look.

"How the devil… with the amount of sedatives I gave him he should be out another day at least."

Slowly, Bourne's eyes opened, moving somewhat drowsily at first, then focusing on Shepard and Chakwas.

"What'd I miss?" He asked, trying to sit up, and stopping when he realized he was restrained so he couldn't move and tear his stitches open. "Also, did I get arrested or something while I wasn't paying attention?"

Shepard smirked. "Well, while you were busy napping, I took Saren down and saved the galaxy."

"And I suppose you also cured the Genophage, got the Quarians and Geth to make peace, and finally found your long lost sense of humor? …Nah, what am I saying, that last one's totally impossible."

Her smirk faded.

"I'll just take that as a no."

She glared at him in answer.

He shifted slightly, though she couldn't tell whether it was from her glare." How long was I out?" He tugged slightly at the restraints. "And seriously, is this a hospital or do we need to set up a safe word?"

"20 hours or so." Chakwas said, moving past Shepard and scanning him with her Omni-tool. _Probably just as well. He's injured enough without me slugging him for that joke._

"Which is rather surprising, considering your injury."

He glanced down at his bare torso for the first time, and whistled softly. "That's going to leave a mark." He said, looking at his stitched up knife wound. It was about 3 inches long, and a sickly grey color due to whatever toxins had been on the knife.

"Yes, and it's also why I had to restrain you. Too much movement could tear either side open."

"Either?" His eyes shifted to his right side, and his eyes narrowed slightly. It wasn't much expression, but it was more than Shepard was used to seeing.

"Did the knife go all the way through or something?" He asked, looking at the stitches on that side. While it lacked the sickly color of the knife wound, it was much longer from end to end. "I mean, I know I didn't realize been stabbed until I was onboard, but…"

"No. It actually wasn't very long, and it didn't hit anything important." Chakwas used her Omnitool to project a few charts. "You had several broken ribs on that side- which seem to be healing faster than expected- and one of them punctured a lung, but it was a small hole."

"Still doesn't explain why you cut me open on the opposite side." He said, examining it as much as he could without moving.

"If you can avoid stretching yourself, I can free your left arm. You've got less chance of tearing that side open, but you still need to be careful."

He nodded, then glanced again at his right side as she undid the restraint, also adjusting the bed so he was slightly sitting up instead of lying prone.

"The knife was treated with a powerful toxin. Between its natural effects and trying to filter it, your liver was all but destroyed. I had to transplant a flash cloned liver."

He stopped, motionless. His pokerface slipped a moment before he put it back in place, and Shepard could see that he was taken completely by surprise.

He slowly turned his head to look at the doctor. "Uh, did I hear that right? You cloned me a new liver, and replaced the original?"

"More or less."

Shepard chuckled at his blank expression- it was somehow different, as if he wasn't trying to hide what he was thinking, but just couldn't figure out to react. "I think this is the first time I've seen you at a loss for words. It's kind of an improvement."

"Very funny." He turned to look back at the doctor. "So, how long am I going to be in here?"

"Frankly, you should have been unconscious for another several hours with the amount of sedatives I gave you." She said as she crossed her arms. "I would also have said it would be at least a week before you could be moved out, but you seem to be healing faster than expected."

"Well, you must've given me a lot of painkillers then, to give me a dream like the one I had."

She frowned. "It means I must have given you less than I thought. That particular medication is supposed to cause dreamless sleep." He shrugged, then winced slightly as a result.

"I'll get out of your way doctor." Shepard said, turning to the door, and deciding she'd wait until later to talk to him about keeping his gene mods a secret.

_It's looking as though it was a good thing, but he should have at least told the doctor, if not me. _

Shepard couldn't completely blame him though; lord she knew she kept plenty of secrets of her own.

* * *

I listened to what the doctor was saying without actually absorbing most of it. The parts I'd already heard- along with what little I was actually picking up- made it sound like a lot more had been changed than I had ever suspected.

I already knew about having my sight and hearing enhanced, and the fact I was in better shape than I'd ever come close to being before- not to mention the biotics. But combined with what Chakwas was saying-

"I would have preferred if you told me in advance that you had so many genetic modifications." She droned on.

_Yeah, those things. Apparently those are the reason. _

_Guess it would explain the glowing of.  
_

"I didn't think it was important at the time." I interrupted. _Seeing as I didn't know about it, I don't see how I could have. _"I was more worried about Shepard, seeing as she was all but comatose and I was getting checked over to make sure I wouldn't suddenly drop dead during combat."

She pursed her lips, but nodded after a moment. "Well, at least I think I know how to calculate the amount of medications you need now."

_Well, at least it sounds like I can't actually get drunk- well, not easily. That'll make it easier to avoid pissing Shepard off. At least on accident._

"I do want to run more tests on your biotic implants. They seem to be experimental, or at least heavily modified. They aren't L-2 or L-3, nor any other type I'm familiar with."

_That figures. Actually, it would make sense if I had ME2 or ME3 era implants. _

"Try to get some rest for now." Chakwas said, walking out of the medbay. "You can use the coms to contact me if you need something."

Though she was clearly trying to hide it, it was clear that she was exhausted. I might be able to function for that long without sleep, but she didn't have the benefits of having upgraded DNA.

I sighed and leaned back. _What I need is sleep, but that's the last thing I want to do, after that dream._

_If it was a dream. _I had to fight laughter at that. And it would probably have been maniacal if it had been allowed to pass.

If what Chakwas said was true, dreams should have been impossible. Even taking into account my apparently high tolerance for drugs or poisons, it still seemed unlikely that one could have taken place- especially not one as vivid and detailed as that.

_I know time can be funny in a dream, but she said I'd been out almost an entire day. Iron and I tangled for a while, but not nearly that long._

I slowly brought my hand to my forehead, hoping it would help me think. _And the really annoying thing is how much of what was said was true. If I am warping reality, it would make sense. And so would being fused with both Iron and Hero. _

_But what about hearing him in my mind? That felt pretty damn real. Hell, it all did. More than any dream I've had before, and some of them were pretty… lord that dream is awkward to remember now that I'm actually here. _

_And why is I can remember that but I had to steal a name from a bloody movie franchise?_

_Argh, not important. Was it a dream, or was it real, that's the real question that needs to be asked. _

_It seems impossible- but so does being sucked into a video game. I'd believe almost anything at this point._

_Well, Chakwas did have some good advice. I need rest, and I'm in no condition to figure it out right now._

I closed my eyes, hoping for less weird dreams.

* * *

I heard the door opening, and instantly my eyes snapped open, and I nearly flared my biotics. I couldn't actually though, not with the device I had on my wrist to negate them. Chakwas had said something about it while I was spaced out, but I didn't really understand exactly how it worked.

"Huh, you look like you were busy." I commented, looking at a fresh bruise on Shepard's arm.

"Admiral Hacket had something that needed to be taken care of."

_Huh, big surprise there._

"What's that?"

"Long story. I'll tell you later. Anyway, I figured since my locker's right next door anyway…"

She pulled up a chair and sat down. "We need to talk."

"What about?"

"Well, I'll start with the good news. Since the Mako was destroyed when the ruins collapsed into the volcano, we get to go make Udina give us a new one."

"I'm not sure I'd call that good news. Though I guess if he tried blaming it on me, he'd be right, which I guess is a little funny."

"Well, blame is pretty much the second point. Tali's blaming herself for what happened."

"Huh? Why would she-"

"She's convinced that if she hadn't activated that mining laser, you wouldn't have almost died."

"That's a load of crap. I'm the idiot that suggested using it in the first place. I mean, granted, you didn't do much to argue against it-"

"Thanks." She said dryly.

"You know what I mean. Either way she's not the one to blame."

"If you told her that, it might help. Once you're able."

I nodded. "Alright, so is there a number three?"

She gave me a cautious look. "Obviously I trust you by this point, but there's a lot you haven't told me."

I kept my face blank, though I got the feeling this wasn't going to be good.

"Why didn't you say anything about the fact that you were genetically modified?"

"Why does it matter?" I asked, hoping to buy some time while I could think of a better answer.

"You haven't said much of anything about yourself. You were a merc, now you're an ex-merc. That's pretty much it."

"You haven't said much about your past either- apart from nearly ripping my head off when you thought I was talking about Akuze."

Her face hardened, but she didn't relent. "All I'm saying is that… look, if we're working together, wouldn't it be nice to-"

"What do you want from me, a freaking autobiography?" I didn't have to work hard to fake exasperation. _Because honestly, I would love one at this point._

"I didn't say that. Honestly Bourne, from what I do know about you, I don't know that I need much more. But unfortunately, the rest of the galaxy won't see things the same way."

I allowed my eye brows to rise slightly. _Alright, I'll give her that. That's not something I'd considered. _

"Especially since you're a Spectre now. Odds are that the Council could already be digging into your background." She paused, waiting for a reply.

"Huh." _Someone's been putting points into the charm skill. _

"I get if you don't want to talk, but if you change your mind, you know where to find me."

She paused in the door way. "Oh, and by the way, the Council also wants you to make a report. So when you're out of here, you have that to look forward to."

"Can't wait." I said sarcastically.

I watched the door close behind her, and then leaned my head back so I was looking at the ceiling. _Damnit, what am I doing? These people trust me- hell, they _literally_ saved my life- and I've been lying to them from the moment I met them._

I closed my eyes. _And I'm going to have to keep lying, because the truth would only bring around disaster. Assuming I'd even be able to tell them about it without causing some sort of temporal paradox or something. _

I spent several minutes going back over my story, trying to look at it from someone else's point of view, see how they'd take it, if they'd believe it.

_It seemed so solid on Eden Prime, but now... Well, some parts are good enough, others I can leave vague. Trouble is, how much can I play up the injustice part?_

I was suddenly startled awake by an opening door, scarcely aware I'd even fallen asleep.

Hearing an intake of breath, I turned to the sound, relaxing when I saw it was Liara, stepping out of the back room.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were asleep."

I waved my free hand. "Don't worry about it. I was about to wake up anyway." I shifted slightly, trying to get more comfortable."How are you holding up? You weren't exactly at 100% when we found you, and that was before helping lift me onboard."

"I hadn't used my biotics that much in quite some time. I'm still a bit tired, but not enough to complain about."

I shrugged as well as I could with only one free shoulder.

"I have to admit, I was quite impressed by doctor Chakwas. I wasn't expecting her to know so much about Asari physiology."

"Considering that she's the only reason I'm in one piece, I'd say her being impressive is a good thing." I said, somewhat dryly.

"Oh, I didn't mean-"

"I understand what you were trying to say."

She nodded, relieved. "I don't have much experience dealing with your species. In fact, I think I may have already a made a mistake with one of your crew mates…the one that was with you when you rescued me?"

"Ashley?' I guessed, figuring that Wrex or Shepard were a lot harder to forget.

"Yes, that's her."

"What makes you think you offended her?"

"She was rather hostile before we got aboard the ship, and afterward she was even more so."

"Well, Ashley can be a bit…" I stopped myself short before I could cram my foot in my mouth. "She's not used to working with nonhumans." I glanced around the medbay, and my eyes fell on something new. "If you see her, can you tell her I want to talk to her?" _Because considering that 2/3s of the people who saved me were aliens, I might be able to turn her a bit sooner._

She nodded, and I turned my attention to the chair that had been moved new to my bed. It had a noticeable indent, as if someone had sat in it for a long time. _Shepard didn't sit there for that long, did she? No, and she can't weigh much, not with that little fat. _

I was back to thinking about my cover story, and about Iron, when the medbay doors slid open again.

"Dr. T'soni said you wanted to see me sir?" Ashley said, saluting.

"This is the part where I say at ease, right?" I chuckled.

She dropped her hand to the side. "Still haven't read that manuel, huh?"

"It's on my to do list." I gestured to the chair, and she sat down.

"How are you holding up?" She asked before I could speak.

"Well, I'm still breathing, so…" I again half shrugged.

"No thanks to Dr. Tsoni. If we hadn't had to-"

I cut her off with a very sharp look. "That's why I wanted to talk to you. Having concerns and voicing them is one thing, but-" I thought back to the mission. "'Saren's looking for the conduit, think fast Ms. Prothean Expert'? How exactly did that help anything?"

She looked at me as though I'd started speaking in another language. "You have quite a memory."

"Look, if you want to not like aliens on your own time, I can handle that. But it'd nice if you could do that without ticking off the people we're working with. Especially considering that I'd be dead if a couple of those aliens hadn't lifted me onto the ship."

She reluctantly nodded. "Permission to speak freely sir?"

This time I was the one who acted like I heard another language- mentally at least, though I kept my face the same. "Of course."

"You seem to take it almost personally."

I thought about that a moment. While I'd usually been pretty ticked off about that sort of thing in game- _hell, half my _renegades_ helped that one quarian who that volus was accusing of being a thief- _my feeling might have been a bit stronger now.

"I guess I know what it's like to be an outsider." I finally answered. _Considering I'm the only person here that isn't from a video game… well, at least partially. _

She didn't meet my eyes, but she nodded. "I can get that." Her eyes flicked back up at mine. "I never did thank you."

"For…?"

"You've saved my life twice now. Back on Eden Prime when I nearly ate a rocket, and down there when that Geth got the jump on me." She stopped. "And you also pushed me and the others onto the ship before the platform could collapse."

It took me a moment to reply. "Well, let's try to not let it get up to four times then." _Although, I did help Shepard pull her out of the beacon… I can't decide whether or not that counts._

She seemed to be trying to decide whether to glare or smile, but decided on the latter. "I can think of a few ways to pay you back."

"…such as?"

"Remember what we were talking about outside the consort's office?"

I took a second to think. "You were asking me about what my type was?"

"You never did give me an answer."

"… I narrowed it down to not psychotic, does that help?" It was lucky that I'd ended up with an almost perfectly composed face, because if I hadn't, I'm pretty sure that my panic would've been more apparent.

_She's not seriously making a move on me, is she? No, no way. I might not know a lot about women but even I know better than-_

I cut the thought short as she leaned over and kissed my cheek.

…_Usually I hate being wrong, but I can make an exception this time. _

"The whole time you were in here, I kept thinking I wouldn't have a chance to thank you. "

"… I think my short term memory is being affected by the drugs. What just happened?"

She stood up. "Shepard's authorizing some shore leave when we get to the citadel. If you're feeling up for it by the time we get there, maybe we can talk about it over a drink. I'll buy."

"… that's…a… good idea." I stammered.

She stood up. "I should get back to work. I'm glad we had the chance to talk though."

I barely kept myself from babbling like an idiot, only able to stare at her retreating back.

_What the hell just happened? Did she just- and I… did I just agree to a date with her?_

_I mean, it's not like it's a bad thing if it did happen but… I mean, I did consider it earlier but…_

I glanced over at the chair. The imprints looked like a perfect match.

I slumped back in bed. _ Well, it's against a ton of regs, but since I'm a Spectre… Lord, I actually am considering pursuing her, aren't I?_

_I think I've finally gone totally mad. Not just partially mad, completely._

_But if this is crazy, I think I can handle not being sane._

* * *

**And that'll do it for this chapter. See you next week.**


	21. Not What I Had In Mind

I stretched my arms, glad I finally was able to. Chakwas had kept me bound up for another couple days before judging I was healed enough to be let out- though the fact that Raptor and I had been rather insistent about it also had a lot to do with it.

But I wasn't supposed to do anything strenuous or use my biotics. I was surprised to realize how much I regretted the latter, considering how recently I'd gotten them.

I winced as I slid on a shirt- despite the bandages covering my stitches, it still tugged on them a bit.

_Still, _I thought as I walked out into the mess hall, _I'm probably not going to need my biotics unless I'm fighting. And if that happens, I'll have bigger problems to worry about then doctor's orders. _

I glanced down at my wrist. _And there's the fact that Shepard thought it was a good idea to leave this bloody thing on so I wasn't "tempted". I just know that it's revenge for… well there're plenty of things._

_I mean, why do we even have an anti-biotic restraint? Heh, antibiotic. I just know I can work that into a joke at some point._

"Glad to see you're up and about Bourne."

I was actually glad for the device at that point, since I was startled enough to put up a barrier. I relaxed a moment later though.

_Damnit, that's twice that Kaidan's done that to me. _ "Only because you guys hauled me on board."

"You'd have done the same for one of us."

"True. But if I did it, I wouldn't end up with a migraine."

He glanced at me.

"Chakwas mentioned it at some point when she was looking me over."

"L2s have their drawbacks, but it means I can do more than a lot of newer biotics. Though I doubt I'd be able to match you."

I shrugged. "Maybe not in terms of raw power, but I never had the same sort of formal training you did."

"Thanks. Still, I've seen you use a gun. You've got me beaten there."

"Well, I think Shepard has us both pretty far outclassed there- along with everyone else on the ship. Did you see her take out 3 Geth with 2 bullets back on Eden Prime?" I rubbed my shoulder. "And she definitely can punch harder."

"Not a lot of guys would admit that."

"You ever seen her when she's really pissed off? Because when I punched Wrex in the face, he was… well, maybe Shepard doesn't quite beat him, but she can match him at least."

"I'll be sure not to get on her bad side then."

"I seem to skirt the line of bad side and neutral side pretty regularly." I looked at his console. "So what exactly are you doing with this thing?"

"Oh, just filtering out some of the junk data that piles up from extranet use. Not really essential, but it keeps me busy enough. Not much else to do if we aren't on a mission."

I glanced around the mess hall. "Where is everyone anyway? Seems like it's just about time for lunch."

"They're probably gathering things for shore leave." He looked at the time on his Omni-tool. "Maybe I'll grab something here before I head out."

"Taking advantage of the free food instead of the jacked up prices?"

"Well there is that. And there's the fact that only a few places on the citadel carry high calorie meals for biotics. Well, most biotics at least."

I narrowed my eyes slightly, but otherwise put my face back into emotionless mode. "Is there a question in that statement?"

"Well, you haven't been taking the biotic rations, have you?"

I frowned. "Maybe that's why I couldn't finish a single meal in the medbay. I figured I just didn't have much of an appetite- and I'm assuming there's a reason you're now looking at me like I've suddenly grown another arm?"

"Permission to speak freely?"

"I really should just make that a standing order for the crew…With the possible exception of Joker." I added as an afterthought.

"You said you grew up on Omega, but… did you have anyone… to…" he trailed off.

"Alenko, let me put it this way. Even if you do somehow manage to offend me, I'm biotic-less at the moment. And I'm also supposed to avoid straining myself, so I think you're safe."

He crossed his arms and leaned back against his console. "I guess I'm wondering if your body adapted to having fewer calories. I mean if you didn't have enough to eat on Omega."

_Hmm. Interesting idea. I may have to steal it when I need to talk to Shepard._

"I guess I've just taken if for granted." I chuckled. "Being able to take out a girl without eating like a pig isn't exactly something to complain about… uh, no offense."

"None taken. Trust me, I've heard a lot worse."

My omni-tool suddenly let out a beep, signifying that I had a message. "Hang on, I better make sure Shepard doesn't need me for something."

I opened it, and I as I read it I was glad for such a good poker face. "I'd better get going."

He nodded and turned back to his terminal.

I headed for the elevator, and opened the message back up so I could reread it.

_Jason, _

_Heard Chakwas let you out of the medbay. Hope you're still up for drinks tonight- unless you've got a better idea. I can think of a few myself._

_-Ashley._

"Huh. That might be the first time someone's actually called me by my first name." I commented aloud.

I leaned against the wall, trying to think it over with a little clearer head.

_Well, I could definitely do worse than Ashley. Thing is, do I really want to get involved in something while I'm trying to save the universe?_

_Granted, 85% of my Shepards did it and were happy, but I'm not Shepard. Much as I look like a certain psychopathic version. _

_Well, worse thing that'll happen is it'll fail miserably and I'll end up in a deep depression that… huh, that worse thing was meant to be less pessimistic. _

I sighed.

_On a more important note: Shepard's going to want answers eventually, and I can't put her off forever. Hell, she probably knows more about Liara than about me, considering how often I saw her going in there to talk to her while I was in the sick bay._

_And I owe her something, even if it's mostly lies. She's been the closest thing I've got to a friend since arriving here. Maybe even just a friend, I don't know._

_But it'd be idiotic to tell her the truth. Just the thought of Akuze reduced her to… I don't even have words for that. If I told her she was just a fictional character, or that I'm the one who created her… she probably wouldn't believe me, but if she did she'd lose everything that makes her… her._

_Argh, and I thought it was annoying when I had to decide who to save…on.. virmire…_

I felt a shiver go down my spine, realizing why Alenko had managed to surprise me twice. I'd walked past his console hundreds of times. But 3/4s of the time, he hadn't been there. He'd been in a million pieces, dead.

I leaned my head against the wall, eyes closed.

I'd thought about it back on Eden Prime, but I'd been quickly distracted by bigger issues. And at the time, I'd only just met them; I hadn't had much personal stake.

But now… I didn't know exactly how I felt about Ashley, but I knew enough to know I wanted to at least give things a shot.

_But Kaidan…I'd be dead if he hadn't helped the others lift me onboard. Heck, I was just talking to him a minute ago and enjoying the rare moment of semi-normalcy. Now I'm thinking about killing him?_

I tried justifying it to myself a moment, thinking that he'd be dead whether I was there or not. But I knew deep down that if I withheld that information, his blood would be on my hands. Just like Nihlus's was, and that of many more would be.

_I don't have a choice. I have to keep it from them._

_(What makes you think they'd believe you anyway?)_

I jerked upright, flicking my wrist as though I had my knives on my arms.

_Was that… no, couldn't have been. Must've just dozed off or something._

I realized the elevator was slowing down, and I nearly walked right into Tali as the doors opened.

"Oh, hello Bourne." She said nervously. "I didn't realize you were in there. Though I guess I should have realized someone was, since it was coming down when I got here… keelah now I'm babbling like an idiot."

"Don't worry. I know a lot of idiots, but you aren't one of them."

"Thanks." She mumbled.

"Tali, Shepard said you're blaming yourself for bringing the cave down on our heads." I paused, surprising myself with my bluntness.

"Well…" she rubbed her hands, as though she was washing them without water, something she did when she was nervous. _And again I know something personal about someone I've barely talked to. Is there any way to do that without it being super creepy?_

I shook myself back to the present. "I just want you to know it wasn't your fault. It was my rock-headed idea, regardless of who pressed the buttons."

"Shepard said something similar. I'm not sure either of you convinced me." From what I could see through the mask, she looked almost depressed.

"Accidents happen. But I get the feeling that isn't all that's got you down."

"It's nothing, really."

I raised an eyebrow. I couldn't see her face, but her body language was similar enough to human to read.

"You been having trouble sleeping?" I *asked*. _Creepiness aside, it does come in handy to know so much about these guys._

"How did you-"

"I've heard that Flotilla ships tend to be pretty loud. By comparison, this bird would be whisper quiet."

She nodded reluctantly. "Normally silence would mean that something went wrong."

"Maybe you could download some sort of… ship sound simulator? I don't know, I'm sure you could find something like that on the citadel."

"Assuming anyone would sell to a Quarian." She commented.

"If they don't, give me a call and I'll see what I can do to change their minds."

I could see her surprise even through her helmet, but Ashley walked over before she could reply.

"Thanks for holding the elevator Tali. I wanted to finish modifying that gun before I headed up."

I frowned. "We aren't at the Citadel already, are we?"

"No. Shepard just called some sort of meeting for the ground crew, up in the com room."

"Huh. You'd think she'd have mentioned it to her XO." I muttered.

"She broadcast it over the intercom. Maybe you just couldn't hear it in the elevator."

I looked back at the accursed contraption and sighed. "Figures. I spend an eternity riding down here in this thing, now I've gotta spend another going back up."

Ashley chuckled. "Well, maybe having company will make it seem faster."

"Here's hoping." I said, reluctantly getting back in.

Her smile shrunk slightly.

… _Damnit, was she just flirting with me and I missed it? Meh, I'll just have to make it up to her later. When Tali isn't around._

I didn't let it show on my face- I'd have been surprised if I did- but I suddenly got a bad feeling about the meeting, that only increased as we got closer to the top.

Every instinct I had was screaming at me not to go in there, but I couldn't think of any reason not to.

It went from a barely noticeable hum to an annoying buzzing in my ear as I walked into the room, stopping at the door.

_Huh, so me being here adds another locker but not another chair? I mean, I don't really care, but... _I leaned against the wall. I realized a moment later I'd chosen a spot where I could see everyone, and yet be right by the door, if I needed to get out in a hurry.

_Chakwas said she took me off the meds, but maybe I've still got a few traces left or something. That must be why I'm all jittery._

"So, what'd you drag us here for?" Wrex asked Shepard.

She was standing at the far end of the room, where she too could see-and address- everyone.

"Well, since Bourne was out of action, and Liara was recovering, this is the first chance we've had to debrief."

_(Yeah, nothing like waiting 3 days and letting all the details fade.)_

I felt a chill go down my spine again, all that buzzing seeming to have sharpened into one stabbing pain in my temple.

"Bourne, you alright?"

I nodded, not sure whether or not I was lying. "Yeah, sorry, I was just thinking."

"Better mark it on the calendar then." Garrus said. "Must be a rare occurrence."

"Bet it's more common than you-"

Joker's voice on the com cut me off. "Hey, since you guys are all in there, now would be a good time to point out that when we're leaving orbit, you generally don't want to leave the door open. It tends to suck out all the air and make it impossible to breathe. Just for future reference."

I rolled my eyes, imagining the grin as he said that.

"We almost died out there and the Pilot is making jokes?" Liara asked incredulously.

"It's a coping mechanism." I replied. "Well, that and the fact that this is one of the rare times I'm not in a condition to hurt him for saying it."

"… I see. It must be a human thing."

I couldn't hold back a chuckle. She looked at me in confusion, but seemed to decide not to ask. "I'm afraid I don't have much experience dealing with your species Lt. Bourne. Though I am grateful to you for helping save my life. Although I wish you hadn't been injured doing it."

I shrugged. "I've had worse."

Shepard shook her head. "Somehow, I really doubt that."

"Lady, have you ever felt how hard you can punch?"

She rolled her eyes and turned back to Liara. "Do you have any idea why Saren was after you?"

Ashley looked for a moment like she was going to say something, but then she glanced at me and held her tongue.

"Do you know anything about something called the Conduit?" Kaidan asked.

I barely kept from flinching, thinking about Virmire again, and I briefly wondered if that was why I was so on edge.

_(Wow. You really are slow.)_

I tried to ignore that voice- because it clearly wasn't my own.

"Only that it was somehow connected to the prothean extinction. That is my real area of expertise. I have spent the last fifty years trying to figure out what happened to them."

The pressure in my head increased. _What the hell? What is going on?_

"Wait. Did you say fifty years?" Shepard asked.

"Yes. It seems a long while to you, but in an Asari's eyes, it is very little. I'm still considered a child by Asari standards."

"Not to be rude, but how old are you exactly?" There was a tone of something in her voice that I couldn't quite place. Not just surprise but… my head was hurting too much to try figuring it out. All I wanted to do was get out as soon as possible.

"I hate to admit it, but I am only a 106"

Ashley chuckled. "Damn, I hope I look that good when I'm that age."

"Yeah, I don't think I'd mind that at all if you were."

Kaidan's surprised look made me realize I'd said it out loud, although he didn't comment on it. Nobody else seemed to have heard me though.

"That may seem ancient to you humans, but considering how long Asari or Krogan can live…" Wrex let it trail off. "Well, like she said, to us she's hardly old enough to be moved out of the house.'

"Which is why my research has not gotten much attention." Liara explained. "Because of my youth, other Asari scholars tend to dismiss my theories on what happened to the protheans."

"I have my own ideas about what happened to them." Shepard commented.

"With all due respect commander, I have heard every theory out there-"

I cut her off, my tongue almost moving of its own accord. "You haven't heard this one. And it's not just a theory. The Protheans were wiped out by a race of sentient machines called the reapers, just like several civilizations before them." Liara turned to me in surprise- as did pretty much everyone else.

"What? How do you know that there were other civilizations before them? I have been researching for years and I have hardly found -" She stopped as she realized what I had said about _what_ wiped them out. "Wait, Reapers? I have never heard of…how do you know this? What evidence do you-?"

Shepard cleared her throat, getting Liara's attention. "There was a prothean beacon on Eden Prime. It was damaged, but it still had enough life in it to send a vision into both my head" She smirked. "And into Bourne's head, such as it is."

That got a few chuckles.

"I don't remember anything about past civilizations though. Maybe it got broken up so we got different pieces."

I felt a light bulb go off over my head- and not for good reasons.

_Oh shit- if she mind melds with me to get the evidence, she could see anything I've ever experienced- including memories of playing this game back in the real world!_

_(You know, real world is really such a relative concept.)_

This time there was no ignoring it. I had been hoping it wasn't what I thought it was, but this time there was no doubt.

_)Iron? But I threw you into space! How are you- come to think of it, how are you alive to begin with?(_

_(Do you ever listen? Eh, you've got the perfect memory, you can figure it out on your own. The more urgent question is: how do we keep her from rooting around in our head?)_

_)There is no "our head". Only mine. It just happens to have an uninvited leech.(_

_(For now maybe. At least I finally managed to break through and get you to acknowledge me. It's like you don't want to talk to me or something.)_

_)Gee, I wonder if the attempted murder had anything to do with that.(_

_(Does it really count if it was a dream?)_

_)If you're here, it clearly was more than a dream.(_

_)Oh come on, you're way too nice to hold that against someone.)_

_)And you're too stupid to recognize sarcasm. Now shut up. I can't listen to you at the same time as them.(_

_(You could just kill them. That'd solve the problem.)_

I chose not to respond to that comment, turning my attention back outward. Obviously, having a lunatic in my head was a problem, but this was a bit more urgent.

"Yes, of course, that makes sense. The beacons were designed to transmit information directly into a user's mind. Finding one that still works is extremely rare."

_(Unless you happen to be on Thessia.)_

"No wonder the Geth attacked Eden Prime."

Garrus nodded. "The risk was worth the gain."

"But wouldn't they have been designed for Prothean use only?" Tali asked.

"Yes, and they would have been programed in a way that corresponded with Prothean Physoilogy."

_(What, having an extra pair of eyes, or the mind reading thing?)_

"Whatever information the two of you received would have been unclear, or distorted."

I nodded. "That's pretty accurate, though a bit understated."

"I am… amazed that you were able to make sense of it at all." She turned to Shepard. "You must have a remarkably strong will."

"Or we're just stubborn." I commented.

_(I would have chosen stupid as an adjective, personally.)_

_)Funny, I don't recall asking you. Nor do I recall asking for it on anything else.(_

_(Maybe your perfect memory slipped.)_

_)Maybe you should go to hell- and scratch the maybe.(_

"Another mind might have been completely destroyed by the process."

_)Argh, as much as I'd like to keep insulting you, we need to think of a way to keep her out of my head.(_

_(For someone with perfect memory, you seem to be forgetting something: She won't merge on the first mission, only after we get the other half, the Cipher, or the coordinates to the Mu relay.)_

_)In the game, yeah. But that was immediately following the rescue. Here, it's been a few days because I got stabbed.(_

_(A pity it was in the side and not in the head.)_

_)Yeah, maybe a lobotomy would've gotten rid of you.(_

_(You're welcome to try it if you like. Not like you don't carry around a billion knives.)_

"This is interesting and all, but it isn't getting us any close to finding out what Saren's up to." Ashley put in.

"Neither is that sort of attitude. Right now, it's the only real lead we have." Shepard replied.

"I suppose my scientific curiosity got the better of me." Liara apologized. "Unfortunately, I lack any information that would help you."

_Meh, give it a few years. Then you'll have all the information in the galaxy._

_(Or give her about 20 seconds. If she suggests a mind meld, we don't have many options.)_

_)I'm aware of that. So shut up and let me think.(_

"I'm not sure why Saren wanted you out of the picture, but you'd probably be a lot safer onboard the Normandy." Shepard said.

"I can't think of any place safer should Saren come after me again. And my knowledge might be useful later on."

_)Or maybe it'll be right now.(_

_(What?)_

_)Just watch.(_

"Biotics ought to come in handy too, if my rescue was anything to go by." I added. "And maybe that knowledge can be put to use now."

_(I know this is a bit of a hypocritical question, but have you gone bonkers?)_

"Maybe you'd be able to-" I cut myself off, pretending to reconsider. "On second thought, never mind."

"What?" Liara and Shepard asked at once.

I set my face in a way that meant the discussion was over. _And if I know Raptor, that's just the way to get her to ask me about it._

"If you've got an idea, let's hear it." She said, in a tone that made it clear it wasn't a request.

_(Wait, are you trying to get her to meld with us?)_

_)Meld, yes, but not with us.(_

"Maybe she'd be able to figure out what the visions mean."

"How?" Shepard asked. "I wouldn't be able to describe it well enough to be of use, and I doubt you could either."

Liara's eyes widened as she figured out what I was getting at. "Of course. If I was to join minds with one of you, I might be able to help you understand the visions."

Ashley opened her mouth, clearly to object, but I cut her off.

"It's worth a shot at least."

Shepard thought it over a moment before nodding. "Alright, so who goes first?"

Kaidan spoke up before I could. "You're the one that was knocked out commander. It's possible that was because you got more information than Bourne."

_Hmm, that's actually a pretty clever excuse. I was just going to say I wasn't back to 100% yet._

_(Probably the reality warping coming in to save us from your pathetic attempts at lying.)_

_)The main way to detect a liar is facial cues, and I guarantee I don't do those.(_

_(What about body language?)_

_)Good enough to fool these guys at least.(_

_(Don't be sure of that. Garrus was C-sec, remember? He'd be used to signs like that. And Tali is going to be paying more attention to body language anyway.)_

_)Yeah, but why would they be looking in the first place? And there's also the fact that I'm not even the same species, so how good at it could they be?(_

"The Lieutenant makes a good point Commander."

It took me a half second to realize LIara was talking about Alenko, not me.

"Alright, let's see what this does." Shepard said as Liara stood up.

The asari walked over, standing in front of her. "Try to relax commander."

I had to admit, I was wierded out as Liara's eyes went almost completely black. "Embrace Eternity!"

_You know, I've never really understood the phrasing behind that. If the goal is to focus, you're basically saying that you should think about everything in existence._

_(Who knows, maybe it's a mistranslation and they really mean "let's bang.")_

_)… Note to self. Watch what I think with you in my head.(_

I turned back to the two, both standing completely motionless. After a couple of minutes, Liara's eyes snapped back to normal and she backed up a few steps.

"That was… intense."

_(Think it was good for Shepard too?)_

_)Remind me to use that line when I'm not on her bad side.(_

_(I won't hold my breath waiting for that to happen.)_

_)You're a bodiless voice; you don't have breath to hold.(_

_(Ever heard of a metaphor?)_

"Did you find anything?" Kaidan asked.

Liara shook her head. "No. Actually, the vision seems incomplete. Perhaps there is another half that would make it more clear. If Lt. Bourne has-" She staggered, and Shepard rushed to catch her.

"Are you ok?"

"I'll be alright Commander. It is simply that melding minds is exhausting. A mind as strong as yours is especially hard to join with. It instinctively resists the melding."

Shepard seemed to realize how close she was to the Asari, and stepped back a bit.

"It is only passing. As I was saying, perhaps-" She staggered again.

I shook my head. "I think we ought to wait. Neither of us is fully recovered. And I think it's fair to say I'm at least as stubborn as Shepard- if not more so- so my mind'll be even more draining. Not to mention the anti-biotics and antibiotic-"

Garrus cut me off. "Do we really time to wait?"

Shepard turned to face him. "I'm not going to risk it in their current conditions." She turned back to the Asari. "You should probably go rest."

"I suppose you are right. Are we done here then?"

"For now, yes. You're probably going to be staying in the office behind the medbay, right?"

She nodded.

"Good. That way I'll know where to find you if something comes up. The rest of you- dismissed. Wait, not you Bourne."

I stopped midstep and turned to face her. "Yeah?"

"Did you have a chance to finish your report for the council?"

"Finish? I haven't even started it yet."

"I figured as much. Joker, hold off on sending my report. It'll look better if we send them both at once."

"Roger that Commander."

I was the last one out. For all the other things I'd lied about, I was telling the truth about my injuries still keeping me down.

_(So, your plan was basically hoping that she'd be too tired to do it with you?)_

_)Well, I had to try something, and it's not like I had a lot of options.)_

_(I suppose it will suffice for now. You'll have to think of something else eventually though…)_

His voice seemed to fade away.

_)Please tell me you just died.( _

Silence was my only answer.

_Great. So not only do I have all this other crap going on, now I've got a maniac stuck in my head. I'd ask what the universe is going to throw at me next, but I've tempted fate enough as it is._

I opened the door and nearly walked into Shepard.

"Here, you're going to need this." She said, handing me a blank datapad.

I groaned. "Have I mentioned how much I hate paperwork?"

"Relax. It'll mostly be a supplement to mine. Just put down what you can remember."

_Well, if she wants that much, I hope I can type as fast on this thing as on a laptop._

"Alright, this should probably take me an hour. Maybe two."

_Assuming there's no more interruptions._

"If it's any motivation, the sooner you're done, the sooner you get shore leave."

I smiled. "Good. Ashley said something about going to a bar."

"I bet that would get Tali's mind away from blaming herself for dropping a mountain on us."

… _That is soooooo not what I had in mind._

"Let me know when you're done." She said, turning to leave.

_Sometimes I really hate this universe._

_(I'm sure it hates you too.)_

_)Go to hell.(_

* * *

**Yeah, for anyone saying I shouldn't have used Iron... I can't really comment on that without pissing off a lot of people so I'll just leave things there. All I'll say is that I get what some people have said, and I'll try toning down certain things. (Note that I did say try)  
**

**Until next time- well, I may end up releasing chapters every other week. I've managed to keep a few chapters ahead, but I'm also dealing with some other things right now, so it may slow down my writing.**

**Hopefully I'm just being paranoid, but if chapter 22 doesn't show up next week, that's why. I'll try to get some more chapters done so I can keep the weekly thing going, but like I said.**

**Anyway, Sayonara.**


	22. It means you can go straight to-

Shepard's foot tapped out a rhythm on the ground as she leaned against the wall.

_Where the hell is he? He said he would be here in-_

The doors to the com room slid open to reveal her XO, muttering something under his breath.

"Garrus isn't working on anything right now since we lost the Mako, right?" He asked.

Shepard looked at him in question. "Why?"

"Because if he's not busy, maybe he can take a look at that bloody elevator. I swear, if I ever meet the idiots that designed it, I'm going to-"

"Did you get your report done?" She interrupted.

He held up the data pad. Shepard walked over and took it from him, scanning it over.

"Hmm, yeah, that looks right… maybe exaggerated a bit there…really? You actually want to say that to the Council?"

"You're going to have to be a lot more specific."

She shook her head. "I'd point out why that's a bad idea, but I think we both know you'd just ignore me." She hit a few buttons on the datapad, sending it to the Normandy's computer. "Joker, send them both."

"Reports away Commander. You want me to also patch you through to the council?"

"No!" "Yes."

The two Spectres looked at each other, and for once distaste was clear on Bourne's face.

"Uh, sorry, I didn't catch that. Which was it?"

"Patch them through Joker." Shepard said, shooting Bourne a look that said not to object.

"Fine." He grumbled. "Bloody dictator."

Shepard clenched her fist, but the appearance of the Council spared Bourne some new bruises.

"We've just received your report Commander-" The asari began, but the turian cut her off.

"Several days after the mission itself, if the dates are accurate. If I'd wanted delayed reports-"

"Are you guys always this whiny, or is it just us?" Bourne commented. "Believe it or not, getting stabbed tends to make it hard to write a report. So does getting a liver transplant because the first one was destroyed by toxins."

"Remember who you're speaking to Lieutenant Bourne." The turian glowered.

Shepard was willing to bet that if Bourne didn't still have the suppressant on his wrist, he'd be glowing with a biotic cornea.

"I understand that Dr. Tsoni is now aboard the Normandy?" The asari said before the two could further aggravate each other.

The Salarian jumped in as well. "I hope you've taken the necessary safety precautions. The last thing we need is for you to be compromised by a traitor."

Bourne rolled his eyes. "So you trusted the guy who's working with the geth, yet distrust the person that the geth were trying to kill. Am I the only one who sees something wrong with that logic?"

"Not quite how I would have put it," Shepard broke in, shooting him a disapproving look, "but he has a point. The geth were definitely trying to kill her; the Krogan in charge said as much."

Bourne didn't say anything, and his face was unreadable, but she knew he'd caught the lie. He'd actually said Saren wanted her, but what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

"Benezia would never allow Saren to kill her daughter." The asari asserted.

"It's quite possible it was an elaborate ruse." The Turian said. "One you fell for perfectly."

"Then why am I still here? I doubt you had a chance to read very far into the report, so I'll go ahead and spoil the ending. The platform we were on collapsed, and I nearly fell several stories to the ground."

"What does that have to do with-"

"The other biotics onboard caught him, and hauled him onto the ship. Probably-" She turned to her CO. "What do you think Bourne, 30 feet?"

"At least. And it was close too- even with 3 of them, plus my own powers. She could have put in slightly less effort and I would've been a smear on the ground, while looking like she'd tried to save me." He paused. "Also, she could've just been waiting for us to find her and then ambushed us. She was stuck in a prothen security device and unable to move."

The salarian seemed to think a moment. "That is a rather compelling argument."

"Maybe, but it's not proof." The Turian said, seeming to be especially looking at Bourne as he said it.

"You said something similar about Saren working with the Geth." Bourne said, earning a glare from both Shepard and the Councilor.

"Well, if she was working with Saren, wouldn't I have seen that when she and I joined minds?" Shepard put in.

"You melded minds with her?" The Asari said incredulously.

"… In hindsight, maybe I should've added that to my report."

"I thought about adding it, but I figured these morons wouldn't read it anyway… no offense." Bourne's tone said he meant just the opposite.

"Since she's an expert on the protheans, we figured that she might be able to help sort out the vision from the beacon."

The asari hesitated. "It's difficult to hide something from your partner during a mind meld, but it's not impossible."

That seemed to pique Bourne's interest. "I thought that it was."

"It's possible during a mind meld. You may be confusing it with a true joining, where nothing can be hidden. It's rather common for non-Asari to misunderstand." She sounded almost clinical, and Shepard got the feeling she'd had to explain it before.

Bourne seemed to be trying very hard not to look at Shepard. "I've only known a few Asari well, and that wasn't exactly what we talked about."

Her cheeks colored slightly. _Did he really think that Liara and I- that we… _

The salarian interrupted her. "Well, if she is a traitor, it may be better to have her in plain sight. At least that much was a successful."

"I would hardly call the destruction of a major prothean ruin a success." The turian argued. "Was that really necessary?"

The holograms abruptly vanished.

"Maybe not. But that was." Bourne said, hand on the cutoff switch.

"Bourne, as much as I'd love to tell them what I really think of them, it's better to not make them our enemies." Shepard said, glaring daggers at them.

"I know, I know. But honestly it was that or try punching their holograms."

"Well, get a hold of yourself. Joker, can you reestablish connection?"

The holograms flickered back to life, answering the question.

The asari had her arms crossed, and she glared at Bourne. "I do not appreciate being cut off like that Lieutenant."

He just smiled in response.

The Turian glared at him even more than he had before. "I'll allow that to slide once. But only this once." He turned to Shepard. "Where do you plan to go next?"

"For now, the citadel. Our ground vehicle was destroyed, and according to Udina it'll take a week to get a replacement. In the meantime, our crew needs some shore leave."

"You plan on taking a vacation while Saren is still loose?" The turian demanded.

Shepard forced herself to keep her tone even. "Even if Bourne and I are Spectres, this is still an Alliance ship, and an alliance crew. They haven't had a break in a while."

"And trust me, I'm in no mood to deal with a mutiny right now." Bourne said darkly.

"Very well. We will be waiting for your next report."

"Oh, wait, there is one more thing."

"What's that?"

"Goodbye." He smirked, hitting the cutoff switch.

* * *

_)Man, the look on their faces when they realized I was cutting them off again- priceless.(_

_(Didn't you say that you weren't like me?)_

_)There's a difference between thinking the council is a group of idiots and killing them.(_

_(Yeah. That second one is a lot more fun.)_

_)I…god, I hate that I sort of agree with you.(_

_(Must be because I'm far more intelligent than you.)_

_)Totally- wait, you said __un__intelligent, right?(_

_(Idiot. At least we figured out one important thing. If we can hide info from Liara when she joins minds with us-)_

_)With me. There's no us.(_

_(I'll ignore that for now. Regardless, it should be possible to avoid discovery.)_

_)Right. Though there's another thing we disagree on Bronze.(_

_(Bronze? Seriously? Why is it I had to be stuck with you instead of just dying?)_

_)Believe me, I'm not thrilled about this arrangement either.(_

_(Alright, what do you want to do the stupid paragon option for this time?)_

_)Actually, it's more of a… renegade option. Liara's too important to the time line for us to risk her finding out something she shouldn't.(_

_(Look, we're going to have to do it sooner or later.)_

_)Not if Shiala burns it out of my brain, forcing me to kill her.(_

_(…Huh. I guess you're not as stupid as you look.)_

_)You know that you and I are pretty much identical, right?(_

_(You know what I mean. I hate to admit it, but that's a good idea. Liara finds out something, it's bad. I Shiala finds anything- like you said, no big deal.) _He paused. _(You're more like me than I thought.)_

At that, I blocked him out. I'd been surprised- and annoyed- to hear from him again. I'd been hoping he could only communicate with me during specific events. Clearly that wasn't the case.

"Bourne… I swear they are going to put a bounty on your head." Shepard said with a shake of the head.

"You thought it was funny too, admit it."

Her lips twitched upwards, but she didn't actually let herself smile.

"Come on, I could've done a lot worse."

"Like putting them in stasis?"

"I was thinking flipping them off… wait, would aliens even understand that? I mean, the Asari are the only other race with enough fingers to do it. "

She chuckled in spite of herself.

I turned my head upwards, at the ceiling. "Joker, how long till we reach the Citadel?"

"About an hour, give or take."

I turned back to Shepard. "Chakwas said no straining myself, but would shooting on the range count?"

"I wouldn't risk it. The kickback from anything other than a pistol would probably be too much for you."

"Dammit."

"… You weren't going to go shoot at holograms at the council, were you?"

"Of course not!... just the Turian."

She looked at me with a disapproving look. "Bourne- do you have a problem with Turians?"

I allowed my pokerface to slip for a look of disbelief. "Of course not! Why would you even ask?"

"Well, you seemed pretty quick to jump on the idea that it was Saren that attacked Eden Prime."

"That has nothing to do with-"

"And you were pretty harsh with General Oraka back at Chora's den. And you and Garrus don't seem to get along well either."

I stopped, going over what I remembered from such encounters.

_(You know, I can actually see why she'd ask.)_

_)Yeah, when it's added up like that… coincidence can be a real pain in the ass.(_

I crossed my arms. "In hindsight, I can see how you might think that. The short answer is no."

"Then what's the long answer?"

"Well…"

_(Let me guess. The long answer is you making crap up on the spot.)_

_)Not exactly. I did come up with a sort of backstory for myself to explain the merc thing. Just not to address me not being a racist.(_

_(So you have to make it up on the spot.)_

_)… well, not all of it.(_

I sighed, not knowing whether or not it was completely genuine. "Shepard… you had a point before, when you said you didn't know much about my past."

I sat down in a nearby chair. "Well, I'll start with what's already known. I grew up as part of a merc gang on Omega."

She sat down across from me. "A prohuman group?"

"Hardly. Actually, I was one of only two humans there. The rest were Turians, Asari, Batarians, a couple of Krogan, a former STG operative- There was even a Quarian that'd never returned from his pilgrimage because he preferred the mercenary life style." I shrugged. "Never really understood what went through his head on that one."

_(Well, you could be doing worse.) _Iron grudgingly admitted.

_)I've been thinking about this pretty much ever since I got hit by the beacon. I had plenty of contingencies and different versions to cover my bases.(_

_(Don't get them confused then.)_

_)I've got a perfect memory, remember? Now get lost, or I will screw something up. And if I go down, so do you.(_

_(Don't pretend you know everything about this relationship. But under these circumstances, you're right.)_

I felt him retreating to the far recesses of my mind.

"So you grew up around Aliens?"

"To put it mildly. There were humans on Omega, but not a whole lot. It was mostly other species. More showed up over time, but as when I was a kid there couldn't have been more than 500, maybe 1000 on the entire station. And the total population was over 7 million. "

"How long ago was this exactly?"

"I don't know. I didn't exactly have access to a lot of calendars. They… recruited me when I was old enough for my biotics to manifest themselves. It's what got the Omegas interested in me in the first place."

"The Omegas?"

"That's what they called themselves. Not terribly original, I know. " I gestured to where the symbol would be on my armor. "I haven't got around to taking off their logo."

I continued. "I know I started showing signs earlier than most humans. Back then we- humans that is- didn't know much of what we were doing, but to everyone else Biotics were old news."

"Where were your parents during all this?"

I shook my head. "Your guess is as good as mine."

She looked away, and seemed to be weighing something. "So, you got your combat training from them?"

"Most of it. Some things I figured out on my own. " I said cautiously. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I got the feeling there was something she doubted about my story. "Anyway, as far as my flaws go, xenophobia isn't among them."

She stood up. "Sorry, but I had to know."

I nodded.

She was in the doorway when I spoke up. "You know, I seem to recall you asking about my eyesight, but I never did about yours."

She stopped.

"I figure you ask a question about me, I get one about you."

"They're cybernetic implants." She said tersely, closing the door behind her.

…_Ok, that was weird._

_(She's a woman, what did you expect?)_

* * *

_You know, I knew that the elevators were slow in the future, but I didn't think that downloads were too. _I thought, glaring at my Omni-tool.

I figured since I some time to kill, I'd grab lunch and download some music, like I'd planned earlier.

But apparently fate decided it still had a grudge against me.

_(Do you even know the extranet works? You're getting signals all the way on the other end of the galaxy. Of course it takes a while.)_

_)I know that! But they almost portrayed it as just a future internet in the games.(_

_(You're seriously complaining about download speed for music? Geez, at least when I complained about something, it was important.)_

_)Like what?(_

_(You know, my gun couldn't kill enough people in 5 seconds, the food was always cold, none of the women ever walked around naked, stuff like that.)_

_)…(_

_(__Well, no, I take that back. Jack practically did, and have you seen Miranda's outfit? Well, you actually haven't in person, but you know what I mean.)_

With some effort, I managed to force him back and ignore him, turning my attention back to my Omni-tool.

_I wonder if there's tetris or something for this thing?_

The future equivalent of an app store proved to be quite the diversion. So much so I didn't realize Garrus was behind me until he said my name.

If I'd been wearing my armor, a knife would've flown into my hand. As it was I had to make myself relax before moving so I could talk to him.

"What's up?" I asked, considering why he might be talking to me. _Probably asking to tag along on the Citadel when we go. Unless he wants to go take down that crazy doctor, but it seems a bit early for that._

"Do you know that Tali is blaming herself for you getting hurt?"

I sighed. "Yeah. I tried telling her it wasn't her fault, but I'm pretty sure it didn't work."

"That's what Shepard said. Which is surprising; that sort of thing seems right up her alley."

I nodded. "Well, have you tried convincing her yourself? Or anyone that wasn't there? She might be willing to listen to a non-biased source."

"Let me put it this way- I thought it was hard to cut through C-sec red tape. Quarian guilt is even worse. Probably comes from them having to be so social."

"If anything, she should be blaming Shepard. She's the one that let me tell Tali to do it. And she's the one who let Tali open the gate on me like a total-" I couldn't read Turian expression well, but he seemed to be amused. "-She's standing right behind me, isn't she?"

"Yes, but please, continue. What were you going to say?" Based on her tone, that was the dumbest possible thing I could actually do.

"Um, a total… total… yeah I can't save that, just hit me and get it over with."

"I'll wait until you recover to take you up on that."

"Gee, what a great friend." I said sarcastically.

"That said, you did have one good idea about Tali."

"What's that?" Garrus asked.

"Taking the team out to Flux. Might get her mind off of it."

… _that isn't what I said at all! I said Ashley wanted to get drinks! With me!_

"We should probably wait until after we talk to Udina though."

"Why's that?" I asked, irritated.

"You put him in stasis when you were sober. I don't want to see what you do to him when you're drunk."

"I would never-" She stopped me with a single look. "Alright, fine. We can go talk to the damn politician first. But then I plan on drinking a lot of alcohol."

"As long as Chakwas clears you and you don't do anything dumber than usual. "

I didn't dignify that with a response.

* * *

I rubbed my wrist as I got into the elevator, the anti-biotic restraint having been removed.

_Geez that thing chaffed. I mean, I know it's meant for prisoners, but still. _

I slipped on my glove, Chakwas also having cleared me to wear armor. I didn't understand the science behind it, but something about way it was constructed made it so I couldn't tear myself open. And if I did, the suit's medical sensors would tell me and let me apply medigel.

Though I was still supposed to avoid biotic usage. Which would apparently be beyond my control, since the chemicals would stick around for a bit- a precaution against unauthorized removal. Chakwas had claimed it was accidental, and she'd meant to do it the way that meant the chemical dissipated, but I had my doubts.

_I'd bet anything Shepard told her to-_

_(Can you not call her that?)_

_)What do you mean?(_

_(You keep calling her Shepard. It's weird, because, well, that's my name.)_

_)And __why__ do you think I give a damn about you?(_

_(I'm just saying, would it be that weird if you called her by her first name?)_

_)Two things: One, nobody calls her by her first name. And two, her first name is a type of goddamn dinosaur!(_

_(As I recall, you're the idiot that named her such. And you named me after a type of metal, and a dozen other versions whose names that made no sense.)_

The elevator doors slid open, cutting him off. Ashley was standing outside.

She took in my weapons and armor at a glance. "Where are you going?"

"Shepard and I need to talk to Udina about replacing the Mako. And then probably run a couple other errands."

"And after that? Any plans?"

That time I caught her tone, and what she was trying to say. _Ok, how do I tell her that I managed to turn just us into the entire squad?_

I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly. "Well, Shepard wants the crew to have some sort of get together at Flux. Tali's blaming herself for dropping the mountain on us, and this is the boss's bright way of cheering her up."

"Think we could sneak away?"

"Maybe. If I can get Shepard to loosen up a bit- well, wouldn't be the first time she had to be carried onboard the Normandy."

I happened to notice something behind her, and focused my gaze there. _Kaidan's not at his usual spot. Crap, is Shepard bringing him with us?_

_(What, you want to tell her to leave him behind? Good luck with that.)_

_)Yeah, how would that conversation go? "Oh, uh Shepard, can we not bring Kaidan along? I don't want to get to know him, because I plan on letting him die, even though he recently saved my life."(_

_(I don't see the problem.)_

_)That's because you're a lunatic.(_

_(Don't insult me! I'm a psychopath, not a lunatic. There's a difference!)_

"Something wrong Jason?"

I pushed Iron back. "Sorry, I was just thinking. " I shook my head. "I'd better get going before Shepard wonders where I am."

"You know, I heard that the shore leave will last at least a week. The Commander can't take up all your time."

I smiled. "What's the matter, jealous?"

"Don't get any funny ideas." She said, walking past me into the elevator.

_(Meh, Miranda was hotter.)_

_)I never even played through the second game with you, so how do you-(_

_(Do you deny it?)_

_)Oh shut up.(_

_(That wasn't a no.)_

I refused to respond to anything else he said as I walked up the stairs, so he seemed to get bored and leave.

As I'd feared, Kaidan was waiting with Shepard at the clamps. "Ready to head out Bourne?"

"If I say no, can I stay and not have to deal with the politicians?"

"Sure. I can have Chakwas keep you for observation. Of course that'd also mean you wouldn't be able to come with us to-"

"Alright, alright, I get it. Bloody extortionist."

She smiled slightly, then turned to face the wall. "How's that armor feel Liara? I tried to have the quartermaster pick a light but strong set."

I realized that the asari was indeed there, the armor blending into the wall.

"It's strange, but I suppose I'll get used to it. Honestly, the helmet is the most uncomfortable part. It feels rather claustrophobic."

Shepard nodded in agreement. "That's why I tend to not wear one unless I have to. It also makes it harder to be aware of what's going on around me."

"Yeah, have to agree on that one." I said.

"With all due respect, doesn't it also leave you a bit more vulnerable?" Kaidan put in.

"I tend to think the benefit outweighs the risk." She answered.

Liara hesitated before taking it off, collapsing it and storing it on her back. As she did so, I noticed she also had the full set of weapons.

"Liara, you don't have any sort of combat training, do you?" I asked.

"I've used a pistol before, and I have-"

"No, I mean, it looks like you're carrying 3 weapons you can't use."

"I'll work with her using them later." Shepard said. "Come on, Udina's waiting for us."

"Yes, and god forbid we keep him waiting." I muttered as the airlock cycled us through.

"Logged, the Commanding Officer is ashore. The Commanding Officer is ashore. XO pressley has the deck."

I stopped short when I heard that, as did Kaidan. "Wait, I thought Bourne was the XO."

"In practice maybe. But since he and I really share command, I had a couple of the engineers hack the computer to put us both as CO."

_(You realize that she probably did that so she can blame you if anything goes really south.)_

_)Just because you'd do it, doesn't mean she would.(_

_(Why not? We are the same person after all.)_

_)Minus the dementia and several other things.(_

_(Like those 'things' of Ashley's you keep thinking about every time you talk to her?)_

I went to push him away, but he'd already withdrawn himself.

"Ten hut!" Alenko surprised me by stopping and saluting, with me nearly walking right into him.

The guy standing on dock returned it. "Rear Admiral Malkovich, Fifth Fleet."

Shepard snapped her own salute. "I wasn't informed you'd be here Admiral. We'd have prepared a formal reception if we'd known."

"We?" I asked pointedly, crossing my arms. _You might've, but as for myself…_

Shepard noticed the way the admiral was looking at me, and turned to see how I was standing. She made no effort to hide the fact there'd be hell to pay later.

"I suppose we're skipping the formalities." The admiral said, dropping his hand to his side. "I command the 63 scout flotilla, where you and the Normandy would have been headed after shakedown."

"How'd that work out?" I asked rhetorically.

"I think we both know. The council got her claws, paws, tentacles on the ship, and on her. Then, they decided to put a-"

"If you say mercenary instead of ex-mercenary, I can't be held responsible for what I'm going to do to you."

"A lieutenant who didn't even earn the rank onboard as XO."

…_That's somehow more insulting._

"They put a Spectre onboard Admiral. On my recommendation." Shepard said, sounding more annoyed than I'd heard her in a while. "We're still part of the Alliance, but as Spectres we can advance humanities interests to the council."

_(And that right there is why I never went with the paragon option. Because it would have made me sound like a complete wimp. Well, you know, that and the fact that I wouldn't get to shoot as many people.)_

"Do you still know what color your blood is commander?" He asked rudely.

"I believe I know what ours is like." I put a hand on my belt knife "Would you like me to check yours?"

"I don't begrudge Udina's choice to throw to the council Commander." He said, ignoring me. "I do begrudge this over designed piece of tin though."

"Hey! Nobody gets insult my ship but me!"

Shepard looked at me in irritation, which burned into rage when she noticed my hand on my knife.

"Don't be an idiot Bourne. This ship is nothing more than a gimmick, useless in any real fight. And we could have built a heavy cruiser with the amount it cost to build, but no, we had to make nice with the Turians."

If I'd been able, I would have flared my biotics. "Funny. You seemed awfully bitter about not having it a moment ago. What, if you can't have it, it's a waste?"

He seemed to be trying to come up with a response.

"If you don't mind, we have a meeting to get to. So either get lost and quit whining, or tell us what you're here for."

"Watch it Lt. Bourne. I don't care if you're a Spectre, you're a part of the alliance military, which means you better start showing me the proper respect."

"It means I'm a goddamn Spectre, which means you can go straight to-"

"What my partner is trying to say," Shepard cut me off, shooting me a look that got me to back up a few feet, "Is that we're in a hurry. Is there a reason you're here?"

"Regardless of what he seems to think, Normandy is still an Alliance ship. I intend to see that she's still up to snuff. "

"I'm sure you'll find everything to be in order Admiral." She said, clearly making too much of an effort to be pleasant.

_Maybe if I'm quick, I can sneak away before she realizes I'm gone._

_(Oh just be a man and take it.)_

_)Easy for you to say.(_

"Wait here. I won't be long." He said, moving past us into the ship.

As soon as the airlock closed behind him, Shepard wheeled around to face me.

"So, should I start-" my question was cut short as Shepard slapped me hard enough to make me see stars.

"Are you insane Bourne? He's an admiral! He has the authority to put us in lockdown if you pull anything else like that!"

_(OW! Nobody told me I'd feel it if you got hit!)_

_)Now do you see why I wanted to run?(_

_(… How the hell does she hit that hard? I couldn't hit that hard _with_ cybernetic implants, let alone without them!)_

I managed to stand up straight again. "What's the point of being a Spectre if-"

"The point was so that if you had to disobey my orders like you did with Fist, they wouldn't be able to do anything to a Spectre. But if you're just going to abuse it-" she let the threat hang in the air, walking off in a huff.

It was an uncomfortable ten minutes, mostly of her pacing and shooting me dirty looks, with me trying to rub my sore cheek when she wasn't looking.

Finally, the admiral walked back out. "I'm not happy Commander." He said without preamble.

"I'm sorry to hear that sir." Shepard said without missing a beat.

_That makes one of us then._

"What engineer designed that CIC? Having the commander that far back is inefficient; what if you need to communicate with the crew members towards the bow, or the pilot?"

I had to give Shepard credit, she didn't bat an eye. "It's a Turian design sir. They prefer to have their commanders keeping an eye over the shoulder of their subordinates, rather than standing in the midst of them. The Alliance wanted to see how well the setup worked."

"Hmph. Reasonable goal, but that should have been tested in a lab, not a frontline warship."

"Also, there are these amazing new inventions that allow you communicate with people that are far away. They're called radios."

I knew I was going to pay for that later, but the look on his face was worth it.

"Well, then, if you know so much about technology, what about that ridiculously oversized drive core? How much it cost for it to be able to move without giving itself away? Justify that!"

"Ever heard of a sneak attack? Because if that thing can get the drop on an enemy, the battle can be over in a few seconds. Not to mention getting past enemy patrols, eavesdropping on enemy channels, landing on a planet undetected- need I continue?"

He looked convinced despite his best efforts to not be. "Be that as it may, that isn't the job of a proper warship."

He turned back to Shepard. "I'd also like to discuss your crew commander."

"Like it or not Admiral, I'm here to stay."

"I wasn't talking about you Bourne. I was referring to the Aliens you've allowed to join your crew. I mean, Krogan? Turian? Quarian for god's-" I cut him off as I moved right into his face, a hidden knife in each hand.

"There are exactly 4 kinds of people I can't stand." I said quietly, in a harsh voice. "Politicians, Reporters, Authority figures, and Racists. You happen to be occupying two of those slots right now."

He was slightly taller than me, but I managed to stare him down and make him back up.

"If it weren't for those Aliens, then there's no doubt that Shepard and I would not be alive right now. If you're too stupid to not take allies where you can find them… considering what we're up against, we need other races on our side."

"I've yet to see proof that they are on our side. And your recommendation doesn't help them much. I actually prefer having them onboard to having you aboard."

_(Does this guy have a death wish? Because if so, I'd be more than happy to complete it for him.)_

_)For once, we're in total agreement.(_

"Would you like to run that by me again Admiral?" Shepard asked, now firmly pissed off.

"At least with the aliens we would know where they'd go if they stole information. With this lowlife scum-"

I triggered the blades for the knives, but Shepard stepped between us before I could do anything with them. I wasn't sure she'd even noticed.

"That's enough Admiral. It wasn't your decision then, it's not your decision now either. If it wasn't for Bourne, I'd be dead, and Saren would still be considered a hero instead of the traitor he really is."

_(Damn, maybe I _can_ believe she's another version of me.)_

I stored my knives, content to watch her lay into him.

"Even if he has been proven trustworthy, he has no experience with-"

"There was a time I didn't either." She said darkly. "If you have a problem with him, you've got a problem with me. Is there anything else, or are you just wasting our time?"

I was left speechless, as was he. Kaidan was just as surprised, his jaw all but on the floor.

She stepped back, and after clearing his throat a few times, he managed to speak up. "I will be submitting a report on my findings…although it will not be as negative as I had planned."

He looked directly at me. "I still have my doubts about you Bourne, but you aren't quite what I expected."

_(You aren't quite reacting how I'd expected either.)_

_)What do you mean?(_

_(He's still alive. I thought there was hope for you when you got the knives out, but then you just had to go and let her show you up.)_

"Who knows? Maybe Shepard did make the right call." He saluted her, and she returned it. Personally, I was just trying to keep from tossing a knife his way, so I kept my hands at my side. "Good Hunting Commander."

She turned to me, and I had to work to keep from flinching. "For the record Bourne, I agree with every word you said. But if you don't start keeping it under wraps, I won't be as easy on you as I was a minute ago."

_(Wait, is she saying she can hit harder than she did?)_

_)God I hope not.(_

"Come on. We have a meeting to get to."

I stared at her a moment. _First she slaps me, then she defends me, then she threatens me, now she's just continuing on like normal?_

_(Women. Only thing crazier than me.)_

"You know, if you keep staring at me like that, won't Ashley get jealous?" She teased.

I started, as did Kaidan. He looked between us in surprise, but seemed to bite his tongue.

_I hope we can finish up with Udina early. I'm in no mood to deal with any more stupidity today._

_(Hmm, something occurred to me. You always meet him on the first trip back, which this is. Don't you also meet the reporter next?)_

_)…FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUCK!(_

* * *

**That'll do it for this week. And probably next week. Unless I can pick up the pace and get another chunk done- which seems unlikely- I'm probably going to have to switch to bi-weekly. **_  
_

**I'm hoping I won't have to, but it's looking pretty likely at this point. **


	23. Isn't that what happens on TV?

_Please let him be wrong, please let him be wrong- _I cut myself off as the elevator doors opened, revealing a woman standing with a camera, apparently waiting for us. _Son of bitch, why does the universe hate me?_

_(Told you.) _

_)Oh shut up. Smug prick.(_

" Khalisah bint Sinan Al-Jilani, Westerlund News."

_Is it just me, or does her name always sound like "police have been seen in Al- Jilani?"_

_(Meh, maybe a little bit, now that you mention it.)_

"Are you willing to answer a few questions for our viewers Commander Shepard?"

"Depends on the questions." She said evenly.

"People have heard a lot of wild stories about you." Her gaze flicked to me. "And this must be your fellow Spectre, Lt. Jason Bourne."

"No, I'm his twin brother, David. Thrilled to meet you."

She didn't even blink at my sarcasm. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to agree with an interview?"

I glanced at Shepard. _Please say no, please say no-_

"So long as you understand we might not be able to answer all of your questions."

_Aarrgh!_

_(She's a paragon, remember? Of course she didn't say no.)_

_)Well, I've already had enough of her "disingenuous assertions," and she's barely even started talking to us!(_

_(… are you actually going to say that?)_

_)No... maybe…probably.(_

"I'm sure our viewers _will _understand." She said it more like *understand*.

She hit a few buttons on her Omni-tool, apparently to turn on the camera drone.

"This is Khalisah bint Sinan Al-Jilani, Westerlund News. I'm here with the famous Commander Raptor Shepard, the first spectre, and Lt. Jason Bourne, her unexpected second in command."

_You know, when they call me a mercenary, that's at least accurate- as far as they know anyway. But the Lt. Bourne thing is starting to become irritating._

_(Better than Private Bourne.)_

_)Maybe, but it just sounds weird to me.(_

She spun the camera around to face us, probably for a comparison. It certainly was plain where the differences were.

Shepard looked every bit a military woman, from her composed stance with her hands behind her back, to her rather plain armor. The only bit of decoration on the all-black armor was the red stripe down one arm and the N7 on her chest.

I on the other hand looked every bit the mercenary I claimed to be, between the grey cameo pattern, red omega on the chest, more knives than a butcher shop, and crossed arms. There was also my completely expressionless face.

"Humans have been trying, often without success, to get the respect of the community for 26 years. With that in mind, what are your thoughts on being the first human spectres?"

Shepard was quick with a reply. "The Spectres represent the best of the best of every species in the galaxy. Being asked to join them is a tremendous honor."

"And yet, Bourne wasn't asked to join. He was promoted on your recommendation. " She turned the camera to face me. "Many have called your appointments the council "throwing humanity a bone." What do you say to that?"

I shrugged. "You ask me, Shepard ought to have been made a Spectre years ago. "

"And yourself?"

I kept my face expressionless as I replied. "Shepard made the recommendation, and the Council and Udina accepted it. As did Captain Anderson, one of humanity's most decorated officers."

"So you say that they were throwing humanity a bone?"

"I'm saying that there's… 10 different races they have to worry about, if I just counted right, and humans are only one of them. We're the newcomers, and there's only so much they can do for one race at a time. Really, complaining about not getting enough attention is petty when there's that much to worry about."

She turned back to Shepard. "Is that true Commander? Or have there been instances where the Council has asked you to put its needs above those of Earth?"

"As Bourne just said, there are many races in this galactic community that they're responsible for. Humanity is just one of many, and they need to stay focused on the galaxy as a whole."

She looked between us skeptically. "You really do believe that, don't you?"

"I don't make a policy of saying things I can't back up." I said dryly.

"Some people have accused you of having been a candidate for years, with you being a mercenary a cover story to cover up classified information."

"Was it really "some people", or are you just trying to dig into my past?"

She just smiled coyly, something I was certain she wouldn't have done if the camera was focused on her.

"Well, then, I'll have to say whoever said that is completely wrong. I was an Ex-merc when I met Shepard, and that's likely what I'd still be if not for her."

_(Wasn't your cover story than you wanted to join the Alliance, and that's why you headed for Eden Prime?)_

_)It still holds up. Besides, I doubt this bloody journalist will believe anything I say anyway.(_

"Is it also true that the ship you've been given command of is a highly advanced Alliance warship?"

I glanced at Shepard, who took the hint to step in. "Actually, the ship was co-designed by both human and turian engineers. It has many prototype innovations not found in other warships- all of which are classified I'm afraid."

She swung the camera back at me. "Anything else to add Lt. Bourne?"

"Yeah. If you keep calling me that, then I'll demonstrate one of my favorite features of the vessel. The giant cannons that work extremely well against reporters."

She allowed her cool gaze to slip slightly.

_Amateur. Wouldn't last five minutes in a real poker game._

_(And I suppose you would? You don't even remember ever playing poker.)_

_)And how do you know so much about what I do and don't remember?(_

_(I've been rifling through your memories when I'm bored. I can't believe you'd only seen one of the Saw films.)_

"So if it was designed by turians, then they have knowledge of the Normandy you're keeping secret from the alliance public? And is it really appropriate to hand over such a ship to the control of the Citadel."

"I wasn't aware it had been handed over to anyone." Shepard said coldly. "Bourne and I are still in charge, and we're still part of the Alliance, as is most of the crew."

"Most?"

I spoke up, mostly to help block out the pyscho I was now sharing a skull with. "We have a few aliens aboard that volunteered to help in the fight against Saren."

"Are you sure that's wi-"

"Look, I just had this conversation with someone else five minutes ago. To summarize, I'd trust any of them with my life- especially considering that they've already saved it a few times."

_(Ok, I get that Wrex and Liara pulled you onboard and spoiled my early birthday present to myself, but how did the other two save you?)_

_)Garrus is the one who finished off the knife system, and Tali saved me from the turrets when I got stuck in the Mako.(_

_(Didn't she also let the turrets at you in the first place?)_

_)I'm exaggerating a bit. Isn't that what you're supposed to do when you're on TV?(_

"So you have no problems working with aliens?"

"I grew up on a mostly alien space station. I'm less concerned with species then I am about character, ability, stuff like that."

"Interesting." She turned back to Shepard. "Is this why you decided to make him your second in command, despite being a me-"

"Ex-mercenary." We both said at once.

"Ex-mercenary?" She corrected, irritated.

"It was one of many reasons. The other reasons being that he's half the reason we found Saren was guilty, he's one of the best biotics I've ever met-"

"Well, I'm sure you'd know what makes a good leader." She interrupted. "Considering your own experience."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"How many marines was it you lost on your first command? 40? 50? Yes, I'd say you know exactly what you're doing."

Shepard froze. Her expression wasn't like the one I'd seen in the Mako when we'd been attacked by the Thesher Maw, but there was just as much emotion behind it.

I felt a surge of anger, and a flash of light in the corner of my eyes. I clenched my fist, and felt a familiar sensation as I did so.

_(I take it you've had enough of her diseng-)_

I didn't listen to Iron. My biotics were back, and this bitch was just asking for me to use them.

"I'm sure that-" she cut off as my body glowed with blue energy, and I rammed a fist directly into the front of the camera.

"Oops, looks like there are some technical difficulties." I said with a devious smile. "I guess we'll have to cut things short."

I punctuated that last sentence by ramming my other fist into the camera, and ripping it in half. Pieces of camera spread across the floor, and people that had been nearby were suddenly very eager to be anywhere else.

She looked at me in pure awe.

"Sorry about that. I guess I really ought to keep a better lid on my temper."

"You son of a bitch! Do you have any idea how much that cost? I'll make sure-"

I cut her off by grabbing her by the throat and lifting her into the air. Her hands flew to mine, vainly trying to pry it off.

"Let me make this perfectly clear." I said in a quiet but menacing voice. "You want to smear me, make me look bad, fine. You want to insult my skills or experience, I honestly don't give a damn. But when you start doing that to my friends, I get pissed off."

"When the public sees this-" She managed to croak out, almost managing to pry my hand off of her. "Your career is ruined."

"I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Which I doubt I will, because I promise you, if you ever try something like this again-" I smiled. "You'll be envying your camera."

I dropped her on the floor distastefully. "Now get lost while your legs are still working."

She slowly got back up. "Would you like me to quote you on that?" She said with a smile. I followed her gaze and saw a second camera drone off to the side, no doubt having caught every moment of what just transpired.

I sighed. "Tell me, do those things come out your paycheck?"

"Yes. If you were to reimburse me, I might leave that part-"

I sent a knife into my hand, and she tried to back up, but only succeeded in tripping over a twisted hunk of metal.

"Not why I was asking." I said, flicking the knife at the second camera, charging it with Biotic energy. It went straight through, causing the camera's lights to flicker a moment before the whole thing fell to the ground.

_(Meh, I give that about a 6 on the badass scale. If you'd at least knee capped her, that could've pushed you up to a 7.)_

_)Is your scale out of 10, or 100?( _

_(1000.)_

I turned back to the version of Shepard I actually cared about. She still looked completely shocked.

Well, to be fair so did everyone else that was around. But their shock was more of a "did you see what he just did?" type of shock then "horrible memories" shock.

"You ok Shepard?"

She blinked a few times, and looked around at the debris and the reporter currently trying to crawl away without me noticing.

"I'm fine." She said, only slightly more convincing than the last time I'd heard it. "But did you really just-"

I pulled the second camera over with my biotics. "Did I just threaten a reporter and destroy two cameras?"

I thrust a hand through it, and pulled out a few wires that looked important. "Yes."

"You are completely…Thanks."

I shrugged. "Like I said to the Admiral, reporter falls under the "people I hate" category." I chuckled. "As do people who mess with my friends."

She gave me an odd look, but nodded. "We should probably get going before that story airs and Udina's afraid to be anywhere near you."

_If he's smart, he already is._

"I don't know- I doubt there's much then can salvage from these things' memory banks." I said, dropping the camera in my hand and stomping on it.

"But yeah, we probably should hightail it out of here."

I lead the way over to the rapid transit terminal and hopped inside. And since the universe just seemed to like irritating me, Kaidan grabbed shotgun while Shepard and Liara piled into the back.

He at least seemed content not to talk, which suited me just fine.

"Are you sure you're alright Commander?" Liara asked quietly. I knew that without my enhanced hearing, I wouldn't have been able to tell she was talking at all.

"Yes."

"I only ask because when we melded minds, Akuze seemed to particularly… I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."

_Well, now I've got a choice. I can try making conversation with the guy I'm all but guaranteed to kill, I can talk to the moron that tried to kill me, or I can eavesdrop on possibly the only friend I have in this galaxy._

_Hmph, some choice._

"It's alright Liara. It's just that… no matter how many nightmares I have about it, or how many times I have flashbacks, it never gets any easier. I'm always at my weakest when I think about it."

"I would call you a great many things Raptor, but weak is not one of them. From what I saw when we joined our minds, I would actually call you among the strongest."

"That means a lot."

I waited a count of three, then casually turned my head back towards them. Shepard's head was on the Asari's shoulder. Both of them had their eyes closed.

I hurriedly turned my head back around. _Ok, did I miss something here? She's calling her Raptor, and they're not exactly being formal back there._

"If there's one good thing I can say about Saren, it's that he's the only reason I met you." Shepard murmered.

"Yes. I suppose that is the one good thing."

…_God I'm an idiot._

_(Not that I disagree, but why do you say that?)_

_)The fact that it took me this long to see- I must've seen Shepard going into the back of the medbay to talk to Liara at least 20 times when I was recovering. And back when I was talking to the Council, and said something about not knowing the difference between a normal mind meld and the romantic version, she blushed as red as when I made the joke about her swinging for Asari.(_

_(… You _are_ an idiot.)_

I noticed that Kaidan had also seen what was going on back there, and looked distinctly uncomfortable.

_I mean, I realized it was possible, but…_

_(But you didn't think you'd actually have the opportunity to see two chicks make out?_

_)…Well, with enough-(_

_(The chance to see two _sober_ chicks make out.)_

_)No. Not so much.(_

That seemed to shut him up, at least for the remainder of the ride. Nobody else talked much either. Shepard and Liara just seemed content to enjoy each other's company.

The car pulled up the embassies, and I couldn't help but notice as I got out that the two women were walking a lot closer to each other than before.

_(You know that Asari aren't technically-)_

_) Don't. Even. (_

I took point since they seemed distracted, and thus I was the one Udina saw when he looked up from his desk.

"Bourne. To what do I owe the _pleasure?_"

I opened my mouth to speak, but he cut me off.

"You are making life very difficult you know. First you lose an expensive piece of military equipment, not to mention the cost to keep you alive, and now I've received word that Dr. T'soni has joined you aboard the Normandy."

I jerked a thumb over my shoulder. "She's also right there."

He glanced past me, though I guessed from his lack of expression that she and Shepard had separated a bit.

"Yes, I have a transcript of your talk with the Council. Your reasons seem at least somewhat logical." He stood up suddenly. "But cutting them off mid-conversation? Twice?"

"You know, the 2nd time the conversation was over anyway, so it's not really-"

"Don't argue technicalities, Lieutenant. It isn't your strong suit. As it is, I half expect the council to strip you of your Spectre Status."

"Isn't it your job to keep them from doing that?" I asked rhetorically.

"If you're worth the effort to keep."

I crossed my arms. "Like it or not, it's a bit late to decide that. There are only two human Spectres at the moment. The council demotes either of us, and humanity won't exactly keep their respect." _And you'll be taking some heat as well._

He grimaced. "Which is why I'd appreciate it if you didn't make it harder to keep it. At the very least you can handle yourself well in a fight, which is more than can be said for a lot of people. I'm still not thrilled by the idea of you being a Spectre, but we'll have to make the best of it."

I stood thinking that over, trying to decide whether or not I was insulted.

"In the meantime, I suggest you try not to irritate anyone else that can make things more difficult for us all. As it is, Anderson had to pull in a lot of favors to get you your new tank within the week."

He turned his chair away from us. "Try not to destroy this one."

It was a clear dismissal, but I let it slide. I'd used up my ability to deal with idiots without being punched.

I just rolled my eyes and left, the others on my tail. I got the feeling Liara and Shepard hadn't heard a word that had been said- though I was unsure about Kaidan.

I noticed as we got into the car that the two ended up in the backseat again.

I refrained from commenting though, not wanting to embarrass Liara on the off chance I was somehow wrong.

"_Raptor" on the other hand, I have no such qualms about._

* * *

**So- and given my previous track record with such predictions I may just be jinxing myself here- I am right at a point where things start being easier to convert over. So-at least for now- I should be able to stick to weekly uploads.  
**

**Note that I said should.**

**There is one other thing I want to mention in regards to that. I do have a twitter account up, because my original intention was to give updates on progress and maybe do polls if I can't decide how to do something.  
I ended up mostly abandoning it due to lack of interest. My question being, is anyone interested in a system like that? If enough people follow me, I'm willing to actually do that. I'll put the link up on my author page in case in anyone is interested.  
**


	24. Could've Thought That Through Better

"Tali, might want to adjust the current on circuit 3" Adam's voice snapped Tali back to reality. She did a quick check on the console she had taken over, and saw the Adams was right.

_Oh keelah! I need to focus on what I'm doing. _She admonished herself, adjusting the electric current running through the Element Zero core.

_I know what Bourne said, what Garrus said, what everybody said. Even the pilot- Joker, isn't it?- told me I shouldn't blame myself._

She double checked the other circuits to make sure she hadn't been distracted enough to let them get out of balance as well and looked again at the Massive drive core, bigger than any that she'd ever seen on the flotilla.

_But I just can't shake the feeling that I could have avoided that whole mess._ She shook her head, grateful for once that her mask kept the engineers from seeing her conflicting expressions. She tried to refocus on her work, and for a while she succeeded.

Then she heard footsteps coming up behind her. Not nearly loud enough to be Wrex, and much too loud to be Shepard. She knew it also couldn't have been Bourne- she noticed he never seemed to make noise when he walked unless it was deliberate.

She sighed, guessing who it'd be. "Tali, do you have a minute?" The voice confirmed her suspicions.

"I suppose I can spare a few." she sighed.

Garrus had tried the hardest of all the crew to get her to accept that it wasn't her fault, for reasons she didn't quite understand.

"I was just coming to ask you if you were interested in coming along with the rest of us to the Citadel."

"The Citadel?"

"Bourne and Shepard suggested bringing the ground team to Flux."

"And just, what? Spend time relaxing?"

"Pretty much. That's sort of the whole point of shore leave."

"I don't know Garrus, I'm kind of busy with this..." she trailed off vaugly. _Just me spending time with them? What would I even do?_

"Tali, I might not be an engineer, but I still know enough about tech to say that you don't have to worry about a Mass Effect core as much when it isn't being used."

Tali looked towards the console, then back at Garrus. "I'll think about it. No promises."

Garrus shook his head. "Alright. Still, I hope you do want to come with the rest of us…wait…that expression just went somewhere horrible" Tali just stared at him in confusion.

"Anyway, we'll probably be heading out in just a few hours."

He left the engine room, leaving Tali somehow more unfocused on her work then she'd been before.

* * *

"So, you and T'soni, eh Commander?"

She wheeled around from her locker in shock. For once, her fellow Spectre was making no effort to hide his expression, grinning almost ear to ear.

_I knew there was a reason he didn't go down to put away gear like the other two._

"I have no idea what you're talking abo-"

"Oh come on 'Raptor'. The only way the two of you could have been more obvious is if you'd started French-'

"This conversation is over." She said firmly, but at the same time feeling heat flood her cheeks.

He chuckled. "I swear, when you get embarrassed, you turn redder than some Salarians I've seen."

"Well, Liara and I did become rather close after we brought her onboard."

"Yeah, I gathered that when you started using her as a pillow."

She glared at him for the remark. "You know that isn't what I meant."

"You trying to convince me, or convince yourself?"

"Maybe I have some feelings for her, and maybe she feels the same."

His face became unreadable. "I'm just amazed I didn't see it sooner." He sounded mostly like he was talking to himself.

"Well, you've seen it now."

"I wouldn't say I've "seen" anything…But if you're making me an offer-"

She swung at him, but he managed to avoid it, his grin only becoming larger.

"Look, I've at least suspected you were into Asari ever since you bit my head off over the Consort. Every time I brought her up your face went crimson- sorta like it is right now."

She grimaced, wondering if it was that obvious to everyone. Kaidan probably knew if he was in the same car.

"Are you afraid of losing people's respect or something?" He asked.

"For what? If I became an Asari's girlfriend?"

"More for having an Asari girlfriend."

"They only have the one gend-"

"Don't start with that Shepard. They've got high heels, lipstick, and everything else in between that tends to mean a female." He paused. "Unless you know something I don't?"

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." She crossed her arms. "Regardless of that, there is another reason. If I do end up with an Asari, it might seem like I've become… well, you heard what the reporter and the admiral were saying. So I'd appreciate it if-"

"Got it. Tell everyone I see."

She glared at him.

"I was kidding, geez. I just don't get why you're so… high strung about it."

"I get the feeling that me dating her would be somehow lead to-"

"I never mentioned dating." He said with a smile. "I believe the term for that is a Freudian slip… Raptor. Man, the pet names she's going to- Ow!"

He rubbed his arm ruefully.

"Weren't fast enough that time Bourne."

"I let that one connect."

"Uh-huh. Sure."

"Look, all I'm saying is that it might be better if you just clear the air and get it out in the open. People are going to find out somehow."

"Maybe. I'll think about it. But for now-"

"Got it. Mum's the word."

She looked at him in question.

"It means I'll keep it a secret." He said, sounding annoyed with himself. "Blasted outdated jargon."

"Could be worse. Have you ever read Shakespeare?"

He chuckled. "So, when are we heading out to Flux?"

"I don't know. Did you talk to Wrex or Garrus about it? Or Tali for that matter?"

"I suppose it would be a good idea to actually tell, considering getting her out of the dumps is the whole reason for doing this."

She stared at him again. "It's lucky I have context for that."

His face went completely expressionless. "I'll go and ask them."

He turned and walked over to the elevator- though she noticed he walked a bit faster than he usually did.

_Must just be embarrassed about his speech being so out of date. _ She thought as she turned back to storing her gear.

* * *

_(You realize how stupid doing that is?)_

I hit the button to take the elevator down to the cargo hold.

_)I managed to avoid her punches. Well, half of them anyway.(_

_(I mean using terms from the 21__st__ century. Not all of them are still around.)_

_)Well, it's either risk using an outdated expression, or being the most bland person to listen to ever.(_

_(I'd rather have her consider you bland then consider you someone that needs to be killed. She probably already suspects you're hiding something, and that doesn't exactly help disprove it.)_

I narrowed my eyes. _)Why would you, of all people, care? I thought you'd managed to convince yourself that if I died, you'd end up taking control of my body. Although I don't know what you think you'd be able to accomplish as a corpse/zombie.(_

_(Pay attention you idiot. If my powers can somehow make you a Spectre, it's obvious that they'd be able to correct a far greater rift in the timeline- namely having you in charge.)_

_)What, you think you'd end up back on Eden Prime?(_

_(Precisely. But only if I'm the one responsible for your death. Simply allowing someone else to do it would also kill me, as would just letting you waste away in a mad house.)_

_)Ok, ignoring for a moment that that isn't even close to what'd really happen, why would you even want to be in my position? You must've had a hard enough time doing it as the main fighter- why would you want to be a side kick to Raptor?(_

_(Thank you for finally calling her that. And it's simple- with the power to literally change the universe, I would be the most powerful being in existence. More powerful than Chuck Norris even!)_

I had to stifle a chuckle, but I got the feeling he knew about it. _)Ok, I'd just like to point out how often I died in your playthrough- or with vanguards in general. And around here, there's not exactly the option to reload to an old save.(_

_(You were merely moving a joystick and pressing buttons. I'm a trained operative. And I certainly wouldn't be dumb enough to stand there and let someone hit me.)_

_)I could have stopped her 5 different ways if I wanted to.(_

_(Uh-huh. Sure.)_

_)Did you just deliberately say the same thing as her or-(_

_(Maybe I did. Or maybe it's because we're different versions of the same people. You can't know, now can you?) _He laughed manically.

_)Emphasis on different, considering she swings for Asari. And isn't a total pyscopath. And isn't ugly as-(_

_(As you?)_

_)… alright, yeah, I walked into that one.(_

_(And, aside from the whole mind melding thing, I'm not into snakes.)_

_)What?(_

_(Asari are like… scaly. You must've noticed at some point?)_

_)… Look, it'd been a while since I played through the third game, alright? They don't look so much that way in the other 2 games. And I guess I haven't noticed it here.(_

_(And details like that are why I'd do a much better job in this position than you.) _ He abruptly withdrew to the back of my mind. I didn't know why, but I got the feeling this time he'd stay out of my way for a while.

The elevator doors slid open, and I went to store my gear. I was surprised to see that the only person in the room was the requisitions officer.

It occurred to me as I grabbed my pistol to put it away that I didn't even know what mods were on my guns. _That's definitely an important detail. Guess even a lunatic can have a good idea every once in a while. _

I took it over to Ashley's table- which was odd to see without her there- and it took me about 10 seconds to take it apart, though I wasn't surprised. _Hmm, shredder rounds and a recoil dampener. Good, but considering how many Geth we'll be fighting, I'd rather have something that works on organics and synthetics. _

I scooped up the mods and glanced over at the requisitions officer. He was in his corner, apparently searching through one of his crates of gear.

I hadn't traded more than a few words with him, but we each knew who the other person was. I checked my Omni-tool to see what was in my account, and was pleased to see that I'd received my first paycheck. _Might not be enough to buy anything, but it's at least worth a look._

_Though how is it that of all the things that had to be the exact same as in the game, it had to be shopping? I swear, if I ever do figure out who's responsible for me being here…_

I walked over to him, clearing my throat so I wouldn't startle him. Going ninja was a bad idea with that many guns nearby that he could point my way.

"Give me a second, I'm trying to find something."

I shrugged and leaned against the wall. But as I'd said to Harkin, patience wasn't my strong suit. After maybe 3 minutes of watching him move crates around to check them I spoke up. "What exactly are you looking for?"

"A new gun for Commander Shepard. I finally managed to find a slightly used sniper rifle that's still high quality."

"Slightly used?"

"She always wants the best sniper rifle, but she doesn't always like paying for one. This way I can sell it at her type of price and still make a profit. And it might keep her out of my hair for a while."

"I see. Is she here right now, waiting impatiently and being tempted to put you in singularity for keeping me waiting?"

"… I'll look for it more later. What can I help you with?"

"I want to know what sort of mods you have for a pistol. This thing isn't bad, but I'd like a little more versatility."

He thought for a moment. "Well, what do you have now?"

"Shredder rounds and a recoil dampener."

"What model is it?"

I frowned. "I'm not sure actually. It was just something I salvaged." I shrugged and let my face go back to normal. "I was hoping for something that'll hit hard, and work on whatever it hits- synthetic or organic."

He glanced at the crates. "So, you want more powerful shots, but are you willing to get less before the gun overheats?"

I thought a moment. "If it's going to take a while to cool down, no. But if it's only a quick delay, I can always fall back on my knives or biotics."

"Hmm. Then I think I have just the thing. It might take me a minute to find though." He crouched in front of one crate and started shifting things around. "Oh, here's Shepard's sniper rifle."

I glared at him. The glowing eyes definitely seemed to enhance it, judging by how quickly he set it to the side and kept looking.

"Right, sorry." He moved to another crate. "Ah, here it is." he stood back up and handed it to me for inspection.

The first thing I noticed was that it was slightly smaller than other pistols I'd seen, though it was still bigger than they were back in the 21st century- maybe halfway in between. Rather than having space for the entire hand, the trigger guard only fit around my index and middle finger. The other two wrapped around an extension that jutted out from the bottom- like a hybrid with a "real" pistol.

Despite the size it, it seemed to weigh only slightly less than the pistol I already had. It was also an odd light grey color. Not quite transparent, but there was a hint of that in the material. I was almost certain I'd never seen a gun like it before.

"What exactly am I looking at?"

"It's an S-17 Assassin. It's a rare model, but a good one." He gestured for me to hand it back, so I did- more reluctantly than I would have expected. "As you can see, it's much smaller and easier to conceal than a normal gun. And it's made of a lightweight polymer instead of metal, so most weapons scanners can't pick it up."

"I already like it. But what about its hitting power?"

"That's the best part. It uses explosive rounds…Well, semi explosive. Smaller but more controlled explosions. It still generates a lot of heat, but the material it's made of means that it doesn't build up as quickly. And with less space to store heat, it vents quickly too. You can get about five shots off before it overheats- if you're careful."

I looked at it again. "Why do I get the feeling this is going to be a bit more expensive than Shepard's used rifle?"

"Actually, trade in your other pistol and this one is yours."

I blinked in surprise. "Didn't you say it was rare?"

"It's rare because it's technically illegal in council space. It was developed for the salarian STG, but it was replaced by something else not long after. Not sure what it was- classified- but that's why they were discontinued. "

_Hmm, probably the Scorpion. Still explosive, but with the option to stick to walls and stuff. Wonder if I could manage to get my hands on one of those somehow…_

"They couldn't release something like this for the civilian market, and no race wanted the others to be able to sneak guns around. I'd never be able to sell it. But you're a Spectre, which means-"

"Which means I'm about the only person you can give it to." I looked at it, trying to keep my interest off my face. "So, why exactly do you have an illegal gun? And does Shepard know about it?"

"I offered it to her, but she already has one-shot kill capability for her sniper rifle. For her pistol she prefers something pretty rapid fire. As for how I have it… I'm not quite sure where it came from. It just ended up in one of my deliveries." He lowered his voice. "To tell the truth, I suspect it might have been Wrex who ordered it. Or maybe there's someone else who's not exactly trustworthy on board."

_Or it could be here the same as the knives. But that'd seem a bit of a stretch._

"Alright, deal. Let me go put my other gun back together, and it's all yours."

* * *

Tali jumped as Bourne suddenly said her name.

"Yes?" She asked as she spun around, trying to pretend she hadn't been startled. She doubted she'd fooled him though.

It was harder to read his face than most humans, but she got the sense from his body language that he was amused.

"Did Garrus already ask you about going with the rest of us to Flux?"

She took a second to make sure her voice would be composed. "I told him I'd think about it. Then he got embarrassed and left."

"Embarrassed? Why would he-"

"I'm not sure. It was right after he said something about hoping I came with all of you."

He digested that for a moment, and then laughed.

She stared at him in confusion. "I think I'm missing the joke."

I'm not sure it'd actually translate." He said with a chuckle. "Anyway, are you interested in tagging along? Might be a nice change of pace from just looking at a terminal all day."

"The last time I left the engine room, I dropped a mountain on top of us, and let turrets shoot at you."

He slapped himself in the face in response.

Tali wondered briefly if humans had fewer nerves there, because she knew it would hurt if she did that.

"Tali, I thought we went over this." He removed his hand. "Nobody onboard blames you at all- least of all me. Hell, if you hadn't fired the laser instead of me, I probably would have dropped the mountain on us a lot sooner- assuming I didn't also fry Liara in the process."

She looked away from him, at her console. "I don't know. Last time I was on the Citadel, it didn't go well." She rubbed her arm. "And not just because of Saren. Everyone treated me like a thief- or worse. C-sec held me for hours before they let me go, and I had to bribe them to let me keep my guns."

When she glanced back at him, his face was just as composed, but his shoulders were tense, his hands were half clenched into fists, and he generally seemed on edge.

"No wonder Garrus left." He muttered, his tone confirming that he was ticked off about it. He raised his voice to a more normal level, and managed to get most of the anger out of it. "But I seriously doubt that'll happen this time."

"Quarians are always-"

"Tali, you're going to be with a pair of Spectres. Specifically, the only two human Spectres. Not to mention a couple of marines, a Krogan Mercenary, and a Turian Sniper. Between that bunch of highly trained killers, nobody will pay any attention to one lone quarian… and I just now realized how that sounded when said aloud."

Tali had to agree, fighting down a shudder. Wrex in particular terrified her. Whenever he looked at someone, it was like he was trying to figure out the best way to kill them. And he probably was.

"I appreciate the offer Bourne, but I'm needed here."

He raised an eyebrow, a slight grin on his face. "Really?" He looked over at Engineer Adams, and she got the feeling she wasn't going to like what came next.

"Adams, you think you can spare her for a bit?"

"We'll manage. The engine doesn't require half as much maintenance when it's in port."

Tali had to admit that it was a clever way to get around her protests.

He seemed to catch what little expression could be seen through her helmet. "Look, if you really don't want to come, that's your choice. I'm just saying, a little R and R would probably do you some good."

"I know, but it's just a little… unusual for me. Quarians don't really get to take a day off- not when any mechanical issue could lead to the entire ship-"

"This ship doesn't have that issue."

"I know. But still, if I'm on duty-"

"Then consider yourself off duty, because I'm hereby authorizing you for shore leave. So if you want to go to Flux with the rest of us, now it's not going to mean you're skipping work." He shrugged. "Or you can spend your vacation doing the same thing you've been doing for ages." He walked towards the door. "Your choice."

After a moment's hesitation, Tali followed him. She thought she saw a hint of a satisfied smile before his face went back to normal.

He only stopped long enough to see if any of the other members of the ground crew were on this level, giving Tali time to grab her guns, and her shield generator. She decided against attaching the rest of her armor overlays though, since they were heavy and usually uncomfortable.

And as Bourne said, it wasn't as though she'd be alone this time.

She held the elevator for Bourne, who didn't seem to have any weapons.

"Thanks." He acknowledged with a nod, leaning against the wall as the elevator started moving.

Out of habit, Tali squeezed herself into the corner, so would be more space for other people- a habit from the crowded conditions of the Flotilla.

They stood in silence for a few moments. "How did your meeting with the Ambassador go?" Tali asked, unable to think of anything else to say.

"Well, Shepard ended up letting me do most of the talking- though at least that went better then with the Admiral that met us on the way there."

"Admiral?"

"Yeah. Shepard and the Normandy would have been under his command if not for the whole Spectre thing. He wanted to make a surprise inspection of the ship."

"That was an Admiral that was down here? Bosh'tet, I wish I'd known so I could've greeted him properly."

"Well, it's not as if Alliance Admirals are quite like the Quarian Admiralty board. And no offense, but I get the feeling he wouldn't have been that… pleasant if you had. He wasn't thrilled at us having non-human crew members."

"I wonder if that's why Wrex didn't like him."

"Wrex?"

"I could sort of see through the door. I think he was asking him why he was here. Wrex eventually pulled his shotgun from his locker and was waving it in his direction. He left after that."

"Heh. Remind me to buy him a drink when we get to Flux."

The elevator doors slid open, and revealed the Krogan in question. "There you are. Shepard sent me to come and get you."

Bourne must've been surprised, because his hand went to where his pistol would normally be.

Wrex obviously noticed, looking pointedly at his weaponless thigh. "Bourne, even if you had your gun, be realistic. You really think a pistol would take me down?"

Bourne smiled. "Depends on the pistol." He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a collapsed pistol, activating it in the process. "I haven't had a chance to test this thing yet, but with explosive rounds, well…"

"Hpph. Looks small for a handgun."

Tali took a look and saw that he was right. The trigger guard only fit half of his hand, and the rest of the dimensions were smaller than her own pistol.

"Not everyone has fingers as big as you do Wrex."

He chuckled at that. "Maybe. Still, powerful as that type of mod is, you can't get off more than a few shots before it overheats."

Bourne shrugged and shoved it back in his pocket. "Biotics can always keep me covered in the meantime."

He moved past the Krogan out of the elevator. Wrex turned to face him. "You're going out with that little Pyjack killer and not even a shield generator?"

"It's not like I don't know how to make a biotic barrier. Besides, I'm supposed to be avoiding fights right now."

"I've learned to always expect trouble. Besides, a few good shots can bring down a biotic barrier easily." Tali stepped out behind him, but ducked back in as Bourne spun around, gun now in hand.

He fired twice as Wrex, and the Krogan's shields dropped as he was sent stumbling back.

"I could say the same about your shields." Bourne said as he collapsed his gun and slid it back in his pocket.

Wrex stared at him a moment, then started laughing. "Bourne, you've got one hell of a quad." He shook his head. "But if you're ever foolish enough to shoot at me again- let's just say it won't be pretty."

"Who's more foolish? The fool, or the fool that follows him?"

Tali had to admit he had a point, as did Wrex after a moment.

"Well said. Fits just about every other Krogan I've ever met."

"Well, to be fair I stole it from an old vid. But it seemed to fit in well here." He turned back to the stairs. "Come on, let's not keep Shepard waiting." He headed up, followed by the other two. "Come to think of it, I should probably tell her that it was me shooting so she doesn't think we're under attack. Really could have thought that through better."

* * *

**That'll do it for this chapter. Though I'm glad I finally took the time to make something slightly unique for the coverart.**

**Anyway, see you guys next week.**

**And if you want updates on progress, or to ask about when stuff will be out, Etc, my twitter link is on my profile page. If you guys follow, I'll update it, but at this point with just over a dozen, it seems kinda ridiculous. **

**I did have someone suggest me setting up a facebook account though. Anyone be open to that?**


	25. Memories

As the other two went up the stairs, Tali made sure to keep some distance between them and herself. Bourne had a point about Shepard possibly thinking the ship was under attack.

While she doubted Shepard was the type to shoot without making sure she knew what she was aiming at, she also was the most vulnerable of the three, even with her shield generator.

Whereas Wrex and Bourne were both biotics, and Krogan could regenerate from most injuries anyway.

As the door slid open, her fears seemed justified as Bourne suddenly has a pistol pointed at his face.

Ashley's eyes widened as she realized who she was pointing a gun at, though Bourne hardly reacted at all. At least with his facial expression. Tali could see him tense up slightly, but she doubted anyone else would have noticed.

"So do you always point weapons at your fellow marines, or is that treatment reserved for me?" Even his voice seemed calm, though there was the slightest hint of stress in it.

She lowered the gun hastily. "Sorry, we could have sworn we heard gunshots down there."

"You did. I was showing Wrex my new gun." He said with a shrug as he walked past her.

She moved aside to let the Krogan by, though she glared at his retreating back. The glare turned to a smile as she saw Tali though.

"So Bourne convinced you to tag along after all, huh?"

"Yes. Though I'm not sure exactly how."

"I can be very convincing when I want to be." Ashley jumped as his voice went right into her ear. Tali nearly did too, even though she'd seen him behind her.

"How do you always do that?" The Chief asked as she spun around.

"Trade secret. Though I can think of a few ways you could convince me to tell you." His smile seemed slightly odd to Tali, but she couldn't say what was off about it.

The Gunnery Chief shook her head, though Tali saw a small smile on her face, much like Bourne's. "Don't get any funny ideas Bourne."

"Scared Miss Williams?"

"You wish." She scoffed.

"Are you ladies coming?" Wrex shouted over his shoulder. Tali wasn't quite sure what the gesture Bourne made meant, but she got the feeling it was meant to be insulting. The two extra fingers always threw her off when she looked at human or asari hands.

"Well, after you." Ashley said.

"What, is chivalry dead? I thought it was ladies first."

"With anyone else, yes. You, I want where I can see."

He rolled his eyes, but started walking towards the bow.

Tali noticed that Ashley seemed to be staring at him, but was too busy examining the ships controls to take any real notice. Even after several days onboard the ship, she was still amazed by how advanced everything was.

She suddenly noticed that the other two were already to the cockpit, and hurried to catch up.

"Sure you don't want to come along Joker?" Bourne asked.

"Yeah, crutches don't exactly make it easy to get around or up stairs. Especially when drunk."

"Fair point." He chuckled. "I already feel like I'll end up carrying someone aboard, without adding a person."

"Yeah. Just bring me back a burger and cold one and we're good."

"I might. Depends on how badly alcohol impairs my memory." He laughed, as if at his own private joke.

"As long as it isn't radioactive, I'll take it."

"Have fun sitting in the parked ship." He chuckled as he stepped into the airlock, holding it for Tali; Wrex and Ashley had apparently already gone through.

Shepard was waiting for them, along with the rest of the squad. "So, Ashley tells me you have a new gun?"

"It's actually an antique."

She glared at him. "Is there a reason you were firing it on the ship, outside the shooting range?"

"Wrex said something about how me relying on a biotic barrier instead of a shield was dumb because of how easy they are to bring down. So I decided to test how strong his shields are in comparison."

Those who hadn't been there stared at him.

"Uh, Bourne, can you run that by me again?" Garrus asked, his mandible twitching.

"Well, I needed to test the gun at some point. Wrex seemed to be volunteering, and I figured if I accidently actually hit him… well I think it'd probably improve his looks." That earned him a glare from the Krogan in question.

"You shot at Wrex?" Garrus asked incredulously.

"Congratulations! You've won a gold star for paying attention."

Shepard rolled her eyes. "At least he seems to be intact."

"How can you tell? I mean, he was already-"

" I mean that you seem mostly intact." Shepard said with a small smile.

Bourne's face went blank, smile completely gone.

"Come on, let's head to Flux."

"Sure you wouldn't rather go to Chora's den? I hear the bullet holes I put in the walls add a real family friendly atmosphere."

"Yeah. And I'm sure all the half-naked Asari also help with that."

"I figured you might appreciate that too."

"Do you really want to start out the evening by being assaulted by your commanding officer?"

"Meh, good point. Rather get at least a couple drinks before that happens."

She let out an exasperated sigh- or maybe it was a groan- and got into the elevator, followed by everyone else.

Tali looked between them in wonder before shaking her head and joining them. She was beginning to wonder if she'd ever understand aliens.

The ride passed mostly in silence, though Tali noticed that Bourne seemed slightly withdrawn, or wasn't paying attention to his surroundings.

* * *

_(You could not "take" Wrex under any circumstances.)_

_)The gun shoots rounds that explode.( _ I countered as I leaned against the wall. _)If rounds that set them on fire stop a krogan from regenerating, I think something that makes them blow up also works.(_

_(He could rip you in half without even trying.)_

_)Not if I put him in stasis.(_

_(Which would only tick him off more. Trust me, a Krogan is a tough opponent to fight. You ought to know that, considering you've got a nasty pair of scars courtesy of the last one you fought.)_

_)Well, if you were in charge of this body, then it might matter what you think. Last I checked though, this is my body. If you don't like it, get out.(_

_(If I could, believe me, I would. But since that's not an option, we're stuck like this. And if you die-)_

_)If I die, so do you, I got it.(_

_(Unless I'm the one that kills you. But unless that happy occasion should come to pass, you really could learn a lot by listening to me.)_

_)Like what, how to kill the most people in 20 seconds?(_

_(No, of course not. That should be obvious, I don't need to teach it. I'm talking about tricks I picked up from being an N7.)_

_)Yeah, if I needed any tips like that, I can think off far better people to ask than you.(_

_(Raptor might have me beat in terms of shooting-)_

_)And punching.(_

_(-And punching, but she wouldn't know half as much about biotics as I do. When it comes to that, I'm your best bet.)_

_)Yeah, minus the fact I trust you as far as _Tali_ could biotically throw you.(_

_(Oh, very clever…That was sarcasm by the way.)_

_)Darn, and here I was thinking you were being genuine.(_

_(Idiot. Well, if you want to ignore me and get yourself killed, I'm just fine with that. Maybe it'll actually count.)_

He withdrew, and in the way that I knew meant it'd be a while until he showed himself again.

The elevator doors slid open, allowing our very diverse group out. I noticed a couple of C-sec agents giving Wrex and Tali the stink eye, the latter tempting tempted me to 'test' out my gun some more. But I could understand why Wrex would fall under scrutiny.

I had noticed that Kaidan hadn't come with us, probably because he had a migrane. But I was just fine with that, considering that I'd all but decided to let him die.

It was even worse because he seemed like someone I could have become friends with under other circumstances. If I got to know him more, it'd only make it harder in the end.

I forced myself to stop dwelling on it; this was supposed to be a relaxing night out. _Well, as relaxing as being surrounded by people from a video game can be. Still, better than being bored on the Normandy._

_Rule 32: enjoy the little things. Applies just as well to this as to a zombie apocalypse. _

Shepard's Omni-tool started beeping right as she got out, signifying an incoming call. I saw a slight look of distaste as she saw who it was.

"You guys go on ahead. I'll catch up."

"Something wrong Rap- I mean Shepard?" Liara asked.

"Probably not. But I don't want to ignore an official alliance channel." She looked pointedly at me. "And I can think of at least one reason why they might be calling."

_Meh, still worth it. Especially when she fell on her ass backpeddling. _

_(Or it could be the Admiral you all but told to go to hell.)_

"It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"The rest of you can go on ahead. We'll catch up." She motioned me over to the wall, away from prying eyes, and hit the button to answer.

"Commander Shepard? Sorry to bother you. This is Lt. Girand down in the docking bay."

_Wouldn't that actually be above us?_

I didn't listen all that closely because I recognized the name, and knew what was going on.

They'd discovered a woman who was taken as a slave in the batarian raid that had left Shepard an orphan. Said woman was currently in the docking bay, with a gun, and possibly suicidal. Girand was hoping Shepard might be able to talk her down.

I had to suppress a shiver at my knowledge of what had been done to her.

"I'm not sure I'm trained for this, but I'll see what I can do." She turned off the com and looked at me. "Did you catch all of that?"

"Yeah." I said, somewhat distracted still by my memories.

_(With you helping her, she's as good as dead already.) _Iron hissed scornfully before slithering back to his hiding place.

I ignored him, again more worried about the sane version. As we headed into the elevator, she certainly didn't seem eager to do this.

It didn't seem as severe as when Akuze had been brought up by the reporter- let alone when the thresher maw had attacked us- but it was bad enough in its own right.

I half opened my mouth to ask if she was ok, but I bit off the question before I could start. The answer was evident by the way her fists kept clenching and unclenching, and the way she kept her gaze on the ground, eyes not really focusing.

_This isn't going to be pretty, regardless of how it plays out._ I thought as the elevator doors opened.

It was still odd to see people saluting when they saw me- I knew they were really saluting Shepard in this case, but it was still disconcerting.

"Commander Shepard, good to meet you."

"I wish it were under better circumstances." She said flatly. "Where is she?"

"Over there behind those crates. I've got a sniper positioned, but I doubt we'll need him. She's only a danger to herself."

"What makes you say that?"

"She gets more wound up the closer we get, but she doesn't want to aim it our way. If we really get close, she points it at herself, not us."

She looked over with a sad expression on her face. "What the hell has she been through?" her voice was low enough that I had to strain to hear it, though the others simply seemed to miss it.

"We have a sedative to calm her down, but we can't get close enough to use it."

"What kind?"

"We have two types actually, a pill she can take herself, or a syringe we might be able to use if she won't."

She seemed to be trying to glare at him; I say trying because her heart was only half in it. "Give me the pill- though I hope I won't need it."

I opened my mouth to speak, but she spoke before I could. "Sit tight here Bourne. I'll handle this."

"Not that I doubt you can talk her down, but maybe a backup plan would be a good thing."

"We do have a backup plan." Girand interrupted, though he cut himself off as he got two sets of glowing eyes glaring in his direction.

"I meant a backup plan besides just killing her." I said angrily. "You said you had a syringe too?"

"Don't even think about it Bourne." Shepard said in a tone that would allow no argument.

"Believe me; I hate the idea as much as you do. So you've got a better idea, I'm willing to listen."

"I'm going to go talk her down, and you're going to stay here."

_(Seeing as I'm alternate version of her, here's my better idea: Listen to her, because she seems in a very punchy mood right now.)_

_)Yeah, I noticed.(_

"Alright, fine, we'll do it your way." I said, looking away in what I hoped she thought was defeat.

"Good. This won't take long."

I waited until she was out of earshot, before looking at Girand. "Give me the syringe."

"But she just said- how would you even get it to her?"

"I hope you don't have to find out." I said, putting my hand out.

He hesitated, but handed it over. "You don't think she can talk her down?"

"Frankly, I have no fucking idea." I said, walking to the edge of the platform. "But better safe than sorry."

I took a breath, then threw my legs over the edge, turning and catching myself on the ledge, using my biotics to make myself lighter as I inched over to where Shepard was. I tried tuning out what I heard, but without much success.

I felt a lot of things as I listened, but mostly rage. I did my best to just ignore it and be ready if I had to. I couldn't see Shepard from this angle, since I was mostly holding on with my fingers, and I was as low as I could get. But I could see the girl, and I'd be able to see if Shepard failed.

_Unless I lose my grip and go plummeting. Hopefully that doesn't happen._

_(You and I have different ideas of hope.)_

* * *

As Shepard rounded the corner and saw the girl there, gun aimed at her, it occurred to her for the first time that she wasn't wearing her armor.

"Stop, stop!" She sounded hysterical- not that Shepard could really blame her. "What are- what are you?!"

"My name is Shepard. Lt. Girard sent me to help you." She paused, glancing in that direction, hoping that they wouldn't be able to overhear her. "What's your name?"

"Animals don't get names. The masters put symbols on her, hot metal all over her body."

It was difficult not to wince at that. "What about your parents? Do you remember what they called you?"

"She remembers a lot of things." She answered in a whisper, slowly lowering the gun. "Talitha. They called her Talitha."

"What else do you remember about your parents?" Shepard gently asked.

"She…" her eyes took on a glazed appearance. "She sees them. Yelling, screaming, telling her to run. They're hitting the masters, but they have lights and hoses." She covered her face with her hands. "Daddy's… he's melting!" She yanked her hands away from her face, and seemed to be trying not to think about it. "She doesn't want to see that!"

Shepard didn't really want to think about it either, but she'd learned a long time ago that trying to forget it didn't help at all.

"I know it hurts Talitha, but you have to face it. Otherwise you'll never be able to move on."

"She doesn't get to move on, she's just an animal!" Now the gun was pointed at Shepard again. "You don't know anything! You weren't there!"

"I was there Talitha." Shepard said gently. "I was older than you were, but I was just as frightened as you were."

"Liar! You get beaten for lying!" The gun shook in her hands. "You get the burning, or the shocking!"

"It was morning, and I'd just woken up for school. I had a test that day that I'd been worried about for weeks." Shepard continued in the same tone.

Talitha's aim wavered, aiming more at her feet.

"I had just gone down stairs to get breakfast when I heard explosions, and smelled smoke. My father yelled at us to stay put while he ran outside, trying to figure out what was going on."

"The masters." The girl said simply, gun forgotten at her side. "They came from the skys in the big metal birds. They started rounding up the animals, putting them in pens, putting the metal in their brains. Some of them started hitting the masters, or running away. And the masters killed them."

Shepard nodded, taking a moment to try to control her breathing. Her heart rate was accelerated, enough so that her implants started projecting her HUD onto her eyes.

"She pretends to be dead. If she's dead, she can't work. But they know she's still alive." She looked at Shepard, wonder and fear mixed in that look.

"Is that why they didn't find you? Because you pretended better?"

Shepard took a breath, but it couldn't help her keep the emotion out of her voice. "I hid in the closet in my house, but I could see through a crack in the door. My brother tried to lead them away from me, but they just…executed him. I saw his head explode, and prayed they didn't hear me crying. They looked towards me, but they didn't find me. Then one of them took something from his belt and stuck it to the wall. Then they left."

She abruptly realized her hand was rubbing the scar above her eye, and yanked her hand down. "I thought I was safe, so I risked getting out of the closet. Then the grenade exploded, and half of the house came down on top of me."

She knew since then that there had to have been more grenades than one to destabilize a house like that. But the image that had been so firmly implanted in her mind was that single grenade blasting her back, sending shrapnel across her face, and knocking her to the ground. Then the roof caved in, and she was trapped.

"You were there… but you aren't broken." She sounded confused, completely out of it. Shepard risked taking a step closer. "Why aren't you broken like she is?

Shepard's head seemed to move of its own accord, turning so she wasn't meeting her eyes. "For a long time, I was broken. I was trapped in the rubble… they said it was 8 days. It felt like 8 years." She wasn't sure she was even talking to Talitha anymore. "All I could see what blackness. All I heard were screams of the dying. Then I heard nothing. I screamed, hoping someone would hear me, that anyone would hear me, that I wouldn't die there alone. Then my voice died, and I couldn't even whisper."

She forced herself to look back at Talitha. "I started seeing things that weren't there- my brother, my dad, my dog… I was delirious when they found me under the rubble. All I could see were black outlines against the bright."

She shook her head, trying to dispel the images. "How did you escape the masters Talitha? How did you get here?"

"She can't escape! The masters have wires, and needles. You go too far, they take your brains away. Animals like her come. Animals with guns. They make the masters explode." She covered her face with her hands again, and Shepard risked another step towards her. "She doesn't want the masters to be angry with her. She takes the reds and purples, and tries to put them back in. But it doesn't work. The other animals take her." She pointed her gun at Shepard again, though it seemed halfhearted. "She doesn't want to see other animals! They can't be real! You can't be real!"

"All you'd known for over a decade was violence and abuse. So you tried to heal them."

"They can't see her." She seemed to have forgotten Shepard was there. "If they can see her, it's real. She doesn't want it to be real."

Shepard risked another step towards her, right as Talitha's head snapped back to face her. "Why are you normal while she's just an animal?! Why can you stand up while she can't?" Her gun came again. "Why aren't you broken like she is?"

Shepard's eyes closed, but it wasn't darkness she saw. She saw the faint glow of her own eyes, the purple light bouncing off her eye lids. "For a long time, I was broken. I'd lost my family, my friends…I didn't even remember my own name anymore. It took me a year to be able to talk again, and another to be able move on, to stay strong and keep going."

"She isn't strong like you." The gun was shaking in her hand now. "She wishes she could be strong."

Shepard opened her mouth to say something, but she couldn't. All of a sudden, she was back in the hospital, trying to use a spoon but missing her mouth. She was on the floor, playing with blocks.

"She isn't like you." Talitha's voice brought her back to reality. "She can't be strong." Shepard realized with horror that she now had the gun pointed at her own head. "She just wants it to be over!"

Shepard reached towards her vainly, knowing it was too late.

A blue blur shot from the edge of the platform as the gun went off- harmless towards the ceiling, Talitha's arm held firmly in Bourne's grasp.

His other arm jabbed into her side, and for a wild moment Shepard thought it was a knife.

"No, she doesn't want the needles! She doesn't want to go back!"

"They aren't going to hurt you." He said, his voice even, but not what Shepard would call comforting. "You're going to go to sleep. And when you wake up, you'll be somewhere safe. Somewhere they can help you. Help you remember."

He pulled the Syringe out, and the girls eyes began to droop, her gun falling from nerveless fingers.

"It hurts when she…when I remember…me. But she wants to remember." She mumbled the last bit, going limp as Bourne caught her, slowly lowering her to the ground.

She waited until he was back up to slap him across the face, hard enough to make him stumble. "Why the hell did you do that?"

He didn't answer immediately, staring from the unconscious girl to the gun she'd dropped. "It was better than the alternative."

"How, because this way that last thing she'll remember is another needle?"

His head snapped to face her, eyes burning. "Would you have rather I stood by and let her splatter her brains across the floor?"

"I would have rather you just took her gun away from her, so I could let her make the choice for herself."

"What makes you think she would have taken the choice?" His eyes seemed to dim in the instant before he looked away. "I was right here Shepard, hanging off the side with my biotics. I heard the whole thing." He turned his face back to her, and though there was still no expression, it seemed to be an effort to keep it that way. "I don't think she would have taken the sedative even if you did offer it."

Shepard opened her mouth to say he was wrong, but deep down she knew he had a point. "There were still other ways!"

"Shepard, if there had actually been another way, I would have taken it! The only options were to act, or to stand by and let her die." He looked at the ground as his fists clenched. "Just because I did it, doesn't mean I liked doing it, or even wanted to do it. I'm probably never going to really forgive myself for doing it." He raised his eyes to meet Shepard's. "But I'd have been even less able to forgive myself if I'd just stood by and done nothing."

"You really think you helped her?" She had to force the anger into her tone.

"I don't know!" he said in exasperation and frustration. "All I know is that I did the best I could with what I had. That's all I could do, that's all I've ever been able to do! I'm not a hero like you are Shepard!"

She opened her mouth to say something, but he didn't give her the chance.

"You're Commander Shepard! The first Human Spectre, the one who's survived everything life's thrown at her, Idol to Billions! They made us both Spectres, but you were there, you were made a Spectre because you're the best of the best!" He turned his back on her, walking to the edge of the platform. "You want to know why they made me a Spectre? Because you told them too. And the reason I was there is because I've had a weird string of luck tossed in with responsibilities I never wanted. With powers I never wanted." He added, looking at his hands as they glowed blue. He turned to face her, composure gone, pure emotion painting his face. "I am here because of Pure. Chance." He bit off the words.

"You're here because I wanted you covering my back! Because I needed someone like you covering it!"

"Maybe you do! Maybe I am the best of the best! But that doesn't mean you and I are anything alike! You're the one who's got the perfect moral compass, who always seems to do what's right." His gaze flicked to the gun on the ground, and it flew into his outstretched hand. "You wouldn't compromise who you are no matter what happened. Me, I'd do it in a heartbeat if I had to. I wouldn't like it, but I'd do it. To save someone else's life, I'd do it in a heartbeat." He clenched his hand around the gun, biotics crushing it in his grip. "That's the difference between us."

He hurled it over the edge angrily, and stormed past her. She grabbed him by the back of the collar, stopping him dead- though not without effort.

"Shepard-" biotics blazed around his hands. "Let go."

"Bo- Jason, listen to me." She hadn't used his first name before, but it seemed more appropriate in this case. "Regardless of the method, you did just save her."

He laughed harshly, knocking her hand away. "I didn't save her- I just kept her from dying."

"You know that isn't true."

He spun around to face her. "Oh? I think your exacts words were 'do you really think you helped her?'"

"I mean that…you want to know another reason that I wanted you as my second? Because you don't listen to orders."

Confusion painted his face. That alone told Shepard how out of focus he was at the moment.

"I told you to wait for us before going after Fist- and you didn't. If you had, Tali would have died, and we would have never gotten her evidence. I told you to wait for me back there, and you didn't. If you had, she would have died."

"Yeah, because clearly it's a good thing that I never listen to my commanding officer." He muttered.

"Never isn't the right word. What I mean is that you listen to your gut too, even if it goes against my orders. I wanted you as a Spectre to protect you from the consequences of those actions. So you can operate with me, or separately. You're a damn good soldier, even if you don't realize it, and I'm not about to throw that away."

He laughed sardonically. "It might well have been better if you had."

His head whipped to the side as she slapped him again. "Will you stop talking nonsense?"

His eyes bored into hers. "As I recall, I've been pretty good about keeping my past hidden from you. So I don't think you've got any idea what you're talking about."

She crossed her arms, and smiled after a moment. "Last time I talked to you about it, you said something about getting to ask me something back. And since you just eavesdropped on my past quite a bit…"

His fists clenched, but his face was slowly forced back to its expressionless state. "Any topic in particular?" He said through gritted teeth.

She shook her head. "Bourne, if you don't really want to tell me, I won't force it. Not unless it's really important that I know."

He seemed to be having a discussion with himself, trying to decide if it was. "It might be, but…there's a reason I don't like to talk about it." He said finally. "Let's just say I was blind for a long time to what the Omegas really were. And when my eyes were opened...let's just say they regretted training me as much as they had."

She didn't reply, waiting to see if he'd say more.

He didn't, simply looking at the ground, fists still clenched.

"They were like a family to you, weren't they?" She asked gingerly.

"They'd raised me from pretty much day one." He glanced up at her. "I may have lied a bit about that one."

She grimaced slightly, but nodded in understanding.

"It's…difficult to explain. On the one hand, there were a couple of them that seemed to genuinely care for me, but to the others, I was just a weapon."

He paused, thinking, but Lt. Girand came over before they could say more. "My sniper just told me that you managed to get her sedated."

"That's one way to put it." Bourne muttered, getting an odd look from the Lt.

"Take care of her." Shepard said, making it half sound like an order. "She's been through a lot."

"Of course Commander." He said with a salute. "But…when I see her curled up in the corner, or twitching in fear because one of us looks at her…what are we doing out here if we can't protect one little girl?"

"Sometimes all you can do is get back up and keep fighting- hope that the good outweighs the bad." Bourne said, face more composed than before, but not quite its usual self.

"I suppose that's true." Girand said after a moment, glancing at him in confusion, apparently not recognizing him. "Thank you for your help." He moved past them to kneel by Talitha's unconscious form, radioing orders to his men.

"Come on, let's not keep the others waiting." Bourne said, walking towards the elevator. Shepard wanted to be mad, but couldn't. Not when it was evident that he probably regretted his actions more than she did.

"Jason…regardless of what you or anyone says, you're a goddamn hero in my book."

He didn't reply, he just slumped against the wall of the elevator, lost in thought.

Shepard didn't push him, just watching him out the corner of her eye. He was almost motionless, minus breathing, and occasionally twitching his hands.

"Have you ever done something like that?" He suddenly asked as they reached the rapid transit station. His voice was quiet and somewhat distracted.

"What do you mean?"

"Something that you knew was the only real choice, but you also knew was wrong?"

She thought a minute before replying. "I have, more times than I can count. It's part of being a leader- you have to make calls that others don't want to. And sometimes, you can't save everyone, so you have to save as many lives as you can."

He nodded absently as he got in the car.

Shepard got in next to him, a little worried. "Are you ok?"

He sighed. "I don't really know what "ok" is anymore. But I'll get over it. Somehow."

"With a lot of alcohol?"

He chuckled, despite himself. "Probably." His mirth faded a moment later. "I guess…doing that forced me to face parts of myself that I hadn't before." He shrugged. "I'll be fine by tomorrow."

His slight smile _seemed _genuine, but knowing how much facial control he had caused Shepard to be skeptical.

_Well, maybe Ashley will cheer him up when we get there._

She knew there were regs against fraternization for a reason, but unless it started to get in the way of the mission, she generally was willing to overlook it.

_Besides, as soon as I say anything about it, he'd probably just turn the subject to Liara and I…I should probably make sure neither of us gets too drunk for just that reason._

* * *

**Can I just say that while this is the chapter so far I'm most proud of, it's also the one I hated writing the most? I honestly half considered just making her earthborn instead just so I could skip that whole assignment.  
**

**Anyway, since nobody seems interested in twitter, I'm going to try facebook on instead. Link's in my profile page.**


	26. Wrong Place and Wrong Time

It was just as well that Shepard didn't try to talk to me about anything else on the way there; I couldn't put what I felt into words if I tried. Not without punching something- or someone- and probably with the biotics.

Even Iron could sense my mood, and was smart enough to stay quiet. _That, or he's off scheming again. At this point, I really don't care._

_(If you must know, I was combing through your memories about what you tended to do before heading to the second main mission.)_

_)Alright, I'll bite. Why?(_

_(Well, the more shit you do before heading to Feros or Noveria, the more shit I have to suffer through. At least with those places there's fighting to watch.)_

I felt a light tap on my arm, and nearly triggered my biotics before realizing Raptor was just telling me that we were there. I did my best to get my face to its normal emotionless state, knowing that even I wouldn't be able to fake any sort of smile.

Though as we walked in and I saw Ashley, my smile was genuine.

"About time you got here." Wrex said with a glance towards us. "These two were about ready to go looking for you." He gestured to Ashley and Liara. I noticed that they were between Wrex and Garrus on that side, while Tali and our two empty seats separated them the other way.

I wondered who'd made that decision- I knew that they'd earn each other's respect later, but for now they would see each other as all but mortal enemies.

"Glad to see you were so concerned too." I said in a deadpan as I sat down. "You guys already ordered?"

"Yeah, but the waitress should be by before too long with drinks." Ashley answered. "What kept you?"

"Long story."

Shepard and I exchanged looks. _I'm really getting tired of hearing myself in stereo._

I shrugged. "I can summarize it all in five words: I seriously need a drink." I leaned my head back, looking up at the ceiling. "Preferably Ryncol."

_(You know that's seven words, right?)_

_)Here's six more. Go to hell.(_

Wrex laughed. "You barely survived the last dose."

I glanced at him. "Last dose?"

"Well, the stuff on the knife wasn't quite Ryncol. It was the raw stuff you get before it's distilled enough to be drinkable. Doesn't work on Krogan, but on a Turian- or you- it tends to be pretty deadly."

_Not sure if he's joking, but probably shouldn't risk it. _I grimaced. "Screw it, I'll just ask for whatever the next most alcoholic thing is."

Raptor shook her head. "You've only had that liver a few days and you're already trying to ruin it?"

"No. I'm trying to get drunk."

_(Right, because losing all your inhibitions when you're already on edge from keeping secrets makes perfect sense.)_

"Well, here's the waitress now." Raptor said, nodding her head. As she walked closer, I felt a surge of recognition. She was smiling, but it was clearly forced.

I realized that it was Rita, the girl whose sister was currently an informant for Chora's Den. I forced the thought away, promising myself I'd deal with it later. For now, I just wanted to forget everything ahead of me- and no smart part of what was behind me.

She placed the others drinks on the tables; Wrex had ordered Ryncol- not that I was surprised- Ash had beer, and Liara had some type of asari wine.

I had no idea what Garrus had, considering that if I were to drink it I'd probably end up in the hospital and it certainly wasn't something I'd seen before. All I knew was that it was green, and looked like it was glowing a bit.

Tali had a silver pouch of something that hooked up to her mask, and I couldn't tell if it was actually a drink, food, or both.

"And for you sir?" The waitress asked me.

"What's the strongest drink you can legally serve a human here?"

She blinked, apparently surprised by the surprised by the question. "I guess you'd want our Black Death cocktail."

"Sounds perfect."

"Well, you'll have to sign a waiver before we can serve it to you. It's-"

"I'll take two of them then."

The looks I got would have been priceless if I'd been able to enjoy them. As it was, I was trying not to think about the people giving me those looks.

Wrex, destined to either lead the Krogan to glory, or to die at Shepard's hand.

Liara, destined to help Ceberus recover Shepard's body, and then spend years hunting for the being she'd eventually take the role of.

Garrus, Archangel, who'd be scarred for life, who might die in the middle of the collector base.

Tali, who might be exiled, who might watch her entire race die in front of her.

I forced myself not to dwell on the fates of Ashley or Shepard, though it was difficult. I glanced over at the latter, feeling a sense of kinship. She and I were the only ones there who were more than just puppets to the will of the universe.

_Or maybe we both are puppets, and I'm just able to see the strings._

My hopes for tonight had gone from drinks with Ashley, to hanging out with friend and colleagues, to just trying to get drunk enough that my brain stopped torturing me.

I didn't pay attention to the conversation, figuring I could just pick it up later if my mood somehow improved.

The waitress came back, bringing Shepard and I our drinks and menus. I barely looked at the waiver before scratching out my name and downing half of the first drink in one go.

_(You know, it's not healthy to self-medicate with alcohol.)_

_)I'm not. I'm getting drunk. Or possibly shitfaced, if I can get enough of these.(_

_(You know, if poison and Chakwas's drugs barely worked on you, what makes you think alcohol will?)_

_)…I hate you.(_

_(Why exactly did you think I pointed it out? Hehehehe.) _He faded away again.

I grimaced and chugged the rest of the first drink.

"You might want to slow down on those things." Garrus commented. "Because I'm not going to be the one holding your head over a toilet if it starts coming back up."

"Oh shuat uop." I said, deliberately slurring my words- a little too convincingly.

Shepard took one look at me, and grabbed my other cocktail, moving it out of my reach. "And I'm not going to be sympathetic when you're hungover tomorrow."

"And before you try to be clever and grab it with your biotics while that stuff is in your system, consider if you still want both arms working tomorrow." Wrex added.

_Yeah, no kidding. …if I can still realize that's a bad idea, I'm not as drunk as I want to be. _

I sighed and grabbed the glass of water in front of me, taking a few large gulps. I glanced at the menu- which was all one datapad, and picked it up to look it over.

_Varren Burger? Huh, maybe that'd be worth trying._

I wasn't really hungry, but even if I didn't have the normal metabolism of a biotic, I needed to eat. And part of me was curious to see what was actually available in the future.

"I said a triple you stupid human!"

It wasn't the words themselves, nor the tone that got my attention. It wasn't even the volume, because it was actually a normal speaking voice, and without the gene mods I knew I wouldn't have been able to hear it.

It was the way the voice seemed slightly distorted, and my eyes darted in that direction as I placed it.

_I thought Batarians avoided the Citadel._ This guy was the first I'd seen here, as well as being the first blue sun merc I'd laid eyes on.

I had to fight to keep my hand from clenching, considering the events of earlier. I couldn't blame some random Batarian for the actions of his entire race. Besides which, I knew that most citizens never left the home world thanks to their ultra-controlling government. _Of course, those that do tend to be mercs or worse, and that's clearly blue suns armor. _

I took a deep breath and moved my eyes back to the menu. Even if he was a mercenary, I couldn't just go over there and kick his ass because he was being an asshole. I knew half the reason I wanted to was the alcohol in my system.

For a few minutes, I just sipped at my water, knowing that it would make me less likely to want to die the next morning. I also knew it might make it easier to convince Shepard to give me the other one, because my head was already starting to clear. It was looking like Iron was right about my system being resistant to any sort of chemicals.

"This is the wrong thing again!" The volume hadn't gone up, but the amount of anger in his voice had. I glanced over again, and saw him talking to a waitress at the bar- not the same one that had served us, but also human, and plainly terrified.

"I'm sorry sir, we've just hired a new employe-" her words turned into a loud screech as he pulled her over the counter and onto the floor.

The screech drew everyone's eyes to her, and I noticed that Shepard, Ashley and Garrus all had hands near their pistols. A moment later, I realize my own hand had slid into my pocket, half wrapped around my new S-17.

"DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEONE WHO WANTS EXCUSES!?"

I smiled slightly as my eyes blazed. _No, you look like someone who picked the wrong time and place to be an idiot. _

* * *

Tali sighed freely behind her mask, the external speakers off for the moment. She knew that they'd planned this to 'cheer her up' but she was more bored than anything.

She took another sip of the sterilized Turian soup, wondering if anyone besides Garrus even knew it wasn't alcoholic.

She didn't really like drinking, and on the Flotilla alcohol was typically saved for rare occasions anyway. Not to mention the lectures her father had given her about not clouding her mind with it.

She would have guessed Bourne felt similar, until he ordered something that apparently should have left him already unconscious, according to the part of the waiver her suit had translated before the Waitress removed it.

He was still eyeing the other drink in between scrolling through the menu, though Tali didn't know if he was even aware of it.

He certainly wasn't paying attention to the conversation, as he was the only other person that didn't laugh at Garrus' description of a gang he'd raided.

The conversation had been a bit forced before the Two Spectres had shown up, but now Garrus was in full swing, talking about past missions.

Wrex kept interrupting to say either how C-sec had messed up, or the gang had, with Shepard often chiming in with counter points or support. Williams chimed in occasionally as well, but mostly she seemed to be trying to look at Bourne without being obvious about it.

Tali's mask meant she could look at him without worrying about anyone noticing. His face was totally unreadable, and he was utterly silent as he looked at the datapad. But by the way his shoulders were set, he seemed weighed down by something.

_Is that what I've looked like for the past few days? _She'd initially been completely convinced that what had happened had been her fault, but she wasn't as sure anymore.

Bourne had given her the order to use the laser, and Shepard could have overridden if she'd thought it was a bad idea.

The gate was definitely her fault, but Bourne didn't seem to bear any ill will towards her about either event. She'd at least stopped wallowing in guilt about it, more trying to resolve to do better in the future.

_In fact, he seemed to be more irritated when people treated me as second class, than he when I opened the gate and let the turrets at him._

He hadn't said much of anything about his past, but she privately wondered why he'd feel that way. She wasn't going to pry though, not when he was one of the few people that always treated her as an equal, despite being quarian.

He suddenly tensed up, and she thought he'd noticed her scrutiny, but his eyes flicked towards the bar instead.

She turned to look herself, and thought she understood why he'd reacted. A batarian was sitting there, clad in what she recognized in the armor of the blue suns.

After a moment, his eyes went back to his menu. She turned back to the conversation, still somewhat worried about the batarian. But since nobody else seemed to think he was a threat…_then again, some of them have fought Krogan without flinching, so perhaps I should still be on my guard._

She considered asking to see the menu when he was done with it. She knew she wouldn't be able to eat anything on it, but she was curious to see what humans actually ate.

"So I've got this last member cornered, and he's got a gun aimed at us- mostly at me. And he says "If you come any closer, I turn you into a pile of ash.'" Garrus said, pointing his finger for emphasis, hand wobbling in the air. Tali wondered if she'd be the only one able to walk straight at the end of the night.

"I take it you-" Ashley stopped and covered her mouth, letting out an odd sound. "-put a bullet in his head first?"

The Turian shook his head. "Not quite. What happened was I walked towards him, and he started trying to pull the trigger- try being the key word."

"Overheated?" Shepard guessed.

"Sabotage tech?" Wrex put in.

"Actually, in his scramble to get away, and get whatever gun he could, turned out he'd grabbed one from a weapon bench that his buddy'd been working on. The trigger wasn't actually hooked up to anything."

"And you knew that…how?" Shepard asked.

"I was guessing, actually. But I also had just gotten word one of my guys was in position to put a bullet in his head if he tried anything."

"Why didn't you just take him down?" Ashley questioned.

"My orders were to try to take at least one alive for questioning, so we could hit some of their other-"

A shriek from the counter cut him off and drew everyone's eyes. The batarian Tali had seen before had a woman on the ground, screaming at her.

"DO I LOOK LIKE A MAN WHO WANTS EXCUSES?"

His leg flew into her stomach, and she doubled over in pain. Tali's hand snaked towards her pistol, and she noticed most of the others there had the same idea.

She glanced over at the human bouncer, but he seemed hesitant to engage the obviously drunk and raging merc.

She looked back, drawing her pistol, but someone else moved into view, blocking her shot.

"Hey man, liver alone, she didn't da nutin to ya." Tali's head instantly flicked to Bourne's seat- which was now empty. Even in his current state, he'd been utterly silent when moving.

"Stay out of this human, and maybe I'll let you live." The batarian stated.

The Spectre wasn't fazed, which wasn't surprising considering the amount of alcohol in his system. "Na, how's bout you stay out of this, and maybe I let me live. How about tat?"

He laughed in Bourne's face. "You're just drunk enough for me to let live. But you're also sober enough for me to hurt you."

Anyone could see his punch coming a mile away, and Bourne managed to stagger to the side. "I might be drunk, but you're ugly. And tomorrow, I'll be hungover enough to forget you were so ugly."

Bourne jumped back as he swung again, and seemed to just barely keep his balance.

"Shepard?" She questioned, and realized the Commander and Garrus had their pistols put away.

"Let Bourne handle this." She answered a small smile on her lips.

_Is she drunk too?_

"Izzat the best you gut?" The biotic slurred.

"I'm going to show you the meaning of pain!" A knife appeared in the mercs hand out of nowhere, and it flew towards Bourne's face.

* * *

I decided that now was a good time to drop the act, and I grabbed his wrist as it came towards me, redirecting the blade so it missed and leaving him off balance. I swept his leg out from under him and he landed in a heap, dropping the knife.

I kicked it out of his range as he tried to get back up. He looked up at me to glare, only to find my new Assassin pointed right at his face. _Looks like Iron was right about me not being easily affected by alcohol._

"I'm sorry, what was that about you 'letting' me live?" I asked, dropping the fake slur. I'd heard Shepard to say to let me handle this, so it looked like she at least hadn't been fooled. But it had worked on him, which was what I really cared about.

His eyes were all pointed at my pistol- a human going cross-eyed looked odd, but it was even weirder with 4 of them. "You wouldn't be so tough without that gun."

I cocked my head to the left, smiling as I did so. It was nearly the Batarian equivalent of shooting the bird. "I can think of at least 8 ways to kill you without it, and twice as many ways to make you wish you were dead."

"Your idle threats don't-"

I cut him off with a swift kick to the side of the head, knocking him to the ground again. "I don't make idle threats. Now, you have exactly two options. You walk out calmly, or you get carried out in a body bag."

He looked up at me, and one set of eyes flicked to my right. I figured it was a trick, and didn't bother looking.

The slight motion in the corner of my own proved me wrong, and I was knocked to the ground a few feet away from the Batarian, biotics surrounding me that weren't my own. When I was able to get to my knees, I looked up to see him threatening me with my own pistol.

"You know, I should thank you for threatening me. Because now this counts as self-defense."

This time it was me who got kicked in the head and knocked to the ground. He aimed the gun right between my eyes as I got back to my knees.

His Krogan friend also had out a shotgun, as did a few more of his Blue Suns friends- two Turians and a human.

I saw his knife on the ground nearby, and a plan started forming in my mind.

"Any last words?"

I managed a smile. "How exactly do you plan on shooting me while the safety is on?" My vocal control wasn't quite on par with my facial muscles, but he was drunk enough that it didn't matter.

"What are you talking about?" He brought the gun up so he could look at it more closely.

I activated my biotics and pulled the knife into my hand ; he looked back down in time for me to thrust it into his kneecap, and he fell to the ground as his leg gave out, my gun falling from his hand.

I rolled to the side as the Krogan fired, surrounding myself with a barrier and retrieving my pistol. Wrex had been lucky I'd stuck to just two shots- four were enough to take down the Krogan's shields and blow his head clean open, sending bits of skull and brain matter across the floor.

It also overheated my gun, so I settled for lifting the other two into the air, maybe 10 feet, and then letting them drop. It knocked the wind out of them, and I yanked their guns away from them.

"Do yourselves a favor, and stay down."

Something hit me right in the side, and I felt it pressing against my stitched knife wound.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the original batarian, now holding a gun of his own and holding it to my side at point blank range. I grabbed it with my free hand as he fired, yanking it down so it only hit the ground- though it was more due to luck than anything.

I kicked him in the knee I'd stabbed, and he yelled with pain as the knife was driven deeper. He stumbled back against the counter, clearly favoring his good knee, and I took the opportunity to yank his pistol from his grasp, then turned it so he had two guns aimed at his head. "Hospital or Morgue. Your choice."

"Hospital! Hospital!"

_(No, Kill him. Prove you have what it takes!) _Even by his standards, Iron sounded insane. _(He doesn't deserve to live!)_

I looked at the terrified merc and slid my Assassin back into my pocket. "Smart choice."

_(No, no, kill him!)_

I switched his gun to my right hand and pushed it against his good knee.

_(Yes, yes! Cripple him, than kill him!)_

I saw his eyes widen- all four of them.

"Now, I'm a fair guy. So if you can limp out of here-" I yanked the knife out of his knee with my other hand, making him yelp, and forcing him to put a hand on the bar to support himself. "-Before I finish counting to ten, I'll let you keep the good leg. If you're still here though- well, you know, I might just miss and hit you somewhere else."

I shifted my gun slightly, and he seemed to pale as he realized it was pointed at his crotch. "You're insane!"

"Ten. Nine. "

He pushed off from the bar and started towards the door, half limping and half running.

I turned to his friends, just getting back to their feet, all three of them also holding a knife.

"Don't tell me you're seriously stupid enough to-" I threw myself to the side as they each threw their knives. I knew that without the gene mods to enhance my reaction time, they'd have all gone through my head. _Guess they are._

I crushed the pistol in my hand with my biotics, and threw it at the nearer Turian's head- hard. He collapsed to the ground in a heap.

I raised my hands, fists clenched. "Looks like we're doing things the old fashioned way."

The human tried to rush me, but I just caught his wrists and slammed my forehead into his nose. Blood started gushing, and his eyes began to water. I followed it up with a knee to the crotch, and then boxed his ears.

He fell to his knees and I kicked him in the head to finish him off.

The turian was smarter, holding back after seeing what I was capable of; he started circling around me, probably trying to get to his knife.

But he wasn't smart enough to consider my biotics. I just threw him against a wall, and he slumped to the ground, out cold.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw two other guys in Blue Suns armor getting up from their table.

I turned my head to look at them, eyes glowing, and they hurriedly sat back down.

I motioned to those I'd dealt with. "Get them out of here. And don't come back for a while if you know what's good for you."

They exchanged looks before slowly getting up and walking over to their friends- the whole time they had their empty palms facing me. I kept my guard up for a moment, but relaxed when I saw the way they were looking at me- terrified. There was no way they'd be stupid enough to try anything.

I looked at the corpse of the Krogan I'd killed. I clenched my fist, and it slowly rose into the air. I threw it down the stairs and it landed near the door. "And take that with you when you leave."

They looked at me in disbelief, but hurriedly looked away when my eyes met theirs. I still retrieved the knives their friends had been carrying earlier though, examining them for a moment. They looked like bigger and longer versions of my throwing knives. I shoved them in my pocket as I saw them dragging their friends down the stairs.

I nodded in satisfaction and turned back to where Shepard and the others were sitting. Without exception, each and every person sitting at that table was looking at me in some combination of shock, awe, and a tiny bit of fear.

"What? Is there something in my teeth?" I asked with a chuckle as I sat down.

Raptor shook her head. "I think we're more trying to figure out if you were drunk when you did that, or"

"Why do you think I wanted such a strong drink? I've got a high resistance to the stuff. I was barely even buzzed by the time that guy decided he needed his ass kicked."

"Pretending to be wasted was a nice touch." Garrus commented, and it was pretty clear he wasn't pretending.

I shrugged and picked my menu back up. _That actually worked up an appetite._

_(You are pathetic. You had him dead to rights, nobody would have complained if you killed him, and you let him go with a threat and a limp that it won't take modern medicine an hour to fix. If you'd had any-)_

_)Christ, do you ever shut up?( _I grabbed my remaining drink and chugged it down.

Wiping my mouth, I asked, _"_So, Garrus, what were you saying before he interrupted?"

"Actually-"I had no idea what the sound he made was, but it sounded like the turian equivalent to a hiccup. "I don't really remember."

I glanced at the several empty glasses in front of him, and the mostly full one he was reaching for. I pulled it towards me as he did so, and his talons closed around empty air. "I think you've had enough for the night."

This time, I was able to enjoy the looks my comment garnered me.

_Wonder if turian alcohol would be able to get me drunk?_

_(It'd probably just kill you. Note that I'm not discouraging you from drinking it.)_

_)Yeah, I think I'll stick with beer for the night.(_

"Well, at least I'm not worried about you moping around now." Raptor commented.

"Why would he be?" Ashley asked, then covered her mouth as she hiccupped.

" I'll tell you later." I said as two waitress slowly approached our table, one looking at me like I was nuts, the other looking at me with relief- the latter apparently being the one the Batarian had attacked.

They set what looked like a very expensive drink in front of me. "Here. This is on the house."

I looked at it, and shook my head. "Thanks, but I think I'm going to switch to something lighter." I pushed it towards Shepard.

She glanced at it and shrugged. "I'll take it, but I'm surprised you're not ordering a few more of those cocktails."

"Someone has to be sober enough to drag you all back to the ship." A thought came to me, and I grinned as she raised the glass to her lips. "Or take video if you start making out with Liara."

She spit the drink out on the table, coughing. "I'm switching to water too."

* * *

**And, that'll do it for this chapter.**

**I'll be announcing something pretty big in the next few weeks, but only on Facebook and Twitter.  
**

**Of course, I hope to be closer to the end of this story when I announce it, and right now I've barely started Feros. But it's also becoming easier to redo things, so who knows?**

**Anyway, see you later. **


	27. Is That Creepy?

Shepard let out a groan as she slowly sat up, covering her eyes as the lights sensed motion and turned on.

_Ugh, so much for switching to water. _ She slowly let her eyes adjust, though she still ended up half squinting as she looked around Anderson's cabin.

_My cabin, _she reminded herself firmly. She'd yet to really get used to having her own cabin; she'd been in the military for ages, mostly on ships, and until being put in command of the Normandy had just used sleeper pods like most of the crew.

She went over to the small bathroom and splashed water into her face. She looked in the mirror, and her eyes were completely bloodshot.

She managed to get into her normal fatigues, though the room was half spinning. She knew Chakwas had a special cocktail to deal with hangovers, but didn't want to have to ask her for it unless she had to- too embarrassing.

She stepped out into the mess hall, and judging by the look on her team's faces, they were regretting last night every bit as much as her.

The only two who looked in better condition were Tali and Kaidan- though they looked like they weren't feeling great either.

Bourne and Wrex were nowhere to be seen, and as she got closer, she wondered if that was why they were the current topic of the conversation.

"They're both biotics, but Jason seems to be a lot better with them." Ashley said hotly.

"Wrex has at least 20 times as much experience as Bourne does." Garrus responded in kind.

She grabbed a ration pack, and sat down next to Liara, half hoping that they hadn't done anything they'd regret later, and knowing Bourne would tell them if they had.

"You're arguing about which of them would win in a fight?"

"They've been talking about it for almost an hour." Kaidan answered. "Ever since Wrex asked me if I thought I'd be able to take you in a fight."

"How's his head holding up? Or Bourne's for that matter?"

"Between the organ redundancy and gene mods, they're in good enough shape they decided to hit the shooting range. Which prompted the conversation in the first place."

"So did the fact that Bourne shot at Wrex yesterday." Tali added.

"See, that right there says that Bourne's unstable." Garrus said. "Who in their right mind shoots at a Krogan just to prove a point?"

"You said his gun took down Wrex's shield in two shots?" Ashley questioned Tali, who answered with a nod.

"Then he could just pull the trigger a couple more times, and Wrex would be as dead as the merc from last night."

"He had the advantage of surprise. Remove that, and he'd have as little chance at beating him as a fly would."

Shepard smirked. "You know he's standing right behind you?"

Garrus's head whipped around, causing the rest of the table to laugh. Shepard winced slightly at the noise, but it was worth it.

"Very funny Shepard." He said sarcastically as he turned back.

"See, the second Wrex lost sight of him- and Jason can run pretty fast- he'd have the element of surprise on his side all over again." Ashley said.

"Which wouldn't do much against someone who can regenerate from almost anything you throw at him."

"Well Garrus, warp fields are one of the few things that can disrupt that ability." Kaidan pointed out. "And I'm pretty sure Bourne knows how to use those."

"He does." Raptor said, remembering a few instances where he'd used it. "And here's two other things to consider- he managed to take out that battlemaster back on Therum."

"You're leaving out the part where he almost died in the process." Garrus said smugly.

"That's more due to equipment than skill." Ashley pointed out. "If it had been a normal knife, he would have been hurt, but not that much."

"He got lucky." Garrus said with a shrug.

"I said I had two things to consider?" Shepard said, getting their attention. "You forget his greatest weapon. His mouth. He starts talking, Wrex might just shoot himself so he doesn't have to keep listening."

"Really? I think he'd just be that much more motivated to shoot me." She jumped as she heard a voice directly behind her.

She looked at Kaidan and Garrus, the only one on the other side of the table "There a reason you didn't feel like telling us he was there?"

"Well, you didn't ask." Bourne said as he walked around to sit across from her. "By the way, 2 billion hits so far. I didn't think a video could get that many so fast, but you were in rare form last night."

She froze, trying to replay the previous night over in her mind. She remembered getting into a shot contest with Ashley, but after that everything became a blur. She had to fight not to look at Liara, but her face still went red.

She suddenly noticed the way Bourne's shoulders were shaking, and realized he was trying to keep from laughing. A moment later he lost it entirely, the sound not helping her head. "Oh man, you should have seen your face!"

"Very funny." She said, kicking him under the table, though it didn't seem to have much effect.

"Yeah, but I had you going for a moment there, didn't I?" He said as he regained control of himself. "I've got to wonder though, what exactly did you think-"

"Will you shut up?" She snapped. "I already felt like my head was going to split open before you started talking to me."

He rolled his eyes. "You might want to talk to Chakwas about that then."

"I don't need to see a doctor for a hangover cure." She said, crossing her arms.

"Riiiiight. Because you're clearly in the right state of mind to be making a decision like that." He said sarcastically.

"Maybe I'll hit the treadmill for a bit. A bit of mild exercise. You know, sweat out the alcohol, rehydrate during it."

"Makes sense." He said with a shrug. "We do have a few things to take care of that I'd rather have you clearheaded for."

"Such as?"

He hesitated for the briefest of moments, but Shepard caught it. "Well, I confirmed that those marines we found on Edolous were Admiral Kohoku's men. And he's been trying to find out what happened to them."

Shepard couldn't hold back a grimace and shudder.

"I don't think either one of us wants to break the news to him solo."

"Agreed." She said with a shake of her head, regretting it a moment later. "Just give me an hour or two, and I'll be ready to go."

"If you say so." He answered with a smirk.

* * *

For the first time, I was glad Iron had been right about something, namely the fact that alcohol didn't affect me. I was pretty sure a hangover combined with having to deal with him would literally drive me insane.

_(No, see, that'd only drive you partway there. You'd have to add in something else to finish the job. Like maybe if you had to kill someone who saved your life…oh, wait, that's going to happen anyway.)_

I pointedly shot the last hologram in the crotch. I'd been tempted to program them with his face, but it looked too much like mine for that to not weird me out. I just settled with shaved heads and glowing red eyes instead.

Raptor's voice was suddenly in my ear. "Alright, I'm good to go now."

"Decided to talk to Chakwas after all?" I smirked as a thought hit me. "Or did you engage in some 'mild exercise' with Liara?"

The line went silent, and I had to check to see if it was still on. "Hello? Normandy to Shepard, do you read?"

"Just get up here so we can get this over with."

_(That wasn't really an answer…you think she really was with-)_

_)There are some things you want to avoid finding out about people you work with.(_

_(Meh, good point.)_

_)…we're both thinking about it now, aren't we? (_

_(You're the one who brought it up!)_

I shoved him away as I walked through the halls to the elevator. As I got to the cargo bay, I saw Ashley suiting up, and I got a slight grin as I walked over quickly but silently.

"You going somewhere Miss Williams?" I asked, making her jump as she spun around.

"To the hospital maybe. To visit you if you keep doing that."

I chuckled. "I take it you're coming along today?"

"Yeah. I finally just bit the bullet and got that hangover cure from Chakwas." Judging the look on her face, it hadn't been a pleasant experience.

"So the caveat to not feeling like death itself was that Shepard's making you come along?"

"Actually, I volunteered." Her face darkened slightly. "I was there when we found them, so…"

"I know what you mean." I nodded my head to the elevator. "Let's not keep Shepard waiting."

"Any idea who else she's bringing?" She asked, tugging on her boots.

"She didn't say. Maybe Liara or Tali, since they're the only two that didn't get completely wasted last night."

"I thought Wrex was down on the range earlier." She questioned.

"Yeah, but it's Wrex. He's in good enough shape to kill something, not deal with running errands."

She shrugged as she threw her weapons onto her back. "Good point."

I leaned against the door as the elevator started moving.

"So, last night didn't quite go as planned." She commented, apparently just trying to fill the silence.

"Yeah, that's one way to put it." I chuckled. "It went from you and me, to the whole team, to me fighting a group of mercenaries…not that it wasn't fun, but it wasn't the type of fun I'd had in mind."

"You know, we still have a few more days of shore leave." She said suggestively.

"I don't suppose you've got any ideas on what do with that time?" I answered back in the same tone.

I didn't know it was possible to gag without having a real throat, but Iron somehow managed.

_)Oh shut up.(_

"Hmm, I could tell you, but that might ruin the surprise." She teased.

"Well, glad I have something to look forward to once I'm off duty then." I said with a chuckle.

"You mean other than just hitting the range some more?"

"Maybe I only use that as a cover but really just read poetry when nobody's around." I joked.

"I can't see you reading poetry."

_Huh, would it be creepy to recite one of her favorite pieces, since I know what they are?_

_(Are you actually asking me for advice, or was that a rhetorical question?)_

_)Dude, I'd ask __Sovereign __for romantic advice before I asked you.(_

"Well, I can read it in my head, but as far as reciting it goes…let's just say I I'm glad I didn't try to make it as a stage actor or something."

"I don't know, you do a great job of being expressive with your emotions."

"…that was sarcasm, right?" I said, keeping my face as blank as I could, the door opening before she could reply.

Garrus was standing there, apparently waiting to go down. He took in our armor and gear in a glance. "You really think you need all that just to talk to an admiral?"

"This coming from the guy who's wearing armor when he works on the Mako." I replied as I walked past him up the stairs. Ashley was only a few steps behind me. "So, bets on who else it'll be?"

"Well, we know it's not Garrus, and Alenko looked pretty out of it this morning- probably an L2 flare up. I'd put my money on her bringing Tali, since she's the only other person with any tech abilities."

"That'd make sense." She agreed.

Instead, it was Liara that was waiting at the airlock with her- though this time she was only carrying a pistol.

"About time you got here." Shepard said. I couldn't tell if she was just still feeling hungover, or if she was pissed about the 'mild exercise' comment.

"Blame the elevator." I said with a shrug. "Seriously, get Garrus to work on that."

She rolled her eyes. "Let's go. I want to hit the markets on the way, see if we can find some better equipment."

_Yeah, that figures. _"What, was that sniper rifle the Req officer got you not overpowered enough?"

"It's good, but I'm more thinking armor. That knife went straight through yours."

"It was a Krogan Shepard. I'd be more amazed if the armor were still intact after that. And since someone patched it up for me-"

"Think of it as an early birthday present." Ashley said with a chuckle.

"I would, if I knew exactly when that was." I said with a chuckle. "Let's just call it tomorrow so we can celebrate at Flux or something."

Shepard shook her head, but didn't comment. Probably because she thought I had several lines ready in response. _Unfortunately, I only have the one._

"I also need to get Liara a better pistol. Speaking of which, think you can give me a hand teaching how to use some other weapons?"

I thought about it a moment, then shrugged. "I don't know how good a teacher I am, but I'll give it a shot. No pun intended." I smirked. "I just hope it won't feel like I'm a third wheel."

Ashley rolled her eyes, while Shepard's face went crimson red. "Bourne, if you're smart, you'll shut up now."

"When have I ever claimed to be smart? So, would it be Raptor T'soni, or Liara Shep-"

She cut me off by slugging me in the shoulder, hard enough to feel through the armor and make me take a few steps back.

"Geez, do you practice doing that?"

"If you don't shut up, I might have to start."

* * *

_Yeah, that's going to be bruised. _I thought as we walked through the markets, stopping occasionally when something caught Shepard's eye. _How is it even possible for her to do that?_

"You know Bourne, you could probably handle heavy armor." She said, looking at a set the same color as Wrex's. _And Iron's _I thought with a barely concealed grimace.

"See what's available for you guys first." I said.

"Your armor's already being held together by a patch job- no offense Ashley- so maybe it's something you should be worrying about."

I grimaced. "Alright, but not heavy armor. It'd slow me down too much." _I don't know exactly how that whole ME3 weight system transfers to now, but no sense taking chances. And I'm like half vanguard half adept, not a soldier, so probably better not to risk it. _

"Aren't you genetically engineered?" She asked rhetorically. "I guess it's a moot point anyway. Don't have enough to afford a decent set, so we're stuck with what we have." She shrugged. "Least I got a new license for the Normandy req officer. Maybe he'll find something good."

"Yeah, but can I put point how long it took to get these knife systems to work with this set of armor? For all I know, better shields or thicker plating on the arms might throw something off and turn them into knife launchers. And while that'd be cool, I've already got guns that're a lot more accurate."

"Between Garrus and Tali, I think you'd be in good hands."

"Like you said, moot point anyway. Let's figure out where this guy is."

Shepard's face darkened. "He's at the Citadel tower, trying to find out what happened to them. I looked into it before we left."

"You sure you're up for this?" I asked quietly.

"No. But I've got to start some time." She answered as she dialed up the rapid transit cab.

* * *

The Admiral was apparently arguing with someone through a console as we walked towards him.

_(You're going to get him killed, you're going to get him killed.) _Iron said in singsong.

I had to fight a grimace, knowing he was right. By telling him about the squad, I was all but signing his death warrant. _)Cerberus will be the ones who murder him, not me.(_

_(I never said anything about murder. His death will just happen to come about as a result of an action you choose to take, knowing full well the consequences…what is that called? Manslaughter? No, no, that's when it's an accident.)_

I pushed him away as Kohoku turned towards us, clearly recognizing Shepard.

"Commander Shepard. You've been rather busy lately."

_That's one way to put it._

"Congratulations on becoming the first human Spectre." He glanced at me. "This must be Lt. Jason Bourne?"

"Finally, someone who says that without sounding like a jackass." I muttered with a shake of the head.

"Is there something you need Commander? I'm a bit busy right now. Damn bureaucrats keep stonewalling me."

"You're trying to find out what happened to your missing marines?" I asked bluntly, trying to get to the chase.

"Do you know something?"

Shepard nodded. "I hate to be the one to tell you this Admiral, but your marines were killed by a thresher maw."

"A…a Thresher Maw? That's not- My men wouldn't just stumble-"

"No, they wouldn't." I cut him off. "Somebody placed a distress beacon right in the middle of the nest. When they responded to it…well, it wasn't pretty, I'll leave it at that."

Shepard looked a little pale, which was why I'd cut him off before he could finish, and essentially rehash exactly what'd happened to her unit.

"I've had a bad feeling ever since they disappeared." Kohoku muttered darkly. "An alliance beacon used as bait, my entire unit wiped out, and nobody seems to know anything."

"Seems a bit too coincidental." I commented, perhaps a bit too quickly.

"Indeed. I appreciate what you've done, both of you. Now I need to my part. The families of those marines deserve to know why they died."

Ashley cleared her throat. "We managed to convert the distress beacon into a warning, if you want to risk sending anyone to retrieve their bodies."

"Is there anything we can do to help?" Shepard asked, voice strained from the effort of keeping it emotionless.

"Not right now. But I'll let you know if I find out anything more."

I made myself watch him as he walked away. I might not be the one to pull the trigger, but Iron was right: I was the reason he'd die.

Shepard's omni-tool suddenly went off, signaling an incoming call. "Go ahead Joker."

"We've got an encrypted signal hailing the Normandy. You want me to forward it to you?"

"Can you tell who it is?" She asked.

"Negative. I can tell you it isn't alliance but…what's that? Hang on a second Commander." The line went silent for a few moments. "One of the tech guys says it's coming from the citadel, but it's being routed all over the place, no way to tell where it's coming from."

She glanced at me. "What do you think?"

"Might be worth hearing." I said neutrally, trying to think of who it could be..

The Omni-tool was silent a moment, then a message came across. "Commander Shepard, my name is Nassana Dantius. I have a…proposition for you. I can't say more over a com channel, even an encrypted one. If you want to know more, meet at the ambassadors' lounge on the presidium."

I didn't suppress my look of distaste, since I'd made my thoughts on politicians pretty clear. _This one just happens to want us to kill her sister, before moving to Illium and eventually meeting a certain Drell Assassin._

"That might be interesting." Shepard commented.

"If it's all the same to you Commander, I think I better sit that conversation out."

"You're going to have to deal with politicians at some point." She said, crossing her arms.

"I handled myself pretty well with Udina last time I saw him. And that's mostly because he can make our lives hell if we piss him off. This chick probably wants us to run an errand for her." I rubbed my temples. "Plus, those Black Death things seem to have just caught up to me.

"There's a reason they made you sign a waiver for them." She said.

"Yeah, I also got kicked in the head by a Batarian, and thrown by a Krogan. So all in all, I kinda think I know how you felt this morning. Except my arm's also a little numb where you punched me."

"I believe all of those except the last." She said with a shake of her head. "Alright, head back and have Chakwas take a look at you. I doubt there's any real damage, but better safe than sorry. She should check on your stitches anyway. "

I nodded and headed towards the transit terminal. "Alright, I'll be in the shooting range when you and Liara are ready."

_(So, are you going to hide a camera in case they do start making out?)_

_)Why would I need to? Perfect memory, remember?...also, you realize you're talking about another version of yourself here, right?(_

_(…)_

_)That's what I thought.(_

* * *

**And that'll do it for this chapter.**

**You know, I remember when I used to have long author's notes. Now, I only tell you when I'm working on something or have news...like the announcement I'll be making hopefully before much longer. Which, again, will be on facebook and twitter first, along with most news I'll come up with. Until then, keelah se'lai. **


	28. At Least I'm Getting a Lot of Practice

I looked up as Shepard walked into the shooting range, looking irritated.

"Okay, so are you angry at me, or at somebody else?" I questioned as Liara came in.

"Both." She shook her head. "Long story short, there's a very persistent fan of mine on the Citadel." _Heh, wish I'd been there to see what Verner did._

"What, you don't like signing autographs?"

She gave me a look that said to shut up. "So, you said you could help Liara with the guns?"

"I'm surprised you're asking for help, considering you know how to use any gun there is."

"I'm better with a sniper rifle or pistol than anything else. I think Assault Rifles and Shotguns are more up your alley."

I shrugged. "If you say so." I smiled. "If nothing else, I can at least make sure that you two don't end up-" I caught the look in her eyes and changed what I was saying. "Shooting yourselves in the foot."

Shepard smiled slightly. "Alright, let's start off with the pistol."

_(You know that this is pointless, right?)_

_)Meaning?(_

_(She knows how to use a pistol, or an SMG. She doesn't know how to use anything else.)_

_)That's why we're teaching her.(_

_(Let me rephrase that then: She __can't__ learn anything else. Because it wasn't in the game.)_

"No, don't just keep your arms straight like that. Keep them slightly bent so you can absorb the recoil."

Liara adjusted her stance slightly. "Like this?"

Shepard put her hand on her arm, gently moving it more to how it should have been. _Wonder if they might actually start making out._

_(Do you even get what I mean? I'm saying, you won't allow anything outside the game.)_

_)Why wouldn't I want a biotic who can also use guns? Come to think of it, Tali with an assault rifle would be-(_

_(Listen to what I'm saying! Reality won't allow it! The same way it wouldn't allow to you find Tali before talking to Fist, or allow Garrus to have left the clinic before you got there and talked to him! Hell, even her shopping was the same. Checking prices, but also getting a license for the Req Officer? Does that not ring a bell? Is that not the same thing you did when you played?)_

I didn't reply, instead just watching Liara shoot. She was hitting the targets, but nowhere near the bullseye. And they were stationary, so I had my doubts about her chances to hit an actual moving target.

_(You still don't want to admit it, do you? You want to pretend you have free will. Well you don't! There are things you can do, and things you can't, nothing more.)_

_) Shepard- any version of Shepard- doesn't know what I do. I use the right knowledge in the right place, and things could change. (_

_(Or it could create a paradox that warps reality apart. Or it could change the timeline enough that all your knowledge is useless.)_

_) How do I know you're not just lying to manipulate me? (_

_(I guess you don't. But if I'm not lying…well, can you really take the chance?) _His maniacal laughter would have made my ears bleed if it was an actual sound. He faded away without saying anything else after that.

"Nice, that one was right in the middle." I looked over to see that she had in fact hit the bullseye.

_In game, there wasn't an option to help train her. So maybe Iron's wrong. Even if- by some miracle- I warp reality, there's got to be a limit to what I can really do._

_A big enough change could ripple through everything. But something small…maybe Alenko doesn't have to die for Ashley to live. Maybe Shepard doesn't have to die and be resurrected. _

The alternative was that Iron was right, an idea I didn't particularly like- and not just due to its source.

* * *

After an hour, it was pretty clear Liara wasn't going to become an expert shot in one day. And she was starting to get burnt out, her aim becoming less accurate.

"I think we ought to take a break." I said as she waited for her gun to cool down.

Shepard opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off by Joker's voice on the com.

"Uh, Commander? There's a guy here to talk to you about dropping off that Mako. Should I let him in, or pretend nobody's home?"

I shook my head, unable to hold back a smile.

"I'll be up in just a few minutes Joker." She turned to look at me. "Maybe you can get her started with a shotgun or assault rifle?"

"Might be better to make sure she can handle the pistol first. Maybe give it a day or two." I shrugged. "And don't forget, there's always plan B."

"And that would be?"

I made my eyes glow in response, and after a moment, she nodded reluctantly. "Alright, I'm going to go see what they need up top. If you two are still up for it-"

"I was actually hoping to talk to the Lieutenant and get some pointers on using my biotics. I only have a little formal training." Liara said.

I didn't let my face change, but I knew she was lying. _According to…well, to her, all asari schools have biotic programs as part of basic education. Plus, she seemed to be a little more nervous than usual when she said it._

"I'll leave you to it than." She said, walking out of the room. I watched the door close, and waited a moment before turning to Liara.

"So, what did you really want to talk to me about?"

She gave me a surprised look. "I wasn't that obvious, was I?"

_Well, Shepard was probably a bit distracted, since-_

_(Since she was imagining her naked?)_

_)… pretty much.(_

"I'm usually pretty good at reading people. Guess it comes with being hard to read myself." I shrugged. "So, if it isn't the biotics, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Well, it's about…Raptor and I."

I didn't let my face change, but I mentally highfived myself for having my suspicions confirmed beyond any doubt.

"I'm just wondering if there's something about human relationships I don't know about."

"Why would you think that?"

"Well, every time you mention anything about us, she looks embarrassed, and you always seem to be on the verge of laughing about it."

I rubbed the back of my neck. "Well…see, I know that Asari are monogendered and all that, but the resemblance to a human woman is pretty strong. Really, I'd be giving her a hard time regardless of who she was with."

_(Except it wouldn't be you.)_

_)Huh?(_

_(You wouldn't be the one giving her a "hard time" if she was with someone else. Hahahahahahah! )_

I shoved him back forcefully, unable to conceal a momentary grimace, but Liara didn't seem to notice, lost in thought.

"So, she's reluctant to talk about it because the thought of being with a…woman, embarrasses her?"

This conversation was very much testing the limits of my facial control. "Well, I don't think it's so much that as...hang on, I'm trying to think of how to put it so you won't misunderstand it." I said, mostly to buy myself time.

She nodded, though she looked a little worried.

"Well, you were there when the reporter was interviewing us, right? She was trying to make it sound like we'd become the Council's 'pets' or something, and didn't care about the Alliance." I shrugged. "So if it becomes well known that Shepard's girlfriend is one of the Council races...it wouldn't exactly disprove those claims."

She nodded, eyes on the floor.

"I've seen the way she looks at you Liara. Embarrassment is the farthest thing from what she feels. I think it's more just that she doesn't want it to be common knowledge." I shook my head. "I feel like I'm somehow making things worse by continuing to talk. Shepard's the one you really speak to."

As though I'd said the magic words, her voice was suddenly in my ear. "Bourne, we've got a call from Alliance Command coming in, and they want to speak to us both."

I looked over at Liara. "If you want to keep practicing, you've got enough of the basics down to do it solo. But it looks more like you should go relax and read a book or something."

"I doubt I'll be able to relax at the moment, but I suppose your advice is good. When you see Raptor, can you please tell her I want to talk to her?"

"Sure." I hit the earpiece as the door closed behind me. "Did you talk to the Mako guy? Because I thought it wasn't supposed to be here for several more days."

"I'll explain when you get up here."

"Alright, just give me a moment to store my armor- plus, there's the whole 'slowest elevator in existence' thing, so it might be a bit."

"Just get here as fast as you can." She said, cutting the channel.

* * *

Shepard heard the door opening, and turned to see Bourne walking towards her, grinning slightly.

"What did you do this time that I'm going to want to hit you for?"

His face went to its normal expressionless state. "I'll tell you in a moment. Let's not keep the Admiral waiting any longer."

"Good, because I get the feeling he mostly wants to talk to you. Joker, open the line back up."

"Will do Commander."

"Lt. Bourne, this is Admiral Hacket, alliance fifth fleet. Ms. Al-Jilani's story on you just aired."

He crossed his arms, muttering something under his breath about "Lt. Bourne" that the com didn't seem to pick up.

"The alliance brass isn't too happy about your treatment of her. Threatening her, and smashing her cameras? Not exactly what could be called good press."

He shifted uncomfortably. "She would have kept trying to make us look bad regardless of what we said or did."

"This is coming straight from the joint military command. Personally, I agree, though there were better ways to handle it. Despite how satisfying your method was to watch."

He chuckled quietly at that, and Shepard shot him a disapproving look.

"But that isn't the only reason I'm calling. Shepard, I've received information I thought you'd want to see."

She glanced at Bourne, but his face seemed even more blank than usual, as though he was putting in extra effort to keep it like that.

"Someone has been killing former Alliance Scientists- four in the last month."

"Sounds like someone has an experiment they want to keep secret." Bourne commented, and Shepard thought there was something odd in the way he said it, as though he was only half focusing on the conversation.

"We found a connection between the scientists, and you. They all worked on a classified project several years ago. On Akuze."

Shepard had to grab the railing for support. "What?"

"You think that what happened was deliberate?" Bourne asked, though it sounded like he already knew the answer was yes.

"I don't know. The project records were sealed. But if it wasn't an accident…Commander…Shepard, what you do with this is up to you. But I thought you deserved to know."

"Are there any leads?" Shepard asked, somewhat shakily.

"There was one other scientist on the project. Doctor Wayne. I'll send you his last known coordinates."

She looked at the coordinates on the galaxy map, and zoomed in on the planet.

"No place for the Normandy to land." Bourne noted. "And with the Mako still gone, it'd be one heck of a hike if we want to get there."

She answered before the Admiral could. "That's why there was someone here earlier. Another Alliance ship is docked at the moment for shore leave. They offered to give us theirs so we can deploy sooner to go after Saren- or more likely go after the scientist- and then they'll take the new one when it arrives."

"Crew won't be happy if we cut shore leave short to do this." He muttered, apparently not thinking Shepard would hear. He raised his voice. "Alright, we'll look into it."

"I'm not going to order you to leave right now and cut shore leave short, but the sooner we know what's going on the better. Fifth fleet out."

Shepard leaned on the railing, not sure her legs would support her.

Bourne gently put a hand on her shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"I don't know. All this time I thought it was just a freak accident, and it was my inexperience…if someone made those things attack us, I want to know who, and why."

"So you want to tell the crew to get ready to leave?"

"Yeah, but…the Mako won't be ready until tomorrow. It got a little banged up, and it needs repairs. I want to wait until then to decide whether or not to take it."

I nodded. "Whatever you decide Shepard, I'm with you."

"I appreciate that." She pushed off from the rails. "If you need me, I'm going to be in my cabin."

"Alright. By the way, Liara told me she wanted to talk to you when you get a chance."

"Did she say what about?"

"It sounded like it might be important." He said with a grin that looked forced. "I'm going to go do some target practice of my own."

"So you took your armor off for a five minute conversation?"

"…well…yeah, it sounds dumb when you say it like that." He chuckled, again sounding forced. He shrugged and walked down the stairs, slightly faster than he seemed to usually move.

* * *

I kept the grin until I was alone in the elevator, then I allowed my face to sink into a mask of defeat.

_(Well, let's examine the facts, shall we? In the game, with a sole survivor, you always headed to do that pretty much immediately after the first core mission.)_

_)I get it, alright? You think reality is warping around me, and that's why the Mako's here against all odds.(_

_(Can you think of another reason? Another ship just happens to be in dock while you are, and offers their mako only minutes before you get a mission that would need it?)_

_)She said it won't be ready until tomorrow.(_

_(Do you deny that the timing is rather unlikely?)_

I scowled at the wall. _)Could still be a coincidence.(_

_(Hah! You're just in denial. Well, if you're too stupid to see the truth, I won't waste my breath…or thoughts, or whatever.) _He paused. _(Didn't you grab Fist's OSD after you accidentally killed him?)_

_)Yeah, but I'm not sure it's even still there. Between falling a few stories before suddenly stopping-(_

_(I would bet a lot that it is.)_

I shook my head as the doors opened. _)Yeah right.(_ I went to my locker and started putting my armor back on, somewhat annoyed at myself for bothering to take it off for such a brief conversation.

As I got to the belt, I froze, a shiver running down my spine.

_(I love to say I told you so, so…you are an idiot for disagreeing with me.)_

I gently removed the OSD from the belt; it looked completely intact to my inexperienced eyes. Unsure of what else do with it, I just stuck it back on. If Iron was right, I'd eventually be bound to run into Ms. Wong, and I could give it to her then. If he was wrong, than it would serve as a small trophy.

If I were to place money though, I would have placed it on the latter, and I suspected Iron knew it, although he didn't say anything about it.

I grabbed my gloves, and saw something else under them. Pulling them out, I realized it was the quartet of knives I'd taken from the mercs the night before- We'd gotten back late and I'd just shoved them in my locker along with my pistol.

I grabbed one of them to examine more closely. Size aside, they looked like carbon copies of what I already had- which made sense, because the system had evidently been taken from a blue suns hideout.

_(You haven't considered that either. The knives, the S-17, the other knives…all came perfectly into your hands. The knives were out when you were there, when they were supposed to be in storage. Your new gun just happened to appear out of nowhere, because someone packed it in the wrong place. The knives from the mercs…well, actually they could just have been idiots who picked a bad day, but the other two are pretty convincing if I do say so myself.)_

_)That's because you do.(_

I smiled as I heard footsteps behind me, though they were quiet. I pretended not to hear, continuing to put my gear on, and waited until they were directly behind me to speak. "You may want to lead the ninja thing to me Miss Williams."

"Damnit." She moved over to her work bench, scowling slightly. "How did you know it was me?"

"I've got good ears." I said, leaning against the locker as I turned to face her. I shrugged. "Part of the genetic enhancements."

She stopped and turned to look my way. "Yeah, I heard about that." She chuckled. "Joker wasn't happy to hear it."

"Why's that?" I asked, after trying and failing to come up with any reason he would be.

"There was a betting pool on why your eyes always seem to glow, and he bet on you secretly being an android…mostly as a joke, but he still had to pay up."

"I hope he doesn't want Shepard or I to reimburse him."

"Well, maybe you can hit up a casino and make some easy money. Not like you don't already have the perfect pokerface."

I chuckled at that, then abruptly stopped as a thought hit me. "Yeah, about that…"

"You were going to suggest somewhere else to go- maybe somewhere you need a date?"

I rubbed the back of my neck. "Well, shore leave might get cut short now."

"Why?"

"It boils down to having a mission that's rather personal to Shepard, and a replacement Mako being made available earlier than expected."

"You really think she'll cut shore leave short?"

"I don't know. The Mako won't be ready until tomorrow, so I'm betting she'll sleep on it. But…I wouldn't make reservations for the day after tomorrow if I were you." I rubbed my temples. "And I get the feeling the crew won't be happy about it."

"No, probably not." She started taking apart an assault rifle, and grabbing what looked like cleaner. "Do you have any plans for tonight?"

I smiled. "I was about to ask you the same thing."

"Well, if you take off that armor and put on something a little more appropriate, I know of this great barbecue place."

I looked down at myself and sighed. _Well, at least I'm getting a lot of practice getting in and out of this thing. _"Alright…but maybe skip the alcohol this time."

"No argument there. Give me a few minutes to freshen up and I'll be ready to go."

_Of course in girl talk, a few minutes is closer to half an hour._

_(Or an elevator ride.)_

I had to fight a chuckle as I continued to get back out of my armor.

_(If I were you, I'd be kicking myself right now. Taking it off for one conversation, putting it on for a conversation, and now taking it back off for dinner.)_

As I put my gear away, a thought came to me, and after making sure nobody was around, I grabbed the OSD and shoved it in my back pocket.

_(A little more onboard with the reality warping idea?)_

_)Same principle as a condom. Better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it.(_

_(You know, I get that the saying is "at least buy her dinner first", but that seems a little fast. I mean, I get the appeal, but-)_

_)Don't you have a puppy to kick or something?(_

_(I would never kick a puppy! A kitten, sure, I hate cats, but not a puppy. Hell, I'd beat the kitten to death with a puppy.)  
_

I took that as a good sign it was time to stop talking to him. Not that there was ever really a good time to start.

* * *

**And, that'll do it for this chapter. See you next week- or maybe a little earlier, since it seems like I'm finally at the point where almost no changes are needed. **

**That said, it's still time consuming, and that's something I've got a lot less of now, so who knows. Fingers crossed.  
**


	29. That Answers That Question

I groaned as I sat up in my sleeper pod. _I have got to find something to replace that stupid default beeping noise. Worst alarm ever._

I popped the pod open and stepped out, taking a moment to make sure Alenko wasn't there to catch me by surprise- not that I expected him to be this early in the morning.

Even though Ashley and I hadn't gotten back to the ship until early in the morning, I'd never changed my alarm. And apart from the usual early morning fog, I seemed no worse off for missing the sleep. _Thank you anonymous geneticist._

As I grabbed a ration pack, I thought about the night before and had to smile. Even though I'd known some of what Ashley had told me, I'd enjoyed spending time with her- apart from her company, it was nice to not be shot at or have someone try stabbing me.

It occurred to me as I thought that most of my time had been spent like that- or else training to spend time like that with the range.

I grimaced slightly at the thought.

_(Why? You're at least not terrible at killing things. When you have the sense to actually kill things.)_

I shoved him away angrily, but admitted to myself that other things just seemed unimportant now. A game or vid or novel could hardly come close to the constant rush my life had become since waking up on Eden Prime.

I glanced up as I heard the medbay open, and saw Shepard walking out, yawning. Her hair was messier than I'd ever seen it, and there were faint purple markings on her face on neck- in the same color that Liara's lips appeared to be. _That answers the question of 'does Shepard's girlfriend wear lipstick?' Among others._

When she noticed me, she froze like a dear in the headlights.

"Looks like you had a…relaxing night." I said with a chuckle as I turned back to the food.

She rubbed at the markings with irritation and tried to straighten out her hair as she grabbed coffee and a ration pack.

"I take it from the way you're glowing that you talked to Liara about her worries?"

Her head snapped my way. "What worries?"

This time I was the one frozen in the headlights- though in my case it was fear from the way she was looking at me, rather than sheer embarrassment.

She sat down across from me. "What are you talking about?" She demanded again.

I thought about saying it was a minor thing with her shooting, but figured she wouldn't actually buy it. "If she hasn't brought it up-"

"Obviously she has, or you wouldn't be talking about it right now."

I sighed. "I think it's something that you ought to hear from her."

"Well she never mentioned it last night."

I looked at her, than the medbay, than back at her. "Somehow, I doubt there was a lot of talking going in there."

Her face reddened, but I cut her off before she could speak.

"It seemed like it was pretty important to her, so I'm going to take a wild stab here and say you went in there to vent." _To start with anyway._

She nodded reluctantly. "Between Talitha, and this news about Akuze…"

"So then, did you even give her the chance to really vent herself?"

"…I guess not."

I took another bite, mostly so I could think for a moment. "Ok, what it boils down to is this: remember the time you used her as a pillow in the skycar?"

I winced as her foot slammed into my shin under the table. "I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about." She pretended ignorance.

"_That'll be bruised later… _Seriously, what's nearby that's reflective? Because every time I so much as mention or imply anything between you two, you go scarlet. And the only time I've seen you two really…intimate was in said skycar by using her as said pillow." That time I was able to move my leg as she kicked, and she only hit chair. "Point is, she's a little worried that you never seem to really acknowledge that you two are together, and you get embarrassed whenever someone brings it up."

She looked at me pointedly.

"Fine, whenever I bring it up."

She sighed. "I guess I can understand why-"

I held up a hand to cut her off. "I'm not the one who needs to hear it. Liara has that privilege."

She put both elbows on the table, bringing her hands together in front of her. "Not what I was going to say. She wants to come with us today."

"…Huh, I'd have figured she was more exclusive than that." That time I wasn't able to dodge her answering kick, though I probably deserved it.

"I mean when we go after Dr. Wayne." She said, glaring. I half expected her eyes to go as red as her face.

I moved my meal to the side so I could mirror her, hands in front of me. "So, I'm guessing you spilled everything, and she offered to…accompany us on the mission?"

"Not so much offered as almost demanded."

"But…you don't want her in combat, is that the problem?"

"Of course it is! She's barely able to use a pistol!" She shouted, standing up in her seat.

"You trying to wake up everyone on the ship?" I asked wryly.

She sat back down reluctantly.

"She's not as…you know what she said about wanting to stay so I could help with her biotics? Total bullcrap."

"What do you mean?"

"Every Asari school has biotic programs as part of basic education, since every Asari is a natural biotic. She might not be a commando, but she knows how to take care of herself with those things. Take it from someone qualified to judge."

She looked at her hands, apparently unwilling to meet my gaze.

"Look, Shepard, I get it. You've lost a lot of people, and don't want to lose someone else." My face darkened as I looked at my hands, at the spiderweb of scars across my right palm- other than my knowledge of Mass Effect lore, it was pretty much the only personal thing I could remember from the real world. The knowledge that there was so much else I didn't know made my blood boil, and made me want to find out who did this to me and rip them apart.

"You've lost people too, haven't you?" The question was asked so quietly, it took me a moment to register she'd spoken.

"I suppose I have." My hands clenched into fists involuntarily- tight enough that my nails started digging into my palms, and I saw a few drops of blood appearing. I had to almost pry them open, and even then they felt like they'd snap shut at any provocation.

"You're not really a merc. Not at heart." I glanced up at her words.

"I wish I could believe that." I grimaced. "Like I said before- I'm anything but a Hero."

"I remember you saying it. What I don't get is why."

I didn't reply, because the only way to respond would have to be a lie. Or else- "Just because you don't enjoy doing something, doesn't make it easier to live with yourself for doing it."

"Talitha-"

"I'm not talking about her." I said, looking at the table. Even with a half lie like this, I didn't want to look her in the eye. And it helped me seem guilty anyway. "I don't want to go into the details…but-"

"If you don't want to tell me, I'm not going to force you."

"You deserve to know." I took a moment to compose myself, make sure my face went blank. "I was raised by the mercs for a long time. They were pretty much my family. But being raised that way tends to screw up a person's perspective." I grimaced- and it was genuine. "When they started the real combat training, at first they thought I was a typical human- that everyone was as strong as fast as I am."

"They didn't know about the genemods?"

"At that point, I didn't either. I still don't really know where they came from- where I came from. Maybe a lab I managed to escape from- or else someone else broke me out. Anyway, once they figured it out…the training wasn't exactly fun, but it had other perks." I crossed my arms, and looked down at my own lap. "They had no reason not to trust me, and they started taking me on missions where other gangs might be around. They were usually right. And I wasn't exactly trained for negotiating."

I paused a moment to let that sink in. "I eventually got access to where they kept the records on drug running, plans for future hits, etcetera. Most of it wasn't new to me. The extortion records were."

I glanced up, but she hadn't reacted.

"I knew what they were- I'd heard some of the others talking when they didn't know I was there. The guy usually in charge of 'handling' them wasn't able to- wounded from a firefight. The rest of them decided to wait. I went back and found the records."

"You went to collect?"

The way my head went down was answer enough. "If you're expecting a happy ending for them, I suggest you walk away now. I saw them suffering, saw them begging- if I were a Hero, I'd have found a way to help them. The ones who couldn't pay- I was at least affected enough that I didn't just make examples out of them like the rest did. I gave them a warning, but that was it. That was all the help I gave them."

"You feel guilty about it now though. What changed?"

I laughed harshly. "Nothing changed. I knew deep down what I was doing was wrong, that eventually they wouldn't be able to pay, when someone besides me went to collect. I all but killed them…and I did to save my own selfish skin."

She didn't reply, and I looked up to see her looking at me with the last thing I'd expected. I'd expected surprise, outrage, maybe hatred or loathing. What her eyes held was sympathy.

"You were in a tough environment. You knew that-"

"Yeah, I've heard it all before- usually coming from myself. Know what it's called? Justification." I shook my head. "If I had the chance to do it over- I don't know whether I'd actually save those that died, because I know the others could tear me apart. They taught me most of what I know, but not everything they knew."

_(Wow, way to use the most cliché line of all time.)_

_)Here's one a little more cliché- go to hell.(_

"So eventually, you left?"

"I wish it had been that simple." I said, in a tone that said I didn't want to talk about it.

She didn't pry though- which was a good thing since I had no idea how to follow up if she did pry, not off the top of my head.

"For a while, I just drifted from place to place, trying to forget without really being able to." The irony of that lie didn't escape me. "Eventually, I headed to Eden Prime, and you know how things went from there."

We were both silent for several minutes before she spoke. "Why Eden Prime?"

I gave her a surprised look, before remembering she'd been out cold when the captain had asked. "Isolated, small, seemed like a good place to start over- at least in some ways."

"In some ways?"

"Let's face it Shepard, can you really see me as a general manager or a cook or anything? I'm good at fighting, but not much else." I snapped my fingers, lifting my tray off the table a few inches, glowing blue. "And I couldn't go without using my biotics any more than you could go without using your arms and legs."

"Anderson said that you'd been planning to join the marines anyway?"

"I don't know that I was really 'planning' anything that well. But it was either that or become a bounty hunter. Maybe a bodyguard." I added as an afterthought.

She looked away, thinking. While I was still better at it, her face wasn't easy to read.

_If she keeps this up, I'm going to slip up, overdo it, or just not have an answer. Time for a change of subject._

_(Ask her if Liara likes to be on top or bottom.)_

_)…I realize you may find this hard to believe, but I happen to enjoy breathing.(_

_(It is a good question though, isn't it?)_

_)Sure- if I was about a hundred meters away from her and she didn't have any weapons. Oh, and if she had temporary short term memory loss.(_

_(You're no fun at all.)_

I mentally rolled my eyes at him. "What about you?"

Raptor looked back at me in question.

"How'd you end up in the military?"

The look on her face made me want to take the question back, but after a moment she relented. "I guess it's only fair for you to ask." She looked down, unable to meet my gaze. "After…the attack…" She stopped for a moment, and I thought she'd changed her mind about telling me.

As I was about to speak, she cut me off.

"You asked once about why my eyes glow?"

I thought back, and nodded. "You said they were cybernetic implants."

"How much did you hear of what I said to Talitha?"

I thought for a moment. "It took me a minute to shimmy my way over to you. I think the first bit I caught was you getting ready for school."

"Then you know how I hid in the closet while they killed my friends and family." Her hand slowly moved to rub the scar above her right eye, seemingly of its own accord. "And then they brought the house down on top of me."

There was another long silence, her lost in her memories and me unable to think of how to respond. _I might have had it rough in a few ways-_

_(Exhibit A.)_

_-but I've never gone through something like that. It's one thing to not be able to remember your family, but to watch your brother get shot before your eyes…and all that happened before she even heard of Akuze._

"You ever had a bit of dirt in your eye, or anything like that?" She asked, barely waiting for me to nod before continuing. "Imagine there was a lot of it, and it was made of metal or drywall. And that you couldn't move your hands to get it out. And that you were like that for over a week."

I winced slightly. "I take it that your eyesight wasn't 20-20 after that?"

"Even with cybernetics, they didn't expect me to ever have 20-200. They thought I'd be legally blind for life." Her face darkened. "And that was without the other…issues."

"PTSD?" I guessed with some trepidation.

The way she glared at me backed that feeling up, even though she didn't keep it up for more than a few moments. "That, I do want to keep to myself."

"Fair enough."

_(You know, considering that you 'created' her, you'd think you'd know more about her.)_

_)Like I'm going to have a full headcanon before I even hit enter.(_

_(You did for Viper. Probably because she was your hottest version of…ugh, seriously, make me stop doing that!)_

I had to agree with that one.

For a long while, there was only silence between us, only broken when a few crew members came through, having enjoyed the perks of shore leave a little too much and trying to get a couple of hours of sleep.

Shepard looked over, disapproval clear on her face.

"If you plan on lecturing them, you might want to wait until they're actually in a condition to really take it in." I commented.

"Maybe I'll have you do it." She said, turning back to me, a slight smile on her face. "For me it'd be a little hypocritical, considering how I ended up yesterday."

"You do realize I probably drank enough alcohol to kill a normal human, right? And that apart from Wrex I'm about the worse possible candidate for something like that?"

"Your methods would make it stick more than mine would." She joked.

"Heh, Good point."

She brought up her Omni-tool to check the time. "Looks like the rest of the crew won't be up for a while. I'm going to go hit the training room while it's still relatively empty."

"When do we want to break the bad news about shoreleave?"

She grimaced. "I'll do it after my workout- just be ready to get the CIC quickly so you can help deal with the complainers."

"Got it." I said, watching her go into the elevator. _So much for my own early morning workout. Any other day, I doubt she'd mind, but I get the feeling she wants to be alone at the moment._

I brought up my Omni-tool with a sigh. _I really need to just download some books or something for this thing._

_(Maybe you should take up a hobby- like knitting.)_

I ignored him and started queing up things for download. _And the estimated download time is…two hours? Argh, even in the future technology is a pain in the ass._

I looked up as the medbay doors opened, and Liara stepped out.

_(Looks like she didn't get much sleep last night, if you-)_

_)Yes, I know what you mean.(_

_(Like you wouldn't have made that joke if I didn't.)_

"Good morning Lieutenant." She said with a yawn as she sat down.

I glanced at the time, and was surprised to find how much time had passed since I'd woken up. "Sleep well?" I asked, unable to help a smirk.

_(See? You just proved my point. And what happened to not wanting to embarrass her?)_

_)That was because I wasn't absolutely sure. At this point, the only way I could be more sure would be if I walked in on them…great, there's yet another image I'll never be able to get out of my head.(_

"I suppose I did, all things considered." She answered me. "But I would like your help on something."

"Convincing Shepard to take you along today?"

Her surprised look was a clear yes.

"I sorta tried selling your case, but she didn't really seem convinced."

"Do you know where she is right now?"

"Down on the shooting range. Why?"

The look in her eyes was one that made me decide walking away was a good idea. "Because I want you to go down there with me and convince her to-"

"Liara, I may not be a genius, but I'm in no way stupid enough to get in the middle of a lover's quarrel." I stood up, but after taking 3 steps, I was suddenly surrounded by blue energy and unable to move.

_(Dude, you seriously just got put in stasis? HahahaHahahahAhahahahAhahahahahaHa!)_

_)As I recall, I managed to do the same to you when you were trying to kill me after Therum.(_

That quickly shut him up.

"If I can take you by surprise Bourne, I think I can handle a few mercenaries. I have for the last 50 years I've been an archeologist away from civilized areas."

I stopped listening, considering my options. The obvious one was to go down there with her- which was the last thing I wanted to do. _Or…_ I'd never been trained the way a normal biotic had, and I didn't really seem to _need _hand motions. _So maybe-_

I focused on the sensation of warping, and the barrier holding me was shredded apart, shocking her into silence as I turned around. I kept my biotics ready in case she tried it again- and also so my eyes would be glowing.

"Liara, I get it. You want to be there for her. But the fact is, Shepard doesn't think you're ready for this." I lifted up my shirt to display my stitched up side. "What we do is dangerous, and the last thing she needs is for you to get killed out there."

"Is that why you've allowed Tali to accompany you? She's no more experienced than I am."

I paused at that, and after a moment I sighed. "Alright, got to give you credit for that one. If I see Shepard again, I'll at least see if I can get her to reconsider, but I'm not promising anything." I turned to go, but stopped as I reached the stairs.

"Oh, and if you ever put me in stasis again, I'll leave you in a singularity for an entire day."

_(Nice touch.)_

_)Not that I care about what you think, but thanks.(_

_(Good, because I was being sarcastic.)_

_)In that case, go to hell.(_

* * *

**Hey, surprise Thursday chapter! I actually managed to get all the way through with the next bit way easier than I thought I would, so I decided to give you guys this one early.**

**You're welcome.**


	30. This Wasn't My Idea

Despite her mood, Shepard couldn't help but smile as she walked up the stairs to the CIC. She'd beaten her record for the mile run, and for her "Sniping Practice" simulation.

"Ask me if I care." She heard Bourne say sarcastically as the door opened, and she looked over to see he was standing in front of the crewmen they'd seen earlier.

"It's shoreleave, and-"

"I'm Shepard's second, remember? I have access to everything she does- including the roster for who still has duty today. Or rather, _Had _duty today."

The crewman paled, though it may have been due to Shepard's appearance as much as his implied threat. She leaned against the wall, curious to see how Bourne would handle this.

"If you had today off, I'd let the hangover speak for itself. When you stumble in wasted just three hours before you're expected to be working, I'm… less inclined to be lenient."

Based on the way the Crewman gulped, she was willing to bet Bourne's eyes had begun to glow. "And while I'm tempted to just make you suffer through your normal shift but dock your pay, I'd rather have someone who _isn't _hungover manning this station. So you're going to tell me who your friends were that were with you, then you're going to go downstairs, catch some sleep-"he paused as relief appeared on the poor guy's face. "And then all three of you are going to be cleaning the bathrooms for the next 2 weeks."

Relief was replaced by despair. "But-"

"Would you prefer I make it the next month?"

"No."

He cupped a hand to his ear. "I'm sorry, what did you say? I couldn't hear you."

"No sir Lt. Bourne sir!" He snapped off a salute.

"The other two?"

Shepard had to shake her head as the guy rattled off a pair of names and then almost sprinted for the door.

The other crew members nearby looked at him for a moment, before a quick glare sent them back to their stations.

"Enjoy the show Commander?" He asked as he turned around.

"How'd you know it was me?" She responded as she walked up to the galaxy map.

He gestured over his shoulder with his thumb. "There was a monitor that was turned off. Worked like a mirror. And I also heard you walking through the door."

She shook her head.

"No comment on whether or not I was too harsh or something?"

"He's still conscious, so by your standards you were positively gentle."

He rolled his eyes at that. "So, before I start talking, let me just say that this wasn't my idea-"

"What did you do this time?" She asked, crossing her arms.

"Liara appealed to me to talk to you about bringing her." He glanced around, and lowered his voice. "Even if I'd woken up too late to see you walking out of her room, I'd have to be blind to not see that you care about her- and she feels the same way."

She'd begun shaking her head halfway through. "I'm not taking that risk."

He crossed his arms. "But you're willing to take Tali along?"

That earned him a glare.

"Her argument, not mine. Have to admit though, it is a good one."

She crossed her own arms, mirroring him. "Give me about 3 more, and I might start to be convinced."

He put out three fingers. "For starters, she knows how to use her biotics at least as well as Alenko, if not me." He ticked one off.

"And that's all the combat training she has. She barely even-"

"She's good enough to catch me off guard and put me in stasis." He cut her off, leaving only his index finger, which he firmly pointed at her. "And you're letting how you feel about her influence your judgment."

Her fist flew towards his arm, but he just sidestepped it. "I get why you don't want her along, but I don't think you get why she wants to go." He lowered his voice again. "And while I've got a good guess, it really is something you should take up with her."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Christ you're stubborn." He said, shaking his head.

"We have no idea what to expect when we get there."

He stopped for a moment at that, though as usual she couldn't tell what he was thinking. "True…but training can only take her so far."

"You better not be saying what I think you are." She said, feeling her hand twitch towards her pistol.

"So we take you, me, and maybe Ashley or Wrex with us too. Between three of us, we can probably handle any surprises. And it's not like she'd be in the middle of the fight, she'd be hanging back and giving support with her biotics." He smiled slightly. "Did you know that if you throw a warp field into a singularity, the whole thing can explode?"

She gave him an odd look. "I didn't, actually."

He shrugged. "Guess it's not a common tactic in the alliance. But use the right combo of biotic attacks-" he snapped his fingers. "And kablam."

She opened her mouth to speak, but Joker's voice on the com cut her off. "Uh, commander, that new mako is here, and they want both of your signatures for it."

Bourne groaned. "I hate paperwork…can't we just say 'we're spectres and we're taking it?'"

"Unfortunately, no. Joker, where are they meeting us?"

"Down in the cargo bay. That's where they're dropping off the new tank."

"Maybe if Bourne's lucky, Wrex will have scared them off by the time we get down there." She said, smirking at the biotic.

He rolled his eyes. "Let's get this over with."

* * *

_(You are a fool.)_

_)You're going to have to be more specific.( _ I leaned against the elevator, hoping Raptor wouldn't talk to me while he was. She seemed to be mulling over the issue of Liara.

_(You aren't only worried because Raptor is. You genuinely think she could die if you bring her out there.)_

_)Dude, if I fucked up, _I_ could die. Last mission, I almost did.(_

_(Exactly.)_

_)…I'm just going to assume that the only reason what you're saying makes sense to you is because you're nuts.(_

_(Let me put it this way- if T'soni were dead, who'd get Raptor's corpse back from the shadow broker?)_

_)…(_

_(Exactly. It means everything from then on deviates from its intended path. Which means that she's unable to die until a certain point. Just like Garrus can't die until the collector base, Wrex can only die on Virmire, etcetera etcetera.)_

_)If what you're saying is true.(_

_(You don't think it was __me__ letting you charge back on Therum to save your girlfriend?)_

I paused again at that.

_(It was reality bending just long enough to help you out. Truth is, you're the most vulnerable one here- after Raptor. Either one of you can die at any time…and I plan to make sure its sooner rather than later.) _ With that, he was gone yet again.

"Bourne, I need you to be honest with me."

I nodded, question on my face.

"Do you really think she would be ready for something like this?"

I chuckled. "Well, to use her words, she's been an archeologist away from civilized areas for most of 50 years. Not like she hasn't met a few mercs in that time."

She shook her head. "I still can't believe that."

After a moment, I got her meaning, and smiled slightly. "I just figured you liked older women."

I saw her fist clench, but she apparently had gotten tired of punching me for a while. "Monogendered."

"Right, as in they only have one gender- female. Seriously, in the galactic codex it specifically says 'all female race'."

She waved a hand dismissively. "That's just a mistranslation."

"You're just never going to admit it, are you?"

"Because there's nothing to admit."

I rolled my eyes, but dropped the subject, since I could tell she wasn't going to budge.

"If you're so interested in my love life, what's going on with you and Ashley?"

I shrugged after a moment. "It's a work in progress. We had dinner together last night, but that's about as far as its thus gone."

"I would cite regulation, but I know you'll just ignore it."

"You're learning."

She shook her head. "Just…try to be discreet about it. Spectre or not, it can still get you both in serious hot water."

"Despite evidence to the contrary Shepard, I'm not an idiot. Also, I read the handbook while I was in the medbay recovering, and memorized it, so I noticed a few loopholes."

"You memorized it in only a few days?" She said skeptically.

"Few hours, actually. I've got a good memory." I said, with a knowing smile.

The doors opened before she could reply, and as she glanced over, her jaw dropped. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me."

"What?" I turned to look as well, and if I hadn't been prepared, my jaw also would have unhinged itself. As it was, my eyes were wide enough to be used as plates.

"I think the one we left in the volcano would have looked better." She said, walking towards the 'new' mako in disbelief, myself just behind her.

There was almost no paint on it, leaving it a dull and ugly grey, and there were bits that were covered in rust. There were the familiar red and grey stripes and a familiar M35 painted on, but those looked like they'd been done by a child in about 3 minutes. And they were too clean to not have been done within the last 12 hours.

"What do you think?" The 'delivery guy' asked, standing by the open doors of the cargo bay, some sort of giant futuristic forklift behind him.

We exchanged a skeptical look.

"I'm hoping this is a 'don't judge a book by its cover thing'." I commented, looking at the thing in distaste. _If one in perfect condition could have that bad of suspension, I'd hate to see what this POS does._

The guy started spouting out all of its good points, not that I believed any of them. I started circling around the thing, making my own assessment.

_(Which you're basing on…what, exactly?)_

_)Perfect memory, remember jackass? I saw the other one enough that-( _I stopped as I examined the part where the wheel was attached. It looked shiny compared to the rest of the tank, and I guessed that it'd been replaced not too long before.

I heard Shepard's voice from the other side of the vehicle. "I don't know, what do you think Bourne?...Bourne? _Oh, if he snuck off I'm going to kill him._"

I came back around to where they were. "Looks like it belongs in the scrapyard, but I can live with that if it's as tough as he says it is. Where's the bloody paperwork so I can get my part done with?"

He tossed me a data pad, which I skimmed over rapidly.

"If you want to sign that thing Bourne, go ahead. As for myself, I'd rather have Tali and Garrus look it over first."

I smiled slightly. "Surely that isn't necessary." I scratched out my name and handed the datapad back, eyes glowing. "After all, this guy seemed honest enough. I'm sure he wouldn't lie to me." Despite the smile, my voice was anything but pleasant, and the threat was more than implied.

He stammered out something about how he'd never do that, fumbling with the datapad.

"Glad we won't have to argue about it then." I said, letting my face go back to normal. "If you need me Shepard, I'm going to be on the range."

"Why does that not surprise me?"

"Well, it's either that, do something boring, or risk getting left behind on the citadel." I shrugged.

"Good point."

"What, you're not going to say 'I'd never leave you behind?'"

She smiled deviously, not answering.

_(I'm a murderous psychopath, but that look actually scares me.)_

_) We are in agreement, and that's becoming much too common an occurrence.(_

* * *

I almost wanted to swear as I hit my target dead center. _Great, so after like five minutes of practice, I can shoot left handed. I was kinda hoping it'd be something to work towards. _

I half shrugged. _Least if I end up breaking my other arm in a fight or something, I'll still be able to keep going. _

I heard footsteps behind me and turned to see Shepard walking in, fully suited up.

"So, what's the verdict? Taking it or leaving it?"

She grimaced unconsciously. "Garrus says he can get it working by the time we get there."

"Wasn't it already working?"

"Barely. That guy was exaggerating a lot about its positive qualities. But I guess I can't really blame him, not when there's the opportunity to replace it with a brand new one."

"You tell the crew yet?"

"I sent out the word. We're launching first thing in the morning. Should be there not long after breakfast."

"Bet that made people happy." I said sarcastically.

"I told them if they had any complaints, they could direct them to you."

I crossed my arms. "So, just to be clear, what's the policy on inflicting pain on subordinates? Because if I used you for an example-"

"Just threaten to toss them out the airlock or something."

"Maybe I'll just say if they want to complain, they have to beat me at hand to hand first."

She rolled her shoulders back. "Maybe I'll lodge a complaint of my own then."

"Yeah, no thanks. I get hit by you enough when it isn't your main goal."

"Chicken." She taunted.

I glared at her. "You realize of course that if we do this, I'd be hitting back, and I wouldn't be holding back?"

"Challenge expected." She said, beginning to remove her armor. I had mine off before she was even half way done, and set up the range for a cage match style arena.

I cracked my knuckles as she walked in, clad in her normal fatigues. "So, best two falls out of three?"

"If you can last past the first one." She responded, raising her fists, and taking what looked like a boxing stance.

I smiled, then lashed out with a kick to her midsection, which she moved to block. But it was a feint and I yanked it back to sweep her legs out from under her. She hit the ground, and I gently but firmly placed my foot on her side. "That's 1."

She responded by grabbing my foot, and throwing it up in the air, knocking me off balance, then grabbing my other leg and shoving it.

I had the wind knocked out of me as I hit the ground. "That's 2." She responded as she rolled to her feet.

I arched my back and did a modified handspring to get back to my feet, something I hadn't even realized I could do until I did it by instinct. "Then I guess its match point."

Before either of us could make another move, Pressley's voice came over the intercom. "Commander, there are a few crew members that want to…uh, *talk* with you about shore leave."

I smiled and activated my com. "This is Bourne. Tell them if they want to complain, they can come down to the shooting range and discuss it with me."

"…Well-"

"If they don't like it, they're more than welcome to leave the ship- when I throw them out via the cargo bay." I cut the com with that. "You know, I'm half thinking about –" My words were cut off as Raptor hit me in the side of the head, then drove her knee into my midsection and made me double over. A double fist to the small of the back sent me to the ground.

"You, are an evil person." I mumbled into the ground before rolling onto my back.

"Next time, remember to call a time-out." She chuckled, reaching down to help me up.

I smiled as I grabbed her hand. Then I pulled it over my shoulder as I stood up, and used the momentum to throw her over said shoulder and onto the ground. "Good advice." I commented.

"Guess I should have seen that coming." She admitted, rubbing the back of her head as she got to her feet. "I'm just glad the ground wasn't set to concrete."

"Maybe next time we want to show off to each other, we can stick to guns."

She laughed. "You're a good shot, but let's face it, I can outshoot you any day of the week."

I raised an eyebrow. "Left handed?"

That got me a surprised look.

I shrugged. "I guess the genemods also made me ambidextrous or something. Took a little practice, but I'm about as accurate as my other hand."

"Maybe if we're still up for it later." She replied, turning to go. She stopped in front of the door and turned to face me. "There is one little thing I wanted to ask you about though."

"What's that?" I asked, guessing it'd be whether or not Liara was coming with us.

"Well…do you want to take Anderson's old room?"

I blinked in surprise, though I managed to keep my mouth shut despite its attempts to unhinge. "Huh?"

"Well, you're in charge of this ship as much as I am."

I searched her face, trying to figure out why she wouldn't want to use it. Then it occurred to me, and I grinned. "Moving in with your girlfriend already? Damn, I gotta start taking notes on how you do it."

Her face reddened, and I was glad she'd moved away to ask me as her hands clenched into fists. "Is that a yes, or a no?"

"If you've got somewhere else to *sleep* I'm more than happy to take a real bed."

She smiled slightly. "It would probably be easier to fit Ashley in there than in a sleeper pod." She teased.

"Sounds like you're speaking from experience." I shot back. "Who was the lucky lady?"

She looked pointedly at where she'd left her guns, and started back towards them. I brought my own armor my way with my biotics, and tried not to look like I was hurrying as I threw it back on.

"You know, for a guy who knows how hard I can punch, you don't do much to discourage me from doing it."

"It's a thin line between too far and not far enough. I tend to tiptoe that line."

"Right. Well, according to Joker, it'll take about seven hours to get there if he pushes it, which I told him to. And that'll be after everyone gets back, and the preflight checks are completed."

"Can Garrus get the tank working by then?"

"Tali's helping him with it- though I had order him to let her."

I allowed my surprise at that to show.

"Yeah, he's gotten pretty territorial with it." She shrugged. "Maybe it's because Turians have an avian ancestry or something."

I laughed. "Or it could be because it's a guy working on a vehicle. There are guys that would try to rip your face off if you touched their 'baby'."

She shrugged. "Maybe."

"Next time he's stubborn, just threaten to make him wear pink armor."

"You mean like your girlfriend wears?"

I decided it was better not to respond to that, and brought up another program. I didn't see them, but I'd have bet her eyes were rolling as she walked out.

_(Mine would have been.)_

_)I doubt anyone's eyes wouldn't have been. But I figured it was better to have quit while I was behind.(_

* * *

I yawned as I walked into the cargo bay and over to the lockers. _Man, I'm beat. Good thing I've got an actual bed to look forward to now._

"Oh, and we saw on the news you're serving on the Normandy? That Lt. Bourne guy is cute. "

I stopped dead, and Ashley must've heard my sharp intake of breath. "Later sis."

She wheeled around, and her head went from me, to the now inactive console, to me again. "Please tell me you didn't hear that."

"Didn't hear what?" I said, my tone far from convincing.

She sighed. "Just shoot me now."

"So, I rank a 'cute', huh?"

She slugged my shoulder, though it felt like a light tap compared to Shepard's efforts. "Very funny _Lt. _Bourne."

"Seriously, does everyone have to say it like that? Maybe I ought to start going with Agent Bourne, or something about being a Spectre. Much classier."

"Hey, you got to Lt. in what two, three days? It's taken me my whole career just to hit gunnery chief."

I crossed my arms, trying to act like I didn't know the reason why. "Huh. You're at least as good as Shepard, and I doubt you'd have problems with insubordination or something. Seems like waste of skill."

She bristled slightly.

"Sore subject?"

"A little." She admitted. "But I guess you'd find out sooner or later so…My grandfather was General Williams, the commander of Shanxi. Aka-"

"The only human to surrender to an Alien race." I finished distastefully. "Yeah, can't imagine that's a legacy that helps you get promoted. Thought it ought to be if you ask me."

"It takes a special type of thickheaded to march into a job where your whole family is black listed." She smiled. "Did it anyway."

I chuckled. "Hey, if they can promote an ex-merc to second in command of a ship like this, I'd say your odds can't be all that bad."

"Well, in the field, the important part is having people you can trust to watch your back."

I chuckled. "Well, I'd be watching somewhere in that general area. That armor does amazing things to your figure."

She slugged my left shoulder this time. "Don't get any ideas…though you have bought me dinner at least."

"Are you trying to seduce me Miss Williams?"

She smiled slightly. "Would you be disappointed if I said no?"

"Well, I might cry myself to sleep later, so I guess that'd count."

She rolled her eyes. "By the way, dibs on the guns tomorrow."

I considered that for a moment. "Yeah, I guess you'd be the best choice for what we have planned."

"Who else is coming?"

"Liara."

I instantly wished I could take back the word, as her eyes got that look only angry women can create. _Here comes the "I don't like Aliens" speech. Or maybe-_

"You're bringing her along on a combat mission?"

"No. Shepard is, and I don't feel like arguing about it anymore." I shrugged. "For all I know, she'll change her mind again by the time we leave."

"Why would she think it's a good idea?"

"Liara isn't as fragile as you two seem to think. Trust me on that."

"You know, as much as I hate to give the council credit, her mother is working with-"

"Shepard trusts her. That's more than enough for me."

"How do you know that?"

"Well, let me put it this way. She offered me the Captain's cabin because she's not sleeping there anymore."

Her confusion was apparent. "Then where is she-"

"Well, actually, I doubt there's a lot of sleeping going on in Liara's office, but that's where she's spending her nights now."

The look that got me was priceless. "Wait, you mean you weren't just joking about that?"

"Caught her this morning coming out of her office with lipstick all over her face and her hair in a mess. And Liara pretty much confirmed it too." I shrugged. "Shepard's just being paranoid and not wanting it to become common knowledge."

"Is that why you're telling me?"

I chuckled. "I'm just trying to give you a heads up if we leave the Mako, and they're sucking face when we get back."

She slowly brought her hand up to her forehead. "You know how long it's going to take me to get that image out of my head?"

"Sorry." I said with a shrug. "Anyway, we're not expecting too much technical stuff, so having all biotic and combat focused people shouldn't be a problem." _That, and it means less chance of something going wrong and having Liara get herself killed._

_(Yeah, I don't think that'd go very well for the long run.)_

I shook my head and stored my gear in my locker.

* * *

**That'll do it for this chapter. See you...either normal time, or earlier. I'm working on a section that could be either so easy I could get done with it in a few hours, or so complicated it'll take me a couple weeks.**

**Hopefully I'm just being paranoid about it being the second one. But, while I'm not spoiling anything for new readers, it is one of the biggest moments of the original, so I want to make sure I do it right.**


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